rSlash - r/Bestof My Wife Abandoned Our Baby to Die

Episode Date: December 26, 2023

0:00 Intro 0:10 Wife issues 12:52 Found the post Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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We have to figure out a way to stop this guy at the Ramirez and Mandy Moore's star in Dr. Dev, new season premieres Sunday, January 7th, only on Showcase. Welcome to our slash best of Redditor updates, where it's slowly revealed that OP is married to a psychopath. Our next reddit post is from our slash marriage. I'm a 34 year old man, and my wife, who's 42, is a stay at home mom. OP's wife is is 42 so she's 8 years older than Opie, interesting. Last week I was at work and my two oldest kids were at school. My wife was sitting at the dining room table when she saw a man walking down the driveway and going to the front door. He had what she thought

was a hammer. She went to the front door and the guy was trying to get inside. The guy saw her and waved and tried to get inside. She fled the house and ran out the back door. She left behind her cell phone in her apple watch. She also left our twin eight month old girls inside. They were sleeping in their cribs. She ran through the neighborhood looking for someone to help her call the cops. Eventually she found someone and they called the cops. The police responded and cleared the house. It turns out that it was just a repair guy who was supposed to go to our neighbor's house and he had been told that no one would be home and to just come in. She's what? She's mad at me for not being more supportive of her. Okay, this is a long post. I didn't know where this post was going. I was not expecting that line.

She's mad at OP. What did OP do? You abandoned your daughters to get kidnapped or eaten by a monster? What are you talking about? Okay, okay, I'm sorry. I was just I was shook you guys. I was stunned when she told me this and I was surprised when she said that she left the girls. She's always yelling at me about how I don't do enough for the kids, unlike her, whose sacrifice is constantly. I don't think that's accurate, but it's besides the points. We've been having major issues in our marriage for a long time, apart from this. She's acting like this is one of the most traumatic events of her life, which is making me matter and matter. I'm having a real hard time putting this one behind me. If this guy had been a bad guy, she would have abandoned our girls to him so that she could save herself. Our house isn't that big, and people in the neighborhood and online know that we have two little girls. I honestly don't know what to do. Then OP post some extra information in an edit.

My wife doesn't believe in therapy, and she refuses to go to marriage counseling that I set up for us online after the kids go to sleep. A big issue I'm having is the double standard that if I had done this, she would have never forgiven me and probably divorced me. Back when we moved into a new house, we had a fight because my side of the bid was on the far side away from the door, and she said that I needed to be able to stop an attacker. I've been yelled at for abandoning my daughters when I take a shower in the morning before work and they begin crying, or if she's sleeping in and one begins crying while I'm changing the others diaper and it takes me a minute to finish.

I totally understand that this is fight or flight and I'm not trying to Monday morning quarterback. I haven't critiqued, let alone criticized her. The only thing I did close to that was I was surprised when she told me that she left the girls. Also, OP clarifies that this is a one story house so she wouldn't have had to run upstairs, grab the kids, and then run back downstairs. Also OP clarifies that he's currently in therapy. She's mocked me in the past

for going to therapy and uses that as a way to invalidate my opinions. As in, what do you know? You're just a depression case. So there is no way that you'll see a therapist. Then about two weeks later, OP posted an update. Long story short, things are not going well. I feel like I'm an airplane pilot who's trying to land a plane that's disintegrating around me and that the time to bail out is now. I'm also realizing how much I've normalized these issues, and that my good days with her would be, at best, marginal days for other marriages, and that most of my days with her are awful.

Since that post, I've really tried to do what I can to support her. I honestly thought that I had been supporting her. Anytime she wants to leave, she can. I do the lion's share of the chores at home, which means laundry, cooking, groceries, and morning and bedtime routines for the boys, who are school age. We do an informal system for dishes and with the girls for the baths. It's close to 50-50 on those. I also pay all the bills and handle all the extra curriculars. One commenter said that she gave birth eight months ago so I should be more sympathetic. And yeah, I totally get that. But since she gave birth, she's done four 10-kilometer races, a marathon relay relay and goes to a run group in dinner afterwards

twice a week. She's also gone to networking events for her business that she's currently working on. Since my first post, we've had numerous issues. We've had a lot of days with screaming matches. Here's some examples. She woke up early on Saturday, but didn't wake me or my son up for his early practice. I slept through my alarm. She didn't do anything to help us or get ready. Her only comment when

we came back was how late we were. The moment that I came home, she went to bed. I had all four kids by myself, which is fine. I took the kids to the store to run errands. As soon as I came back in, she got in a shower and left, and refused to take any kids despite their cries. She refused to tell us where she was going. Sunday, she refused to go to anyone's hockey practice because she had to clean the house. While I was going to the skating rink with all my kids crying, she called me because she had hired a person to clean our garage, and she wanted to know where we could move things to. This was the first time that I ever heard of this.

