rSlash - r/Bestof My Husband Is a Serial Cheater

Episode Date: January 13, 2023

https://www.youtube.com/rslash Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to our slash best of redditor updates, where a story starts off simple, but keeps getting weirder and weirder and weirder. On this next story, I want to give a warning that it starts off dry, but it gets pretty bonkers, pretty fast. Our next reddit post comes from our slash relationship advice. I'm a 27 year old woman. I made a stupid joke to my 30 year old husband, and he stormed off. How do I fix this? My husband and I have a stupid joke to my 30 year old husband and he stormed off. How do I fix this? My husband and I have a great relationship. Of course, I can't say that we haven't had

our occasional bumps, but it's honestly a dream come true all the way through. Our wedding was April 2021 and we both cried like babies that day. And since then, sailing has been smoother than soap. This afternoon, me and him came home after a little lunch outing with our newly engaged friends, Kai and Marie. It went great, but was just like any other outing.

Nothing special, though we got some bomb pasta back home, which I'm currently shoveling into my face because it's too chilly for ice cream. We live in a super tiny apartment, so he showered first while I got the leftovers into the fridge. I went in after him, finished my shower, and put some lotion on my palm. I accidentally squeezed too much and dabbed some of it away. After I rubbed it on my face, I still had some of the leftover

on my finger, and I did exactly what any perfectly sane person would do. On my thumb, I whipped up a little smiley face on some spiky hair to create lotion man. I came out of the bathroom giggling about it and said something like, hey look, it's lotion man! My husband didn't really react, he just looked at my hand and blinked at me. I honestly was just goofing around and started making a silly voice and saying some random stuff sprinkled with some inside jokes. I was talking for about a minute before he just up and left. I was of course completely oblivious as he grabbed some of his stuff and I was just smiling, asking

where he was going in kind of a playful way. He has a huge truck and we had just returned from a trip, so he has enough stuff to last him weeks. So it didn't really dawn on me that he was leaving leaving until he drove away. I honestly feel like an idiot for making such a stupid joke and then letting him leave just like that. I texted him a few times, and he just said that he's thinking about things and that he's at his brother Tyler's place. I've been texting him non-stop, but he hasn't been responding or even reading any of it. He also goes to sleep really early, so I doubt that I can get in contact with him anytime

soon. His brother isn't responsive either, so I'm just leaving my phone on the nightstand and holding my breath. Was making lotion man as big of a mistake as I think it was? Any advice on getting him back home? Thanks Reddit. Um, okay, OP, how old are you? You're 27?

Assuming that you did something wrong and that you made someone upset because you made lotion man on your finger sounds like something a seven year old would think. OP, how can you, a 27 year old woman, think that making a lotion man joke would drive your husband out of the house and leave you? I'm not trying to blame you exactly because you didn't do anything wrong here. It's just how on earth do you think that that joke caused him to leave? Whatever is going on here, it has nothing to do with lotion man. Then five days later, OP posted an update. So you guys were

right about some things and wrong about some things. For those of you saying that the lotion thing had nothing to do with it, you were kind of wrong. Man! How could I be wrong about that? He's actually mad about the lotion, what? But for the people who said something happened during the lunch outing, you were right on the money. My husband came back the other day. He apologized and said that he was ready to talk to me. I obliged. I tried my best not to be all over him, but quite frankly, I missed this man so much. He's my husband after all. Anyways, I previously mentioned that we went out with our two newly wed friends, Kai, who's 30, and Marie, who's 29. We did have some quality time with all four of us, but often, one or more of our group was missing from the table because it was a fusion buffet,

and the food was amazing. Apparently, at some point, my husband and Marie grabs some food together. Marie, the fiance, told my husband that when Kai proposed, she realized she was in love with him, my husband, even though she accepted Kai's proposal and tried to put the feelings to rest by organizing a lunch out. Though, apparently she was charmed or some BS because she asked him to run away with her or something. I don't know, but she wanted him to leave me and be with her. Now, Marie is honestly gorgeous, which I hate to say because I'm so pissed off with her. She's the typical blonde, blue-eyed, skinny pageant girl who kind of looks like Emma Watson. I am not.

