rSlash - r/Bestof My Witch Neighbor is Trying to Curse Me

Episode Date: September 18, 2025

0:00 Intro 0:11 Sourdough 4:05 Medical costs 8:35 Micromanager 12:39 DNA Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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states where a witch casts evil spells on O.P. because of a loaf of bread. Our next Reddit posts is from Swordfish Efficient. So I live in a duplex, and my neighbor, Linda, is this 50-something-year-old woman who's really into witchcraft, crystals, moon water, the whole deal. I don't care. She's harmless. Or she was. About a month ago, she came over ranting that her sourdough starter died overnight, and she could feel my energy was bad that day. I laughed because it's just bread goo. I told her maybe it was just mold or she forgot to feed it. A big mistake. Ever since, she's convinced that I hexed her kitchen. She started doing these loud cleansing rituals in our shared front yard at like 3 a.m. Burning sage,

chanting in what I think is bad Spanish, and sprinkling mystery liquid around my plants. One morning, I found my basil covered in glitter. Last week, she escalated. I came home and there was a raw chicken, not even package, just a raw, slimy chicken sitting in the middle of my welcome mat with a note taped to it that said, The curse is returned. I literally had to bleach my doorstep. I tried ignoring it.

Sorry, this is really stupid. I tried ignoring it, but last night she knocked on my door, holding a mason jar of cloudy water and told me to drink this so that we can be friends again. I said, no, Linda, and shut the door. She started screaming that I don't respect the balance and that the bread gods will punish me. Now I'm wondering if I should call the police, but how do you even explain, my neighbor thinks I killed her yeast and she's retaliating with poultry-based magic? Then, two days later, Opie posted an update.

The night that I posted this story, I saw Linda last night bearing a Ziploc bag of cooked spaghetti under my car and yelling that she has to do this to confuse the bread spirits. I thought that would be my last straw, but then last night I saw her in my backyard, my fenced backyard, shaking what looked like a salt shaker over my lawn while mumbling something about restoring the bread line. That was it. I call the non-emergency police line. Two officers showed up about 20 minutes later.

I explained the whole situation. The dead sourdough starter, the 3 a.m. chanting, the raw chicken, the jars of swamp water, the spaghetti burial, all of it. I tried to make it sound serious, but not too insane. They go to talk to her, and within about 30 seconds, I hear her yelling, She's lying! The dough told me what she did. Then she dragged them into her kitchen to show them the evidence. Ten minutes later, the officers came back out, looking like they had just survived a hostage negotiation with the Pillsbury doughboy. They said that she has some unusual beliefs, but as long as she's not physically harming me or damaging property, their hands are tied.

They suggested that I install a fence, but I have one, and that I avoid engaging. As they were leaving, Linda stood on her porch, holding a loaf of bread over her head like the Lion King baby, and screamed, the curse will turn on you. So now I have police documentation, zero solutions, and a neighbor who probably thinks that she won that round. Down in the comments, we have another weirdo story from Seathing Heathen. That reminds me of when 20 years ago, my upstairs neighbor was seriously convinced that I was a vampire because I was going through some stuff, and I only left my apartment at night because I was sleeping all day to avoid life. She hung garland. on my doorknob. Maybe she and bread lady should find a cheese weirdo and open up a food truck.

Our next Reddit post comes from our slash legal advice. I live in an older home, a stones throw away from a fraternity row in a party school college town. Just over a year ago, a college student drunkenly entered my home via throwing his weight at my 150-year-old wooden door at around 1 a.m. When he entered, he woke us up and startled our large dog, who was most likely sleeping on the floor by the front door. The dog bit him, drew blood, and the college student needed stitches. When we heard him entering the home, we called the police, who did a great job of coming quickly. They administered medical care to him, and one set of officers took him to the emergency room, while another set got a statement from us. We pulled our vaccine records for

the dog, gave him the name of the vet, and so on. The next day, day, the cops called us to let us know that they had checked with the vet, and everything about our dog was ship-shaped, and the dog was obviously contained appropriately, and has no bite record, so they didn't impound him or anything, and chalked it up to doggy justice. They dealt with the student, too, and communicated with us throughout the process, and after all the court dates, he received a fine and a misdemeanor. He did not attempt to escalate, as the college student was drunk, was stupid, had no prior record, and hopefully learned from the experience and our dog. The doorframe got replaced and strengthened with another lock. We had no idea how brittle

that door was. This week, over a year later, we got a letter from a lawyer representing the student and his mom saying that we can settle for the cost of the dog bite expenses, which they did not itemize or send a copy of the bill for or anything. They just put a number on the letter. Or they would sue us for the cost plus legal fees. My husband and I can't see how this can possibly hold up in court, considering that he was technically breaking and entering and did receive a misdemeanor for that. My question is, do we even need a lawyer for this? Or can we just say, see you in court, and represent ourselves with a copy of the police report from the breaking and entering. We're sort of regretting letting it go so easily now. How can he possibly sue us for the

cost of the stitches and the emergency room bill when he was criminally trespassing in our house and breaking our door down. It's not like our dog was walking around outside unsupervised or even on a leash or something. He's not an aggressive dog at all, and had never before and never since bit anyone. I feel like he and his mom watched one of those ambulance chasing lawyer commercials and took the baits. Then four days later, OP posted an update. This was easily handled. We met with our lawyer on Monday and paid him outright to draft a letter and include documentation of fault. Basically, the police report, restitution order, court documents, etc. And also the vet records that include the police check and the vaccine records for the dog. My vet wrote down when

