rSlash - r/Bestof My Wife HATES Our Child

Episode Date: November 30, 2022

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Welcome to our slash best of redditor updates, where OP finds out that his wife secretly hates their son. Our next red opposes from our slash relationship advice. I'm a 36 year old man, and I'm thinking that I should leave my wife, who's 36, because she openly resents our son, who's seven. Neither of us were sure about having kids. We were married for five years before finding out that she was pregnant. We were both nervous as hell, but in the end, she wanted to try having the baby, and I agreed. It was hard at first. Parenthood is, in general, but I love my son. He's wonderful, smart, energetic, and warms my heart. My wife, for the most part, was great with him. Occasionally, we would both get burned out

and find some time to have date nights or individual free time. Over a year ago, before lockdown, my wife started becoming very irritated over anything that our son would do. If he accidentally spilled a little apple juice on the counter, she would yell at him as if he had just destroyed a family heirloom.

It was something that happened every now and then, but we'd talk about it and she would yell at him as if he had just destroyed a family heirloom. It was something that happened every now and then, but we talk about it and she would apologize to him. The pandemic was really rough. We both kept our jobs, we were working from home and our son wasn't in school. At first, I thought her frustration came from being cooped up at home and not being able to go out. But my son's been going to school again for months now, and we're all back to going out. And things haven't improved. I finally had to sit down talk with my wife, because no matter what mood she's in,

she could be happy and smiling, but when my son comes in, her mood shifts. And I notice it more now. My wife told me that, for the longest time, she resented having our son. She said that motherhood isn't what she thought that it was going to be, and she missed it only being the two of us. She didn't expect her life to be this way with a child, and she regrets having him at all. It was a hard conversation to have, but one that we really needed to. I've talked to her about getting therapy, individual, couple, or both, whatever it takes,

but she refused and said that she doesn't need any help. We've tried going on more date nights, being a couple of she feels like we're not getting enough of that. I've had her spend some more one-on-one time with them, which she doesn't wanna do. But it doesn't matter, as soon as we get home and she's in our son's presence, she's more serious. I asked her once if she loves him, and she says that she does, she

just doesn't like him. That was painful. So, the thing that's pushing me to want to leave is that my son is starting to pick up on this. No 7-year-old kid should be asking why his mom is always mad at him. I love my wife, but I'm scared of him growing up with someone who doesn't like him. Is this really it? Is the next best thing to leave, or is there anything I can do to get her to understand that I can't have our son living like this? Then about one week later, O.P. posted an update. Well, it's been a hard few days, but it happened.

I didn't want it to happen, but it needed to. I took my son out of here. I tried talking with my wife about this a couple of days after posting this, but got nowhere. Even if therapy wasn't going to be the miracle that makes her want to mother our son, I told her that it wouldn't hurt to have someone to talk about her feelings. To get to the core of why she feels this way, and if maybe there's a way to work on this so that it wouldn't have a deep impact on how she is with him, she refused. I asked her if she ever thinks that it will get better.

She said no. When I told her that it's not going to work out between us because our son's well-being comes first, she begged me to stay. She made all these promises of not treating him negatively and putting on a face for him, but still she won't do therapy because she doesn't need help. Then, all of a sudden, she got angry. She told me to leave if I only want to be with my son. It was heartbreaking. My son and I ended up leaving because she didn't want to leave the apartment. He believes that we're staying at a hotel for now, but he does keep asking about her.

I'm trying my best to keep it together for him. My heart is still broken though. I hate that it had to end like this, but many of you were right, and deep down I knew this too. My son had to come first, and this was already starting to mess him up. I know this was the right choice. I feel like my life just came to a hard stop, and I'm still trying to get my bearings. My wife hasn't contacted me since we left. My family is aware of what's happening, so I'm glad

to have their support. My sister offered to have my son spend the weekend with them so that he could be with his cousins. Anyways, thanks for the support. Yeah, I don't really understand why people will have a kid and then not love them. Like, what's the point, man? And I definitely think OP made the right call. For this woman to emotionally abuse her child, and then beg OP to stay, it's like, are you nuts? Why would I stay with someone who's treating my kid like this?

Our next reddit post comes from R-slash Advice. My coworker recently lost his car. I don't know the details, probably broke down or something. Also, last weekend, he had to cancel his own wedding because his son died. He's in a really awful spot. I don't think this guy is one of those types who makes other people feel sorry in order to take advantage of them. Anyways, for the past several months, I've been kind of looking around for new cars, waiting for a deal, but not really needing one ASAP. When I heard that my coworker was ubering to and from work every day, I was like, oh my

god, I'll just go ahead and pull the trigger on a new car and give him my old car. I've decided that I'm going to do it, but I have no idea how to do it. I want to preserve his dignity, so I'm not going to make a big show of it. In fact, I really don't like the fact that our co-workers will figure it out once they see him driving my car. I don't feel like I'm doing it for self-aggrandizement. Everything just happened to line up to where I can really help this guy. I would have just donated it anyways, because I wouldn't have got much forward in a trade and

