rSlash - r/Choosingbeggars "GIVE MY UNBORN BABY $25,000"

Episode Date: June 18, 2021

r/Choosingbeggars In today's episode, OP is asked to be a godfather for a friend's unborn baby. OP's friend sends over this long, unusual contract that spells out all the things he has to do in order to qualify for being a godfather. For example, he has to work as a free, unpaid babysitter for the child for 18 years. He also has to give the baby $25,000 for education, and even more money over the following 18 years. Why would you give someone money to become an unpaid babysitter-slave for life? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to R-Slash, a podcast where I read the best posts from across Reddit. Today's subreddit is R-Slash Choosing Beggars, where a parent expects a babysitter to pay him $18,000 for the privilege of being a babysitter. On this next post, a Choosing Beggar made a GoFundMe page because she wanted to buy tickets to take her two-year-old daughter to a Maryland Manson concert. Then she took to Facebook to complain. Choosing Beggar is feeling disgusted. I'm so grateful for the cash that we received for Aerie to see Marilyn Manson, but to see that no one has done anything on GoFundMe is just frustrating. Why the effort you guys so effing selfish? Ariel's photos get lags and people comment on how cute she is. But not one of you has made an effort to make this happen for her.

This isn't even for me, really. I've seen him five times in concert. This is for Ariel. Humans, you're all selfish self-righteous jerk-offs. Yeah, I'm a butthole, but I help people when I can. Y'all are lame. God dangit, you effing people. I'm taking her with or without anyone's help.

Lady, if you're taking your daughter with or without anyone's help, then why are you begging for help? Our next Reddit post is from CBPizz. This happened a few years ago, and it still irritates the heck out of me. My child attended a private school about 45 minutes from my town. Since there was no bus or public transportation,

the school provided a list of parent names and numbers so people could create their own carpools if they wanted. I worked halfway between my hometown and the school. So, I offered to drive the neighborhood kids to school every morning and pick them up every Friday afternoon, as long as the other three parents in the carpool could divide the four remaining afternoon pickups between them. This worked out great for two years, and I didn't mind doing it five mornings a week, as well as my half day on Friday afternoon. As long as the three other parents managed to get my kid back to our hometown the other four afternoons.

Since the three students I was driving graduated the previous year, I made my offer available to incoming freshman parents under the same agreement. Three new families took me up on it. We met at a parking lot in our town each morning at 6.30 a.m. so I could get the kids of school by 7.15 a.m. for a 7.30 a.m. start time. After about two weeks of driving daily, I had the following text conversation in our group chat with the other members of the carpool. Hi, I'm just checking in to see how things are going. So far so good. The reason I'm calling is that my daughter really likes to get to school at least 30-45

minutes before start time so she can talk to all of her friends. I spoke to the other parents in the carpool, and we all agreed to start meeting at 6 a.m. so the kids can arrive at school earlier. Sorry, but I'm not going to wake up 45 minutes earlier just so your cake and socialize before school. But the rest of us agreed that we could meet earlier. One of the other parents chimed in. Yeah, we can make that work.

Well, that's nice and all, but I'm the one who has to drive every morning. I have to shower and get ready for work before meeting up with you. Wow, you guys just dropped your kids off in sweats and slippers. I am not willing to change my schedule. That seems very selfish of you. My daughter says she's dressed out each day because she only has 15 minutes to get the home room and she never has time to get a coffee or a donut. The other parent agrees with me that earlier is better.

I don't know why you're being difficult. Allow me to be clear. This is never going to happen as long as I'm the one driving in the mornings. I don't think you should have complete control over everyone's schedule simply because you are willing to drive every morning. Well, since you all agreed, I suggest you guys figure out a way to get your kids to and from school between you. I'll make arrangements to get my kid home on my own going forward.

I never spoke to anyone in the carpal group again, and I've often wondered if the other parents were pissed or embarrassed that the choosing beggars screwed up a good thing for them. Or if they all really agreed that I should wake up earlier and thought that I was being selfish for wanting my beauty sleep. On this next post, OP sold something online, and as part of the order she threw in a couple of extra stickers. Hi there, we put extra stickers in every order, they're freebies, so you weren't charged for them. Oh, okay, the thing is, I won't use these stickers.

