rSlash - r/Choosingbeggars Karen: "CLEAN MY HOUSE FOR FREE"

Episode Date: February 6, 2023

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Welcome to our slash-choosing beggars, where a Karen expects free housing, free transportation, and free food. The title of the next post is, I'm literally shaking right now. What are my good friends asked for a favor? If her sister-in-law could stay in my guest room in Miami for her BBL appointment? BBL, is that Brazilian booty lift, I think? Hi, Blank gave me your number. I'm Karen, so-and-so's wife. I've heard so much about you.

Blank loves you. Hey there. Yeah, she would. I love Blank too. I've also heard a lot about you too. Are you super excited for your mommy makeover? Oh my God, yes. I feel like I've been planning it forever, and it's finally here.

I'm sure Blank probably gave you the rundown, but I land on the 24th. The surgery date is a 26, but my pre-app appointment is the 25th. Then February 1st would be my only follow-up before going home. Oh, you have? I'm sure it can be stressful. So I'm literally right next to the FLL airport. Can you give me the address of your doctor's office so I can see where it is from my place? Sure, here's the address.

Oh wow, that's pretty far. That's a 45 minute drive, but with traffic, that's easily an hour and a half from me. Well, this is what I need. Obviously, I ride from the airport when I get there. Then, I ride from my pre-op. And then another ride for my surgery day and a ride back that day as well, along with another ride to my only post-op on the 1st of February. Also, a ride to the airport when I leave. Hmm, maybe you'd be able to use my car for the non-surgery appointments because

that's like a two, three hourhour journey from me out of the day and I still have to work. I work from home, but I wouldn't be able to take that much time out of the day that many days if that makes sense. Also, I couldn't take time off with this coming so soon, next week. No, I don't drive. I don't have my license either. You couldn't tell your job that you need to take me to the doctors. I mean, for one day, probably, but you need to go two days in a row, and one day, I need to wait for you while you get your surgery and then drive back. Typically, I could take my laptop and work from somewhere, but we're right in the middle of launching our brand new membership, so I'm in meetings constantly all day.

You couldn't just Uber there? What? Uber an hour and 45 minutes away? This whole thing was for me to save money since the operation itself cost me over my budget. I budgeted for a hotel near there, but the procedure ate into my cost. And also, I'm totally cool with you staying in my guest room for a few days. But after surgery, you'd need some kind of caretaker of some sorts. I wouldn't be able to do that.

Also, would you just door dash food to yourself while you're here? How would all this work? You don't cook? What do you eat? I'll cook sometimes, but my boyfriend and I will go out with friends. Go out to eat, do takeout, eat at his moms, etc. So we'd need to be in charge of feeding you too.

Well, you guys are eating anyways. I don't get what the hassle is. David said that he could give you $100 to take me to my appointments. I'm sorry, but it's not about the money. You caught me at an extremely busy time. Last night, I didn't close my laptop until 1.30am. We're about to launch our membership product, and I can't risk not being able to make a meeting with your doctor's office being that far. I don't want to be mean, but you guys just laid all this on me last minute. I can't just reorganize my priorities. Wow, so basically blank

lied to me. Cool, okay. I don't know what Blink said to you, but I'm letting you know that my guest room and bathroom is 1,000% open for you to stay in while you're in town. You'd need to get your own transportation to and from your appointments and provide your own food while you're here. Anything else I can't do. Use your thinking brain. If I have to Uber six times, there and back, and it's an hour away, it'll cost as much as getting a hotel next door. What part of saving money by doing this do you not understand?

The part where you want me to take 10 hours out of work, scattered across different days, short notice, during an extremely busy week for me. That's the part I don't understand. I'm even extending my vehicle for you to use. Bring a friend with a driver's license and have them drive you with my car to your appointments. Wow, lol, okay.

Let me just pay a ticket for someone to come to Miami with me for free. This is insane! Now what am I going to do? Everything's been scheduled and paid for. Oh no Karen, what are you gonna do? Well, I guess you'll have to use your thinking brain and figure it out. Also, I love that. Such a brilliant strategy. Her method for saving money is to get you to spend money on her. What a great idea! Why didn't I think of that? Who needs money on housing and transportation and buying food when OP can just buy all that stuff for you? Then OP posted an update, and in this update, it's not a conversation between OP and the Karen, it's a conversation between

Karen and OP's friend who I think said everything up, but I'm not 100% sure it could be a different friend who somehow involved. The friend says, hi, I was helping out Blank in the yard, you rang? So I'm not going to be able to get my Brazilian booty lift done next week anymore. Oh my god, why? OP said that I'd be able to stay at her place, so I said, okay cool, and I booked my travel and paid my first deposit. I was supposed to land next week, but now, allegedly, there's some big thing going on at OP's work.

