rSlash - r/Bestof My Wife is Poisoning Our Kids with Turpentine

Episode Date: October 29, 2023

0:00 Intro 0:10 Co parents 8:20 Turpentine 13:20 Top comment 14:31 Firsts Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Visit SWISH.LA.ca for contest details, while supplies last. Welcome to our slash best of redditor updates, where OP finds out that his wife is doing butt stuff with another man Our next reddit post comes from our slash relationship advice. I'm a 37 year old man And I told my cheating ex-wife know when she asked for a better co-parenting relationship for our daughter who's 15 We haven't spoken to each other in six years my ex-wife cheated on me six years ago when I discovered her in a four-month affair with a married man. We share a 15-year-old daughter together, and we co-parent exclusively through my sisters or through email. I found out because the affair partner's wife sent me all the pictures and videos they took cheating on us on his phone. Some of the dealbreakers for me was she did a f*** and f***als with the affair partner, but flat out refused to do those facts with me,

citing that they were disgusting, and against her integrity as a woman. She literally told me, my body, my rules. Before presenting her with the evidence I had, I gave her a chance to come clean. However, she gaslighted me. She even swore on our daughter's life. I told her that if you have any integrity or respect for me at all, then you would tell me the truth right now. She held firm that I was crazy and making wild accusations with no facts, so I presented the facts. When confronted with the evidence, she broke down, looked me in my face, and said

that she's a piece of sh**t. She said that she knew her betrayal was beyond disrespectful, and ultimately something that I would never forget. I told her going forward under no circumstances except for health, safety, and the life or death of our daughter should she ever contact me, and we divorce soon after? Fast forward six years later. Last month, my daughter asked me if I would attend a dinner that she was cooking to prepare for her baking-slash-cooking competition. I of course agreed, but the kicker was her mother-slash-my-x-wife would also be there. My daughter knows the reason why we divorced and she accepts my no-contact with her mother.

Mind you, I haven't spoken to my ex-wife in close to six years. Also, my ex-inlaws and my sisters were also going to be attending the dinner. My daughter's food was delicious and everything went smoothly. One week after that dinner, I received a phone call from my ex-wife that I obviously answered because I thought that something was wrong with our daughter. Nothing was wrong with our daughter, but my ex-wife wanted to sincerely apologize for her actions in the past and the damage she did to break up our family. She said that our daughter almost had a breakdown with fear of her asking me to be in the same

place as her and that our current dynamic is not healthy. She wanted to know if there was a way to healthily coexist for future events with our daughter. I didn't interrupt my ex-wife and I let her finish what she had to say. When nice, Opie! When she finished talking, I responded by saying, no, and hung up. Here's where I need advice. My sister told me that my ex-wife is truly ashamed and sorry for breaking up the family, and she just wants a healthy environment for our daughter. My sister tells me to move on and to think about our daughter's mental health. I reminded my sister that I'm less valued to my daughter if I'm unhappy, and my ex-wife does not make me happy.

So Reddit, should I forgive my ex-wife and move on so I can build a better co-parenting relationship with my wife for my daughter's sake? Then, two days later, OP posts in an update. I spoke to my daughter yesterday and what she had to say to me was an eye-opener. She told me that she knows that I love her and I would do anything for her, so she doesn't want to abuse my love for her by making me do things that I normally wouldn't do. She says that her mom is struggling with sadness sometimes and tells her all the time that your father is never going to move past hating me which makes it hard for everyone else

to stop judging me for my past as well. Apparently my ex-wife has been venting her grievances with our daughter because she has so few friends. My daughter also explains that she misses our family being together if she's being honest, but she understands that me and my mother love her. She then asks me about forgiveness and also un-forgiveness, things that people can't be forgiven for. I told her that, ultimately, it's a standard that you have to set for yourself.

I explained my beliefs, and I also said that her mother is someone whose actions I cannot unassociate with her. I said that it doesn't mean that she's a bad mom, it just means that she's someone I can't be around. As a result, me and her relationship can never be the same. I then told her that just because someone says they're sorry, it doesn't mean that everything's okay. Unfortunately, some actions have consequences, and in her mother's case, her actions are part of who she is as a person. My daughter then asked me if I've ever forgiven someone who's hurt me before, and I said yeah, I've forgiven lots of people.

Forgiveness is a very important quality to have as a person. Ultimately, we had a very good conversation last night, and I said that me and her mom will always be there for her when she has big life events. I'll be talking to my ex-wife soon about her comments to our daughter. Then, 10 months later, OP posted an update. So after my last post, I decided to schedule an appointment with two separate therapists who specialize in marriage and family counseling after divorce. I saw these two therapists over the course of five months.

