rSlash - r/Bestof My "Straight" BF Wants a Gaycation

Episode Date: December 13, 2024

0:00 Intro 0:14 Gaycation 14:44 Famous ex Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to r slash best of Redditor updates where OP's husband has been hypnotized to become gay and wants to go on a week-long gaycation with his brother-in-law. Our next reddit post comes from r slash relationship advice. I'm a 42 year old woman and my husband is 42. My husband has informed me that he intends to go on a gaycation with his 35 year old brother-in-law in Ibiza. How do I handle this? Hi there, I really wish I didn't have to make this post, but here goes.

So me and my husband have been happily married for about 16 years, give or take. We both have stable careers, good family life, and are fairly fortunate despite the cost of living racking up in the UK right now. We have two boys, ages 15 and 10, and up until this Sunday, I thought that we had it pretty good. We argue sometimes of course, but it's never gotten too bad, and we have a pretty decent love life with some exploration, but I won't get into that. Long story short is, on Sunday, just after I dropped our boys off at their friends, my husband asked me if we had the house alone, and more importantly, do I have a minute.

I said yes, and he sat me down and then got out this printed poster for some sort of orgy and started explaining to me the concept of a gaycation. Alright, please explain it to me because I've never heard this word before. This is where straight men go to somewhere with sun, sand, and booze and become gay for the duration of the trip. But that's fine because it doesn't actually count because what happens on the gaycation stays on the gaycation. I was just completely silent and mortified.

Even more so when he said that he was looking into booking a trip to Ibiza next year with his brother-in-law, my sister's husband, to experience it for himself. When he finally let me speak, I just said, I need you to be clear with me. Are you gay? Because if yeah, then that's okay, but we need to figure out what happens going forward. I didn't let myself get angry or upset. I was just stunned. He swore up and down that he's not gay and he's 100% attracted to women and

of course he still loves me and our boys. So I said, well, do you think you're bi maybe? And he got very defensive, saying how I need to drop the accusations and that this is the beauty of the gaycation. It allows straight men to experience gayness without actually being gay and how it's like going to an aquarium? And again he was adamant that he doesn't find men's bodies or genitalia exciting at all but he needs to experience this apparently. I said well I'm not really comfortable because even if he was bi this would explicitly be him cheating on me and he got angry and reiterated that he's not because that's the beauty of the gaycation. I just had enough and

left the room. I ignored him for the rest of the day but we spoke in tea. Sorry, this is just so British. But we spoke in tea where I asked him again, you know, is that really what British people do? They fight and they don't talk to each other all day but they're still so British. But we spoke at tea where I asked him again, you know, is that really what British people do? They fight and they don't talk to each other all day, but they're still so British that they have to get together to drink tea. Okay, when I asked him again, why does he want to go so bad if he's not gay? He said he's interested in how gay men's lives differ to straight men's and that unfortunately, once the gaycation begins it's simply impossible for a man to resist and he and he must surrender himself mind body and soul to the gaycation or he would be destroyed. I really can't put into words how surreal this was because he was speaking so matter-of-factly

and he again insists that this is a thing that straight men do all the time and how he's actually doing it a bit late. I just said to him that if he has any love for me then he can't go ahead with this and if he does the marriage will be dead. We didn't speak anymore after that. Since then he's mentioned no more of it but somehow, and this is what scares me a lot too, that decision genuinely seems to be tearing him up. He didn't go to work on Monday because he told them that he just felt too ill and he looks distraught every time I see him. I really don't think that he's wholly gay though. I can absolutely believe that he's bi. But I'd rather we talked about that in a healthy way rather than this incredibly weird denialism about going on a sex holiday to Ibiza.

Has anyone known straight guys to do this and come back and just go back to being straight? Like surely that can't be a thing that happens. I'm so out of my depth here and I just don't know how to even initiate the conversation. For the record, I also haven't mentioned this to his sister yet. I don't know how I would even break it to her. Man I can't believe I'm saying this but I have read a similar story about this. The guy who went to Where was it? Idaho I want to say and the elevation made him gay. Like that was a gaycation I guess. Maybe Ibiza also has high elevation. Where even is Ibiza? It's in Spain.

