rSlash - r/Bestof Why Does Everyone Think I'm a Swinger?

Episode Date: August 8, 2024

0:00 Intro 0:08 Hiding money 5:10 Couple swap 10:45 Hair cut 15:03 Comment Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Never skip therapy day with BetterHelp. Visit BetterHelp.com to learn more. That's BetterHELP.com. Welcome to r slash best of Redditor updates where OP's husband tries to murder her. Our next Reddit post is from r slash true off my chest. My husband is out of work. He does odd jobs around town to bring in a few hundred dollars a month. I'm employed but the job doesn't pay well.

Saving money is hard. A few months ago, my husband and I had a birth control failure and were now expecting. Saving money became an even bigger priority for me. My husband seemed to want to spend more because he said my pregnancy was causing him stress and activating his anxiety and depression. And him partying helped. He says all of that will be over when the baby comes. My husband received a really generous job offer recently.

He decided to use the money that I'd been saving. He figured he could replace it with the first several paychecks. He never contributed a penny to that savings fund. My husband claims that since we're married, it was our money and he had every right to it. The job offer fell through. My husband then admitted that he took my money. It took me months to scrape that together and he blew through it in two weeks.

His friends had been telling me that I'm not allowed to be upset because we're married so that money was marital property. I've also been told that my husband needed that money more than I did because it helped him cope and I should be glad that he partied instead of getting worse. My husband said that he won't touch any future savings for the sake of our baby. It all came to a head last weekend when my husband ran out of cigarettes. I ended up scrounging together loose change to buy him cigarette packs so that he could make it until I got paid again. My husband didn't believe that I was that

broke. When I was at work on Monday, he went through our apartment to look for any money that I may have hidden. He found 20 bucks in a winter coat that I had in storage that I'd forgotten about. He also logged into my online banking and saw that I had money in my account. But that money was earmarked for a bill. He called my work twice to yell at me and then chewed me out when I got home. He told me that I'm a liar and that I withheld something that he needed. I tried to explain that I had no clue there was any money in my winter clothing and that the money in my bank account was for a bill, but he didn't care. At least two of his friends have told me that I could have paid the bill a few days late if it meant supporting my husband while he's going through so much.

This morning, my husband told me that since I'm a liar and willing to hide things from him that he doesn't feel like he needs to pay back the money that he took until I stop being such a butthole to him. But I wasn't lying. As far as I'm concerned, the money that I set aside for the bill was non-negotiable. So am I the butthole for not telling him that I had money set aside for a bill? Then a commenter asks, OP, is your husband literally 8 years old? And OP replies, he's in his 30s. He thinks that I was punishing him because he had an affair when he first found out that

I was pregnant. I've been told by friends and family that a lot of guys stray when they first find out. I'm not happy, but that's not why I wouldn't let him have the money. I was just taught by my grandma that bills come before anything else. She continues in another comment, I've been told that one of his friends is spreading the idea that the baby is not his. And I don't know if this guy came up with that idea on his own. This same guy is telling people that I'm financially abusive towards my husband. Then the next day OP posted an update. Is one of you a witch? My husband partied a little too hard

and got himself arrested this morning. Due to his previous behavior, he's gonna have to sit in jail for a few weeks while they sort things out. You've all given me things to think about, and the universe gave me time to mull them over. Then, four years later, OP posted an update. I made a post on this account four years ago when things were really bad in my life. Unbeknownst to me, my husband was addicted to drugs. His friends who were all on his side were also doing drugs with him. My now ex-husband was contemplating getting rid of us both. What does that mean? Him getting arrested that weekend in 2020 saved my life. No way! He was thinking of doing a murder-suicide?

I've gone low contact with my family. My best friend helped me get a new job. I met some people who helped me get a better place. My ex is still wallowing down in the gutter, but at least he didn't take us with him. My daughter was born safe, happy, and loved. Life isn't perfect, but it's so much better than it used to be. Then down in the comments, people asked OP to clarify and she says, I didn't want to admit this 4 years ago, but I'm okay to talk about it now. My husband came home high and drunk and beat the daylights out of me. I'm lucky to be alive.

