rSlash - r/Bestof My Wife Wants a "Hall Pass" to Cheat

Episode Date: August 21, 2023

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Product availability may vary by region. See you after details. Welcome to our slash best of editor updates, where a woman destroys a 20-year marriage by cheating. Our next reddit post is from R-slash off my chest. I met a loss as to what to do with my wife's request. I'm a 54-year-old man and my wife is 51. My wife and I have been married since 2001

and together since 1999. She's the most intelligent, thoughtful, caring, loyal person I know, and I've always thought of myself as fortunate to have met and married her. Even today, she's beautiful, and men have told her this throughout our marriage. She has always shot them down. Earlier this year, she was diagnosed with uterine cancer, stage 1, and had a full hysterectomy. I was never concerned about the cancer. It was diagnosed early, dealt with quickly, and she made a full recovery. I took time off work to look after her after the surgery, and all seemed well.

There were some to be expected emotional instances on her part, and although I'm not an emotional person, we dealt with them together. After she recovered, she was insistent that we start living life to the fullest and took a 10-day trip to Europe followed by a trip to Belize. We also have a trip to the UK and Spain and Portugal later this year. I'm fine with these things, building memories and crossing bucket list adventures off of her list. I also understand that these are a result of feeling fragile on her part. She also took up yoga, swimming, and healthy cooking classes. I was fully on board until last week. Last week, she came home from work and told me that she wanted a hall pass. A one-time opportunity for her to passionately hug someone else besides me.

She said that since her cancer diagnosis, her outlook on life has changed, and she doesn't want to be handcuffed from doing things that she wants to do. She explained that there's a guy at her work that she's always had some attraction to. He's leaving the company, and she'll never see him again. So this is the perfect opportunity to sleep with someone else. She said that I could say no, of course, but I would be mad and disappointed at you for an indeterminate amount of time, and it would be confirmation of your male toxicity and insecurity.

I don't consider myself to be toxic, and if not wanting your wife of 20 plus years to passionately hug someone else's insecure, then I guess I'm insecure. I told her that I appreciated her talking to me about this, but approval via coercion is not approval. I also said that I do not appreciate her language in describing my as of yet unknown reaction to this very large issue that could affect the rest of our marriage and life. In the morning, she basically said that she was sorry for putting such a large decision solely on my shoulders, and to help, she was taking that decision away from me.

She booked a hotel near where her co-workers were having a party and send off for this guy and she would spend the night there with him and hope that I would be here when she got back. That she would answer any questions I had about the night after it happened but not before. She wouldn't tell me who he is or anything about him because you know me too well and you would just dwell and obsess over him. And that would make it too real for you, which is pretty accurate. Her point of view is that the less I know the better, which contradicts the offer to tell me anything I want to know after it happened. I think she knows that I won't want to know or ask anything,

or she simply won't tell me. Part of me thinks that at least she's been honest with me and she's been through a lot since finding out that she had cancer so maybe I should just let it happen. I certainly have no concept of what she went through so I can't dismiss how this affected her mental state and outlook on life. Part of me wants to put my foot down and say that this isn't going to happen and deal with those consequences when they happen. Her best friend called me callous for even suggesting that I wouldn't let it happen because I have no idea what she went through. Yo guys, what the f*** am I reading right now?

I find it hard to believe that she's okay with the possibility of throwing away 20 years of marriage over some guy that she has no relationship with outside of work and that I should just call her bluff. Maybe she also thinks that I won't throw away the marriage because of one encounter. I just don't know what to do. I empathize with her and then an instant later I'm angry with her. Part of me wants to know who this guy is. What does he look like and what does he have that's so enthralling for her?

Is he just a safe option? Is he married? Does his wife know? Would I be a callous butthole for saying no? What can I do besides walking away? Then four days later OPPO sent an update. I was hoping that my opposition to her plans would give her pause, but unfortunately that didn't happen. I gave her a hard no and I told her that I was positive how I would feel about her if she went ahead with it. I was once again met with, this is for me, it'll be one time, which I can say to help you deal with it, you'll get over it.

