rSlash - r/Bestof My Husband Forced Me to Get Plastic Surgery

Episode Date: January 8, 2024

0:00 Intro 0:10 Plastic surgery 5:34 Picky eater 12:35 Controlling Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This episode is brought to you by Peloton. Forget the pressure around fitness at New Year's. And start working out your way with Peloton. They're offering up to $800 off. And free membership for two months with select Peloton purchases. Start moving with the Peloton bike, bike plus, tread, row, or guide in thousands of classes with instructors ready to support you from day one.

Shop Peloton's New Year offers at 1Peloton.ca- slash deals. All Access Membership Separate Terms Apply. Welcome to our Slash Best of Redditor updates, where OP's fiance forces her to get surgery that she doesn't want. Our next reddipose comes from our Slash Relationship Advice. I'm a 26 year old woman, and I've been engaged to my fiance, who's 37 for 6 months. We're getting married next spring. Our relationship has not been easy, and we dated for 2 years before getting engaged, and he broke up with me once and between for five months.

Right now, I'm so conflicted. There was a time that I was so eager to be engaged to him, and now I'm lost. First off, I kind of had to give him an ultimatum to get engaged, to which he responded that he hasn't proposed all this time because of something related to my looks that he's not attracted to. He asked me to get a specific plastic surgery to correct this issue and that he would pay for it, and only then was he willing to get engaged. So I went ahead and got the surgery. Anyways, we got engaged and I can tell that he's not really attracted to me because the surgery

didn't really make a difference. He doesn't compliment me, doesn't really touch me, or initiate things with me. He doesn't complain or bash my looks, but he doesn't rave about my looks either. But this isn't the worst of it. I'm currently in grad school, and he works full-time and makes over $500,000 a year. He's paying for the wedding, and has rubbed it in my face on two occasions about how I contribute nothing, and that I basically never have the right to complain about anything ever because he works so hard to pay for things. I just don't know if I'm making a huge mistake getting married to him.

I don't want to be miserable. I'm so anxious. I don't feel like he loves me, he pushes me away when he's having a bad day and he doesn't talk to me. I just feel kind of neglected in their relationship, but I also don't want to be a victim and consider maybe he's right about some things. Breaking an engagement off is so embarrassing, and this would be his second broken engagement, and I don't want to do that to him. I just feel really lost. How do I go about this?

Also to those who ask what good qualities Z has, I initially thought that he was very kind. He helps the poor and he goes on medical mission trips. He's a doctor. He's funny and we actually get along really well when things are good. Also, I love his parents so much and I really feel for them. They're older and they want grandkids and they want to see their son married. But I don't think they realize how mean he can be. I'm not going to pretend that his money isn't appealing. I didn't grow up with a lot of money, and I watched my parents struggle as immigrants. I always wanted to make sure my kids will grow up in a financially stable environment. I'm not really gold digging

because I'm not a materialistic person. I don't care for expensive things. I just don't want to struggle like my parents did. To those who think that I could get a prenup or a divorce, our culture and community is very strict. I probably should have mentioned that we're middle eastern, not Muslims. We do not get divorced, it's not an option in our church. Also he ended the first engagement, not her. He said that she became too obsessed with the wedding planning and it felt like a different personality of her had come out after she secured the ring. Then, two days later, Opie posted an update. We broke up today. 48 hours after my initial post

and thousands of people on Reddit begging me not to get married, the wedding is off. This is how it went. He picked me up because we had our engagement photo shoot today. He's been depressed for over a month now because of a real estate lawsuit that he started. He's already been putting me on the back burner because of the lawsuit and gives me zero attention. He acts like I'm an added stressor in his life. So I'm already fed up with his mopey attitude. He starts going off about how he's not in the mood to take pictures today and it's hard for him to smile. How drained and unhappy he feels over the lawsuit. I literally exploded on him with everything that happened I couldn't take it anymore. I told him I've never had such a literal manchild in my life. For him to break down over a

lawsuit that he started, that he's not fit to ever be the man, the sole provider of a family, to face real troubles in life. He's never had any real issues in his life, he's a literal man child. I told him that he never acknowledged how insane it is that I wouldn't got surgery just for him to find me more attractive. He never recognized the care and sacrifices I've made for him. I did take ownership of letting the relationship drag out as far as an engagement after he showed me time after time how unfit he is to be a life partner. That part is my fault. I ignored the red flags and kept having hope that he would change one day. I thought maybe if I brought him a child, he would start to appreciate me more. That maybe seeing me as a mother, he would start to love me. I am so glad that it didn't last long enough to find out. We didn't

