rSlash - r/Bestof My Wife is an Insane Stalker

Episode Date: August 20, 2024

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Our next Reddit post comes from r slash relationship advice. I'm a 36 year old man and my wife is. Our next reddit post comes from r slash relationship advice. I'm a 36 year old man and my wife is 33. My wife was sued and I'm feeling resentment towards her and I don't know how to move past this. As the title states, my wife was recently sued. She lost and we had to pay. This money is a significant amount for us. We didn't have much in savings or our emergency fund to begin with and both of those accounts are now empty. My current problem is trying to move past the resentment and anger that I'm feeling towards my wife. Until now, I've always felt like we were in a partnership in our marriage. But since I'm the breadwinner, I can't help but feel like I'm spending my money on something that isn't my fault. I've had no problems paying the mortgage and taking care of various financial burdens

that come with being a married homeowner. However, I've been the only one to put money aside in our savings and other accounts to prepare for an emergency, like a totaled car, someone loses their job, medical bills, or an act of God. Not a stupid lawsuit where I know that my wife is guilty. She has a part time job and doesn't make much money, but she pays for smaller things when she can, like groceries and random bills. But she does take care of a lot of cooking, cleaning and caring for our pets.

So what did my wife do? And for clarity, I had no idea this was going on while it was happening. She used LinkedIn to find her former ex-best friend. She created a realistic looking fake LinkedIn profile with a vague occupation of recruiter. My wife sent this ex-best friend, Laura, a few messages pretending to be a recruiter in her line of work. Laura finally responded, thanking the recruiter was real. My wife wanted to get Laura's phone number, but Laura gave her a personal email address instead. My wife created a second fake LinkedIn profile

and started to send messages to people with similar titles as Laura at her company. These messages said derogatory things about Laura. A mixture of truthful embarrassing things and also fabricated BS to make Laura look bad. Her manager got one of these messages that claimed that Laura was a heavy drug user. Laura's manager talked to her about these messages because he felt like the messages were bizarre and seemed like someone was trying to troll or harass Laura. Well, Laura's team had her back and helped her save those messages. Not only that, but Laura requested that she be drug tested anyway to further provide evidence that she was clean. My wife didn't know this at the time,

but Laura was pregnant. Several of her co-workers, including her manager, testified on Laura's behalf. Using the personal email address that my wife got from the fake recruiter profile, my wife was also able to find a few social media platforms that Laura was on and was able to figure out her husband's name. She did some more internet sleuthing and found Laura's husband on Facebook. Laura's husband didn't have much of a Facebook profile, but you could see his business email address on it. My wife sent Laura's husband an email claiming that Laura was cheating on him. The husband confronted Laura about this email and Laura encouraged him to keep responding to this mystery person and to save the messages

and also to start asking specific questions about this supposed affair. My wife thought that she was being clever and ended up telling the husband that Laura was cheating on him during the work week. She even gave him specific dates. What she didn't realize was that Laura had something turned on in Google Maps where it keeps a year's worth of historical GPS data. Some of the dates my wife gave him also happened to be days where they both worked from home together. She also ended up giving him dates during a time they were both on vacation together. Laura had her husband keep responding as much as possible to my wife and to save all correspondence. My wife was also able to find out when and where the baby shower was going to be. One of Laura's friends had created a public

registry for her and had the invitation online. My wife decided to show up unannounced. The baby shower took place in a semi-public place. They had rented out an area connected to a public business. My wife didn't make herself known immediately. Instead, she looked for patrons who were entering and exiting the rented out room. She was able to get the attention of a few guests that had never met her before, and she tried to gossip about Laura. My wife was telling people that Laura didn't actually know who the father was, among other things.