My husband gently turned her down and wished her all the best, but he said that he had her on his mind for a while now. And when I showed him lotion man, it all essentially exploded inside of him. I had been wearing a hair talonsome old clothes and I was giggling over a stupid thing, and apparently my immaturity pissed him off. He got sudden cold feet about our relationship and left for his brother's place. He eventually came back and said that he loved me all over again. I was frozen in shock and asked some questions before asking him to sleep on that couch at

least for that night. He did, and it didn't really help me sleep. I honestly can't believe that he was considering dumping all of our relationship for a crush. The more I think about it, the less I can look him in the eye. We went to Thanksgiving lunch together with some of his family and some close friends, and we spent last night together, so I think that he thinks he's in the clear. I can't lie and say that I'm not considering just forgiving and forgetting though. He comes home from work about six hours from now and I don't know what to do next. Then two days later, OP post in an update. Okay, so before I begin, yes, the full story is wacky and

honestly doesn't make that much sense. I'm honestly just piecing it together by a context clues and I do have some questions left unanswered. When my husband came home we had a conversation. He essentially said the same story and he told me that he was open to my marriage counseling suggestion. I gave him a big hug and did the laundry. Usually we split the laundry and I had been giving him the cold shoulder so I indirectly forgave him in his eyes at least. We haven't really said boundaries with our phones. Like we know each other's passwords and everything, but he would definitely get suspicious

if I was just scrolling around on it. So instead, I agreed to meet up with Kai first. A lot of you guys were concerned that he would tell Marie and everything would implode. But Kai is a big gymnut and I've been wanting to get started recently, so I set it up as casually as possible using exercises to excuse. He agreed. The next morning I met up with Kai. I sat down with him and told him everything I know.

Yes, I cried like a baby. Originally Kai was rigid and tried to kindly poke holes in what I was saying with if you got your questions before he, too, broke down. Apparently, Marie didn't say a word of this to him. That was a big red flag on its own. Then, me and Kai went to go confront Marie. A few redditors told me to be as discreet as possible, so as one suggestion said, just say, I know everything. She played dumb at first, but then eventually broke. You all were right. Marie trying to settle her crush was a BS story.

My husband was the one who approached her. She told me that my husband asked her before she sealed it with Kai if she wanted to have a night with him and another woman. Here's the kicker. Marie said yes. And I hate to say it, with him and another woman. Here's the kicker. Marie said yes. And I hate to say it, but that's not all. Apparently Marie's been cheating on Kai for a while with men and women.

And my husband's also been cheating frequently. They covered for each other and occasionally met up. At the last moment, she declined because she wanted to be loyal to Kai now that they were engaged, and then my husband got all pissed off for a while. Cue me showing him lotion man, at which point he snaps and gets out of there. Kai and Maria both arguing, in tears and red in the face. I told them I'm sorry that I butted into their relationship, and that I'll handle my husband

myself. I found Tyler before the sunset. He told me that, yes, his brother came by at around 11, but he left my place at 8, so that's 3 hours that were unaccounted for. Tyler told me that my husband was angry and didn't tell him anything. He suggested that maybe he was just driving around for a while. I went home, and that night I took my husband's phone while he was snoring. I ran into a million dead ends. I knew that I was missing something, but I just couldn't find

it. Finally, I opened his hidden photos and Kaboom, his story, explodes to pieces. What did I find? Nudes, nudes, more nudes. Even more nudes. All of one girl, not me, shocker, but not Marie either. I don't recognize her. She's absolutely gorgeous. Red hair, hourglass figure, you name it. I'm obviously broken. I traced her back to a contact. I feel sick.

There it is, on a fair. He's been contacting her since February. Days before I surprised him with a Valentine's thing that I had been using up my paychecks for, and I was thinking I was the luckiest woman alive. It effing sucks! I can't read this anymore, but I power through it. Then I hit it, November 3rd, two days after the last nude. And for context, November 3rd is about two to three weeks after OP is posting this story. The mystery girl is pissed off because she found out that he was married all along. She

said that she was in love with him. I would feel bad for her, but she didn't even bother trying to contact me out of love. Ergo, my husband, has a genius idea. He told his mistress that he would bring his wife over in a hotel to show that his wife doesn't care about the affair. Sound familiar? He had been planning to get Marie to pose as me. So I assumed that when Marie cancelled, there was nothing he could do.