Can I send them back and pick something different? I'm so sorry that you don't like them, but unfortunately, it wouldn't be cost effective for you or me to send them back and mail out new ones. Those stickers are just my little way to say thank you for shopping with me. Again, I apologize that you aren't happy with them. So, that's a no? That's bad customer service. You should ask customers what stickers they want, rather than sending whatever you feel like shaking my head. I'm looking for a free play place for my kids. I refuse to shell out 500 bucks at home depot for one. It must have A, a slide, B, attached swings, C, a higher and lower platform, D, ropes a swing from, delivery only please. This Saturday would be the best day to come to my house, and if you

could install it too, I'd treat you to some lemonade. Also, make sure there are no nails or sharp objects that could hurt my boys, thanks in advance. I have one for you, call me on my cell so we can arrange delivery, here's my phone number. Hey, you gave me the wrong number, that's Lose. That's a hint, honey, they'll help you with what you need just fine. I'm reporting you grunt! So you gotta give up a $500 play set, disassemble it, load it into your truck, drive it to her house, unload it, install

it, but don't worry, you get some sweet citrus water. Actually, down in the comments, people were saying that $500 is really low, so I looked it up and sheah. These things can go anywhere from $1000 to $15,000. This next post originally comes from R-Slasch and my The Butthole, but it really fits in R-Slasch using beggars. Am I the Butthole for refusing to be my friends, babies godfather, after I was given a legally binding contract to sign with requirements attached? So my wife is from another country, and we met a couple where the husband is from the

same country as my wife. We've all been great friends for almost 9 years now. We've done a lot together, and there are best friends hands down. The husband has no living family members. Well, the wife is pregnant with a baby girl. For the sake of this story, we'll call the child Jane. The husband asked me if I could be Jane's godfather. I should note that they Godfather. I should note

that they're Catholic. I was honored. My friend was thrilled, and the next day he dropped off an envelope with some papers in it. After he left, I looked at the document, and it was a legal contract that I would have to sign in order to be Jane's Godfather. Obviously, I thought that this was a bit overboard, but I gave it a read anyways. It had a list of things that I must do as a godfather. For example, I have to attend every Catholic event that Jane attends, such as christening, confession, confirmation, etc. And I know that these are normal events for a Catholic kids life. It's not a big deal.

But then we got to the ridiculous things. I have to convert to Catholicism, and I have to give a gift of at least $500 to Jane during each of these events. On each one of Jane's birthdays and on each Christmas, I have to give Jane over $250. Oh no, it gets worse. I am expected to save at least $25,000 and set it aside for Jane's future college tuition. Jane's parents will provide the rest. Seriously? The list goes on to include various other things, like I have to be willing to cancel my

plans if they need me to watch Jane or if they want to go on vacation. There were also a bunch of other things on the list that were silly or not a big deal, like spending time with Jane at least once a week. I called my friend and said it was nothing personal, but there was no way that I was going to sign this. He got mad at me and said that I'm the only family they have, and that I should be thankful and honored to be asked this. I told him that I was honored, but that this contract was extreme and ridiculous, especially when it came to the money involved. He brought up that he knows that I'm my niece's godfather and that I send her money, and he's right about that I do. I send my niece about 100 bucks a year. I told my friend that there's a big

difference between 100 bucks and tens of thousands of dollars over 18 years. He essentially told me that he thought that I was a good guy, but it was apparent that I was selfish. He has since blocked my number and my email. His wife has too. Mind you, his wife and my wife talk almost every day. I shredded the papers he gave me, put the pieces in a bag, and then put the bag in his mailbox. I wrote a note saying that it was a shame that he ruined a friendship over ridiculous demands.

I told him I I forgive him regardless. Lastly, I should point out that together, this couple makes almost $200,000 a year. My wife and I make not even $35,000 a year. So am I the butthole for refusing to be Jane's godfather? Oh, P, this guy basically expects you to pay him to be a free babysitter for life for like all 18 years. This is quite possibly the worst deals in the history of deals. Your friend is a major entitled choosing beggar. I'm giving you 0 out of 5 buttholes.

I'm giving your friend 4 out of 5 buttholes. Good morning, my friend mentioned that you have an opening for babysitting weekend nights. Hey, I do have openings now. My name is blank by the way. I'm actually open Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. Send me some details when we can do a demo if you want. He has perfect, I'm Karen. We'd be interested in all those days from about 6 p.m. to midnight.

We have four girls all under 5 years old. We'd be interested in all those days from about 6 p.m. to midnight. We have four girls all under 5 years old. While it's a lot, I promise that they're angels. I'm sure they are, and I can't wait to meet them. I can probably do two of those nights. I don't want to give up every weekend night if you understand. We would really need you for all three nights. Pretty please.

Okay, no promises on all three nights, but I'd say I would try. As for the price, for four kids, I'd say that would be about 30 bucks an hour. We were told that you're expensive. My heavy and I decided on 15 bucks an hour with a possible bonus. So about the babies, we'd expect you to have them bathed, diapid, and asleep by 8pm. They are angels, so it should be easy. They need to be put in nighttime diapers, not the day ones, or you'll get lots of leaks low.