the police called him and why they called him, and my lawyer's secretary grabbed a copy of that for this. He didn't want to include the bills and orders for the door at the time, but took a copy just in case we needed to move further. This morning, the student's mom's lawyer, who sent the initial letter called our lawyer and said that the family would no longer be pursuing restitution for medical expenses and that we could expect a letter from him stating that which would arrive at both my lawyer's office and our house within the week. Turns out, those of you who guessed that the student didn't tell his mom why and how he got bitten by our dog are probably correct. It wasn't explicitly said during the phone call, but my lawyer told us that he could infer from the way

the conversation went with the other lawyer, this is probably what happens. This probably made the top 10 stupid cases list. You know, one thing Reddit has taught me is that people get really intimidated by letters from lawyers saying, give us money or we'll sue you. And keep in mind, anyone can write a letter saying, give me money or we'll sue you. And there's like no real backing to it. It's only scary if you actually get sued. But I guess a lot of lawyers will send out letters like that because some people will just

pay out of fear. I really wish we could hear the other side of the story, the kid's perspective, the college student where he tells his mom. Well, yeah, you see, the thing is, the reason why I got bit is because I kind of broke the door down and broke into their house. Honestly, this kid was lucky he didn't get shot. Our next Reddit post is from R-slash co-worker story. I swear, my coworker Alicia has a secret job title, and it's my unofficial, unwanted micromanager. We have the exact same role. We report to the same person. We have the same responsibilities. Yet somehow, in her mind, she's my direct supervisor. It's a daily thing. Our actual manager will assign me a task, and five minutes later, I'll get a message from Alicia. Hey, just checking

in on the report for Mark, our boss. Let me know if you need me. to review it before you send it. She never offers to help, only to review. Last week in a team meeting, our boss assigned me a project. She immediately chimed in with, great, and can you make sure to send me the draft by end of day Wednesday? I want to give it a once over before it goes up the chain. She said this in front of everyone, including our actual boss, who just kind of blinked. I am a non-confrontational person, so I usually just say, okay, thanks, but inside, I'm screaming. The breaking point was this morning. She walked over to my desk, pointed at my screen, and said, you should really format that data differently. Just stop what you're doing, and I'll send you the

template I use. It's much better. I just looked at her and thought, I don't work for you, we're peers. I'm so tired of having to manage her attempts to manage me. It's like how to have to, having two bosses, but I only get paid for one. Has anyone else dealt with a shadow manager on their team? How do you get them to back off without making it a huge HR issue? Then two weeks later, OP posted an update. Since my last post, things have definitely escalated. The last straw was when our manager gave me a two-week project. Not even 10 minutes later, Alicia messaged me saying, can you send me progress updates every couple of days so I can make sure it's on track? That was the moment I realized I couldn't keep letting this slide.

Instead of confronting her directly, I tried an experiment. I ignored her check-ins completely and only sent updates to our actual manager when they were due. Wait, what? O.P., you've been sending updates to the micromanager and you're wondering why she's micromanaging you? Okay. Anyway, I'm sorry, back to the story. And nothing bad happened. No one cared. The work got done and life moved on. Then came the team meeting. As expected,

Alicia jumped in with her usual line. I'll review it before it goes up the chain. This time, I spoke up. I said, thanks, but our boss Mark already approved the draft and looked at our boss while saying it. His reaction was priceless. It was like he suddenly realized what had been happening all along. After the meeting, he pulled me aside and actually apologized. He told me to always send work directly to him, and he said that he would speak to Alicia. Since then, I haven't gotten a single unsolicited review request. She still has that same bossy energy, but at least she's not breathing down my neck anymore. I feel a little guilty for not addressing it with her face-to-face, but honestly, it's not my job to manage her behavior. Right now,

things feel lighter, and I can finally focus without feeling like someone's peeking over my shoulder. So I'm torn. Do I enjoy the piece and leave it alone? Or should I have an actual conversation with her in case she tries creeping back into shadow manager mode? The top post from Il Palazzo thought exactly what I was thinking. Seriously? You've been sending her updates this whole time and you wondered why she acted like she's your boss? Yeah, that's one of the things about control. Unless someone is using actual physical violence to control you. Typically, people can only control. you as much as you let them control you. So I think the problem wasn't the co-worker acting bossy, it was O.P. being a pushover. Our next Reddit post comes from R slash Ancestry DNA. Just in case you don't know, that's a company that will test your blood to see what your like heritage is. I think they mixed my DNA up with someone else's. I purchased a DNA testing kit back in April of this year,

and the first test they lost, and now I got my second one, and they mixed it up. Customer support isn't helping, saying that this is what came from my DNA results. And for context, O.P posts a picture of his DNA test results, and despite living in Baghdad, the DNA says that he's from Mexico and Spain. A little bit of background. I was born in Baghdad, Iraq, in 2006, three years after the invasion and government and hospitals were very backed up. Adoption is very, if not unheard of in Iraq, especially from where the test is saying that I'm from. And I don't look like I'm from any of the places listed.

What do I do? And what do I tell the support team? Then down in the comments, someone asks, Have you ever been a bone marrow recipient? And O.P. says, yes. And that same commenter replies, That's it. You're seeing the DNA of the person who donated.

Unfortunately, you can't get accurate test results because of this. Test one of your siblings instead. Someone else replies, right? My very English dad did a test before and, after his bone marrow transplant. Now afterwards, he's very German. We gave him Liederhausen for his transplant anniversary.

So, this story is short, sweet, and interesting. Didn't know that you could carry around someone else's DNA inside of you like that. That was our slash best of Redditor updates, and if you like this content, be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes

every single day.