rSlash - r/Choosingbeggars JOB OPENING: PhD required. Pay: $0

Episode Date: February 5, 2021

r/Choosingbeggars Are you ready for an exciting new career with CHOOSING BEGGARS INCORPORATED?! We've got a great new job opening for a qualified candidate who has a PhD and 20 years of work experience. The pay is only $0 to start, but if you work here you will be rewarded with a sense of pride and accomplishment! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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where we have the world's worst job posting. Our next reddit post is from Vimeem. I was scrolling through Facebook when I saw a post about a woman screwing over a family on a local buy-and-swap group. There's always loads of these types of posts, and I'm never usually interested, but I recognize this woman's name. A few years ago, I worked in a call center for a major mobile phone provider in the UK

and the incoming upgrade department. People would call us with questions and we had to try to get them an upgrade. Nicole was an all-right person for all of one month while working there. She asked me to cover her shift so she could hold her father's hand as he laid dying in the hospital. And I agreed so I didn't end up looking and feeling like a dick. The day comes where I cover her shift, and on my way to work I get a text from her with her phone login details.

Each employee has an A number long code that was unique to them to log into the phone signal computer to take calls and input customer data. I thought it was weird that she texted it to me, but I ignored that detail. I had a fantastic day that day for upgrades. I managed to get 16 upgrades, two accessories and three new lines, which made me eligible for that month's bonus. Nicole returns to work the next day and asked me how her shift went. She never thanked me.

So I told her I had an amazing day and I got that month's bonus in one day. She was extremely excited for me, or so I thought. The day the pay slip to release, Nicole came to my computer to ask why the bonus wasn't showing up on her or pay slip. I told her it was on my pay slip because I was the one who earned it and she says, Oh, I thought you were using my phone because it was my shift. That's all right, I'll just take half. Do you want my bank details so you can transfer it? Wow, just wow. No, Nicole, I'm not giving you anything. She turned on me something awful, calling me a horrible B word and cursing my family for

keeping her money from her. So I took it to my team leader and Nicole apologized. And then the next day she asked me for 25% of my bonus for letting me cover her ship and having that great day. She gets a firm no. But she decides that that must mean that I'll buy her dinner for 10 days because that's the least that I can do in the least that she deserves. Her words, not mine. She let me know this when she added tons of food to her order and got five drinks and told

the lady that I'd pay. She even tried walking off with her tray. She got shouted back by at least five other people and I finally told her to screw off or I'll go to HR. Down in the comments someone asked, did her dad survive and OP replies. His dad was defending her on Facebook, so I don't think he was ever ill to begin with now. Hello there, I seem to be interested in your commissions. Do you accept B-Tubers? If so, then can we communicate on a payment plan? I don't have any money

with me right now, but I can shout you out to my Twitch account that has 50,000 followers. I'm sure you'll get a lot of exposure and people will commission you, thanks in advance. Let me know if you're available. Hello there, yeah, I'm available for commissions, but I don't accept exposure or shout outs for it because I need the funds I'll have to decline your offer. No, you don't understand. I'm selective with the people who I offer this opportunity to Think about the exposure you'll get. Take the time to think. No, thanks I'm really not interested in working for free. Did you want me to expose to my hundreds of followers how stingy you are? I'll expose you on Twitch if people won't commission you for being so stingy. Good bye!

Here's the thing about Twitch. If this streamer were actually big enough for that threat to mean anything, then this streamer would also be big enough to be able to afford paying for these services. Hi, is the Piano still up for sale? Yeah, I've had offers for about $1500, but the asking price is about $2,000. Would you do $1,000? Ha, no, lol. I've had offers for $1,500. Why would I go down to $1,000?

Please, it's nearly Christmas and I'm kinda low on money right now. Why are you buying a $2,000 pound Piano if you're low on money? You. Why are you buying a 2,000 pound piano if you're low on money? You know what, you're a scumbag taking people's money near Christmas, you scammer! Ah yes, the oldest scam known to mankind. Selling an item for its actual value. I'll pay $60. What?

For the PlayStation. Just the PlayStation? No, everything. I'm ha $60. What? For the PlayStation. Just the PlayStation? No, everything. I'm haggling. Yeah, my ad said the PlayStation 4 has two controllers, a PSVR setup, and three games for $300. I said in the ad, no haggling. I won't respond anymore after this text.

I'm reporting your ad. It's getting taken down because you can't reach a deal. We're looking for a site engineer in turn to join our company. The following are the requirements. 1. A BE slash B-Tech. 2. You should be based in blank. 3. You should have a laptop or PC in case of work from home. 4. Should have a bike to visit the site. 5. A male candidate is preferred. Note, this is NOT a paid internship. Interested candidate should send your resume through a personal message and LinkedIn.