The lady she hired did a good job of cleaning the garage, but she threw everything in the dumpster, including like unopened dress shirts. We had a thermonuclear fight on Monday. My oldest son was screaming at me to get a second helping of dinner ready. I tried bluffing to send him to bed without the second helping. So, my son went straight to my wife and she overruled me. Once my kids left the room, I explained to her what I was doing, and she spiked her laptop on the bed, jumped up, and started screaming at me.

She then followed me out of the room, screaming in front of all four kids that I'm a whiny B word and not a real man and that I'm trying to starve her kids. Funnily enough, this was just before our marriage counseling session. While I was in the waiting room for that session, she continued screaming at me and attacking my character. When the session started, she refused to join. She was puttering around and she started blending something. I tried to be as objective as possible and the counselor said that she was impressed with that. In the last 5 minutes, I tried to just bring my laptop to her.

When I did, she collapsed to the floor like Superman seeing Kryptonite. She refused to do it. After that, I went to bed and she woke me up saying that she wanted me to set up our printer. Yo guys, this post, it is impossible to predict what OP is going to write next. This is the most chaotic woman I have ever read about. We had changed routers and I hadn't had the chance to set up the printer yet. Her lack of anger caught me off guard, so I did it.

She silently stood over my shoulder the whole time and refused to let me see anything. Wait, what does that mean? Refused to let me see anything, so she was printing stuff out in secret? Is that what OP means? What is this post? We had a couple of other fights along the same lane, but yesterday, thanksgiving, we had a decent day. It's not that she was overly affectionate, we just didn't fight.

She slept in until 12.50 in the afternoon and was snippy because I didn't have everyone ready yet. She wanted the girls in the car seats. She then began a 90 minute shower and makeup routine and helped with the kids for maybe 20 minutes. We ended up an hour late for Thanksgiving dinner, but for us, that was a good day. Yeah, there was no affection or anything

and we didn't speak in the car, but yeah, my mind forgot all the issues that we'd been having and I wanted to make it work. That night, I woke up to attend to one of my girls who was very sick. This is the one thing that my wife had always done exclusively, attend to the kids when they wake up at night. She's actually taken kids from me when I do get up before her.

She says that it's because I have to work. One fight we had in September was she screamed at me for being selfish for taking my daughter and sitting with her. I said that I didn't mind because I was up anyways. And my wife turned that into somehow me keeping my daughter up because I couldn't sleep. The problem is that that's become a Trump card

in every argument. But anyways, I was with my daughter from 4 a.m. to 5 a to 5am and my wife slept in. This morning, I woke up at 9am, which is the latest that I've slept in that I can remember. I started making the kid breakfast and finishing the laundry. She was working on her laptop already. She snapped that I shouldn't bother cleaning the house because she had hired someone. I tried very, very hard and refused to escalate, but I told her that we can't really afford a cleaning later and that I've got it. She proceeded to call me a little

beward and scream at me in my face in front of my kids. One of my boys ran and hid and the other sat and read on the couch, but he wasn't happy. She blamed me for not having time to clean and not having money and that I couldn't cleaner do laundry to her standards, and that she wasn't a cleaner. It was about an hour of just constant abuse. So I spent today cleaning the house, doing laundry, and taking care of all four kids. My sons did more cleaning than she has for a month. What's really disturbed me is not the abuse towards me. I've normalized that and I'm used to it.

And honestly, if she kept it behind closed doors, I was prepared to wait out the next 17 years and leave once my kids were out of the house. But my oldest son is clearly mirroring her behavior and internalizing the stress. It doesn't help that she constantly wants to ask him, who's your favorite, who yells more, and who's the better parent. When I refuse to do that, she says that I'm scared of what he might say. So I guess, Reddit, that I just don't know what to do. I'm trying to fix this.

I'm keeping an appointment scheduled with the counselor. But beyond that, other than talking to a lawyer, I don't know what I should do. She honestly doesn't see any issues with how she treats me. She keeps saying, I am a diamond, and if you leave me, you'll only be dating pebbles. Besides the fact that I don't want a divorce, and she spent the last six years threatening a divorce, I don't know if I can show anyone who's that out of touch with reality or seemingly so close off from recognizing that they have a role in causing and fixing their problems with the marriage.

Dude, buddy, friend, pal, you gotta wake up, dude. You have to open your eyes. Your wife is a certified nut job. Like, what does she do? It's really unclear what her role in the family is because OP said that the wife takes care of the kids in the morning because he has to work. So that implies that she doesn't work, but also she was home alone with the kids during the day. And that would also imply that she doesn't work. But OP said that she was working on her laptop.