He became whiny and begged Marie to come. My husband told his mistress that there was an inconvenience and they'd meet up another day. Then, the lotion man. He got pissed off at me and left. I don't know what he did after that, but whatever it was, he wasn't with either of them. Then he went to Tyler's place, slept it off, and came back afterwards. I'll spare you the details, but I couldn't even pretend to like him anymore after I found

that out. I brought Kai and Marie over the next morning. My husband started effing, blubbering, and tried to deny it all before eventually admitting that he was in the redheads. Marie is actually strawberry blonde, and his mistress is very ginger. And it was the one desire of his that I couldn't fulfill. Even I could see past his BS, saying that he loved only me, and that being with his mistress and Marie only made him love me more. I just said effort and packed my stuff.

He got more desperate, but even I, the girl who was honestly infatuated with him, knew that it was over. He technically owns the apartment so I had to leave. Now I'm staying with Kai. He's as hurt as I am. I feel for him too. His wife was his world. We were hugging and crying for a while, ranting about God knows what, just trying to get

ourselves together to be honest. As far as I know, my soon to be ex-husband is with Marie for now. I don't care about either of them, and honestly, it's kind of therapeutic just having some kind of closure and not walking on egg shells like I have been for the past few days. Oh man, this story was like a train derailing. It started off with like an unpleasant screeching sound, it's like, huh, that's kind of worrying. Then the engine collapses, then the rest of the train collapses. Then there's like fiery carnage with people screaming and crying and, ah, where's my leg? My lost my

leg! Weirdly OP, lotion-man did you a solid. He spared you potentially years of misery. Our next reddit post comes from R-slash-am I the butthole? Am I the butthole for donating my daughter's college fund instead of giving it to my stepdaughter to help her buy a house? So I have a 16 year old daughter who passed away in a car accident on October 19th. I'd been collecting a college fund for since she was young. My ex-husband and I had both put money into it, and she put some of her own paychecks from work into it as well, and now it's about $25,000. I recently got remarried to a man who was a 30-year-old daughter. My stepdaughter doesn't like me because I'm only 3 years older than she is, and my husband is significantly older than I am.

My daughter was very passionate about the environment, and my ex-husband and I discuss what we would do with the college fund. My husband says that it was my daughter's money, so I can do what I feel is right to honor her. We decided to divide the money, and we would each donate to charities that we felt would make our daughter proud. My stepdaughter, however, thinks that we should split the money evenly, and she should get some money as a cushion for buying a house.

Since I'm married to her father, and that makes my contribution his money too. She thinks that donating essentially $13,000 wouldn't mean anything to a big charity, and I could help someone I know in real life. My husband, Ascens joined her side, and thinks that $13,000 would help her buy a house, and we can honor my daughter in another way. Am I the butthole for not wanting to change my plans? Also, opiats and clarifying information. My stepdaughter and my biological daughter did not have a relationship because my stepdaughter is almost twice my daughter's age. I'm 33 and my husband is 58. We have a joint house account as well as separate personal funds. My stepdaughter's brought this up multiple

times. It wasn't just a suggestion, she constantly brings it up. My stepdaughter is also not poor off financially. She can't afford a house She's single and my husband helped pay off her debt before we got married. She just wants a cushion Then OP posted an update. I'm dividing my funds with my ex-husband not my husband now My ex-husband gets half to do with as he pleases to honor our daughter. My current husband gets nothing Then the next month, OP Posts in an update. I left my husband. He told me that I couldn't do what I wanted to with the college fund. I took my name off the account so that my ex-husband was the only owner, in case

my soon-to-be ex-husband tried to clean that money in our divorce. Me and my daughter's father went to a trip to my daughter's favorite town. We went to her favorite spot and spread her ashes. I've been staying with my sister and looking for apartments to move into. As far as the money, we've discussed starting a scholarship or paying a student's tuition. We haven't decided exactly what to do and that's about it. Okay, so some clarifying context here is that she had been married to her new husband for three months before he decided, well, actually, that $13,000 belongs to me and my stepdaughter. Yo, can you imagine the audacity? Even though this is our slash best of editor updates and not our

slash of my the butthole, I'm still gonna give a butthole score. OP, I'm giving you an X-HUSBIN 0 out of 5 buttholes. I'm giving your stepdaughter and your second husband 3 out of 5 buttholes. Trying to take $13,000 from a dead girl and a grieving mother is awful! That was our slash best of redditor updates. And if you like this content, be sure to follow my podcast. Because I put out new reddit podcast episodes every single day. and if you like this content, be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day.