rSlash - r/Choosingbeggars "Seeking Full-time Live-in SLAVE"

Episode Date: November 7, 2023

0:00 Intro 0:06 Babysitter 0:48 Drive discount 2:37 Insta caterer 4:27 Wedding cost 7:58 Pay to work 9:20 Ground beef money 10:19 Her stall 12:22 Yamaha for sale 13:03 My bed Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Seeking a babysitter to come in my home on an ongoing basis, Monday through Friday, 6 a.m. to 7 p.m. Must be a churchgoer, conservative, female-only, over 21, non-smoker, non-drinker, past drug test, past criminal background check and have three references. Must be a high school graduate and prefer that you're in or went to college for elementary education.

You'll be caring for a six month old, a two year old, a three year old, and a five year old, all boys. Paying $75 per week non-negotiable? And then the comments are beneath this points out, that's like a dollar an hour. On this next post, OP is selling two dining room chairs online. Hi, is this available? Thanks. Hi there, yeah, they're available.

I'm located in the North Cypress area if you're interested in taking a look. That's about an hour away from me. Darn! Okay, I can pay you half the value $45, since it would take a lot of my time to drive there. I'm pretty firm on the price. They were about $230 originally. You can currently find them on wayfarer for that price. Yeah, I understand that, but I would end up spending something like 20 bucks in gas and

two hours of my time to drive there and back so you'd need to compensate me. That means I'm making less money just because of where you're located. I have people in my area who are interested who don't need to drive that far, so I'll just sell to them, thanks. Okay, but I'm interested in buying and I don't have any control over the area I live in,

understand, it's a business. If you had to ship this somewhere that took two hours, you'd have to deduct that from the cost that you made. I have to drive that time and I have to deal with mileage, so I shouldn't have to do that for free. I have someone close to me who's interested in buying, so I'll be marking them as old. Thanks.

They contacted you after me. I was in line first. Again, this is a business. Would you be willing instead to pay for a shipping company to ship this product for me and deduct the cost from what I owe you? If you want to pay for one of those services to pick it up and deliver them to you, then I can do that. Otherwise, I'll be selling to a local person. Why should I spend extra money to deliver them when you're the person who's so far from

me? I'm not selling them you are. They're coming from you so I shouldn't have to pay for the shipping. If you ship something from a post office, the seller pays for the item at the origin city, not the buyer. Otherwise, you can't ship it and it has to be paid for by the shipper slash seller. Hey, I'm the girl that just asked for your number on Instagram about my godmother's wedding. Okay, good morning. What did you want me to make again? A breakfast and brunch car with an omelette station with shrimp, crab meat, swordfish, regular bacon, turkey sausage, basically every breakfast meet. A wing station with all the flavors you can think of. A waffle station that stuff salmon dishes on your Instagram. Make that for about 50 people.

Fresh fruit, shrimp and grits, macaroni and cheese, fresh cooked veggies, like string beans, broccoli, carrots and collards. This is for 175 to 200 people. She needs an estimated price. Okay, that's $5,000 or about $28 per person. Her menu is pretty expensive, but $28 a person will most definitely get the job done. $5,000? Yeah, I'm purchasing all the food and making it, correct? Yeah, lowl, but why that much? You're an Instagram caterer. It's not like you have your own legit restaurant, lowl. What does that have to do with me purchasing all this food for 200 people and making it? I'm pretty sure that you have a good plug, low, every caterer does.

My godmother said $2,100, take the opportunity, or leave it. These were her exact words. Tell her I'm good. Look, I don't know much about catering math, but considering you can very easily order a hamburger from Uber Eats, and between the hamburger fries and rank it'll come out to like 28 bucks, but me swordfish crab shrimp and a giant breakfast all you can eat station as well as every wing flavor you can think of for 28 bucks a person sounds like a steal this choosing beggars

price is 2100 for 200 people which comes out to $10 and 50 cents per person girl it's 2023 $10 will get per person. Girl, it's 2023. $10 will get you like a single hamburger. Our next reddit post is from Cry In The Walk In. My piece of garbage brother dropped a bomb on us on Christmas that he was finally marrying his longtime girlfriend. Since he lost all of his inheritance on cryptocurrency, he's broke, so he's having everyone in the family cover

