rSlash - r/Choosingbeggar I'm Poor... BUY ME A MERCEDES!

Episode Date: July 20, 2022

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Welcome to our slash-choosing beggars, where a single mom expects to buy a Mercedes for $5,000. On this next post, OP works at a car dealership and someone tries to buy a car. At the most, I only have $700 to put down on a car and I have my Kia to trade in. Do you owe anything on your Kia? Yeah, like $4,500. I just need a reliable car. I'm a single mother. I'm not picky. I can try to work something out. We have a 2005 Buick Lasab and a 2001 Camry Ellie. Both are good reliable cars. We also have a 2001 Ford Escape that came in. Do any of those have leather or a sunroof? The Lasab does actually. Oh no, I can't be an abuick. Do you guys have a Lexus or Mercedes SUV in that price?

No, not for $5,000. I thought that you were just looking for something safe and reliable and affordable. Yeah, but I googled pictures of those cars and I just can't. What about this Mercedes that I just linked you? Do you have that? That car is like $15,000. So you can't make it less expensive to help me out? I'm a single mother of two trying to get something decent. And down in the comments we have this story from Temperature Moore. Oh man. So the company I work for is raffling off a new Jeep for our big fund razor for the year. We're a non-profit disability advocacy agency. I've had not won, but three different people message our company's Facebook page and ask

if we can just give them the car. Uh, no, the car is how we're raising funds to help our clients. Yeah, but I'm a single mom and I have three kids and my van keeps breaking down. Okay, well, you're welcome to enter the raffle contest. It's 25 bucks a ticket. Yeah, but I don't have that right now. Well, sorry, and good luck, though. And you guys claim that you want to help people. Posted to Facebook Marketplace. In search of free, free, free, free, free, free, working for one weekend only refrigerator.

I'm having a party. I don't have enough room for food and drinks. To be clear, I want a free fridge that will only need to work for just the one weekend. This upcoming weekend, July 3rd. Effet, you can come to my party too if you bring one refrigerator. DM me. And then, amazingly, someone replies, I know a guy who has a chest freezer

and OP responds in all caps, forage! Yo, has this Dufus never heard of a cooler? On this next post, OP is trying to sell a bike online and gets this really weird reply. Hi, that bike looks like me at my my age, just surviving. Picture show the bike enjoys good care. Sure, right. Don't worry, mine sleeps outside somewhere in winter, and I use it very often when the cold weather is away. Mine has finally expired. Poor thing.

It was noble, sincere, no enemies, hard worker, all those things. You might wonder why I'm saying so much without knowing you and you knowing me, but it happens I'm one of those guys. You know, one of those guys who will give you a low, very low offer for your bike. So you better stop reading before the next line. I don't want to be guilty if you suffer a heart attack. My offer is $40. No more, eh? That's final. You see, I even put a period after the word final.

So I beg you, please, if you don't need that bike, then take my $40 and enjoy a good movie with lots of popcorn and a soda. I recommend the movie. Well, you better decide which one to watch. I can pass by today. I pay cash. If you decide not to sell it to me, please ignore this message. It will be painful to read a no from you. Thanks. Down in the comments, someone asked what the price of the bike was online and he replies 75 bucks. So this guy said this bizarre unhinged email for what a $35 discount? Buddy posted to Facebook.

Hi babes, I'm hiring a private cook for trade for July. My month is busy serving clients and I need help getting fed. I want several home cooked meals delivered weekly for four weeks. Single or full-time mamas might be an ideal match or a man who wants to cook for a busy working woman. I'll give VIP service on my books to receive life altering, deeply healing, transformative bodywork. This will be ideal for an individual who's maybe given birth and never received care or a safe space to heal and integrate their traumas and want a deep relaxation reset. I assume that the cooking and meal prep

will be much cheaper than the dollar value of the work that I'll give to you, which is extra awesome for you. This is high value for me because time is money and I don't have as much available to slow cook and prep my foods. I need to be well nourished and fed. I don't do dietary restrictions and I aim for 2,000 calories a day. Meets, broths, root vegetables, raw milk, butters, organs, fish, cooked fruits, and ancestral eating is the vibe. Butter me a baby.

I'd be happy to share my resources for pro metabolic eating if that's interesting to you. That will support your body and healing journey too. You'll have a weekly VIP spot on my books. Alright, I've got to ask, and I really don't mean to be insulting at all, if this is something that like someone out there does and they swear by it, I'm just bad on my books. Alright, I've gotta ask, and I really don't mean to be insulting at all. If this is something that, like, someone out there does and they swear by it, I'm not insulting it. I'm just saying, I literally don't know what, what's the line?

