rSlash - r/Choosingbeggars Seeking Friend - YOU MUST HAVE 130+ IQ!

Episode Date: May 17, 2022

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Welcome to our slash-choosing beggars, where you have to pay $1,000 for the honor of shoveling cat turds. Posted to Facebook, short-term rental plus cat sitting for one month. Here's your chance for an affordable escape and blank at the most desirable time, sunny but not too hot. We'll be traveling from May 30 to June 22nd, looking for a trustworthy person, family, or small group with references to stay in our home and take care of our two cats. Our place offers a king bedroom, a queen bedroom, two full bathrooms, a work-at-home office, a big deck for dining and lounging, a gas barbecue, an above-ground pool, and a huge yard. Where is it?

It's a quiet residential neighborhood, only about five minutes walk from all shops and services and the suburbs of Blank 20 minutes drive from the beach. It's a five-minute bike ride to a gorgeous creekside path. There are dozens of wineries within a 20-minute drive. There's golf, hiking, mountain biking. What we're asking you for? You pay $1,000 for the three-week stay to cover some of our costs of insurance, electricity, etc. You'll also look after two young cats. Feed them on their existing schedule, bring them inside by dark, brush them daily, scoop the cat box, keep the house clean, clean the pool. Don't worry about the yard or garden because we have built-in sprinklers.

No smoking or vaping indoors. PME for details and we'll chat on the phone. You mean I get to shovel catch and clean the pool and I only have to pay you a thousand dollars a month? Sign me up! Actually it's not a thousand dollars a month, it's a,000 for only 3 weeks of doing your chores for you. Hello fellow university students, my name is Blink. Let me introduce myself. I was my high school's valedictorian. My SAT score and ACT score are 1590 and 36 respectively. I'm also a member of Mensa, an organization that you're allowed to enter

for an IQ above 135. Unfortunately, in my high school years, I couldn't find people to hold an intellectual conversation with, so I was very bored. So I'm hoping things will be different at this university. To start things off, I like to discuss epistemology, cosmology, and quantum physics. I also like to build electronics in my free time. I'm also seeking a female companion of my intellectual caliber. I queue above 135 preferably. My bottom line is 130. Please don't waste my time. Thanks for reading. And then, gosh, I don't

know what this is. This person writes some sort of like profile for themselves. Name, blank, sex, male, pronouns. I don't believe in that nonsense. Oh, I think it's like a, like a, what is the word for this? I think this is like a posting where people say, hey, this is who I am. If you want to room with me and a dorm, I can be your roommate and here's like info about me. I'm a mechanical engineer. I've worked with industry professionals in Raytheon and Northrop Grumman in my high school years to build advanced defense technologies. I sleep around 10.30 pm to 11 pm unless I'm tinkering with my work. Waking up at 7 a.m. on the dot, usually. I believe in a full eight hours of sleep to maintain bodily health and keep my brain functioning

at maximum capacity. I just realized this guy's profile picture is Isaac Newton, so okay, those guys like that, I got ya. I believe in taking care of myself and my surroundings. I shower twice a day and brush my teeth after each meal. My study areas are wiped with Kleenex every single day, and my research papers and books are put in proper arrangements. I go on a five-mile run every other morning, and I do a lot of calisthenics on the weekend around 5pm to 6pm. No, I don't want a gym companion.

I doubt you'll be able to keep up with my rigorous routines. Here are my requirements if you wish to dorm with me. No music, no playing video games, no videos on speaker. You must be plugged into a headphone. You must vacuum the dorm with me every day. We'll alternate. No bringing over uninvited guests. Only speak unless spoken to.

The room must be absolutely pristine at all times. No dirty laundry, no garbage, etc. Do not touch any of my stuff. You must wear slippers in the dorm. I will provide them for you. Also, if you're not properly groomed, you're smelly, you have yellow teeth or stained clothes, I will not accept you. We can discuss intellectual topics if time allows, but it's fine if you're not intelligent enough as long as you remain quiet. If you're interested, please PM me and give me your IQ score. I'm looking forward to meeting you. And for real, does anybody actually know their IQ score?

And I'm not talking like, go to Google and type in, what is my IQ score and do some random free tests on a website and it's like, oh, you're whatever, 120 or whatever. Yeah, I don't think so, because to get your IQ tested, you have to get like a proctored exam in person, I think. And this guy expects people to just know that IQ score off and it's like, bro, who cares?

Like, what's so weird to me is that these people can be so smart. I mean, clearly, if this guy got like a 1590 on the SAT, this guy's smarter than average. But how can you be so smart but so completely clueless when it comes to social skills? And also, too dumb to realize that wiping services with Kleenex isn't going to make a bit of a difference unless it has some kind of disinfectant on it. You know what I mean? Like what?

Does he think the furniture is sneezing? On this next post, OP is an artist on Twitter and they haven't done an art giveaway in about three months. Then OP received this DM. You're effing annoying. You seem like a nice guy, but just f off. Then three minutes later. Okay, maybe that was rude. I'm sorry. I just haven't seen you do a giveaway in a while, and I think more people can benefit from your generosity for this community. Your tweets are good, and I'm glad that you're growing, but I'd love to win a giveaway one of these days. On this next post, someone used an emoji on Discord and they get this message.

Hello. I have been struggling with ADHD and one of those symptoms being nose bleeding and stomach pain. And that emoji is actually my comfort emoji. It brings me anxiety knowing that it's being used by someone else that quite honestly doesn't deserve it. It would make everything less special knowing someone else is using my comfort emoji completely not understanding the meeting behind it. So please never use that emoji ever again in your life.