So, to all those lady tech workers out there who would rather work for free than make a hundred K a year at a normal tech job? Sorry. This job just isn't for you. Tech is a man's field, sweetheart, and only men have the balls to work for free. Actually, I'm surprised I don't want to hire any women because anyone who shows up to this job interview clearly has no balls. On this next post, OP is practicing web development so you offer to make websites for free. I've made your website. Here's the OneDrive link, I hope you like it. One drive link, give me the hosting server. Well, I've given you the source code, you'll have to buy your own domain in hosting, I thought that was a given.

Brut WTF, is this a joke? That's not what you call free, not even a domain like seriously. Jeez calm down, I've made you a whole freaking website and I'm giving you the source code for free. Now you want me to pay for the domain and hosting too? You said you'd make a complete website. This is not complete and you're asking me to pay, how was that free? You wasted my time middle finger emoji. What?

How did I waste your time? You're literally getting hundreds of dollars of free stuff. Be grateful for that. Be grateful for that. Dude, you be grateful that I'm not exposing you in front of my followers. You deserve to be harassed for false advertising. Dude, for reals, are you even hearing yourself? How old are you? And go ahead, expose me in front of your 130 followers. If you, you're a dead bee, we're just wait and watch. Done in the comments, K-Pop glory sums it up best. What do you mean I have to hire people to build the house? It's not enough that I got free bricks from your construction company.

Now you want me to pay for building me a house with your free bricks, get out of here. You said free house bricks, I must get the house too. Metrolinx and cross links are reminding everyone to be careful, as Eglinton Crosstown LRT train testing is in progress. Please be alert, this trains can pass at any time on the tracks. Remember to follow all traffic signals, be careful along our tracks and only make left turns where it's safe to do so. Be alert, be aware, and stay safe. even glowing skin, then harness the brightening power of vitamin C and get your glow on with Garnier vitamin C brightening serum.

A highly concentrated serum formulated with german gradients such as vitamin C, niacinamide and salicylic acid, visibly smooth skin texture, even out the look of skin tone and boost glow. All in just two weeks with Garnier vitamin C brightening serum like Garnier naturally. Shop now on Amazon.ca Does anyone in the blank area watch kids? I'm looking for someone to watch my one year old. I want to start this transition from his current sitter to a new one around spring and summer.

My son will be around one and a half by then. I'm looking for someone who charges $100 or less a week who's available from 7.30am to 6.30pm, 4 days a week, no weekends. I would provide food and snacks throughout the day. And in case you're curious on the math, that comes out to $2.27 an hour. Plus snacks. Our next bread at Postes from Neco Girl. I work at an office and this happened a few days before Christmas break started.

As parents, and even just as young working adults, we all want to get our Christmas vacation time to relax. My company gives everyone a bonus three vacation days every Christmas holiday on top of the three weeks we get each year. It's very kind of them to do that for us. This story has three characters, me, my boss, and the choosing beggar. So choosing beggar is a type of guy who doesn't care much about anything except for money. He's constantly asking for raises, even though

his work is garbage. He never brings in any food to the party when we host special occasions, and he takes more than his share when co-workers bring in snacks and goodies. He's that kind of person. Another thing is that he's always taking days off. He blew all of his three weeks of vacation time back in February and nowadays when he takes days off he just doesn't get paid. This really makes him angry especially when he comes back to a lot of work needing to get done. This Christmas holiday, choosing Becker got especially snoddy about Christmas vacations. He constantly talked to my boss about the Christmas vacations and asked to everyone else what they were going to do with theirs.

It wasn't really against the rules, but it did make us just a little bit uncomfortable. So one day I was walking to the little kitchen we've gotten our office and I walked past my boss's office and I heard, I don't want three days, I want all the days off. It was choosing Beggar's voice. I knew he was probably chewing my boss out for more vacation days and it wasn't really my business so I just walked off. Well a few hours later it was everyone's business. The Choosing Beggar kept walking up to people and complaining about his vacations.

Everyone else had saved their vacation days, especially for the time of the year. And when Choosing Beggar heard they had enough time to take the entire week off, he marched to my boss's office and started demanding more vacation days. I think in the end, my boss just told him to take the days off if he wanted them because the office was a lot quieter after that. Fast forward to this Monday.

So the Choosing Becker came back to work after leaving the office for two weeks and he looked really mad. I knew that my boss had emailed everyone their paychecks over the holidays, so I was guessing it had something to do with that. My boss's office is just a few doors down, and if you yell, everyone can hear you. Which is why the entire office heard this conversation.