Life altering deeply healing transformative bodywork. I have no idea what that is. Does anybody, is that massage? Is she talking about massage? What the hell is transformative bodywork? You know what I imagine when I hear transformative body work, someone turning into a werewolf, all right? That transformative body work. It's like, what is this lady talking about? Okay, oh, okay, down to the comments, people are talking about this, and it is the method of working

on the physical body that begins the process of contacting, accepting, and transmuting pain and trauma and congested energy that resides within the physical, emotional bodies. I'm sorry, what? This leads to insight and wisdom. It has two forms. The first form is the concrete, dynamic form of active, manual manipulation to the body. Okay, so massage.

The second form is the abstract energetic form of deep release and transmutation using myofacial point holding. Yo how is this explanation leaving me more confused than when I did know anything about it before? Myofacial point holding the f***. On this next post OP is a professional photographer. Hey buddy, I hope the pictures were okay. Just let me know which ones you want to keep, send me 10 bucks for each one, and I'll send you the original without the watermark. Yo mate, why do the pictures have your name on them? Can you take them off? Thanks. That's the watermark, so you can choose the ones you want. It's just a copy protection thing, standard practice.

Okay, well, can you take them off? They're right in the middle of the pictures, so I can't put them on my page because they look weird. And the inventor of the watermark rests happily in his grave. Sorry man, but I don't want to be a dick about it. It's just that I sort of count on the money that I make for headshots to save towards my video gear and music stuff. You said $10 for the pictures? Yeah, $10 for each picture that you want to use. I didn't ask for anything upfront until you saw the pictures and could tell me which ones you liked best.

I'll optimize the pictures and adjust the levels to how you want them. It's all part of the service. I thought you were just giving them to me, though, because you sent them all to me, but they have your name on them. Right. We're sort of going around in circles, aren't we? I sent them watermarked and you can choose the ones you want and delete the rest. But when you sent them, I was excited because I thought that all of them were free. No, I realize I can be a bit dumb, but I'm smarter than that.

But I thought they were free. I'm just curious. If you thought they were the complete photos, then would you still have offered to pay for them? Low-no sucks to be you. Seriously? Low-no. So, can I have them for free? They aren't even that good, they don't even look like me.

What? Look, no, sorry, I'm not just giving them to you for free. Whatever, I'm just gonna take the name off them, I know someone with Photoshop. Good luck with that. Let me know how much they went for doing that for you. I'll give you 5 pounds for them. Let me guess, the Photoshop friend laughed at you and said that you should just pay for the pictures. WTF? Who said that? Are you spying on me? No, the guy messaged me because my email address and profile are included on my watermark. He said he told you that he won't remove someone's copy protection and just to pay me because it's easier that way.

5 pound should be a good deal for you because otherwise people will see your awful pictures and think they're on some comedians page. Your pictures are sucky anyways. I hate to do this because I've already spent so much time dealing with you, but I'm just done. I wanted to help you out because you're my brother's friend, but this is a massive pain in the balls. I'm deleting your photographs on Friday. You have until then to decide if you want to pay for any.

If you're deleting them, can I just have them? Hello? I don't have money because my kid needs it, so can I have the pictures? It's Friday morning today. I'm deleting the pictures and blocking you at noon today. This is your last chance. Lowell, you won't really do that. Spoiler alert, he did, in fact, delete the photos.

Oh, so interestingly, OP posted an update. Someone else from Reddit reached out to OP and OP replied with an update. I deleted the photos in the end, and he threatened to sue me, and he said that he had a friend who was a layer who would sue me for free because I stole his image. The man had literally no clue. I asked him for the name of the lawyer, and he must have Googled someone randomly without actually knowing them. I contacted the name of the person they gave me, and I got a pretty formal version of, nah man, he's full of BS. I told him to go ahead and sue me, and weirdly, I never

heard from him again. Yo man, can you give me a lift tomorrow? I need to be at such and such street by 7.20 a.m. I can't do it, man. I've got to work at 7.30. Sorry, man. Pick me up at 6.30 a.m. at the Korean Church. It's doable. I have to be at work at 9.00 a.m.

I have to be in the back of blank by then. It's very doable. Trust me. Come on, man. I used to work two jobs back to back from morning to overnight in my earlier years. You just need the willpower, which it seems that you're lacking right now. But it seems like you're lacking the willpower to just walk there. Feeling betrayed. I am livid. Blank has been babysitting for me for seven months now at $100 a week.