Have a good day, hard emoji. I feel like the only way to reply to this message would be to say, Hello, sir. As a person with a heart, your use of the heart emoji is deeply offensive because I don't think you deserve it, so please never use the heart emoji again. Post it to Facebook. Hey there, Facebook. I've been debating on if I should post this. It's come to the point where I have no other options. I'm reaching out for some help with groceries. Any form of help is appreciated. Yes, I'm aware of the food bank and such. They offer a great service for those in need.

Unfortunately, their food doesn't last long and also it doesn't provide what my family need is required by a nutritionist. We need high protein foods, fruits and vegetables. I would appreciate any form of help. I would also be willing to share more with anyone seeking to help, but would like to know more. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for even just reading this post. News headline, Mom of 10 leaves people shocked after spending more than $1,000 on

Easter gifts. Then beneath that we have this gem. What she should have done was bought them and then donated them to those who really need them. Does she even realize that some children don't even have an egg through no fault of their own? This is just ridiculous. Then down in the comments, Rady Bobady points out who the mother who spent a thousand dollars actually is. This is a YouTuber called the Doherty Doesn't. She has 10 kids, of which half are fostered, adopted, and special needs. She's an amazing mom, and I've only just learned of her, but she's a really good person. Wow, man, imagine going online and telling the mother of disabled foster kids how she has

to spend her money. Man, the more I go down to these comments, the nicer of a woman she seems, because it seems like the baskets weren't filled with just candy and junk. Each kid got an outfit, a fishing pole, so they could go fishing as a family together. They got better swimming gear, so they could go swimming, some family-oriented toys. Honestly, the fact that she did all that

for just a hundred bucks per kid is impressive. On this next post, OP is one of those people who does really elaborate Christmas lights in their house every Christmas. Then OP gets this message. I was wondering if you could put together a Christmas lights thing at my house like yours. My daughter loves it, but we live 25 minutes away and I can't drive there every night so she can see the lights. It would probably be impossible to get all the necessary parts in time for this year. Most of the vendors are out of stock, and ordering direct from the manufacturer takes months.

If you want to get started for next year, you'll want to start ordering on February and March. I can't do the entire show for you, but I'd be happy to help. If you give me an idea of what you're looking to do, I can get you a parts list. Blank on YouTube is also an excellent place to get the basics. I need to do this this year. Next year she'll be older. She might not even care then.

Sorry, but I don't think it's possible. I spent months building my first year. It's a very time intensive project. Even if we had all the parts already, it would still be difficult. I have a few strands laying around. I could do a portion of your roof line approximately 30 feet. It wouldn't have music, but you can change colors from an app on your phone. Thank you so much.

Do you think that we could have a tree too? You have so many lights that it wouldn't be that big of a difference, and why can't we have music? No, a tree is the biggest and most expensive prop in the show. It accounts for one quarter of all the pixels. Please, it's your favorite part! It's my favorite, too. But you're not a child. I'll buy a tree from you. If I sell it to you, then I'll have to do hours of work changing the sequences to account for the missing pieces. It's literally the center piece of the show.

Your tree is on the side, not the center. You should look up the word literally. You can get a new tree next Christmas and the rest will be fine for this year. You have the snowflakes, presents, and the garage still. I only want one thing, so let me buy it. No. And even if I were to sell it, the parts alone would cost blank. You spend blank on Christmas lights? These color lights cost $13 on Amazon. How'd you get up to blank? And then when OP doesn't reply, so much for the Christmas spirit of giving. And then OP posted an update with context.

My house has about 25,000 pixels that I sequenced to music. It takes two weeks to set everything up and about three hours of sequencing per minute of show. She sent this to me on November 29th. Also, this was sent to the Facebook page for my show. I posted a video there last year that went semi-viral, and that's likely how she found me originally. Posted a Craigslist. I have a single room available for rent

for only $450. I'm offering one private bedroom with all expenses paid, including groceries to a long-term live-in nanny slash caretaker. My daughter is four years old and starts kindergarten this year. I need you to drop her off and pick her up from school, as well as babysitter in the evenings and weekends when I have to work. I'm a single parent, and it's just my daughter and I in our two-bit room apartment home. My career requires me to work nights and weekends so I would need you to be available to Baby

Sitter when I have to work as well. My daughter is not hard to take care of. She's smart and mostly self-sufficient at everything now and she can even make her own cold meals. Baby Sitting here would not be, and in fact it's fun for the right candidate. She's a blast, she has no medical conditions, and she's mostly well behaved. This position is ideal for someone retired who can be available for her needs full time anytime and long term. I'm a single parent balancing a career. This is a family household that's mostly drama-free, and we rarely have guests over. It's a fantastic opportunity for a calm and professional roommate that's clean, responsible, and respectful. You'll have your own master bedroom with a

walk-in closet and an attached private bathroom in this elegant, like new home built in 2006. You'll be living with other professionals who love being active and living the beach and outdoors life. We're easy going and we're all about good vibes in the home. We love music and healthy living. This is a nice, modern and smart equipped house and we want to maintain cleanliness in all areas and be respectful of each other and other things. Your living landlord is easy going and very handy and can help with the moving in process and more. Man, I'm always so confused when I see posts like this because if the person living here is working full-time as a nanny, and they also have to pay rent, how does this choosing beggar expect the renter to make money to pay

the rent so they can work this full time job taking care of their kit? Also, I'd like to point out that she says that her 4 year old is completely self-sufficient and they have a, what, 16 year old house that's apparently just like new? Does this woman have any concept of the passage of time? Seeking a dog sitter for weekdays from 10 a.m. to 3 p.m. Pay is $200 a month. You'll be watching an Australian Shepherd slash poodle mix. You can hang out at my apartment or bring her back to yours.

Text me if you're interested. And if you're curious on the math on this, this comes out to a little under $10 a day or about two bucks an hour That was our slash choosing beggars And if you like this content be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day