And by the way, Laura's husband was at the event as well. Well, word got back around to Laura who spotted my wife and apparently immediately put together all the pieces of what happened. All these events I've mentioned so far took place over a year or so. My wife didn't think to hide her IP address, so it was pretty easy for Laura to figure out that all these messages came from the same IP address, ours. Many of Laura's friends and family testified on her behalf. Laura had everyone save as much digital evidence as possible, and it was a lot. Laura and her husband hired a lawyer and decided

to sue my wife. They had ample evidence against her. All these saved messages, close friends, and even her manager spoke on her behalf. Laura proved that she went to see a therapist once all this harassment started because she was depressed and anxious. She proved that she and her husband went to counseling after the accusations of her cheating. She even went above and beyond and had even more drug tests to show that she was clean and my wife's accusations were 100% false. She even had a paternity test done to show that my wife was, again, wrong and chose to lie. Honestly, I felt awful for Laura. She cried

a lot. You could tell how much emotional stress she had gone through. She said that being pregnant during the majority of this was absolutely horrific and was worried the stress and anxiety would somehow hurt her baby. She was pained that her one and only baby shower was ruined by my wife and that was something that could never be truly repaid or made up for. And that my wife's harassment continued even after Laura gave birth and was trying to manage a newborn child. My wife has never done anything this crazy before.

I knew that she could be a little petty and jealous of others, especially people she used to be friends with in the past. But it was only talk, no action. We've had a very happy marriage otherwise. We rarely fight, we have a lot in common, and we have a lot of fun together. But she really messed up this time. I don't know how to move forward. I know someone is going to suggest therapy, but I really want to start building up an emergency fund again. We're pretty screwed financially for a while.

Then three months later, OP posted an update. And it's not exactly an update so much as it is like a Q&A where OP answers a bunch of questions from people in the previous thread. How did she avoid jail? OP responds, I only mentioned the civil case since I felt that it was most appropriate to write about because I was originally angry about our financial situation. There was also a criminal case.

Our lawyer thought that she would originally only have to go to jail for three months. However, we were able to get her punishment to be community service instead. She has a lot of community service hours to fill within a year. She will also be getting visits from a parole officer. Laura and her husband did file a restraining order against her. I honestly can't blame them for that. It helped that my wife had a clean record and has family that works in law enforcement. Why did she do this to Laura? OP responds, that's a good question. I asked her this question multiple times over the past several months to try to understand

what this woman did to my wife. My wife told me that Laura deserved every horrible thing that my wife did to her. That Laura was a bad person, a narcissist, a liar, and just overall a scumbag. But she never really gave specific examples. I've been pressing her for more info, and when she told me specifics, it made me feel sick to my stomach. Not because of what Laura did, but because of how far my wife decided to go due to some petty things that happened in their friendship.

Their friendship ended about 8 or 9 years ago, and it was over a man that they both briefly dated. My wife dated this guy Matt for a few months. Then she broke up with him because she thought that Matt had feelings for Laura. Laura said that she didn't want to date Matt because he had dated my wife. My wife decided to test her friend Laura's loyalty and told Laura that she had her blessing to date Matt. Laura and Matt ended up dating for a few months. My wife stuck around while they were dating and once they broke up, my wife told Laura that she had failed a loyalty test. They fought and ultimately, it was Laura who decided to end the friendship.

And to be clear, Laura's current husband is not Matt. Second, I was able to get some information about what inspired her to do this since their friendship ended so long ago. My wife said that she happened to see Laura at a restaurant about two years ago, and it looked like Laura had lost a lot of weight and was fit. My wife and I are both fairly overweight, and apparently Laura used to be overweight too. My wife admitted that she felt

angry that Laura had lost a lot of weight while she had never been able to. My wife was also insulting Laura, saying that Laura doesn't make a pretty thin person and that her new muscular body was too masculine. She also insulted Laura's husband's looks and physique as well. I saw both Laura and her husband in person on multiple occasions. They both looked like normal, attractive people who obviously work out. I could also tell that my wife was irritated when she saw Laura at the courthouse for the first time. You could barely tell that Laura even had a baby.

My wife admitted that she just wanted to do some snooping to try to find that Laura wasn't doing well in life, but she found the opposite and was jealous of Laura's success. She first found out both her job titles and their estimated salaries by using something called Glassdoor. And if that's accurate, then both Laura and her husband make really good money. She also saw a photo on Facebook of Laura and her husband standing in front of what appeared to be their very beautiful and large home. She said that she was angry because she knew that Laura wasn't deserving of any of this. She proceeded to insult Laura about how she's not that smart, not pretty, not responsible. And she claimed that all Laura did through college was do drugs, drink, and screw anything that had a dong, skip class, and failed a lot.