OP is a liar, and I just can't deal with it. Wait, so you're not able to stay at her place because of that? Nope. Wretched B word. She says she has some big thing at her place because of that? Nope. Richid be word. She says she has some big thing at work. Like, give it up. You work from home. You don't even have a real a-

a- job. That's a rich insult coming from a woman who's literally planning on getting a fake butt. Yeah, well, you don't have a real a- a- a- Anyways, back to the text messages.

Hashtag boss babe. And OP tells me this all the time, like she'll make plans or promise to do this and that, and always barks and never follows through. Misurable be word. Karen, stop. Plans fell through. You can't let that stop you from getting your surgery.

I know you're mad, but talk with OP about this when you're level-headed. It'll all work out. Breathe. Next week you'll be laughing at this with your waist-snatched baby. I can't believe this! A big work project? Sure you do! It's not even a real job.

She's a boss babe, worst excuse ever. I probably would have admired her more had she just said no and not made up some imaginary work emergency. I understand you're mad, but don't be mean. OP has never been anything but nice to me and very, very generous while here. I'm sure that it was a miscommunication or something. Ha, exactly you see, generous? The wet towel buys her friends because if she didn't, no one would want to be around her.

Good heavens! Always promising stuff and never coming through. Couldn't be me. I'm not comfortable continuing this conversation if you're going to continue talking like that about OP. Are you being serious right now? Put yourself in my shoes! This is my life, my money, and most of all my effing mental health.

And I'm the bad one. This next post is a conversation between OP who does fitness plans and a male Karen. Hey, are you still doing fitness plans? I'm looking to get one for my wife as a late Christmas presence. I am indeed what kind of plan are you looking for? Just a general weight loss plan. Do you do meal plans as well? If you do, I'd like to pick up one of those as well. I can do both meal plans and exercise plans. For a combined fitness and meal plan, it's $50.

Sweet! Gotta get some new recipes for the new year! Ha ha ha ha! So, does that sound good to you? Yeah, for sure. Also, do you think you can get it done before tomorrow? She's leaving with her friends for a getaway thing, and I want to give it to her in person before she goes. I mean, I suppose if I started on it now, I could get it done by around 3-4

pm tomorrow. Is that okay? Also, can I get your wife's measurements, height, weight, age, activity level, etc. to calculate how many calories she burns. This is for the meal plan. That time sounds good. Also, I know you're not gonna like the sound of this, but I don't actually know her measurements exactly. And if I asked her, it would kinda ruin the surprise and seem kind of offensive.

If I had to guess, she's around 160 pounds, five foot six, 34, and doesn't really leave the house apart from going shopping. Okay, I suppose I can work with that. If she has any exercise preferences or injuries, please let me know. Then the next day, OP says, Hi, the fitness plan is ready now. Do you have an email so I can send it to you? As for payment, my PayPal is such and such.

Ugh, I'll be getting paid on the second of January, so I'll be able to pay you then. Okay, I'll send you the plan upon payment. Is there any chance you'd be able to send it today? My wife is hitting out in an hour, and I don't want her to leave empty handed. If you're able to send me a deposit of 30 bucks, then I'll send it to you. I never send any plans without payment. I'm sorry if it's inconvenient for you, but it's my personal policy. Please have faith.

I promise you I'll pay on the second. My marriage isn't a bad enough spot as it is, and I can't afford to be embarrassed again. I already told her that she'd be getting a present today. Please, I need this. I'm sorry, but if you can't afford to pay for a fitness plan, then I'm not going to be able to give it to you. You asked me to make you a fitness plan on very short notice over the Christmas period. Usually, I would have added an additional fee for a rushed order, but this time I decided

to give you a bit more leeway. I'm sorry, but I can't make any more concessions. I don't understand why you'd agree on a prize despite knowing you wouldn't be able to pay for it. If you had a wife, you'd understand. If you made it, I don't understand why you're withholding it from me when you made it. My marriage is at stake here, and you're not sending it to me. Do you take some kind of pleasure from this? Why are you being difficult on purpose? I'm sorry, but I can't send it to you without payment. I don't make fitness plans for fun,

and this is my job. Tell your wife that her late Christmas present will have to come a little later. Go to hell! Wait, hold on, hold on. This guy's marriage is on the rocks. He already missed getting her a Christmas present, so he's already in trouble. Then he lied to her and says, you know, I'm going to get to a present and he's not going to get her a present. And then when the present finally comes, it's surprised, sweetie. You're too fat. Lose some f***** of weight.

