rSlash - r/Choosingbeggars "Can I Pay in Hamburgers and Butt Medicine?"

Episode Date: March 11, 2022

r/Choosingbeggars Who needs to be paid in dollars when you can get paid in HAMBURGERS AND BUTT MEDICINE?! In today's episode, we've got the deal of a lifetime that you'd have to be a fool to pass up. This choosing beggar wants to buy a car in exchange for free hamburgers and suppositories. Let's be honest, that's what you were going to spend the money on anyways, right? So you may as well skip a step and sell your car. What a deal! Go to ExpressVPN.com/slash to get 3 months free with a 1 year subscription. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to our slash choosing beggars, where you have to pay for the privilege of work. Posted a Facebook. Does anyone have an extra SUV that they don't need anymore? Please, I'm a single mother and pregnant with my third child, and I really need a bigger car. Please let me know, I'm looking for a 7 or 8-seater SUV, please. Year 2016 or later, please, with good miles and good on gas, please. Well, I'll hand it to her. At least you said please, like seven times. But, come on lady, a free car, are you nuts? No one on Earth has an extra 2016 or later SUV laying around.

Why? Because cars like that are worth, what? Like, $5,000, ten fifteen thousand dollars at least on this next post O.P. is looking for a nanny on Facebook. I am sick and tired of dealing with nannies who are no shows or ghosts for our family. I am now in search for a third nanny. I'm not asking for much just play with my child. I have a corporate job that I have deadlines for. Some of these girls clearly don't understand what a deadline is or a corporate environment is. My husband is deployed, so I will literally rely on you every morning. I need help! I need part-time help from 8 to noon in the mornings. The pay is $10 an hour. This isn't money to live off of. It's side money.

We live in blank, which is perfect for the older mom slash grandma type that wants to hang out with my one year old. He's very sweet. I need help ASAP. We can't afford $15 or $20 an hour. Serious in Query's only. Down in the comments, this post from Ginger made me laugh. Usually, an older adult who just wants to hang out with my one year old would be on a

register. On this next post, OP offers 3D printing services. Okay, perfect. Do you have a price range in mind yet? Are you in a rush? The last guy I was talking to was going to do it for 35 bucks, but I'll pay 45 bucks. I'm in a bit of a rush, but I can wait to be honest. Okay, but at the settings you specify, there's really no way to do it for that cheap.

Plastic-wise, that price is fine. But following the designer's settings and your desire to do it at 40% in-fill, it'll take almost 11 days of constant printing. Probably closer to 2 weeks when everything's set and done. If you want to use the designer's recommendations of 15% infill, it'll take 5 days to print and would cost 80 bucks. With the 40% infill, it'll cost 110 dollars. So you'd be charging me 400% if I use the original recommendation, 400% of what?

The cost of the filament, a one kilogram spool of filament cost $20, but you're paying for more than the filament. What you're really paying for is experience, filaments, hardware, wear and tear, post processing, and shipping. That's not even factoring in the opportunity cost of what a five to dendet print shop could cost. It's no different than paying for a contractor to do labor.

Huh, trying to justify a 400% upcharge? Like 100 to 150% I get. But 400% is far too much money to blank me out of. And in that sentence, the choosing becker used a racial slur for Jewish people in the blank. I'll be finding someone else, do NOT message me again. Like I said, you're paying for more than just the filaments. You're practically renting a machine that I maintain.

If you'd like to purchase a printer and go through all the steps it takes to get reliable prints and print it yourself, you'll be out double what I'm estimating. In both time and cost. Have a good day and I'm sorry that we couldn't come to an agreement. If your mother, so for a brief while, I actually considered getting into 3D printing, but ultimately decided against it

because even though it seems like a really cool hobby, I don't have anything I need to print. So I feel like I would print one or two things and then just stop printing. But it's like super involved. It's a skill that you have to actually develop. You have to learn about 3D models. You have to learn how print jobs work.

You have to make sure you've set everything up correctly. It's like actually really, really involved. So what this guy's like proposing is super, super reasonable. A 400% upcharge. And like, yeah, these machines are super expensive too, and they do require maintenance, so yeah like this guy is being totally fair here, but the choosing beggar just doesn't understand that. This next post is an apartment post on Craigslist.