We were meant to be regardless of the situation. She left Saturday, ostensibly to meet her co-workers, but in reality to screw the guy. I asked her to text me when she was leaving for the bar, and when she did, I asked her if she was really going to go through with this. She responded, I'm not answering any more questions tonight, I'll see you tomorrow. Then I blocked my wife. Then I did something either stupid or brilliant. I went to the bar where they

get together was happening. Well, not the bar, but a transit bench across the street. I waited for a long time. It was running through my mind deleting up to this event that I need to know who this guy was, maybe to compare myself against him. To see what he had that I didn't. It was driving me crazy not knowing who he was and what was so special about him that she would ruin my marriage for him. After what seemed like an eternity, a woman that I recognized for my wife's office left the bar and got in a cab. Soon other people started filing out and a whole group came out and people were hugging a man and shaking his hand. I assumed that I had my guy. I didn't

see my wife and I had a brief thought that maybe she called it off. I assumed that I had my guy. I didn't see my wife, and I had a brief thought that maybe she called it off. I unblocked her and there were no messages from her. Everyone said their goodbyes and left. The dude was standing outside for a few minutes, and then my wife came out. She looked around, took his hand, and started walking away together. Of all the emotions I went through, trepidation, sadness, anger, it was disgust that really encapsulated that event for me. This guy was short, fat, and bald,

all things that I can't compete with. Ultimately, I felt like a pervert for watching from a distance. I followed until they got to the hotel and then turned around and went home. I woke up Sunday morning and put a lock on the master bedroom door. I moved her things to the spare room and left a note asking her to find other accommodations as quickly as possible.

I visited another friend who's a lawyer and he gave me some sage advice and a couple of recommendations for divorce attorneys and made the introductions. My wife has been calling me numerous times since about 11 a.m. After a call has been blocked, the calls go to voicemail. I listened to the first couple of voicemails, but felt nothing but some satisfaction when she couldn't get through to me and she was obviously becoming concerned. I didn't want to go home, but I left in such a hurry that I didn't plan an overnight properly.

I got home around 9 p.m. and as per my buddy's advice, I recorded the interaction. I was halfway up the stairs when she came up from the family room, asking what's going on. Can we talk? I thought we talked about this. I just answered that I wasn't interested in talking and went to bed. After not getting a response from me through the door, she left me alone. I kind of feel like a child for not talking with her and shutting the door on her, but I just couldn't look at her. Monday morning, I got ready for work

and she was waiting for me and asked if we could discuss getting back to normal. I said, you've been doing all the talking for both of us this last week. Why don't you continue and I left for work? I have an appointment with the attorneys my friend recommended this week. Yeah, this story is absolutely wild. Reading I was like, okay, so we have a run of the mill cheater who's always fantasized about cheating and her near-death experiences made her think, okay, now it's my time to cheat. But then the friend comes in and tries to call OP what was it callus for not considering it? What? What? OP I am deeply relieved that you have a spine here. The way this was

going in the first half, I really thought that you were just gonna buckle and forgive her because the way you describe your relationship it kind of sounds like she wears the pants, no offense because you're very considerate and she's very callous and bossy, so I just sort of assume she was going to get her way, but it is so relieving to know that you are abandoning ship. Your marriage, my friend, is a sinking ship, so get out before it's too late. You think this is a one time haul pass? Yeah, right. Man, it's so wild to me that two people can be in a loving, committed relationship for 20 years, and then after a 20-year relationship, after your partner has supported you through

F and Cancer, your response is, okay, well, I don't care about you anymore, so bye! She really only shows her true colors after 20 years of marriage. What a disgusting person, legitimately just scum. Metrolinx and cross links are reminding everyone to be careful as Eglinton Cross Town LRT train testing is in progress. Please be alert, this trains can pass at any time on the tracks. Remember to follow all traffic signals. Be careful along our tracks and only make left turns where it's safe to do so. Be alert, be aware, and stay safe. Your business has grown fast, from opening your first location to planning an expansion in no time.

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My nine year old child has recently gotten into baking. She's really passionate about it, and it sparked most of our family members to stimulate that passion by requesting my daughter to bake small items they happen to be craving right then because they'd be coming over soon. They'd always be small things like, oh, I'd sure love some brownies. And since family members genuinely asked and complimented her, it made her heart smile, so I supported her and I didn't mind paying for the ingredients. Now one of my family members is hosting a gathering and asked my daughter to bake 75 cupcakes.