I don't want the hassle of selling it. So how should I approach this? What's the most graceful way that I can give this to him and refuse payment if he offers and not let it be weird? I mean, I know that I can only control my side of things, but if there are some things that I can say or do that would make it easier, I'd appreciate some insights. In my mind, I was thinking, what if I invited him into an empty office and just being like, look dude, I want you to have this. But then what? What if I offend him? What if he refuses to take it and continues to uber into work. What if he gets weird afterwards? My boyfriend said that I should offer to sell it to him for a super low price so it doesn't feel like charity, but I feel kind of tacky being like,

hey, I know that your life is kind of in ruins right now, but if you give me 500 bucks, I'll give you my car. Nah, that's not gonna work for me. I just wanna help my colleague. He's kind, warm and hardworking, and he's dealing with a bunch of sh** right now. A big, steaming sh** pile. So how do I even remotely handle this? Then OP posted an update. So I showed up to work, right as my coworker was walking across the parking lot to leave for the week. I ran up to him and I was like, hey, how you holding

up? He sighed heavily and said, I'm getting through it because I must get through it. I asked, have you come to a solution for your car problem? And he sighed again and said, yeah, the solution is that I must have one, but I can't afford another. At this point, we were about 20 yards away from the employee parking and we could see both of my cars, so I said, well, this weekend I bought that car, pointing at my new car. So now, I'd like you to have that one, pointing at my old car. He was absolutely speechless, so I kinda started talking fast and I was like, I couldn't find the title, it's in my closet somewhere, but I have all the necessary paperwork you need

to bring it to Iowa DOT to transfer it to your name. I'll pay for a replacement title if I can't find it, and it's overdue for an oil chain, so I'll get that done this weekend while you're out too. I'll leave the keys on my desk so you can have them if you get back after I leave on Friday. I tried to look in his eyes, but his mask was fogging his glasses. I continued. Yeah, they only offered me 98 bucks for the car, and I didn't think it was worth it,

and I didn't really want to house it was selling on online. Also, I don't have this space at home to keep it. So I thought to myself, why not let you have it? So here we are. My coworker began shaking. It's like 15 degrees outside, so I'm getting pretty cold at this point and I start hopping a little.

So would you take my car, please? I asked by way of concluding the offer and requesting some kind of feedback. Immediately, he grabbed me around the shoulders and pulled me in for a long, strong hug. He started openly weeping into my hair. He sang something to me, but my scarf is muffling his words. But I let him hang on until he decides to pull back. Finally, he removed his glasses, looked me in the eyes and said,

you've changed my life with this gift. I can't describe what you've given me. So of course, I started crying and we hugged again. Then he said that I must be freezing and I have to go into the office immediately, so I did. He sat out in the company truck for a while before finally leaving for the week, and I feel content that he didn't insist on haggling over money. Perhaps if he decides later to bring it up, I'll entertain what he has to say, but for

now, I'm pretty satisfied with how this turned out. Now I just have to find that damn title. I want to say thank you from the bottom of my heart to each and every one of you who read this and took the time to reply. As it turns out, I was totally overthinking how this was gonna go. Opie, this is a really sweet story, and you talking really fast because you were nervous and didn't know what to say was super cute. Down in the comments, we have a similar story from Tinder Lightning.

Several years ago, I was working cleaning houses, and was seriously legitimately scraping by. I was driving an old beater truck that was always breaking down. One of my house cleaning clients that I'd been working for for a year or so gave me a brand new Kia. They were independently wealthy. They had family money and they didn't need to work. And they just did it so casually and gracefully. It was one of the wildest things that's ever happened to me and it legitimately changed my life. I had never in my life had a reliable vehicle. It changed everything and I love that car so much.

There are some amazing, generous people out there. Our next reddit post comes from R-slash off my chest. My stepdaughter will be getting married on August 3rd. The wedding planning has consumed most of her and her mother's life for the past six months. I say her mother because we aren't married, though we've lived together for 10 years. My stepdaughter graduated last December from university. I paid for her to go to college, and even though it was a state school, it still ran $40,000. She doesn't have a job, and she's been living with us for the duration of her college career and since her graduation.

I also bought her a car to get back and forth from school when she finished high school. From time to time, her deadbeat father would pop into her life and she would fawn all over him. She does this, even though her father hasn't contributed a sin to her education or paid any child support, even though technically that's my girlfriend's fault because child support wasn't part of the settlement. Still, she loves him, and she wants him in her life. He stays long enough to break her heart by skipping town and breaking some promise that he made her. The wedding venue holds 250 people max. I gave them a list of 20 people that I wanted invited, you know, since I was paying for

everything. They told me that was no problem and they'd take care of it. So I let these people know that they'd be getting an invite and they should save the date. Saturday, I saw one of my friends from this list on the golf course and I asked if he was coming. He told me that he wasn't invited, he told me that he got an announcement but not an invitation. He had the announcement in the backseat of his car, along with probably six months of mail and showed it to me. Sure enough, it was just an announcement and my name was nowhere on it.

