rSlash - r/Bestof My Wife Became a Drug-Addicted Cheater

Episode Date: March 14, 2024

0:00 Intro 0:11 Addiction 14:55 Family problem Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to r slash best of redditor updates, where a story gets worse and worse and worse and worse. Our next reddit post comes from r slash amithabudhole. My wife is usually an angel of a woman, but has recently gotten into a friendship with a woman whom I personally believe is a bad influence on her. Not in a patronizing way, more of a lay down with dogs, get up with fleas type of situation. I never said anything about her friend's childishness or her very radical misandry, because frankly it doesn't affect me. Until it did. A few months ago, my wife began pressuring me to do more around the house. Now before I get an instant year of the butthole, we already split chores and childcare. Admittedly, she did have a bigger cut than I did because she's a stay at home mom,

but I do most of the cooking for breakfast and dinner. Lunch is her responsibility for her and the boys. I take out the garbage, I do the laundry, and I deep clean the bathrooms once a week. I also help with our boys' homework and such. She insists that I'm not doing enough and that I should be doing more around the house. I tried having discussions with her about what she expected from me. Apparently all chores and child rearing should be my duty it seems. And for months this seems to be going nowhere.

She's used the word divorce more than once when speaking on this, which felt manipulative. It boiled over when we were out with friends one night, and she began talking about how I never helped out and how I use her as a house slave. I'll admit, I saw red. The next part is where I might be the butthole. I didn't say anything that night, but the next day I asked my boss to be given reduced hours for the next little bit, due to stress. Then I took over everything in the house.

I cooked breakfast, I made lunch for the boys before I drove them to school, I cleaned the house top to bottom. I did every dish we had, twice, and so on. My wife was BLINDINGLY happy, and bragged to her friends that she finally had me worn in. She didn't lift a finger for around a month. Then she began asking why we never went on dates anymore and complaining that she wanted to get her nails done because they were growing in.

I explained that I had to remove those things from our budget so that we could continue to afford everything else, but we could absolutely have a movie night in and I could paint her nails for her. She was unhappy with that solution. So I asked her if she would want to get a part-time job to pay for those luxuries. She would have thought that I asked her if she wanted to join a cult. She then asked if I could just pick up more shifts at work to cover her other expenses and she used the phrase Be a man, which I found more than a little insulting.

I then asked her if she'd be willing to go back to splitting the chores and such, which is when she began to catch on that these two things were related. She yelled at me that I was being a manipulative butthole for doing this and even claimed that it was financial abuse. I stood strong for a while, but now I'm questioning my methods, because even I feel like what I did was underhanded, so am I the butthole? In the comments, OP clarifies that his wife wants to be a stay-at-home mom. Also, his two sons are not biologically his, they're biologically hers, and he's just raising them. Then, six days later, OP

posted an update. How do I explain to my sons to help them understand that their mother is going into rehab? So, the gist of it is that my wife and I recently had a blowout argument where she admitted to using two substances for several months now, and she's agreed to get checked into rehab, which we're currently setting up now. How the hell do I bring this up to our kids

without them being judgmental or hateful to their mother? Or worse, falling into the same mental space that I'm in? I don't want to lie to them, which is what my wife wants, but I'm failing to see an alternative that won't destroy them, or the respect they have for their mother. Down in the comments, people are asking OP what his wife is taking, and she's taking Clonopin, which treats panic disorder and anxiety, so I guess it mellows you out.

And then also Adipex, what on earth is Adipex? It lessens appetite, so it's like a dieting pill I suppose. Anyways, his wife has been buying those pills from her friend. She also admitted to having tried coke and several other prescription narcotics, but those were the only two that she did often. Then, four days after that, OP posted another update. I was driving my wife to the rehab center that we decided on. On the way, she was screaming at me about how she can't believe that I'm humiliating

her like this. Because I explained what was happening to the boys and I made her message her dealer slash friend that we would not be hanging out or using together anymore. She was yelling about how she doesn't want to go, that I'm a controlling monster, and how threatening her with divorce and taking primary custody of the boys was too far and that I was insane. I just took it and took it and took it until I couldn't and I screamed at her. I screamed that the woman I met would have rather died than had a pillhead junkie around her sons and how she