Okay, maybe a high elevation Ibiza in Spain just turns people gay, like Idaho. Then OP posted an edit, which I've gotta read to you guys. I see a lot of people asking about the aquarium thing and at the risk of doxing myself, there's a pretty famous aquarium in the UK called The Deep. At the very end, you walk through a tunnel that goes underneath the main fish tank, so it's quite immersive, I suppose. My husband explained the aquarium thing and that it's a bit like that. You go there and you observe the fishes.

You even get a bit up close, but you never actually enter the water. As in get emotionally invested. Or become a fish. As in become gay. So it doesn't really count. It was a very bizarre analogy and I pointed out it still makes no sense and he just got more in a huff and how I just don't get it. And frankly, I still don't. And then one day later OP posted an update. So after I posted, I contacted my husband to tell him that he would not be staying at home tonight and a bag would be waiting for him. As you can imagine, we argued. Quite badly. I won't go into specific details, but now I'm 100% on board with the

fact that at minimum he's bi, and he might even just be gay altogether. We've had arguments in the past, but I've genuinely never seen him have such a childish tantrum before, screaming about how I just don't understand the gaycation. I absolutely despise that phrase now. And he's insinuating that I'm actually homophobic because I refuse to allow him to participate in this cultural exchange with the gay community. A lot of you said to ask him if it'd be acceptable if the roles were in reverse and I said, would it be acceptable if I went and slept with other guys during that week?

And like clockwork, he was very angry and offended, saying that it's completely different because a gaycation means nothing and what happens on the gaycation stays on the gaycation, so it doesn't actually count. Whereas I would just be straight up cheating. Hehehe, emphasis on the word straight. Well, I turned that around on him. No, but you see, what happens in Manchester stays in Manchester. It doesn't mean anything. It doesn't count. It's like bird watching. And I think I got through to him? He went all quiet and then started crying, admitting the thoughts of me sleeping with another man is destroying his heart. But relationships need sacrifices. So he agreed, while in tears, that when he goes on the vacation I'll get one

week in Manchester to do whatever I want. He doesn't want to, but that's fair in a twisted way, he supposed. I told him to get out of my house. Thankfully, he left without a fight. I know it's incredibly petty, but I also drained the joint bank account, which is legal in the UK, so he couldn't try to use it against me. About an hour later, I got rang up by his mom, my mother-in-law, who just screamed and screamed at me about being a cheating whore, how I was horrible, what about the kids, etc. When I finally got my composure back, I just said, ask your son about the gaycation. Obviously at first she got angry, but I said, no, just ask him about the gaycation.

He'll explain. But she called me an effing joke and hung up. Later on in the evening I got ANOTHER phone call from her in a flood of tears. She was very apologetic and I told her she doesn't need to be the one to apologize. She was so upset that she put my father-in-law on the phone who, while he sounded calm, I could just tell that he was on a warpath. Again, he was very apologetic and said that he overheard the phrase, gaycation, and he

asked my husband and my husband initially said, no, it's nothing before explaining that it's a modern thing that men do. And he gave them the same spiel about how what happens on the gaycation, men can't resist the gaycation, and how a man must surrender to the gaycation. I'm sorry, I'm laughing, I suddenly got the image of the father being like, You know honey, I think that I should go with our son on the gaycation to make sure that nothing inappropriate happens. I think I'll book a suite.

My father-in-law just told him to leave or he'd call the cops. He didn't care where my husband went but he wasn't staying there. My husband tried to call me while I was on the phone but I just ignored it and my father-in-law just said that he was so sorry for me and they have my corner in this. But I told them to also be there for their daughter because it sounds like my brother-in-law is involved. My husband didn't tell them that. And my father-in-law just said that he had to go because he was so so so angry. I got a text from my husband after the phone call which was weirdly rambly saying about

how I'd abused the vacation to destroy his marriage and destroy his life. And again, he insinuated that I and his parents were homophobic for doing such a thing. I told him that we'll talk when he grows up and I blocked his number. I took a day off work myself to have the locks changed this morning, so that's 500 pounds gone, but whatever. At least I know that he won't be coming back. I'm going to look into how to proceed with the divorce and then we'll move from there. Oh, and of course there's also the brother-in-law. So I haven't yet met with my sister-in-law.

