rSlash - r/Bestof My Wife is a Felon

Episode Date: June 16, 2025

0:00 Intro 0:09 Crimes 5:07 Student names 11:56 Have the space Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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wife commit? My wife came to me on Friday and asked if I had spoken to our daughter recently. I told her I hadn't but asked why she wanted to know. She said, I got a phone call from our daughter, and she's threatening to sue us for money, her clothes and the car. I asked my wife what money our daughter is thinking of suing us for, and my wife said that she moved $4,500 from my daughter's checking account into a trust account that

the daughter can't touch until she's 21. I asked my wife if my wife's name was on the account. She said, I was there when she opened it. Which, what the hell was she thinking? I told her that's identity theft! She said, No, she gave me the pin when we opened the account.

Okay, that makes no sense. I then checked my email, and my daughter says that my wife used a forged check to take all the money out of her account. The total was, indeed, $4,500. My daughter says that she has proof the check was forged. I'm thinking that, at minimum, my wife can be charged with identity theft, forgery, and fraud. Am I wrong in thinking that this would be a second class felony under Pennsylvania law

because of the amount of money involved? Then OP posted an update. Apparently, there were four checks issued to withdraw all the money. A local police department has attempted to contact my wife, but she didn't answer the call because she didn't recognize the number. My wife says that if my daughter files a suit, she'll file a counterclaim for emotional distress in the amount of $5,000. She says she has a therapist who's willing to testify as to the devastating emotional stress my daughter has caused her.

She also says that she'll hire an attorney while my daughter will be stuck with a free attorney who doesn't do anything. I've kept my daughter informed, and my daughter is unperturbed by my wife's threats. I've told my daughter that I'll speak to any authority and I will not lie on behalf of any party. I am aware of the fact that my wife needs professional help. Our pastor advised her to seek mental help. Her parents asked her to seek mental help. Her children asked her to seek mental help. I've asked her to seek mental help. She says she's seeing a therapist but will not provide me with the name and says that she's paying for it out of pocket. I can't force her to get mental help unless she's acutely homicidal or acutely suicidal. If I could go down the block to the courthouse at lunchtime

and get her put on a 72 hour hold for being a jerk, I'd do that. Another update. My wife seems shocked that the police would investigate this for free. My wife believes that police investigating a crime is a waste of taxpayer money. My wife now wants to go to family counseling. I told her that our daughter would not agree to that and she said, then she won't get her money. Then 13 days later, OP posted an update. The docket sheet has gone up on the Pennsylvania Unified Judicial System website. My wife has not yet been arrested. Third degree felony.

Access device issued to another who did not authorize use. Penalty is up to 7 years in prison and or 15k in fines. Also first degree misdemeanor, theft by unlawful taking, movable property. Penalty is up to 5 years in prison and a minimum fine of $1,500 up to $10,000. I'm sure there could have been more charges. Hopefully, they'll let her plead down to some lesser offense, slap her with a hefty fine, and make her pay restitution. Hopefully, she'll learn a lesson. Then, two years later, OP posted an update in someone else's thread. So in this update, OP is responding to another user on whatever topic they're talking about. First, you earn that scholarship money, not your mom.

Your mom is a controlling, well, it rhymes with ditch. I'm sorry you're going through this. Second, my wife did to our daughter almost the same thing that your mother did to you and for pretty much the same reason. Eventually, my wife was charged with a felony and a misdemeanor. I got to pay approximately $4,000 to hire a defense attorney. My daughter got her money back and asked the state to drop the charges, which my wife spun as a victory on her own part.

My wife's bad actions were a very serious factor in my decision to file for divorce last year. I can't have my wife trying to control my daughter's lives and expecting me to defend her when she's called out. I would have loved the update to include the wife suing the daughter for emotional distress. Can you imagine that court case? Your honor, I'm sad because she would let me steal money from her, so therefore I deserve to steal money from her. What? Our next reddit post comes from r slash teachers. What would you do?

19 students, 5 names. So I'm dealing with a disaster of a roster for an after school club. I have 19 students, all boys between the ages of 6 and 13, elementary to middle school. There are five different first names among them. I have seven Liams. Two of them have literally the same first, middle, and last name. I have five Noas. Three have the same middle name. Two have a last name that starts with the same letter. I have three Mateos. Two have the same last name and no middle name. And I have two Williams. One of which is a William Noah just for fun. I also have two Sams. Not Samuel, just Sam. The first day, I sat them all down and tried to figure out what we could call them to prevent

chaos. It started descending into chaos. Trying to save the afternoon, I told the boys that we could all have special club names. The boys were all for it, so I used a fantasy name generator and let them all pick out mad scientist names. They were thrilled. One of the Mateos especially,

because he gets called Big Mateo, and he's sensitive about being overweight. Except one of the Liams' moms, of course it's one of the Liams' who has the same first, middle, and last name, is Livid. She called the principal and wants his name to remain the same and for me to call all the boys by their actual names. Like, I don't even see how it's possible! Of the 19 kids, none of them except William really lend themselves to nicknames, and with so many repeats and last initials, it'd be like a jigsaw puzzle. Admins are with me on this

because the boys are all from different grades, so it really hasn't been an issue overall. But the one parent is trying to start a war over me whitewashing her kids' names. Liam is wha- what? Liam's white? What? I let her know that since the other boys were happy with her mad scientist names, he could be Dr. Liam. She wants me to scratch all the names or she's going to get the district involved.