I suffered a permanent injury and he still only got a 6 month sentence. The flags in this post went from pink to light red to red to dark red to on fire red. I'm glad that OP got out of there. Our next reddit post comes from r slash relationships. I've been with my boyfriend Ryan for 6 months. Our relationship is fun and great. I was browsing social media before bed when Facebook alerted me that a non-friend was requesting to send me a message.

Curious, I opened it and I was greeted with a shock. The guy who messaged me, Craig, stopped replying after my second question. He said, So, um, heard that you two are into couple swapping, etc. Lol. I replied, What? The guy replied,

Y'all are all over a website for that. I'm not trying to be a creep at all or odd about it. This would be our first time doing anything like that. I replied, Can you send me screenshots of that stuff? Sorry if I sound rude. I don't think you're creepy, it's just that as far as I know, my partner and I aren't on any sites for swapping or anything else sexual. My boyfriend Ryan wasn't

picking up his phone. I think that someone might have taken our images and put them up on some sort of sexual meetup website. And since we were contacted by a man in his 30s, the site must say that we're older than the 18 and 19 year old kids that we are. I'm also scared because Craig's profile says that he's from the same city that Ryan and I are from. So whatever site we're on has our relative location on it. Maybe Ryan has something to do with it?

I don't know how to proceed from here. Please help. Then later that day OP posted an update. After posting this last night, I was exhausted and fell asleep. Craig messaged me again half an hour ago and then stopped responding. He said, Sorry I was asleep. I'll try to find that stuff. My wife and I deleted our profile. Yeah, sorry about the mess. I don't know how this could happen, unless there were bots

or my boyfriend was trying to cheat on me. No, he wasn't trying to cheat on you, their profiles had both of you. At this point, I'm afraid that it's Ryan who posted the pictures. I don't want it to be him, he won't answer my texts. And there's more updates, but I'm going to read this very relevant comment from Coffee and Tea Swing. As a couple that regularly participates in swinging sites, this kind of stuff is incredibly common.

You'll have a guy who gets off on the chat and fantasizing about either threesomes or swapping, so he'll create a profile without his significant other's knowledge, pretending to be swingers so he can chat with real swingers. It's incredibly frustrating as real swingers, and incredibly common. They're pretty easy to spot after some experience also. The way it normally happens is we start chatting with a couple. After a couple of days, we realize that we've only communicated with the male half. Then we ask the woman to verify her voice via phone or Skype.

That way, both couples are verified. Then the dude just ghosts us or deflects back to dirty talk. Reverse image searching also often leads to their Facebook profiles. At this point, a decision is made. Either we're pissed off enough at the dude that we'll actually contact his significant other over Facebook and rat him out, or we'll just make a note and move on. We actually busted my cousin's best friend's fiance doing this. We tracked down the douchebag's Facebook profile, found out that he was a mutual friend with our cousin, and then found out he was engaged to my cousin's best friend.

As we suspected, she did not know that he was doing this. So as a couple who's been on the other end of this, we're leaning towards your boyfriend being a butthole rather than this being a scam. Then one day later OP posted an update. My boyfriend Ryan ended up texting me that he wanted to see me. I got a bad vibe so I asked him to call me instead. You all were right. It was him.

Apparently the fantasy of swinging was a special kink for him and he used those sites to… Have fun on his own, so to speak. I couldn't find the profiles on any of the sites because he had our ages listed as 23 and 24 and I'd been searching for couples ages 18 and 19. The guy who messaged me, Craig, couldn't find our information because when Ryan received my text last night, he went into damage control mode and deleted everything. He had used inappropriate photos of me to lure people into chatting with him. I'm young and relatively attractive, so I guess I was good bait. Hopey, I don't know if that's supposed to be a pun, but it's funny. I threatened to tell my dad, who's a sheriff, about all of this if Ryan doesn't take everything

down immediately. I'm meeting him at a coffee shop tomorrow to look through his phone and laptop to ensure that all my photos are gone. Needless to say, we are done. The guy Craig said that he was sorry and that he didn't want to speak with me ever again and that him and his wife were only interested in swinging because they thought that Ryan and I were hot. I still don't know how the eff he found me on Facebook, but he stopped responding, so

I blocked him. Today was kind of an awful day. Then down in the comments, OP makes a reply. Yeah, I'll definitely talk to my dad. It's gonna be an awkward conversation, but you're right. Ryan did something terrible to me, and who knows who else he stole photos from. Ugh, that's just awful. I feel gross reading this one.