My wife said that she's the type who would cheat on her husband, that she's manipulative and is always up to something. Both Laura and her husband seemed very sad and exhausted throughout the whole ordeal. I never picked up anything sinister from Laura at all. I felt absolutely awful for her. Does she feel remorseful? OP responds, I want to say yeah she does. She's been really depressed since

this was all finalized. However, I can't help but think that she's sad only because she got caught. She's still angry at Laura for escalating to the point of a criminal and civil case. She feels that Laura overreacted. My wife believes every horrible thing that she said about Laura. She's convinced that Laura is some kind of alcoholic slash drug addict who cheats on her husband and is the type to lie and cheat her way to the top of her career. And yet, somehow, Laura is able to hide all this from everyone in her life. My wife felt like she was trying to EXPOSE Laura for the monster that she is. She feels that Laura pressing charges and suing her is additional proof that Laura

is vindictive. Yo, man, you guys, I'm sorry, I gotta stop. This woman is out of her mind. She's absolutely loony tunes crazy. Every sentence I read about her makes her worse and worse and worse. Alright, are you going to get divorced? OP responds, the thought has crossed my mind, but we've been together for so long and I still love her despite this disgusting thing she's done. I can't see my life without her, but I know that if she doesn't improve or learn a lesson from this mess, then I can't be with her anymore. A lot of people have mentioned that if she can do this type of thing to an ex-friend, then she can do the same thing to an ex-husband. This has me worried. I'd like to believe that she wouldn't go nuclear on me if we did file for divorce. I'll be taking precautions in case I have to defend myself in the future.

People ask about her job and OP says that she's a licensed masseuse. Then people ask about therapy and yeah, OP is considering therapy with her. He writes, I'm not ready to call my wife a psychopath, as many commenters did in the last post. I think she just got carried away and thought that she was trying to expose someone that she really believed was a bad person. I'm heavily leaning towards that she had some sort of mental breakdown and focused all of her energy on this one woman and her life. I'm not going to give up on my wife yet. It's very possible that she has some underlying mental illness that could very well

be treated with therapy or meds. Here's the big one I was hoping someone would ask this. How much money was she sued for? OP writes, I don't want to give specific numbers, but it'll take four to five years to get back to where we were prior to this happening. If my wife takes on full-time work after she's done with community service and hands over the majority of her paycheck, it might take less than four years. Alright, let's do math. Hold on. The median salary in the US is $48k. So let's assume that if OP's wife works part-time, she makes half of that and let's add $24k to that to get $72k a year. Let's assume that probably 75% of that goes towards expenses, you know, mortgage, taxes, groceries, all that, which leaves them with maybe 18k. That's probably

high. I think I'm overestimating here. This is not great math. So if we multiply 18k by four years, then I'm guessing that OP got sued for about $75,000, give or take. That's pretty clumsy math. I don't know how accurate this is, but this is, you know, just kind of a shot in the dark. If I'm right though, that is a ton of money. Ah, well, I'm honestly amazed that OP is deciding to stick with her. It does, I will admit,

it does sound like she's a relatively normal person who does have some kind of underlying mental health issue. I think most people would have cut and run in that situation and I wouldn't necessarily blame them for that. I'm just personally kind of blown away that OP is sticking with it because this is a red flag that personally I don't know if I could overlook. Also down in the comments we have this bonker story from Dorothy Zbornak. When I worked in family law, I once had this client who called us because her soon to be ex-husband was sexually abusing their daughters. She said that she was having trouble getting any kind of assistance because she lived in a small town where all the lawyers and judges and cops

all knew each other and her ex was friendly with them. We came in guns blazing, filing motions and demanding supervised visitation and trying to get all the info we could on why there was no pending criminal case. Then the story started to unravel bit by bit. Things weren't adding up. The other attorneys told me my client was lying and had proof of the lies that she told. And eventually what we figured out was that my client was so completely convinced that her daughters were being sexually abused by their father that she sexually abused them herself

just to frame him for it. OP's wife is like my ex-client, so focused on who she thinks the monster is that she becomes the monster herself. Then people are asking this poster how that case turned out and OP writes, I believe their father ended up with sole parental rights, but honestly I don't know. We got out of that case fairly quickly. Not because my former client was a monster though, it was because she ran out of money. My former boss was a different kind of monster.

That job nearly broke me. That was our slash best of redditor updates and if you liked this content be sure to follow That job nearly broke me.