Other parents don't give a hoot because it's after school care. I'm not a full-time teacher so I don't even know what the heck to do. Then OP posted an update. Buckle up buttercup because this is one wild ride. Tuesday went well. I used Dr. Liam Liam. I contacted the district who was like, you're an after-school contractor. Leave us alone. The mom is still being a turd, so I invited her to the club. I have two parent volunteers. On Wednesday, she came and sat in the back scowling the entire effing time. A couple of the younger boys were very nutty. I sat them in a corner on the beanbags, gave them a snack, and told them to take a minute. Turns out they were exhausted and both fell

asleep. A couple of older boys had some interpersonal issues to work out and they were off to another corner. One boy called his mom and begged me to let him study. Fine, whatever, the room has four corners. The class proceeds with about 11 students actually participating. Eventually, the boys who were dealing with whatever rejoined us, as well as the boy who was studying. Immediately after class, the mom pulled poor Dr. Liam Liam from the class, and three of my other students deregistered. This should have been a sign of things to come. Thursday, I came in and get called into the office. There's a lawyer, the mom, and then someone I didn't recognize.

They're from child protection. It's the stupid mom's friends, apparently. I'm not gonna pretend that I'm colorblind or somehow magically immune to noticing race. My students are mostly white. We also have white Hispanics and two Asians. The evil mom starts making accusations that I'm name calling the kids.

She didn't approve of the names Professor Calamity or Dr. Demon, and that I forced all the children of COLOR out while I only let the white kids participate. She has photos to quote, prove it. My sleepy boys were one Asian and one black Hispanic. The boys who were fighting was one dark black Hispanic and one tan Hispanic. The study-stressed boy was Asian. The rest of the boys are white passing Hispanic, white, or white passing mixed. Her son, Liam, was very subdued. I honestly hadn't realized the way this occurred. It did look bad from the photos, but in the end, all but the two

sleepyheads joined in again. The volunteer moms in the group had checked with home and both parents had said to let the boys sleep. What the hell am I supposed to do? Nobody in the room, except for the terrible mom, was really amused. She thought that she had us over a barrel, wasted the entire effing after school time to hash it out. I'm shaking and ready to quit on the spots. The principal smooths it out. The lawyer assures me we have nothing to worry about. Child protection was pretty annoyed because the evil mom seemed to make them think that she was exposing some kind of crazy situation. On fri- on friday I go in to find a reporter and a camera. I let them know that they had better not publish any footage because the mom didn't have permission to take the footage.

I got the principal involved who called the lawyer, and again, we wasted most of the time sorting this out. However, since this mom posted on all the town boards on neighborhoods and Facebook and whatever effing else she could find, things ended up working out and biting her in the butt. Three parents pulled their boys on Wednesday because they aligned with that mom. On Friday afternoon, after I got in, I discovered I have five girl besties from grade four who want to come in. And since the cap is 20 students, I'm really happy to have them. It's not the best balance, but one fourth is closer to my normal 1 third.

My head is still spinning and I don't think I could think up any more drama than what's already occurred. I'm looking forward to Monday with the new kids and a fresh slate. I'm gonna combine two phrases here. This is not a hill worth dying on and don't make a mountain out of a molehill. To a new phrase, this is not a molehill worth dying over. What the hell is wrong with this mom? And moreover, I feel really bad for Liam. When you're a teenage boy just trying to fit in, this is a terrible terrible parent to have, making giant county-wide issues over absolutely nothing. Maybe this is Dr. Liam Liam's mad scientist origin story. He wants to make a giant space laser that will eliminate all terrible Karens from the

world. People are calling him Liam Squared! This next post sounds very dull, I'll admit, but it has a mood spoiler and the mood spoiler is WTF, so I'm guessing it gets good at the end. Am I the butthole for not letting my co-workers stay at my place even though I have the space? So I'm a 23-year-old woman who lives alone in a small two-bedroom house. One room is mine, the other one is basically my everything room. My office,

my closet, my storage. Sometimes I just lay on the floor in there and stare at the ceiling when life sucks, lol. It is NOT a guest room. I've lived with horrible roommates before, so I worked really hard to be able to afford my own place and love having my space. It's literally my safe little bubble. Anyways, one of my co-workers, a 25-year-old woman, got into a huge fight with her roommates, and they kicked her out. She was venting at work, and I felt bad and was like, that sucks, OMG, and even sent her a few places to look at. I was trying to be helpful without inviting chaos into my life, you know? Later that night, she texts me saying, Hey, I was thinking maybe I could just crash with you for a few weeks and you live alone

and have the space. I literally got that sinking feeling in my chest. No, no, no, no. I'm not even close to her. We're cool at work, but we've never even hung out outside of lunch breaks and complaining about our boss. She doesn't know anything about me, and I don't know her like that. Why would she live in my house?

So I replied super politely, like, I totally get that you're going through it, but I really value my space, and I'm just not in a place where I can have someone stay with me. Like I was nice. I didn't ghost her, didn't ignore her, just said no. Next day, she's acting really weird. Then, another coworker told me she said that I let her be homeless when I have an entire room to myself. Like, girl, first of all, she's staying at her boyfriend's place. Second of all, I pay to live alone. That's the whole point. I don't want to feel tense or uncomfortable in my own space. I don't want to feel tense or uncomfortable in my own space.

I don't want to tiptoe around a person I barely know. And I definitely don't want to deal with just a few weeks turning into, I'm looking but nothing's coming through yet, for two months. Now people are acting like I'm the bad guy. Sorry for not letting a co-worker move into my apartment because she had a bad fight. I don't know. I feel bad, but like also no. Then the next day OP posted an update. She went to jail lol. I don't know what happened, but I feel horrible to say that I laughed. Well solves that issue. Also I have to highlight my favorite comment, and this is OP speaking, not rslash. Go up to the people that had something to say and tell them they're horrible for not

bailing her out. And rslash's favorite comment is this one. So when when? OP kept her space and the coworker got a place to stay. I love these happy endings. That was rslash best of redditor updates. And if you like this content, be sure to follow my podcast, because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day.