I did five sessions with each therapist, one woman and one male. During these sessions, I went over my issues that I dealt with my ex-wife and the current dynamics that we have in place now. I showed both therapists my Reddit posts and I wanted to truly non-biased opinions from two professionals of the opposite sex. The advice they both gave me provided the contrast I needed to make necessary changes in my life. The first thing I did was invite my ex-wife to join me in three planned therapy consultations,

which I would pay for. The goals were simple. First, create an avenue for my ex-wife to start speaking with a professional instead of our daughter about our issues. Second, to give her closure, not forgiveness, but an opportunity for me to give her any answers that she might need to recover and become a better mother and a person to our shared child. Last, build and commit to a plan that we would follow on how we would deal with parenting our daughter and behave during shared life events. She accepted my offer.

After this, OP goes on to explain their first session, which is pretty dry and boring to be honest, but there is one very interesting paragraph. My ex-wife said that she knows our daughter doesn't want to be like her, because our daughter has asked her many times. Besides cheating on dad, what's the real reason why he'll never forgive you? My daughter said, people cheating get divorced all the time and they're still friends. However, dad truly thinks that you're a bad person, but a good mom. So it turns out that for years, my ex-wife thought that I was poisoning our daughter against

her, but she quickly realized that that was just her own guilt eating her away. Then OP goes on to describe session number two, which again is pretty long and dry, but the gist of it is that the x-wife asked a lot of questions and OP answered them honestly, and brutally, and OP clarifies that there's nothing she can ever do to ever get an apology, but for some reason she wants to keep trying, and OP says, okay, you can keep trying if you want to. Then OP goes on to describe session number three and I'll just read the relevant parts. Overall, it's been three months since our last session and I believe that these sessions were helpful. Now, my daughter can go back to being a 16-year-old teenager worrying about boys, clothes, and social status,

which I'm perfectly happy to deal with. As for my ex-wife, that's a whole nother thread. OPI, I am 100 million percent on your side, and I agree with your daughter's assessment of your mom. She's a cheating, lying manipulator who then dumps all of her emotional baggage onto her daughter to, I guess, manipulate her into guilt-tripping you so you can get back together, what an absolute terrible person. Opie, you have way more patience than I do, because I don't know if I would have had the patience to sit through three therapy sessions with a woman like that. Our next

reddit post comes from our slash relationship advice. I just found out that my ex-wife has been beating my kids turpentine. I found this out like I do most things about life with their mother through my kids because communication has been pretty much nonexistent between my ex and I since we split up six years ago. I have two kids, a seven-year-old boy and a five-year-old girl. Before anyone jumps to conclusions, no, I don't ever press my kids for information. I've worked very hard to establish an uninhibited, open, no topic as off-limits type of relationship with my kids.

Even though I've only got them every other weekend, I want them to feel comfortable enough to fully express themselves and speak their mind freely around me. This has led to several discoveries about certain aspects of their life that their mother has asked them not to reveal to me, something I am very much against. I don't believe that any child should have to hold secrets between their parents. It isn't their responsibility, and it's something I would never ask of them. That being said, my kids have come out with nuggets of wisdom such as, You shouldn't be drinking tap water because the government puts chemicals in there that

makes us docile and obedient. Santa isn't real, but Jesus is, and the Bible is 100% fact. And most recently, the government says turpentine is poisonous, but it's actually good for you. What the hell do I even do here? If I speak to my ex about this, or even let it slip that I know that it's going on. She isn't going to have an honest conversation about it with me, and I fear that she'll just press the kids even harder to keep things from me. I don't want their heads filled with this rubbish, but I feel so powerless to stop this.

All I can try to do is teach them to think critically, but that's only going to be so effective when they're getting told all this nonsense is fact. Then, O.P posts on an update. I spoke to my kids about it and I recorded the conversation to ensure that there was no confusion about what was being said. They said that they were being fed a spoonful of turpentine every day by their grandmother for the past four weeks while they were away on holidays.

But there is zero chance that my ex-wife isn't aware that this is happening. And they are definitely being fed Turpentine. According to my boy, he read the bottle and it says 100% pure gum Turpentine. The distilled stuff, he said. They- oh my god! They even started singing that Mary Poppins song, a spoonful of sugar helps the Turpentine go down. I feel like I'm in an alternate timeline. All right, there is an update, but I gotta take a quick break.