$600 for one bedroom. This is a reduced room rental for a full time babysitter slash nanny. It's $600 a month including utilities. One bedroom is furnished, one full bathroom, a washer dryer, small patio area, you must be okay with pets and you must help with cleanings. No drugs. Female preferred, single mothers are okay. You must be able to care for my 7 year old Monday to Thursday from 315 pm to 2 30 am. Geez. Currently, the shift may change, but ample notice would be given. Pick up from school needed Monday through Thursday.

315 to 230. That's like, what, 11 hours? Is that right? 11 hours, 4 days a week. That's a 44 hour. This is a full-time job. 44 hours a week. You have to pay someone $600 to work full-time. Yo, what? Also, um, don't worry, sweetie. Mommy's going to be gone until 2 a.m. This complete and total stranger that Mommy found on Craigslist is gonna watch you from now and tell 2am. So don't worry, sweetie. I'm sure you'll be perfectly safe. But like all jokes aside, what I want to know is

where is this person supposed to find the actual time to pay the $600 a month to have this apartment? Like seriously, we're looking at a 44 hour work week. So then after working 40 hours, they have to go out and work another 40 hours just so they can pay the rent that they have to pay to work the other 40 hour job they have. This post is weird. The more I think about it, the weirder it gets. This next post comes from a job posting and it's really long and dry so I'm just going to read the highlights. Duties and responsibilities. You'll have to run the day-to- going to read the highlights. Duties and responsibilities.

You'll have to run the day-to-day operations of the store. You'll need to treat this store like you own it. You'll be involved 7 days a week, 24 hours a day. Read this carefully. 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. You have to be at work one hour early and go home one hour late. Tell the white this is what to expect before you apply. Skills and experience. We will not sugarcoat this. To be successful in this role, you'll

need to be equipped with all the skills. That's right, you'll need all the skills required to make this store a winner. You'll need to eat hard work for breakfast and thrive on a 100 hour work week when you need to do it. You must thrive on hard work. I ask that you read this ad again slowly. Then go to the bathroom and look yourself in the mirror. Ask yourself, honestly, is this role for you? If you're a pretender, you won't get past Stage 1. You'll need to be made of the right stuff if you're to be offered this opportunity after meeting with the director. We know what it takes to be successful, and you'll need that too by the bucket load.

And nowhere on this post about a 100 hour work week, is there any mention of salary or benefits or anything actually beneficial for the person applying to the job? It's just a long list of, listen, I really want you to understand that this job will really, really suck. But please apply anyways! So going down in the comments, apparently this job posting got so viral and got so much hate that they had to first rewrite it and

then remove the ad posting entirely. So at least there's some justice in the world. Oh, so apparently it's actually a pretty lucrative job. It's $110,000, which I think are actually more valuable than the US dollar. So it's probably closer like 120 or 130 USD, which is a lot of money certainly. But like still, man, even if you factor in that it's a hundred hours a week, that's 40 plus 40 plus another 20. So actually, if you took a 40 a 40k salary and then you double that to 80 hours, that'd be 80k, then you threw in another 20 hours, that'd be 100k. So it's basically effectively just a 40k salary,

except you're working that 40k salary job 2.5 times longer than a normal 40k salary job. Today's episode is sponsored by ExpressVPN. As a content creator, I have to take my online privacy very seriously. That's why I use ExpressVPN as my VPN service. VPNs hide your searches from your internet service provider, and it also protects you from hackers as well.

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the word slash. This next post was posted to Facebook. Apartment Sublet available from March 1st to March 15th for responsible dog lovers. Cost $100. I live alone in a very cute, fully furnished carriage house located in Blank. You must be willing to take exquisite care of two affectionate boxers who will want to befriend you. They'll need love and cuddles, water, food, vitamins, and one thirty minute walk a day. If you feel that you're good with big dogs who are fairly good on a leash, they do pull

sometimes, but overall well-behaved, then please reach out. This fully furnished, quiet, clean, and quiet home has a shower and bathroom, Wi-Fi, a cute front deck, a nice kitchen, a pantry, a comfy bed, a reading chair, and more. I'm looking forward to hearing from you. So, to be clear, this person doesn't just want a dog sitter. They don't want a free dog sitter. They want a dog sitter who will pay them for the privilege of being a dog sitter. On this next post, this is an email that a customer service center received from a customer. Return Item Hi, I need help making a return, please.