You should probably wait as long as you can before bath time, because my oldest likes to poop right before bedtime, low. Whoa, hold on a second, I'm not doing 15 bucks an hour for 4 kids. I can negotiate a little, but that's just too low. Also are none of them potty trained or is it just nighttime diapers? Hmm, let me talk to my happy, 30 is way too high, low, that's ridiculous. Her oldest is in pull-up, so she's almost there. But she still poops in them?

How old are the other kids? Also 30 bucks is my rate, it's pretty competitive in my area. My husband says 25 for the first two hours and 10 for the rest of the nights and still be sleeping. I have twin 2 year olds, a 3 year old and a 4 year old. I swear that you'll love them. That is still 90 bucks a night, LMAO. It's the same thing as 15 bucks an hour. Also, because babies are known for sleeping through the night, I'm willing to go to

25 bucks an hour, but that's really it. But the bone is, do a good job and you can get more. Tomorrow would be perfect for a demo. Hobby and I will both be home, come over around 11. With that time it'll be perfect. You can do most of the diaper changes, cover nap time, bathe them and put them to bed. That's an absurd demo time. I normally do demos for like an hour or two. I doubt that we'll come to an agreement on this. Thanks, but no thanks. But we want you, my friends, that you were amazing.

What can we do to get you? Pay me, lol. We want someone who loves our kids and isn't in a just for the money. Pretty, please. I don't want to tell my friend about how bad you are to us, but I will. 100% no. Good luck getting someone to babysit four kids and diapers for that cheap. Please do tell your friend about this because I'm going to send her a screenshot to this myself.

When this lady said, we went someone who loves our kids and isn't in it for the money. Lady, that person is you and your husband. Do you really expect some complete stranger, probably a teenage girl to just randomly love your kids when they'd never even met them? Why would anyone want to be elbow deep in baby poo for free? Our next breaded post is from Warlazy. Short backstory, we used to live in a different country, but we moved to Europe, and since then we've gotten too many free loaders from our old life coming here for free accommodation. We currently live in a large five-bit room house on a farm in the mountains. It's a small town in the middle of Europe, so it's

super peaceful, but we're so close enough to the capital city and other hubs. We used to live in a big city in another country, and we still have a lot of family and friends there. We've lived here for close to 20 years now, and during those first few years, we'd get a steady stream of people coming to stay with us on the pretext. It's sooo good to see you again. Between June and August, we'd have one group leave and another arrive. Hospitality being what it is, we never asked these people to pay for their stay, and they never offered.

The first year was bearable, but after 3 or 4 years of this, we're over it. These free-loading leeches had other family and friends within a few hours of us. And we heard from some of those people that these free-loaders plan their entire travel-ite inner area according to where they could stay and eat for free. Consistently abusing our culture of hospitality. After three or four years of being a free bit in breakfast, news got back to us about how cheap we are. We're a family of five, so when you get a second, entire family that comes in, that's a whole lot of mouth to feed.

We'd often cook up a large pot of meat and vegetables stew with homemade bread or large roast. We'd also try to take our guests to a local attraction. So imagine when news got back to us that, apparently, we crammed their whole family into one room, gave them gross food, and took them to boring places. Some of these free loaders even complained that they left our house hungry. One family even lost a valuable piece of digital equipment, and they accused my kids of stealing it.

They later found the item in the car of another friend, but they didn't bother apologizing for their accusations. Not all of our out-of-town guests were bad though. There have been a few that we actually invited to come back. The others have never been invited back, and if they call, we ask them if we can make a reservation for them at a local hotel. I am so sick of kicking one or more of my kids out of their rooms to accommodate choosing beggars and then have their junk all over my house. They take all of your hospitality and expect more, then have the nerve to complain that you don't offer enough food, that we don't have the right drinks or snacks, and that it's boring here. Needless to say, ever since we're no longer available as a free destination,

we're the ones being called cheapskates by choosing beggars who come to Europe and not pay a single night's accommodation in a hotel because they look for suckers to take them in for free. We don't care, as long as they don't come here. O.P., that sounds super frustrating, and actually, me and my wife are planning to go to Europe later this month. How about we stop by for a couple of nights, Rand-free, and you can complain all you want to about these rude choosing beggars. Hello, can I post your artwork? I always ask artists to pay $7 for a publication.

Is that possible for you? Can I do a payment in DN? What is DN? D's nuts! That was our slash choosing beggars and if you like this content you can subscribe to my podcast to unlock extra episodes. Also be sure to follow this podcast because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day.