We're going to maybe try tomorrow, but we did talk over the phone and I eavesdropped on the conversation with her husband where she put the phone on speaker and I went on mute. Her husband got home earlier. She made him come home, told him there was an emergency and just said to him, can you please explain to me what a gaycation is? She told me afterwards that she was praying that he would look confused or just be like, what? Or anything like that. But instead, he just sat her down and explained that a gaycation is a new thing where straight

men go to gay hotspots and participate in gay sex acts, but it doesn't count because there's no investment and because what happens on the gaycation stays on the gaycation. He said that it's like writing down angry thoughts and putting them in a drawer. You never have to see them again. Yo, these analogies are killing me. The whole time, my sister-in-law is in tears as he just calmly bats off the same points that my husband did about how it doesn't count and he even did the whole it's impossible to resist thing you must surrender or be destroyed. I seriously think they must be speaking to a dominatrix or something. Are there even gay male dominatrixes? Because

surely neither of them are that into this to actually make this up on their own. I really don't want to go into what was discussed, but it did become very apparent to me that my brother-in-law is into Hoji's sissy, hypno adult videos and at times conflated that with the concept of a gaycation. There was this utterly surreal moment where my sister-in-law was just trying to wrap her head around this while also in a flood of tears. And he explains so genuinely, so matter-of-factly, that for most men, the gaycation is either a one-time or an anal thing, excuse me, or an annual thing.

But then some men go on a gaycation for years, and others simply never return, because they use hypnosis and mind control to be totally feminized into a state of permanent pseudo-gayness. My sister-in-law said in disbelief, surely if you're taking it up the butt willingly because you want to, that makes you gay. And he said, no, because that's the beauty of the gay-cation. You can do all this gay stuff, but you don't interact with the wider gay life experience. She asked him if what the sissy stuff is what he wanted and he said, not on a long term basis. And was adamant that this is something that all straight men do, but she wouldn't get it because she's a woman. There were more insinuations of homophobia.

but she wouldn't get it because she's a woman. There were more insinuations of homophobia. Well, that marriage is dead too, I suppose. The whole ordeal ended when she said to him that he had a choice to make and he said, no, he doesn't need to make this choice because the beauty of the gaycation is that it allows him to keep his marriage because it doesn't count. She said, that's not the choice. The choice is whether he's leaving the house that night or she is. The only good thing that came of this is that he did leave. Me and my sister-in-law spoke about it after that and I'm just still utterly stunned. I understand that she's gone to her parents for supports. What exactly did we do to have our lives destroyed in such an abrupt, bizarre, embarrassing way?

Alright, I feel kind of bad about this. The story was actually really funny but also really sad. abrupt, bizarre, embarrassing way. Alright, I feel kind of bad about this. The story was actually really funny but also really sad. These two people, these two women are having their lives destroyed by this so I kind of feel like I should apologize. It's just the fish analogy and the drawer analogy and the hypno stuff is, aw man, it was just too much for me. It honestly kind of sounds like the hypnosis stuff is working that he doesn't have a choice because

he's just being hypnotized into being a Not gay gay sissy. I suppose. All right to all my gay listeners out there. This is a very genuine question I'm asking you because this is the second story. I've read about this. Is this a thing? We're like, I don't know you go to the gay nightclub and then a couple of dudes come in and they're like, hey, hello everyone, we're here on gaycation. We would like one homosexual experience please. No more, no less. And then they just leave and then they're gone. Is that, like, does that happen? Our next reddit post comes from r slash relationships. I'm a 37 year old woman and the guy that I'm dating who's 36 has a shrine to my ex-husband in his house.

I was married for 7 years to a celebrity. I put the word celebrity in quotes because while most of you have never heard of him, he's an A-list in the world of metal music. If you're a metalhead, you 100% know who he is. We split up amicably because he was always going on tour. I used to love going with him, but the thrill of it wore off and I found myself sick of traveling so much. Because of this, we grew apart, but still kept in contact occasionally because despite the fact that our marriage didn't work, he's a really cool, nice person. Two weeks ago, I met a guy through a friend that I immediately hit it off with. We've been on three dates so far.