Do people drink turpentine? I've never been heard of this before. Okay, do not. Well, the immediate result is, do not take turpentine oil by mouth. Turpentine oil is likely unsafe when taken by mouth. Okay, I kinda guessed that. It can cause headaches, sleeplessness, coughing,

bleeding in the lungs, vomiting, kidney damage, brain damage, coma, and death. Oh my God. Hold on, is this, hold on. Turpentine is good for you? Okay, I looked around trying to figure out why people are drinking it. And from when I can gather, a couple of random people online say that it's safe and coincidentally,

they're also selling the oil. So I guess that's where it started, but I can't really find too much information on it. Alright, then the next day, OP posted on our slash legal advice and our slash Australia legal advice asking for, you know, what his options are, but it's basically just OP reposting the same story so I'm not going to read it. Okay, the day after that, OP post an update. My kids have been medically assessed. They've had blood work done, testing for liver and kidney function, as well as any other abnormalities, and they've undergone some minor testing. Thankfully, everything has come back clear clear and they seem to be happy and in good health. Apart from my daughter still

being a little upset about being jabbed with needles, there were, however, some very concerning statements made by my kids to the doctors who screened them, both with and without any family present. Everything they said has been transcribed and documented in their discharge papers. Child protective services has been informed of the situation. The situation has been reported to the police and a medical release statement has been filed with them. The cops told me they would remain in contact with CPS and wait for their lead. The kids are legally staying within the care of myself and my family until further notice from child services. At this point in time, I've had no contact with my ex since all this came about. I have the information of a great family lawyer whom I'm going to contact in the very near future

to discuss my steps moving forward, and about making a claim for primary custodial care. My family fully supports this decision, and we're all still incredibly shocked about this whole scenario. I'm on the verge of having an absolute meltdown, but things actually seem okay for now. My kids are safe. I couldn't be more grateful for how supportive my family and friends have been over the last couple of days. Yo, what the top comment is this comment? Sipa Zianna says, I'm so happy for OPs kids.

My mom, who's abusive and no longer in my life, is this type of person. A year or two ago, I had to beg her in tears to not drink turpentine because I was so terrified for her. I'm very glad to be far away from this crazy garbage

and I'm very, very glad that OP's kids were some of the lucky ones who CPS actually pulled from these kinds of homes. Yo, is this a thing? I have literally never heard of this in my life, and I've been a lot of time online. As a Virginia boy, I have an interesting fact about Turpentine. The Blue Ridge Mountains, if you've never seen them in person, they get bluer the farther you are away from them, and the reason for that is because the local trees emit this chemical into the air that scatters blue light. Therefore, the farther you are away from the mountain, the more of these molecules are

in the air, thus the mountains appear bluer and bluer. And from these exact same trees, people harvest the chemicals that you use to make turpentine. So, if you've ever wondered why the bl Ridge Mountains are blue, it's because the air is filled with paint thinner. Our next reddit post comes from R-slash-2 Hot Takes. Will I be the butthole to not tell the parents something vital their baby did? I'm a 23 year old woman, and I'm a nanny who accidentally experienced something with the baby that I watch, a three month old, and I'm torn whether to tell the parents or not.

A little backstory, this baby boy is the youngest and last child the parents are going to have. The mom had him by C-section, and since she didn't want to have any more kids, she got her tubes completely removed during the procedure. He was a surprise baby, as she was planning on getting her tubes removed over a year ago, but got pregnant with him. I stay home at their house with a baby all day while the older kids are at school and the parents aren't work. During tummy time with him on his playmat, he rolled over for the first time.

I've been having my phone close by the past week in case he did it so that I could send it to the parents if he happens to do it. But I left my phone on the couch and it happened so fast there was no way I could have grabbed it and taken a video in time. I picked him up and got a little emotional. I was so happy to be there to experience one of his firsts, but I was also sad. Then I became torn. I thought that maybe I should tell his parents.

These are the last firsts that these parents will get to experience since they're not going to have any more kids. If I don't tell them, then when he does it in front of them, they get to experience his firsts. The only reason I'm torn is because every day the mom comes home, she always talks about how she thinks that he's going to roll over any day now. And I want so badly to tell her, but I don't want them to realize they missed out on something they'll never get to experience again, so will I be the butthole?

Then no less than a couple hours later, OP posted an update. I ended up not telling mom and dad, and instead I said, hey, I think the baby is getting really close to rolling over. The mom said that he can get on his side, but not all the way, and that she would be watching him like a hawk during tummy time after I left. About an hour ago, she messaged me saying, he rolled over, and how happy she was that he was making his milestones even though he was premature. Both mom and dad were home and got to see the little man roll over. I knew that I made the right call. I hope this update brings a little happiness, and thank you all again for the advice.

Opie, that's a sweet story, but let's just hope the parents don't like to watch Reddit videos on YouTube, otherwise they're going to discover your dark secret. That was our slash best of Reddit updates, and if you liked this content, be sure to follow my podcast, because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day. podcast because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day.