make it to the photo shoot, obviously. He ended up driving me back home. Sadly, we wasted the poor photographer's time. My fiance's reaction throughout all this was very minimal. It was so cold. He would look down and and look sad but it looked like he was pretending. He said he was sorry and he thought that I deserved better than him. He said that his emotional battery had run out. That was the end of it. I gave him the ring back and told him that we're never speaking again. I'm not even sad. I feel so relieved. I feel lighter. Thank you all so much. I feel so relieved. I feel lighter. Thank you all so much.

Heh, I like this post from Rainy Reminder. The only surgery this poor woman needed was a douchec to me. Our next reddit post comes from our slash relationship advice. Pfft, so fun. What a way to start a post. My husband will only eat chicken nuggets, grilled cheese, and spaghetti-os. That's it.

When we go over to our friends' places, he'll actually bring some spaghetti-os. That's it! When we go over to our friends' places, he'll actually bring some spaghetti-os to heat up in their microwave instead of eating anything else. Even if our friends cooked a wonderful meal. If we go out somewhere to eat, he'll only order chicken nuggets off the kids' menu. If they don't have them, he just won't eat. Man, I hope for her state--------- ha Man, I hope for her sake that he at least eats one other thing. If I try to cook literally anything except one of his three food groups, who claim he's allergic to some random ingredient instead of just outright saying that he doesn't want to eat it. He'll then try to guilt me for forgetting his allergy. Spoiler, we've been to the doctor and he's not allergic to anything.

My husband just turned 36 this month. His food habits were sort of cute slash acceptable when we were in college and eating like trash, but now I'm genuinely worried about his health. I also find myself avoiding any sort of dining situation with our friends, which is so much harder than it sounds. I've tried talking to him about his eating habits and he just brushes me off. Since I don't cook his meals, he doesn't think that I have the right to dictate what he can and can't eat.

I'm not his mother, I'm his wife, but I just want my husband, the man I love to be healthy. What do I do? Also, OP clarifies in the comments that she met her husband when she was 19 and he was 32, so they were legal. Then the next day, OP posted an update, so I did it. I confronted my husband when he came home. I brought up Arphid, which is a void and restrictive food intake disorder. He seems sort of relieved that it's a fairly common disorder.

Some of you absolutely called it. He explained that he was extremely embarrassed and defensive when I tried to bring up the issue with him before. When I explained how much it hurt me when he shut me down, he seemed genuinely surprised. He had no idea this issue was so important to me. I'll admit, I did cry a bit when I told him how worried I was about him eating himself into an early grave. His foods are not healthy, and by the end of our conversation, we both read to work together to overcome this. We'll be going to Couples Therapy this weekend at a local clinic.

From there, we'll look into seeing a dietician and a specialized counselor for his eating disorder. However, I called his mother while he was at work. I asked her about his eating habits as a kid. If there was any foods he sorta liked or anything he was really adverse to. I liked the idea of making weekly meal prep together, so there's no surprises and we can collaborate on solely introducing new foods.

His mother is a very sweet woman and told me all the foods that he would sort of eat and everything he refused to eat. But she offhand mentioned that he has sensory processing issues due to his autism. I asked her to elaborate and she did. It turns out he was diagnosed with autism as a kid. He even went to an after-school physical therapist for many years to deal with his sensory issues. He never told me any of this.

When I spoke to him, I didn't know how to bring it up, so I just didn't. I'm so worried he'll deny it, or he'll get angry with me for speaking to his mother behind his back, since he obviously doesn't want me to know. I feel lied to and manipulated. I don't know how to bring it up with him, because right now I'm just starting to process it. I'm angry that he never told me. His food issues are one thing, but not telling me about his autism is another. It's more and more obvious to me that the man I married

isn't who I think he is, and he's been lying to me for years. Right now, I'm telling myself to wait until counseling this weekend before confronting him. I don't want our conversation to be out of anger, but I also don't know how I could ever trust him again if he was so willing to keep such a big secret from me. Then two months later, O.P. Posts had an update. I confronted him about my conversation with his mother the night before our counseling appointment. I made sure to bring it up casually so I didn't become angry again. He tried to brush me off at first, saying that he didn't know what I was talking about.