It went like this. Dude, you owe me money. I'm gonna sue you for not paying me. The boss replied, I already mailed you your check. You mailed me half. You're trying to stiff me. I paid you everything for all the time you've worked. No, I calculated everything and it's missing roughly four months of pay.

Since you took the days off, I didn't pay you. For the holiday season, I paid you half for every single day you took off and I wasn't supposed to do that. You actually got an extra week of paid vacation. That's a privilege. Well, it's not enough. That extra four months had better be in my account by next week or I'm reporting you. What happened next was something that was pretty shocking. By now, everyone's heads were poking out of the offices listening in and who could blame them. To everyone's surprise, my boss didn't fire the guy. He just said, I don't owe you money for time you haven't worked.

If you won, I'll take out that extra week's pay. Choosing beggar stormed out of my boss's office, ignored everyone watching him and left. I haven't seen him since, and I'm not sure if he's taking more vacation days or finding a new job. My boss said he hadn't officially quit, but we're still waiting to see. And then Opie posted an edit. The part that you've all been waiting for, drumroll please. Today, choosing Beger came back to the office looking pleased with himself. I was headed to the washroom when he stopped and grabbed my hand and said, guess who's here to pick up his four months paycheck? Really, smugly.

I knew my boss had something up his sleeve, or honestly he better have, so I forgot all about the washroom and went back to my office and pretended to do work. The conversation between my boss and choosing beggar was pretty long. It started out friendly, and then four minutes into the conversation, choosing beggar asked for the paycheck and my boss says, you had some nerve coming over here to ask for that paycheck. You want vacations, you'll get vacations. You can leave now. Go anywhere you want, I don't care. You're fired. Honestly, the look on the Choosing Beggar's face was priceless. One of my coworkers even videotaped the thing and sent it to us. It was the best day of

my life, because even though I've got a bit more work now, at least there's no choosing beggar in the office. I'm looking for a dog sitter for my golden retriever, full time. Hey, I have a golden retriever and I'm looking for a trustworthy dog sitter that I can count on to look after my dog when I'm gone away on vacation. My trips range from a weekend adventure where sometimes I might be gone for one to two weeks. I'm looking for someone who has experience looking after dogs and is active since my boy likes to go for walks. I won't be offering very much for this service since I think having a dog to cut a width for a couple of days is well worth a price.

Please send me a message if you think this is a good fit for you. I don't know man, if some stranger wanted to watch my dog for free, that would just make me really nervous. Like, why? Why do you want access to my dog for free? I'd rather just pay a professional a reasonable salary and have the comfort that my dog is being watched over by someone who knows what they're doing. Giving away a chest of drawers for free. Hi, are the door units still available please? If so, I'd like them both. How rude of you! Instead of saying it's gone, you just delete the advert. Errogance is the byproduct of ignorance. Sorry, I'd already delete the ad before you

message me. I think you messaged me at just the wrong time. Also, arrogance is the byproduct of ignorance is the Pontius most petty, entitled response I can imagine to not getting some free IKEA furniture because you were too late. I hope your life gets better. My life is good, thank you. Even your reply to my opinion is poor. You're obviously a very degenerated individual indeed. Let's hope 2021 allows you some degree of eloquation. Big word unraveled for you. Best to Google it. The best thing about this pose is that eloquation has to do with speaking, not writing.

So he's not even using the word correctly. I just love how this guy is trying to talk like he's a member of the British royalty when he's begging for free furniture. Also, I just noticed he used the wrong YOR. He says, you're obviously a very degenerated individual indeed, spelled, why you are. Why is it that the dumbest people always think that they're the smartest person in the room? Job posting, requirements, masters degree,, PhD preferred and statistics, operations, research, computer science, machine learning, or other related fields, and a minimum of 12 years related work

experience. Five plus years working with statistical modeling techniques, extensive experience and modeling, signal processing, innovation, and multidisciplinary approaches. Five plus years involvement in data science, solution implementation within customer-impacting product solutions. Knowledge of the financial word, market and trading are preferred, but not required. We're a startup Fintech company with a beta product in the market. This position is currently non-paid, however, we offer a generous option package.

Email us your resume and cover letter. So, to be clear, a generous option package. Email us your resume and cover letter. So to be clear, if you have a PhD and 12 years of work experience, that means that you're at least 40 years old. And they expect someone with that much experience and a technical field to just work for free? Down in the comments, a couple of people who work in this industry have made posts, and according to them, a job like this would normally command a salary of about $250,000. That was our slash using beggars, and if you like this content, check out my Patreon where

I publish episodes that were banned from YouTube. Also, be sure to follow my podcast, because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day. every single day.