disgusted me and that I don't know if she knew how much I was considering leaving her not because of the addiction but because of the way that she was effing acting, as if she hadn't brought drugs into our home. She brought them around me, a former addict myself, and around our boys. That I'm beginning to hate her for what she did. That she was becoming exactly what she always cried about her mother being, and that she was lucky that I was here to stop it before what happened to her happened to her damn son. It makes me sick to say this, but watching it sink in just how far she had spiraled

felt good. Watching her realize that her actions have consequences was nice. She yelled a few more times that I was an abusive butthole or whatever, but she was still crying so I felt like her heart wasn't into it. I plan on speaking to a lawyer. I don't want to divorce her, but I don't know how healthy our relationship could possibly be after this. I know yelling like that was wrong, but I don't feel bad, and that's the part that

makes me think that maybe I shouldn't be married to her anymore, for her sake and my own. Then at 12 days later later OP posted another update. She was effing cheating. The drug dealing friends sent me effing videos of her dancing and grinding on this ugly, hick looking bastard. I'm destroyed. The boys are staying with my mother for a few days and I'm taking the next week off work.

I am so done. I've never been so angry in my damned life. The woman was so smug sending it. In case you don't realize that you're replaceable to her, she said. Well, the free ride stops here. I'm done. I saved the video immediately and I'm going to see a lawyer ASAP. I am super thankful that my parents insisted on us signing a prenup that had what I thought at the time was an inhumane cheating clause. I've never been cheated on before and I feel like tearing my hair out. I genuinely never thought that she would turn out to be such a scummy piece of garbage.

I can't handle this. I'm physically not able to handle this. I haven't been able to keep my food down, and I drank for the first time in over a decade last night. Then I woke up and had to pour the rest down the drain because I'm about to spiral, and my boys don't need both mom and dad in rehab right now. I'm so close to losing my mind!

Down in the comments, OP adds this clarifying context. Two of my three sons are step-sons, but I adopted them. They never had a father due to their biological dad being an absolute piece of garbage. My biological son is the youngest and was born to a girlfriend who's not in the picture and doesn't want to be. My sons are 9, 12, and 14. My wife had two jobs when I met her, though they were both terrible jobs, and I'd been looking into finding her a better one.

As for her dealer, she was getting her drugs from her friend who's a woman, and a few of the men that she cheated with. Then, about two months after that, OP posted another update. First, OP explains that while his wife was in rehab, he sent her video proof that she was cheating and then he went to a lawyer to initiate divorce proceedings. He continues, I moved all of her belongings to our guest room, minus the pills that I found hidden

in her bedside table. I took pictures of those in their hiding spot and then flushed them. I also removed her from my bank account and credit cards. I spoke to my boys, explaining the situation without demonizing their mother to the best of my ability, and they seemed to understand that I have no intention of abandoning them, and blood or not, they're my sons. Then, she came home. The boys were, and still are, away at camp, a birthday present paid for by my mother. My wife was quiet. She had her eyes on the ground from the moment that I picked

her up at the facility all the way home. Once we got home, I silently led her to the guest room, and she did not take that well, crying before she could even take the first step inside. Throughout the next couple of weeks, I let her get settled in, and though I stayed carefully neutral, I knew she could tell something was coming. But I wanted to be as fair as possible and to try to let her get used to being out before I said anything. Because that was one thing that I myself hated about when I left rehab. Everything was flying at me so fast, I didn't have time to breathe.

Finally, I asked her to sit on the couch, and I began explaining to her that I don't believe that I can continue being married to her, and that I wanted a divorce. I should have known that her reaction was wrong. She didn't say anything at all, only nodded and cried quietly as I spoke. I explained that I didn't intend to hurt her, but I couldn't be married to her anymore, and that maybe both of us should focus on being the best parents that we can be apart. I told her I had no intentions of kicking her out, and that because of our prenup,

the divorce should be cut and dry, and she should be safe to begin looking for employment now, and once she has a job, I'll help her find an apartment. At first, she stood up and walked to her room. I let her because I thought that she must have been overwhelmed, and this talk could wait. She didn't come out at dinnertime, and I weighed whether I should leave her alone or not. Eventually, I decided to knock on the door and ask her if she was hungry. Long story short, she had smuggled pills into my house, somehow, or she had a stash that I was unaware of. And she had an overdose, and was dead for several minutes in the ambulance. She's now in a medically induced coma because the doctors aren't sure exactly