Love you, sweetie. I uh... I think I'm starting to get a sense for why this guy's marriage is on the rocks. Our next reddit post comes from R-slashamai the bad guy. Am I the bad guy for telling my neighbor to f off after she demanded that I clean her house? I'm a Latina woman married to an American man. We live in a small community in Florida where most people are nice and kind to me.

For context, I love cleaning. I like trying new cleaning products just for fun. A couple of times, I've offered to clean other people's houses free of charge just to help them. Among them, a widow who recently lost her husband of 50 years, a neighbor who has a baby and a three-year-old daughter, and another neighbor who had a car accident. I go to their house and clean for them once or twice a week. A few days ago, I was sitting on my couch when I heard someone knocking on my door.

It was odd because we have a doorbell. I opened the door, and this lady, like 40 years old, whom I've seen just a couple of times said, it took you a while to open the door. I looked at her like I didn't understand what she just said and mumbled. Huh? She then asked me in the most entitled tone. I want to know when you're going to clean my house for free. At that point, I was trying not to laugh and I just asked her, why would I do that? She then mentioned all the other houses in the neighborhood that I'd cleaned and wanted to know why I haven't been to her house yet. She then yelled at me loud enough to make my next door neighbor come outside to see what

was going on. She was yelling at me because I wasn't replying to her. I was trying to process how on earth this woman thought that she had the right to come to my house and demand that I clean her house for free. I just said, I am never going to clean your house. I'm not the neighborhood's maid. I've only helped a few people. She then demanded that I help her. And at this point, I had enough. So I just said, F off and I closed the door.

Later that day, when my husband got home, she ran to him and told him that I'm a rude person and how I yelled at her. When I explained to him what happened, he told me that I shouldn't have talked to her like that. And next time I should be nicer. Am I the bad guy? Hopey, what? Next time you should be nicer, nicer to the person who's demanding free slave labor? Why? Hopey, at first I was really upset about the Karen, now I'm really upset about your husband. You're just sitting at home, minding your your own business and this woman comes to your door and it costs you and

yells at you in your own home telling you to do work for her for free and your husband's like well you should have been nice or sweetie. What? Well then why don't you be nice and go clean our house husband. Opie maybe you could tell him to f off too. Opie you could zero out of 5 bad guys. I'm giving the neighbor one out of 5 bad guys and your husband two out of 5 bad guys. Posted to Facebook. Parat boarding needed. We're leaving for 8 days and we're hoping to find someone you can babysit our rose-breasted

cockatoo while we're gone. You don't necessarily have to have experience. Just a genuine curiosity and care for animals in general. A desire to connect with a loving, intelligent creature. Our bird is not a caged weller. She'll go into her cage at night and you can put her in there for a few hours if you have to be gone, but she definitely needs to have free time out and about. You're gonna have to be okay with bird poop. Fortunately, it doesn't sting and it doesn't really stain either. Just lots of wiping up here and there. Please, no dogs or cats. I love them both, and I'm sure

that yours are the sweetest, but it's just not a mix that I'm comfortable with. Please, no children under, let's say, eight. If a human is unable to read the bird's body language, it's just not good for anyone involved. And please, only consider if you plan on being home for Christmas. Like I said, you can leave for a few hours, up to about 6 hours I would say, but anything beyond that would be stressful for her. I know all this is a lot to ask for, but on the off chance or someone who fits all the criteria and would like to hang out with a sweet, beautiful parrot for a week, it could be a very mutually beneficial thing. She really is a sweetheart and once she settles in and gets to know you a little, she'll snuggle

with you, perch on your shoulder, and whisper sweeten-nothings in your ear. I can provide the cage and I'll pay a hundred bucks. Let me know. That's what, like, 15 bucks a day to wipe up bird-doodoo on your Christmas vacation constantly, that seems like a, like, 15 bucks a day to wipe up bird doodoo on your Christmas vacation constantly? That seems like a pretty shitty deal. Pun intended. In the comments of that Facebook post, OP is getting ripped to shreds. You may want to change your price. It's a big request to ask someone to take a bird into their home, especially if it's

gonna poop everywhere. My pet sitter is almost 100 bucks a night during holidays, and that's for an 80 pound dog in my home. OP replies, LUL, I'm not trying to hire a professional service. A hundred bucks to have an awesome companion for a week is more than enough, and I've gotten plenty of interest in it, but thank you for all of your unsolicited opinions. That was our slash-choosing beggars, and if you for all of your unsolicited opinions.