The first two dates were drinks after work. He showed up in nice khakis and a button down shirt both times. On our latest date, I went to his house to watch a movie. Literally just watch a movie. We're taking the physical stuff slow, lol. He has a nice house, so I asked for a tour. After he showed me the upstairs, he said that he had to show me his game room. We went down into a fully furnished basement with a pool table, a mini bar and darts. But there was something very weird down there also. Apparently, my new man is really into metal music. I would have never guessed it based on how he dresses.

And his favorite artist of all time is, you guessed it, my ex-husband. He had framed posters of all of my ex's bands, autographed signature guitars, every record he's ever released were framed on the walls. He even had magazine articles about him and some of his bands framed. Every wall in his game room was covered with my ex's face and his signature guitars. So I may have messed up here, but I kept my mouth shut and didn't say anything. He knows that I'm divorced, but he definitely doesn't know that I'm divorced from this guy. We're seeing each other tonight for our fourth date, and I know that I need to tell him, but how?

I really like this guy, but I'm afraid if I tell him, he will freak out and run. What should I say? afraid if I tell him he will freak out and run. What should I say? How should I tell him? I just don't want to damage our relationship because I can really see it becoming long term. I know I should have told him at his house, but honestly, I was in shock. Anybody know how to approach this? Okay, man, I'm kind of relieved that someone is pointing this out in the comments because

this was my first thought immediately. Pagan Princess says, I find it really hard to believe that he is a shrine of your ex-husband to the level that you're describing but doesn't know who you are. Maybe I'm jaded but it just seems too coincidental and potentially unsafe for you. Then OP replies, A lot of people are saying this and now I'm a little freaked out. I mean he can google my ex and find out that we were married. Now I'm a little freaked out. I mean, he can google my ex and find out that we were married. Now I'm scared that he did. I'm gonna ask my friend who introduced

us if she told him. Sinashi says, have you ever been in photos with your ex-husband that this new guy might have seen? I find it hard to believe that in this day and age that he wouldn't know who the former wife of his idol is. OP says, This never dawned on me until I posted it, but there are pictures of us all over the internet. Now I'm a little freaked out that he already knew. Then, eight days later, OP posted an update. So I met the guy at a restaurant and we had some wine first. We were just talking and chatting, and I realized that I had to bring up the ex-husband thing. So while we were both two glasses of wine in, I decided to just ask him flat out if

he knew that I was previously married to his favorite musician. He laughed nervously and said, yeah, I knew, but my friend didn't tell me about it. I just figured it out. He basically told me that he found out through the grapevine and he decided to start mingling with my friend so he could meet me. He told me that yeah, at first it was just because I was married to his idol, but now he's really developing feelings for me. I thought it was a little odd, but I felt fine with it until I remembered his man cave

basement. I asked him that if he knew that I was married to his favorite musician, then why the hell would he bring me down there and show me all that memorabilia? His response was too weird for me. He said, I was trying to see if you would confess. I was like, confess to what? And he said, to being married to your ex. I told him that I thought that it was pretty concerning that he tried to trick me into some weird confession and that I didn't think that we would work out. He accepted it and didn't seem upset or anything. Dinner had already been served,

so we started eating when he proceeded to bombard me with questions about my ex. When is he releasing new material? What's his favorite band? What does he do during the day of a show? Is he vegan? What's his mother's maiden name? Okay, I made up that last one, lol. Blah blah blah. Finally, he could sense my discomfort and we ended the dinner in parted ways. He said that he would text me the next day just as friends, which I said was okay. Well, his text the next day was trying to get him and his friends VIP passes when my ex comes near us to play. I didn't respond and I blocked his number because he kept texting again and again begging me for the hookup.

It was desperate and weird. Anyway, I called my ex to warn him about this dude even though he seems harmless. The guy doesn't know where I live and I didn't get any psycho vibes. I think he just wanted me as a trophy as one user said in my last post. Eww. Thanks reddit. OP, um, you seem a little naive, which is kind of surprising. I would imagine someone who's been on like heavy metal music tours with a very popular artist would probably have a much more jaded view of like people because I sort of, you know, I've never been on tour,

but I imagine there's a lot of drugs and intercourse and kind of crazy behavior. Uh, the vibes I'm getting is that this dude is going to peel the skin off of you, wear it as a suit, and then try to use your skin to hook up with your ex. So I think you made the right decision there, lady. That was r slash best of redditor updates, and if you like this content, be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day.