So I guess she's trying to start a business. What do you think the odds are that the job that she's trying to start is an MLM scheme? Well, okay. Anyways, so she doesn't work. What does she do? What does she do? She runs. We know that she runs and she yells at her husband. She doesn't cook. She doesn't clean. She doesn't really take care of the kids. She just sleeps in, runs, and puts down her husband. Opie, this post is a certified train wreck. It's just every paragraph is another shocking moment of some horrific instance of emotional abuse,

and I don't understand why you're still with her. Dude, you've gotta move on. If not for your sake, then you're kid's sake. If you endure this abuse for the next 18 years, then you're going to be teaching your sons to be spineless pushovers and your daughters to be horrific, emotionally abusive shrews. It kind of sounds like she might be a narcissist, where everything is always someone else's fault and she just wants what she wants when she wants it and she doesn't get it, she explodes on everyone around her. I'm not a psychiatrist or anything, but something definitely seems mentally wrong with this person.

It seems like this transcends just being a mean person, like it's something worse than that. Our next reddit post comes from our slash relationship advice. This is honestly not something I expected to post about, but here's the thing. I've known this woman who's 28 for a while since we're in the same friends group. She's a nice person, attractive, and honestly I've always enjoyed my talks with her. A few weeks ago, I, a 26 year old guy, asked her out on a date. I figured if she says no, it's fine, but she actually agreed. We went on a date this past Saturday Saturday and honestly, I thought that it was awesome. We went out to dinner, had drinks, spent the rest of the night talking, and we even took a

walk on a walking bridge over the town's lake, which isn't a big one. I dropped her off, and I was elated. I absolutely loved the night. However, that night when I was scrolling through TikTok on my bed, a post from her appeared on my 4u page. I don't follow her nor did I even know that she had a TikTok. Essentially, she said in the post, getting ready for a date that I really don't want to go to. That was like a bucket of ice water being thrown on my head.

I was so freaking happy and I just found out that she didn't even want to go on the date with me. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that she didn't even want to go on the date with me. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that she has to want it, but please let me know if that's the case, we don't have to go out. We can forget I even asked her out in the first place. But doing this on the internet, it made me, I don't know, self-conscious or something. Now I'm unsure about what to do. Should I tell her that I saw the TikTok

or just forget about it? Honestly, it really hurt me, and I'm not really sure if I want to give this another try. I mean, she didn't want to go out with me in the first place, right? Then, about one week later, OP posted an update. After last week's post, I read almost every comment, or at least most of them. Some people mention that anxiety is normal, and feeling like not going out is definitely common, suggesting that I shouldn't look too much into it. While I agree with that perspective and see no fault in not feeling like going out, what bothered me more about the situation was that she posted a public tick talk about it. I'm a private person by nature, and even my social media accounts,

like Instagram, have only a single post. I don't really like to overly share, nor do I want to be with someone who does. It's completely fine to share whatever you want. I just don't want to be a part of it. So, I decided not to contact her. I chose to pretend that I had never seen the post and let things be. I understand that a lot of people might think that this isn't the best choice, but I feel that it's the best course for both of us. Last Thursday, a few friends who also happened to know her invited me out for drinks. We went to a bar, and while we were eating and enjoying our drinks, a mutual friend asked me how the date went, as our circle was aware that we were going on a date.

I didn't want to say much, so I just replied, oh, it was good, but I don't think that we clicked. This friend followed up by saying, we figured, which made me feel rather uneasy. When I asked her what he was talking about, he hesitated, but eventually said that they had seen a tiktok post about her not wanting to go out. At this point, I didn't really know what to say. The situation is just incredibly messy for me, but there's not too much that I can do about it. Still, I wasn't going to mention it, nor did I try to look up if there was an update on our TikTok. In fact, I deleted TikTok after that incident. It just wasn't doing me any good. Nevertheless, this past Saturday, she texted me. She mentioned that she enjoyed our date and asked if I wanted to go out again.

I understand that she clearly stated that she enjoyed our time together. However, I don't want to be with someone who exposes so much of their personal life. It's not something that would be good for me. So I decided to tell her the truth and sent a text explaining that, while I absolutely enjoyed our date, her company, and I thought that she was an amazing woman, her post from the night of the date came across my 4U page on TikTok, and it made me feel really self-conscious. While I understand that she enjoyed the date, contrary to what she felt at the time of the post, I didn't feel comfortable going out with

someone who had such a high level of exposure online. I wish you're the best. She read the message and left me on red ever since. I don't think that she'll reply and I don't think that we'll have a lot of social interactions going forward. Well, my guess is that the reason why she's not responding to your text is because she's too busy writing a TikTok about how much of a horrible man you are. To stand you up for your second date, what a disgusting human being you are. Opie, I think you're probably better off because not only was she airing her laundry in public, but what she did was embarrassing. She was putting you down, and yeah, she was putting you down anonymously because most people don't know who she's going on a date with, but still, it was an insult directed at you.