After a bit, he eventually confessed that he not only knew of the diagnosis, but deliberately kept it from me. He said that I was his dream, and he didn't want to do anything to ruin our perfect relationship. I explained how I could have been there to support him, instead of feeling like he needed to hide. He said that he wasn't ashamed of it at all. He explained that it's just not something that affects him anymore. I, again, explained that it was affecting me, but he didn't seem to care.

We went to bid both upsets. The next day, he acted like nothing happened. We ate breakfast, he had chicken nuggets, and went about our day. I kept expecting him to bring it up, but he never did. I didn't have the nerve to bring it up again until later at the marriage counselor's office. I spoke to the counselor so as to not seem accusing and explained that this was an issue that bothered me. My husband actually laughed and said that he assumed I'd gotten over it by now. When I explained that, no, I really hadn't. He got angry with me and stormed out.

The counselor tried to mediate, but it wasn't much use because my husband went to wait in the car. I was worried that he would leave without me, so I cut the meeting shorts. Our ride home was quiet. It wasn't until we got home that I said that I was worried he was keeping other things from me too. He said that he had been reading online about how women can't understand autism, and therefore he didn't think that it was important to tell me about it.

I said that was the weakest excuse I'd ever heard. He then said that I would leave him if I knew the truth. I said that if I left him, it'd be because he's a liar. Apparently, he told all of our mutual friends that he had just been diagnosed with autism, and I was considering leaving him because of it. Now many of our friends won't talk to me and act very cold when we run into each other in public. I don't know what else he's told them, but I think he told someone that I cheated on him, because a fake account has been commenting

horrible things about me and my supposed sexual habits on my Instagram posts. I keep reporting them, but then another account pops up in its place. I haven't decided if divorce is the right path. I know he's been browsing in cell and other bitter male-centric websites. So, I'm even more convinced that this isn't the man I married. I'm mostly just confused. I've been avoiding him at home, and it feels like more of a roommate situation at this point. He doesn't really leave as Den until it's time for work, and then he's back in the Den until bit. Yo OP, you approached your husband out of concern and just like being worried about him and

his response is to get angry at you and then start a preemptive smear campaign lying to all of your friends about you being a cheater. What? I think you do need to leave this guy. Not because of his autism or because of his eating habits, but because he's a walking red flag. Does this guy even love you? Or is he just with you because you're 10 years younger than him? Our next reddit post comes from R-slash-am I the butthole. Am I the butthole for telling my sister-in-law to butt off and let me eat my food the way

that I want? I'm a 36 year old white girl who married into a Japanese family. My husband's family has never really accepted me because I'm white, but they're not that bad most of the time. Usually they're just cold, but my sister-in-law is very hostile, especially when it comes to food. I don't like sushi, and my sister-in-law always tried to get me to eat it, and has yelled at me for things like using too much soy sauce, eating my dumpling

whole and not dipping it in sauce first, mixing wasabi with my soy sauce, drinking sake with rice, etc. Recently, we went out for dinner with them for my birthday. I'm okay with chopsticks, but I still struggle with them sometimes. I was trying to pick up a piece of meat and I just used one of the chopsticks to stab the meat and eat it. My sister and I all immediately started yelling at me saying that I was disrespectful. I told her that I would eat my food however I liked and to please mind her own business.

She always does this and I've had enough. People can eat however they like. I'm sick of her picking at my food habits. She said that I was being disrespectful to her culture. I told her that how I chose to eat food is my choice and a mind-or-own business. Things got ugly and I left. My husband stayed with them.

I've been married to him for five years, dating for seven. I've learned his language and speak Japanese with his family. His family has had none of that same respect for me. To this day, none of his family has ever tried Egyptian food or tried to learn the language. I've been expected to learn Japanese even though they speak perfect English. We live in Europe, yet I'm always expected to conform to his culture. Am I the butthole? Then the next day,

OP posted an update. Me and my husband talked today, and I asked him to go live with his family. We will be divorcing. I guess I never wanted to admit to myself how bad things were and how disrespectful his family was. I learned their customs when they didn't learn mine. I celebrated their holidays when they didn't bother to do the same, yet to them, and apparently to many people on Reddit, I'm the disrespectful one. day.