I ordered my bundles individually gift wrapped because I thought that I was going to be giving them out to people at work, and I liked the idea of them coming gift wrapped, but I didn't see where it said that each gift wrap was an additional $2.99. When I paid, I thought the price seemed high, but I didn't question it because I trust you guys and I know you'll do the right thing. But when I got my order, I decided to just keep it all and not give them away as gifts, so it was pointless to order gift wrap anyways.

The packaging is really cute and I could recycle it or send it back to you guys if you pay postage. I saw that you were going to run a sale for Valentine's Day, and I was wondering if you could apply the Valentine's Day discount to my order as well since it's within 30 days. I don't want store credit. I just want my card paid. Thanks! Done in the comments, I'm going to read this post from Haunting Add. Here are the shelves from the eggs I used. I don't need them anymore, so I'm gonna need a refund. On this next post, OP says that he hasn't spoken to this girl since high school.

OP? Yeah? It's my birthday! Happy birthday! Thanks. Since I'm far away at the moment and I can't really see a lot of people, I just told people to cash at me 30 bucks. Oh, okay, that's cool.

So, do you want to send me some money? Then OP reacts with the laughing emoji. Why is that so funny? The laughing emoji? Why would I send you 30 bucks? Uh, it's my birthday? No, I will not send you 30 bucks. Then the choosing beggar started trying to talk back

and OP just blocked her. Then apparently she started complaining to all of talk back and OP just blocked her. Then apparently she started complaining to all of OP's friends that she blocked them. Hi, can you draw me? Yeah, I can draw you for 15 bucks. I can't pay. Oh, I'm sorry to hear that, but I do charge for my art, so have a nice day. Hello, this is the Choosing Beggar's mom.

They died from a car crash yesterday They wanted to say that they really liked your art. So can you draw them as a funeral gift? Oh no, my only child has died. Better go, I don't know, check his Twitter DMs to get some artists to give me free art That'll make the family feel better now that the child is dead. Post it on Discord. Can someone like Draw Me and I'll give you a shout out on my Instagram? I just want fan art low. Then post it 20 minutes later.

Okay, anyway, can someone actually draw me or draw how they view me? I want to post things on my Instagram story and give artists a shout out. No, please, I want people to see. Then later they post another message. If you see this in your in-artist, can you DM me? On this next post, OP is trying to sell his car for $4,200 on offer up.

He gets this offer. Would you trade your car for free cheeseburgers every Friday for 10 months? Or alternatively, I have like 80 or maybe 78 medical marijuana suppositories. Left over from when my grandma died, do you have any interest in those? I also have an Xbox one, but the disk drive won't read unless the house is under 60 degrees, or sometimes it works for 30 minutes if it's late at night. Wait, hold up, hold up. Medical marijuana suppositories?

Aren't suppositories things to go in your butt? Yes, suppositories are drugs to go inside your butthole. So this guy's really trying to trade cheeseburgers butt pot and a broken Xbox One for a car. Now I've got a mental image of like someone lighting, someone lighting a blunt and then putting it up to their pucker anus, inhaling something their buttole and then farting out a clack of smoke. Oh my god. Ane is inhaling something in their butthole and then farting out a clack of smoke. Oh my god. Also, I don't know if you guys care about the math, but I gotta look this up.

So free cheeseburgers every Friday for 10 months. So 10 months, times about 4 weeks, it's 40 times what's a burger? I don't know, like 5 bucks I guess, 5, 8 dollars or something? Guys, it kinda depends on how high quality the restaurant is. We'll say $5. That's $200 worth of cheeseburgers. For a $4200 car, is this dude nuts? I think his problem is he's...

I think this guy's problem is that he's been using too many of his dead grandmalls pots repositories and he's too high to make a coherent offer. That was our slash-choosing beggars, and if you liked this content, be sure to follow my podcast, because I'll put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day.