how much damage she's done to her brain from what they've said. I feel like an absolute monster, like I'm the scum of the earth. Like I should have just said nothing. Like I should have just dealt with it, just held it in and stayed. I am responsible for this and it kills me. I may not have the same love for her that I did, but I do feel so very sorry for everything that she's been through. It's killing me. I haven't told my sons yet and I'm debating waiting until they're back from camp so they can have a little more time without this on

their minds on top of everything else. Then five days later, OP posted another update. She's not awake yet. I explained the situation to our boys to the best of my ability and I asked if they wanted to see her. They all agreed to see her eventually, but the oldest only wanted to go to support his brothers. I'm concerned about the anger that he's building towards his mother, and I do intend to talk to him about it, but I don't want to tell him how to feel or tell him that his feelings are bad and wrong. I was already working on getting them into therapy, but I'm going to expedite that. Then, seven months later, OP posted another update. My wife is dead. I know that everyone said that she was manipulating me or trying to make me stay with her, but honestly, even if that was the case,

it didn't matter because the moment that she woke up, we both started crying and talking, and we didn't stop for days. She went back into rehab for a little while, came out, and we both did couples therapy and solo therapy for both of us. She seemed happy. She seemed better, and I had hoped that the crazy part was over, and we could just be happy again. She promised me that if anything happened, if there was anything she needed to talk to me about, she wouldn't hesitate. Everything was going well, and now, when I asked myself if she would ever slip, or if she had never stopped in the first place, the answer was no. There was nothing suspicious, except for the fact that she had an overdose at her

friend's house while I was working and she died on her couch. The friend, oh my god, the friend didn't even want to call an ambulance, but her boyfriend had to convince her to. I don't think either one of them were arrested that day, but I know from the paper that she was picked up a couple of months ago for selling. Everyone kept telling me to go to the cops, and frankly, maybe I should have, but frankly, with the way the police act, it wouldn't do much good. Since then, I've been drinking terribly. I took up smoking again too, something I quit before I got married because she hated the smell. I hate it now too. The smell, I mean. But the hand to mouth is nice.

My sons are in therapy, and they're taking the loss as well as they could be expected to. The younger two talk about her a lot, but the oldest is mostly angry. I'm thankful that he doesn't seem to want to say anything to his brothers about it, but I always let him tell me anything he's thinking, even when it breaks my heart. I know that maybe everyone here has an idea of who my wife was, but one thing that you could never deny was how much she loved our boys. They were her pride and joy, absolutely everything to her.

Valentine's Day is tomorrow. On the way home from work recently, I caught myself calculating flower prices before I remembered that I have no one to give them to unless I put them on our grave. I remembered getting pissed off at how expensive roses were getting and now that seems so silly. I just wanted to say if you have someone you love, please cherish them. Do something extra nice for that person you love tomorrow for my sake. Man, you guys, drugs are crazy. It's also ridiculous how one of the very first things in this entire story is how OP said, my wife's new friend is a bad influence. And then as the

story progresses, we see just how true that is. The wife's friend is a monster. Obviously, the wife deserves some blame with this as well because it was her decisions that made this happen, but still, if the friend were never in the wife's life, then the wife would probably be alive right now. Our next reddit post is from rslash true off my chest. I broke up with my fiance because of his family. I don't think that I can marry my fiance because of his family. I know people will say that I'm crazy, but my gut tells me that I'm right. This was supposed to be my first time meeting his parents.

He has two sisters, a mom and a dad. I was excited to meet my future in-laws, but it was shattered. Some things about them just didn't sit right with me. His mom is very possessive about him. Like, the first thing she said when she saw me was, so you're the lady that keeps my son busy. I know it sounds like a joke, but she said it in a condescending tone. Throughout the entire gathering, she was trying to avoid me. She would get irritated

whenever I got closer to my fiancé. She made a very mean comment when I asked her for a piece of pie that she made. She said that I'll never be able to fit in my dress if I eat any more of it. She deliberately made me sit far away from my fiancé so that she could sit beside him. I could tell that she didn't like me, but I tolerated that. But also, she was way too harsh on her oldest daughter. She kept making comments like, when are you getting married? Oh, you're still not over your ex. So Mia, the oldest sister, used to date this guy Ben until he dumped her to be with the younger sister, Jen. Jen isn't very nice either.