It had her dad's name and her mom's name, but not mine. This led to a pretty big fight with my girlfriend because I found out that none of my list of 20 made the cut for the final guest list because 250 people is very tight. I was pissed, but not a hell of a lot that I could do because the important people in my life had already been offended. My girlfriend said, if some people don't RSVP, then yes, you might be able to get a couple of people in. But in my opinion,

this is the ultimate slap in my face. So I was boiling on Saturday. Yesterday, we had a Sunday dinner with a future in-laws family and a surprise guest, the real dad. At this little dinner, my stepdaughter announced that her real dad was going to be able to make it to her wedding and that now he'd be able to give her away. This was greeted with a course of, oh how great. And how wonderful! I don't think that I've ever felt so angry and disrespected.

I was shaking! I took a few seconds to gather my composure, because honestly, I wasn't sure if I would cry, or start throwing punches, or both. Once I was sure I'd be able to speak, I got up from my chair and said I'd like to make a toast. I can't remember exactly what I said, but the gist of it was this. I'd like to make a toast. The sound of spoons against glasses rang in my ears. I said, it's been a great pleasure to be a part of this family for the past ten years. Ah, how sweet.

At this point in my life, I feel that I owe a debt of gratitude to the bride and the groom, because they've opened my eyes to something very important. Everyone smiling. They've shown me that my position in this family is not what I once thought that it was. Now a glimmer of confusion and shock begins to spread on the faces in the room. Though I once thought of myself as the patriarch are the godfather of this family, commanding great respect and sought out for help in times of need. It seems that, instead, I hold the position of an ATM, good for a stream of money, and not

much else. Since I've been replaced as host, both on the invitations and in the ceremony, I'm resigning my financial duties as host to my successor, the real dad. So cheers to the happy couple and the path they've chosen. I finished my drink. You all can let yourselves out. I don't know, is this selfish? I'm supposed to shell out 40 to 50 thousand dollars for a wedding that I can't invite anyone to? That I'm not even a part of? I am so done with this. I'm done with my stepdaughter, I'm done with my girlfriends. I transferred the money out of our joint account last night. My girlfriend, by the way, hasn't had a

real job since she moved in with me. This morning, I called all the vendors that I had written checks to for deposits to refund my money. At present, it looks like I'll lose around $1,500 for the venue, but the other vendors have been great about refunding. So if you want your real dad to be on the invitation, to give you a way and to sit at the head table, fine, your real dad can pay for everything too. And then OP post in an update. The immediate aftermath was a tantrum, and people sitting there mumbling while not actually saying anything to me, but to each other.

After much yelling with a girlfriend about me being selfish, I spent the night in my home office, and no one knocked on my door, not even once. Today's aftermath is kind of depressing for me. My girlfriend brought me her daughter's wedding planner to show how much work that I was ruining. I thumbed through it, found a page in the music section for father- daughter dances, and all the songs were catered to real dad's taste. So, at first, I thought that they were just being disrespectful, but now I feel like they never really cared at all. Especially since the menu included two ingredients and I'm allergic to, that

actually made me laugh. Either way, I'm glad that I'm done. I returned the planner and asked her when she and the bride could move out. Also, I never promised to pay for the wedding. I offered them the use of my home when they were sure that it was going to be small. But other than that, all I've heard is how it's the bride's family that should pay. So let it be the bride's family then. Hasin, not me. Then OP posted another update. My girlfriend and her daughter have moved out. They're moving in with the groom. It was very hard to not be petty with some

of the belongings they took with them, but it's done and I've switched out the locks and now it's time for a brew. If I find out what happens with their wedding, I'll let you know, but I can't guarantee that I'll put in an effort to find out. From what I've heard, they're trying to scale things back and get the groom's parents to help out. Also my girlfriend burned bridges with me when I found out that she tried to write herself a check on our joint account the day after the unpleasantness. By then, I'd already moved the money out of the account, so I guess that I'm more cynical than she is, but I could feel it coming. Okay, I don't have a great frame of reference here because when I got married,

I think the sum total of everyone who was at the wedding was like 30 to 40 people. If I had to invite 250 people to a wedding, if I had to invite 250 people to a wedding, I'd be pulling people off the street. I don't think I literally know 250 human beings. Even if I gave every single person I know, a plus one, I still don't think that I'd be at 250. So it completely blows my mind that the stepdaughter knows so many people that she couldn't squeeze in a mere 20 people out of 250 to accommodate her stepfather. 20 people is literally less than 10% of 250 people, so yeah that was definitely disrespectful. Also while this definitely sucks for OP, I've got to say man OP sounds like you're killing

it in life. You own a house that's nice enough to accommodate 250 people for a wedding. You support your wife who doesn't work, You support your wife who doesn't work, you support your daughter who doesn't work, and on top of that you apparently have a country club membership because you said that you were going golfing with your golfing buddies. So like G's OP, how much money do you make? Oh right, and on top of that he also has enough money to pay for a wedding and pay for a car and pay for college. Like, dang, OP, you're killing it! That was our Slash Best of Redditor updates, and if you like this content, be sure to follow

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