It's so weird to me that this guy would immediately jump to committing a crime by posting, you know, inappropriate photos without permission instead of just asking his girlfriend if she's into that. You know, because it's possible she would be. So why blow up your relationship doing something unethical that's also a crime when who knows, maybe she's into it too. In any event, I hope OP's sheriff father absolutely destroys this dude. Our next reddit post comes from r slash amithabudhole. Am I the butthole for taking my friend to court after she kicked me out of the bridal party for cutting my hair? For my friend's 3 day wedding, I had to buy 3 different dresses, including

alterations and specific shoes which totaled over 700 bucks. She also wanted specific hairstyles for each day. Unfortunately, before the wedding, my hair started to deteriorate. Due to health reasons, my hair was falling out in chunks, and two months later I made the difficult decision to cut my hair. I told the bride about my decision two weeks before the wedding, and she didn't say anything bad. The following week she came over to my house, and when she was about to leave, she brought up that she was concerned about my haircut, and I told her that I would look good even

though I wouldn't be uniform with the other bridesmaids. The following day I received this message. After our recent conversation, I'd like to remind you of my boundaries. I've been very accommodating and graceful, but I can't allow you to disrespect me. Actually, this message is pretty long, so I'm not going to read this whole thing in my annoying lady voice. As you know, my wedding has been something that I've dreamt of for many years. My husband and I have invested a lot of money into the video and photos of this day, and as we reflect on this day in the future, we want to see our vision reflected in the memories. Ever since I asked each of you to be my bridesmaid, I've been very clear and very communicative in my request.

The timing of your decision to cut your hair is very upsetting to me. I would have felt respected if you had communicated with me more than a week prior to the wedding. That way we could have worked together to find out a collaborative solution. Your inconsistencies have concerned me and while I sympathize with your health concerns, I am not willing to compromise my vision to accommodate you or anyone else. Since this is something you can no longer fully commit to, I need you to please step down from participating in my wedding. I got this message three days before the wedding.

I immediately sent her and her husband an invoice asking them to reimburse me for the dresses and shoes. Keep in mind that one of those dresses is still in her possession even though I paid for it. Neither of them replied, so I decided to take it to court. I was told that I was inconsistent and selfish after I spent the past two weeks helping her plan the wedding shower. I also worked with another bridesmaid to surprise her with a bridal shower after our bachelorette

trip had to be cancelled. I spent hours helping her out with the wedding details. When she asked me to help her tone up before the wedding, I sent her a personalized workout program and even went with her to the gym to show her the ropes. When I agreed to be her bridesmaid, I was more than willing to oblige with what she asked even if at times it was a lot of time and money. So am I the butthole for taking her to court because she kicked me out for cutting my hair? Then OP posted an update.

In December, I got the notification that a court date had been set for February. It would be virtual, and since it's small claims, we would represent ourselves. I began gathering my evidence and created a virtual file which I shared with the court and her seven days before the hearing. On the day of the hearing, she did show up. We were given the chance to settle, but that was unsuccessful. When we returned to the hearing, I found out that she had also made a virtual file with her evidence, but never shared it with me. The court then made her share it with me and what a surprise! She had copied my entire format for presenting evidence. Keep in mind, this is a format that I created. She didn't even have the decency or brain

cells to make up something herself. The hearing proceeded and we were both given a chance to share our side. It probably took 10-15 minutes. Afterwards, they said the verdict could take up to 90 days, so I waited and waited and waited. Then, yesterday, I got a verdict! I won! She's been ordered to pay me $800 for the dresses and shoes. I also have to return those two dresses and shoes to her.

All in all, I am very happy with the outcome and I am so ready to close this chapter. P.S. My hair and health are doing much better now. My three bald spots are growing again, and I couldn't be happier. I like this top comment from CharCheer. Those bald spots could have been caused by the stress of being this lunatics bridesmaid. That was our slash best of redditor updates, and if you like this content, be sure to follow my podcast, because I put out new reddit podcast episodes every single day.