She was mean to Mia and kept bugging her to get a husband. Mia is 33. I don't think she needs to be in a rush. Jen also didn't like me because she made some snide remarks about my upbringing. I grew up in an abusive household. I had to struggle a lot. Whereas my fiance came from a well-to-do family. His dad didn't speak much.

He didn't say anything and just nodded. The only normal person there was Mia because she just kept to herself. But nonetheless, I did not feel very welcome by them. I just had this gut feeling that if I get married, this will be my whole life. I would always have to be in competition with his mother, but he's so nice and sweet. I've never felt so in love with anyone like I did with him. He brings me flowers, takes care of me, and treats me like a queen, but I don't like his family at all.

So I broke it off with him, and he was understandably sad. He asked for a reason. I just told him I didn't feel good about our relationship, that we're not compatible. There were tears, but I left. Now I'm sitting in my aunt's house writing this. One moment, I feel like calling him and telling him that I had cold feet, that we're perfect together. We earn a lot, we have cold feet, that we're perfect together. We earn a lot, we have similar hobbies, and we're sexually compatible.

But this one thing about him just bugs me a lot. I am heartbroken. I know I don't deserve to be because I was the one who called it off. Then, later the same day, OP posted an update. I just talked to his sister Mia on the phone. It was a surprise to me that she wanted to talk. She got the news of us breaking up and asked if we could talk on the phone. I agreed. I was desperate to hear any news about my ex-fiance. We talked for like an hour or so. It was mostly her telling me how her family was toxic. That I made the right decision because

her mom had a weird obsession with her baby boy. Also, she doesn't know why, but she understands that she's the black sheep of her family. She wasn't adopted, nor was she an affair child. She also mentioned that her mother was a bit of a racist because of where I came from. Overall, she just wanted to warn me. I asked her why my ex-fiancee doesn't treat her right. She said that my ex-fiancee has this delusion that they have a picture-perfect home but he doesn't realize how toxic his mother is. She did try to bring it up with him, but he just said that they're family and that family shouldn't hold grudges. Honestly, I feel bad for Mia. She said that she'll be going no contact with her family. She thought that she could salvage

their relationship and let them be a part of her life, but she decided that she doesn't want that. She also shared some personal information about her relationship status and future. Then, two weeks later, OP posted an update. I did it. I finally talked to my ex-fiance. I told him everything that I mentioned in the post, and also about my feelings for his family, especially how they treated Mia. Needless to say, he

was upset. He tried to convince me that this was all in my head, that I shouldn't throw away our relationship because of his family, that his family will accept me if I become a part of it. I tried to explain things from my own perspective, but he wasn't budging. Then the topic of Mia came up. He said that it was unfair that even his sister was abandoning the family. He mentioned Mia's big news and said that she doesn't want to be a part of their family. I told him that I already knew about it because I talked to Mia. That seemed to upset him even more. He's pissed that Mia shared her news to me before to his family. I got angry and told him this is exactly why I don't want to be a part of his family.

Her mother has made racist comments to me. I'm half Bengali. His mother treated me like an outsider and didn't make me feel welcome. His family is very toxic. I grew up in a toxic family. I don't want to die in one. Maybe someday he'll find a woman his mother approves of, but that woman is not me. We had a big fight.

He was obviously defending his family. He wasn't willing to listen to what I had to say. Overall, he was very dismissive. We ended our conversation on a very bad note, and I'm sad about it. Aside from the family drama, he's genuinely a good guy, but I don't think that I can handle his family. Because you don't just marry one person, you marry their entire family, but they didn't even bother to know me at all. So that's the update. Wow, OP, your instincts are spot on. Good call breaking off the engagement.

You just spared yourself a lifetime of torment. That was our slash best of Redditor updates. And if you like this content, be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day.