They said that they would take her shopping for ingredients. My daughter asked me if she could, and I said sure. I supervise all of them related steps, and I'm always present. Afterwards, I contacted that family member, and I said that my daughter was so excited to have her very first paying customer. This family member was apparently appalled at the expectation of paying my child for hours of labor, and said that since she's a minor and doesn't have a genuine business yet, she shouldn't expect payment because of taxes?

You know what? I replied to her that if she feels so strongly about this, then she should order from a genuine business because there is no way in any universe I'm going to let someone exploit my kid like that. She accused me of promoting child labor, and when I countered that she appeared to be fine with that child labor until she had to pay for it, she hung up on me. Now, to be clear, I didn't expect her to pay my daughter a full hourly wage, just something extra to think her for her hard work. My daughter has been putting every scent that she gets in allowance or she earns towards baking supplies. I assume that she would have done the same thing with this money, but that's entirely up to her.

If this family member decides not to pay, I'm still gonna let my daughter make the big order, pay my daughter in full, and then take the food down to a local food bank so she still gets the money and the experience. As fellow parents, how would you have approached this situation? I feel like I potentially robbed my kid of an experience that she would have enjoyed out of personal principle. Opie, I don't know where the update on this is going to go, but as a fellow parent, I have to say you handled this perfectly. Oh my god, 5 out of 5 stars, Opie, I'm so proud of you.

The fact that you're paying the cupcakes out of your own pocket and still letting your daughter do the things she wants to do is so sweet and consider it. And you're also advocating on behalf of your daughter to make sure she's not exploited. This is just stellar. This is the perfect post so far. Let's see if it turns into a train wreck. Then two days later, OP posted an update. To those accusing me of trying to profit off of my child, monetizing something that should

be fun or being an awful parent in general, go hid by a moose. I sat my daughter down and explained to her that the relative didn't intend on paying her, that she was welcome to do the work for free if she so desired, but she was allowed to decline her request. We proceeded to have an entire discussion about the differences between doing a favor, like a pan of brownies, and labor, like catering an event. I emphasized that it was her decision and she would have my help and support whichever way she went. She ended up asking if it would be possible for her to attend the event instead of receiving payment so that she could see people eat her cupcakes.

Oh, that's so sweet! And brag about making them, which the relative declined because it was a child-free event and she couldn't make exceptions. Me and my daughter understood that, so instead, my daughter requested that the family member give her baking pants and sizes that she doesn't have yet as a sort of payment. Which the relative also declined because why should I give you gifts when it's not your time to be celebrated? This relative went on to say that my child was ruining the party by refusing to do the dessert because I was counting on it.

At this point, my daughter was starting to feel guilty, so I stepped in. I gave this family member a list of local bakeries and at home bakers that she could contact and wish her a fantastic day. I reassured my kid, and then we went out together to buy the baking pans ourselves. About two hours later, this relative, undoubtedly having contacted other bakers and bakeries, called and offered my daughter a gift card for a local shop that sells all kinds of cooking and baking supplies. My daughter happily accepted,

and we thought that was that. This relative really stepped up her game and making up for her nonsense because she arranged for my kid and myself to supervise to be allowed in the venue's kitchen and make the cupcakes there, because the venue owners feel like young passion should be encouraged. I've ordered my daughter her very first tiny apron and she's beyond excited to experience a commercial kitchen and watching her heart smile makes my mom heart happy. Opie, I am deeply touched by this post. This post is so sweet, it's sweeter than cupcakes.

It's so awesome, man, I read so many stories, it's depressing honestly. So many stories of just awful parents, just the worst scum of the earth parents. Then to actually read a post where a parent champions her daughter and does everything she's supposed to do. She encourages her passion, she supports her financially, she prevents her from being steamrolled by bullies. She teaches her daughter world lessons about what to do and what not to do and what's appropriate. It's just, it just, it makes my heart sing OP. That was our slash best of redditor updates. And if you like this content, be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new reddit podcast episodes every single day.