certain expenses. Since I worked for years in fancy restaurants, including as a sous chef for a James Beard award-winning chef, I got to cover the meal. After pressure from my parents, I relented. This morning, my brother called to tell me what he wanted. 250 people invited each one with a plus one allowed, a cocktail hour with trays of hors d'oeuvres, a main course, plated, not buffet style, and the main course has three options. Flaim and Yann serve with Yorkshire pudding and roasted asparagus, or red-current glazed duck

breasts with fondant potatoes and grilled brussel sprouts, or chickpea bolognese with cauliflower pasta and mushroom gratin. And as for dessert, a collection of pastries and many cheesecakes. To make matters worse, the kitchen rental at this venue is $1,000, which includes the cleaning fee, but not any cookware or utensils. I'd have to pay for other cooks, servers, bartenders, busing staff, and the serving ware. I am beyond livid.

The most frustrating part is that my parents have always babyed my brother. So when I called up my parents to let them know that I was not going to do this, I was told that I should call up my restaurant contacts to see if they'd be willing to donate their time or their ingredients. Then OP posted an update. My parents had a heart to heart with my brother after discovering that he's been taking money from other relatives over the years as well. They gave him the option of not taking any money for the wedding, and if he did that,

then my parents would pay for him to go to courses so he could learn how to be more responsible with his money. Or, they would put an undisclosed amount of money in an account and hire a wedding planner who can use the money from that account, but they would cut off all contact with them. There was apparently a lot of crying on both sides, but ultimately he decided to take the cash. My parents told everyone to no longer help them out financially, and they recommended not contacting him either.

Is there a word for feeling happy, sad, relieved, and disappointed all at the same time? Then a few weeks later OP posted another update. I found out that the trust fund my brother received was revoked by my parents a long time ago. In its place, they gave him a small allowance so that he could still afford to live, which they also stopped. The reason, as many people here pointed out, it turns out that my brother has serious addiction problems. And when he said that he was going to the Malibu for seasons, actually, he was checking into rehab. He called me last week to make amends because

he's going back into rehab, and it's a requirement that you put to rest in a hard feelings before checking in. We did nothing but argue. First, he insisted that the food cost for this wedding would not be in the tens of thousands of dollars, because he knows that it only costs one or two dollars per plate and that all that extra cost is just profit. Second, he couldn't understand why I thought 500 people would be showing up, even though he clearly said that he invited 250 people

and each person had a plus one. Also, the only reason that he took money from my parents is that he wanted to hurt them. It's been very eye-opening to know that there are a lot of hidden skeletons in the family, and they've been kept from us so that we appear normal. This next post is from Care.com looking for a nanny. We work as an attorney and a school psychologist. We need help with occasional meal prep, house cleaning, making sure the kids don't burn the house down, helping to make sure homework is completed, and driving the twins to school

in Brooklyn three days a week. The children reside part-time in the home and are largely self-sufficient. We're looking to exchange services for sharing a home. The caregiver will be provided access to the entire home, but they'll have their own private kitchenette, bath, bedroom, and entrance. We'll be asking for the caregiver to share up to $600 to $900 in monthly household expenses, depending on the services the caregiver is willing

are able to provide. No other compensation is offered. Oh, all right. So we're supposed to pay you for the privilege of being your maid and nanny. What? Damn, you know what? Yeah, I just realized.

I just realized, even if you were versed this and say the nanny isn't paying them $900 a month, and instead she's being paid $900 a month, it's still a bad deal. $900 a month to be a full-time live in nanny, she's being paid $900 a month, it's still a bad deal. $900 a month to be a full-time live-in, nanny, that's like $10,000 a year. Yo, these people are delusional. For context on this next post, OP is living in a hotel that costs $700 a week, which doesn't include food.

OP post a Facebook. This is OP, and my friend just told me that we're out of ground beef. I cannot survive without my ground beef. This is an emergency for me. Please send a donation for grocery for me or I will not make it. I cannot live without my ground beef.