The hours are easy, 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. like a regular effing job, and the kids are basically angels. They sleep most of the day anyway at this age. I get a text from her saying that she's applying to Walmart and that she can't afford to work here anymore. But she's not paying me for anything. I'm paying her. What do you mean, a Ford?

Have fun working longer hours for less pay, you ungrateful B word. And now I'm stuck without childcare. All the daycares in my area are super expensive, and every time I post it on a local buy and sell, people have left really mean comments. I'm kidding, desperate. I can't believe she would put me in this spot. This is risking my livelihood. I thought that she was my friend.

100 bucks a week from a 40 hour work week, I think that comes out to what, 250 an hour that I do that math in my head, right? 250? Our next writer posts this from just bus and problems. Yesterday I went for groceries after work, when I got approached at the entrance by a scruffy man asking if I was willing to buy him one or two cans of lemonade. It was pretty hot outside, so despite being broke myself, I decided I could do this for him.

It was in no way an unreasonable request. I even wanted to go above and beyond and get him some other small items that he needed. So I walk into the store and he starts following me around, not letting me just do my shopping and instead hurrying me through the store. Fine, I'll just cut my own shopping short to get this over with. As I'm getting a few sodas, he walks up to me with a six pack of red bull. I say to him, I don't even buy that for myself because it's too expensive. I offer to buy him a few cheaper energy drinks or a few bottles of water, or actual lemonade

like he asked for. Then he says, I only drink this brand. I look at him incredulously and point out that my own groceries cost less combined than his pack of Red Bull. He can get something else, but not a six pack of Red Bull. No, I only drink this. Can you just buy me a few cans? At this point, we're standing in line at the checkout, he's making a scene, and I just want to get this done, so I buy him a single can of Red Bull, but boy did I feel stupid. Beneath that, we had this story from shortbread biscuit. I had a similar issue

with an apparently destitute lady cornering me while I was in the middle of my shopping at a supermarket. She started asking me if I could buy her some food. Since it wasn't directly giving her money, I thought that it was innocent enough. But then, she dragged me to the meat aisle and pointed at the salami. The salami alone was three bucks, which was far more than I'd planned to spend on her. So I told her I'd get her that and nothing else. She got into a hissy fit and demanded that I buy her sausages and a whole gross relist of other items. But I put my foot down and told her the salami was the only thing she would get for me. Finally, she reluctantly agreed. I asked her to give me a minute to finish my own shopping

as well and I'd give her the stuff at checkout. She started following me around as I did my shopping. A minute later, when I turned around, she disappeared on me. After hunting around the store a bit, I finally found her harassing a different middle-aged lady with the same hustle. Having apparently given up on me as a cheap hustle. I dumped her salami back where I found it and went on with my original shopping. And beneath that, an even worse story from Bappy 5. The same thing happened to me once. I was at Aldi and some scruffy looking guy kindly asked if I can buy him a loaf of bread. I say sure, and then he says, oh, and also a pound of potatoes, some ham, a basket of fruit, etc.

So I'm thinking, is he messing with me? I enter the shop and I ask an employee if he knows the man. He tells me not to buy the guy anything. They basically ask people to buy them a bunch of stuff and then return it to get a full refund. He told me that the same guy had a woman buy him 100 euros worth of stuff the week before and she even got her bag stolen. Never again. He told me that the same guy had a woman buy him 100 euros worth of stuff the week before, and she even got her bag stolen. Never again.

As I left the store, he was waiting for me, and he had the nerve to ask me about his food. I told him he could f-right off. I need a couple of new babysitters for my daughter. The shifts will be split into three days each. The times will be from 12 to 1115 Monday through Wednesday and Thursday through Saturday. The pay is $15 a day. This is due to the rising cost of gas lately. Please private message me if you're interested. I have a very sweet six-year-old daughter who

loves to be as active as much as possible. She does take medication twice a day every day. She takes it by herself in the mornings and the babysitter will be required to give her her night medicine on time every night to keep her routine. You must have a working phone to contact me or my boyfriend, who's basically her dad at all times. You'll meet both of us in person for an interview at our home on Willard. The babysitter will watch her while my boyfriend and I go to work. If need be, one of us can take the sitter home after we get off work.

We need these new babysitters as soon as absolutely possible. You must have at least two references that I can contact for verification purposes. And the math on this one comes out to $1.36 an hour. That was our slash-choosing beggars, and if you like this content, be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day. That was our slash Choosing Beggars, and if you like this content, be sure to follow my podcast, because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day.