I have to have that. My, my bodies are already shutting down. I'm freaking out knowing that we have half a hamburger. I'm in torture. I just can't believe that me and my friend are having to sit here and suffer. I'm just so overwhelmed. I need God to put a stop to me and my friend's torture. It's making me mad. To my friend's mom and grandma, please send $30 for me to survive. I need $30 for ground beef, or I will literally die! It's that bad!

This post reads like a vampire who can only drink blood and needs blood to survive. Except instead of blood, it's hamburgers. This is a VAM purger. Our next reddit post is from no actuator. So, this just happened. I'm sitting in the food court area of my local mall typing this. I was just in the mall bathroom. It's pretty big.

I think it had like 8 to 10 stalls in it. When I entered the bathroom, it looked like only one other stall was occupied. I randomly chose a stall and settled in to do my business. I hear the door to the bathroom open and then loud clicks from high heels. They stop outside my stall and I'm startled by loud banging. Then I hear anasily, excuse me. I say, someone's in here and this is the conversation that ensues. No shit, can you hurry? I need that stall. Uh, there are plenty of other open stalls. Do you think I'm blind? I want this one.

Now, hurry, I have somewhere to be. At this point, I'm honestly a little stumped, so I stutter. Ugh, I'll be out when I'm done. If you're in a hurry, use one of the other mini empty stalls. Listen here, be word. I don't like your attitude.

This is my stall. I use it every time I'm here. Now, move it. Here, she actually shakes the it every time I'm here. Now move it. Here she actually shakes the stall door and I'm getting pissed. I say you need to back up. You don't own a stall on a public bathroom. Now leave me alone. At this point the choosing beggar starts kicking and shaking the door at the same time. I loudly sigh and decided to just ignore her. I also decide that I'm going to purposefully sit in this stall longer even though I'm done with my business.

This psycho continues to hurl insults, kick and shake the door for a solid 5 minutes. Finally she screams, F you be worried, eat shit and die. I actually laughed out loud at that one. Then she loudly click-clacked out of the bathroom door. Opie, yeah, it is possible that she's a crazy choosing beggar, but also I have to wonder if maybe she had something stored inside of that stall, like maybe that's where she keeps her drugs. It's probably more likely that she works at one of the stores and she keeps her drugs in the bathroom because that way if she ever gets searched, she's clean and then if she needs a bump she just goes to that bathroom and does her drugs or whatever.

Selling Yamaha Bike for $5,000. Could I have this please? I'm poor and I can't afford it. Can you suck dick? Hell yeah, what do you look like? Okay, go suck a bunch of dicks for money. Okay, go suck a bunch of dicks for money. Then bring that money to buy this motorcycle.

You're gonna need $5,000. No, just give me the bike, or you'll die by the end of the night. Watch and see. Go forth and consume a satchel of Richards. Go get my money. Thank you, OP. Not only for this story, but also for adding a new insult to my vocabulary. Our next post is a cross post from R-slashamayda butthole.

Will I be the butthole if I don't let my family member in their fiance sleep in my bed when they come to visit? I'm a 37 year old woman and I'm about to have two visitors to my apartment in a couple of weeks, a 42 year old man and a 37 year old woman. I have a king bed that I sleep in and I have a queen size Murphy bed that's in my office. The couple will be staying a night at my place before continuing on the road trip. For additional context, I'm 6 feet tall and built like a truck. As for the people visiting, they're both over 6 feet tall and are in the very overweight slash very large category.

Here's the issue. The couple asked to spend the night and I said, sure, I have a spare bed. They then asked if they could have my bed, the king size, and I said, no. This led to a whole, we'd be more comfortable before our road trip if we got to sleep in a bigger bed. And I said, you have either a queen size bed or an air mattress as your options at my place. Take your pick. They called me a butthole and said they would discuss it closer to the date of their arrival. Will I be the butthole for not letting them sleep in my bed? Okay, kicking your host out of their own bed is one level of audacity. But also, presumably these two people visiting are a couple, and the idea of those two people doing hanky-panky in your bed is gross.

I'm giving you zero out of five buttholes. I'm giving them 1.5 out of 5 buttholes. That was our slash-choosing beggars. And if you like this content, be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day.