rSlash - r/Choosingbeggars Seeking Hot Girl to Be My Full-Time Mommy

Episode Date: December 16, 2021

r/Choosingbeggars Any hot babes out there interested in a full-time job where you drive around a guy, feed him, and satisfy all of his needs? Yep, this guy on Facebook is complaining that he can't find a woman who will literally take care of his every need, including buying all of his food and doing all of his chores for him. What a catch! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hi, I'm Pete Davidson. People are always asking me, Pete, how do you always keep elevating? And to be honest, I have no idea. Is it my swive nature? My incredibly brilliant brain. Or maybe it's new smart water alkaline with antioxidant and a higher pH.

The skin does look glowing. Hey, thanks, creepy radio announcer, dude. All good, Pete. Elevate how you hyd read and keep it smart. Like me! With smart water alkaline. Welcome to our slash-choosing beggars, where you get paid six bucks an hour to change adult diapers. Posted a Craigslist. In need of elderly care. I need help with my 89-year-old

mother and father. Duties would include cooking meals for them, basically keeping him and her company. You have to assist my mother to the bathroom, change her diapers, and get her ready for bed and whatever else she needs. She has dementia. Hours would be 7 a.m. Saturday through 7 a.m. Monday, basically 48 hours straight. They do sleep all night, so you'd be able to sleep from 7pm to 6am both nights and be relieved at 7am in the morning on Monday. You must be honest, kind, and trustworthy. You don't have to be CNA certified, but experience is a must. Also, if you can't

do the complete 48 hours shift, please don't bother applying. References needed, please call Blink for an interview. Compensation, $300 per week. Oh man, if you're wondering what that comes out to, it's six dollars and 25 cents an hour to watch two adults with dementia and change diapers. Why would anyone choose this job over literally any other job?

I could walk into McDonald's and get a job flipping burgers for more money than this, and you won't have to change anyone's diapers. Hey, I found your account from TikTok, and I love your Al-House cosplays. How much do you want for the Hunter mask? I really want to cosplay him, and your mask is the best one I've seen. Oh, hi, I'm glad you liked it, but I custom made that mask for our friends so we can cosplay some outhouse characters for an upcoming con. It's kind of a one time thing, but I'll let you know if I open up my prop

commissions again. Wow, that's so cool, but like, how much would I have to pay for you to make one for me right now? Uhhh, I'm not making them right now, so nothing. I'm in college and currently job hunting, so I can't really make you one. Besides, I don't have the materials at the moment, so it would be extra. Would $30 change your mind? Sorry, but no. Once again, thank you for showing interest, but even if I was able to make you one, it would at least be a starting price of $ bucks because it's handmade. But I won one! I'm not talented like you, can't you just do a good deed and make me one just as once?

It can't be that hard. Make me one or else I'll post about you. Sorry, but no. Get bent! I was doing you a favor and you won't take my offer. My family is going through a rough time and you're being a butthole. And then OP corrected the choosing beggar spelling. OP, you're being so rude to this poor guy,

his family is going through a really rough time and what he really needs to fix it is an almask. How many likes for free shoes? One million likes in 10 minutes. F you. You realize this stuff on my store is 400 bucks, and I don't need exposure. F often stop begging. Giving away a free shelf. Would you be able to deliver by chance or me?

I don't have a car. No, sorry. Oh, okay. Well, can I have your address? I'll see if my neighbor will help me get it tomorrow, but it would have to be after 5 p.m. because I wouldn't be able to pick it up before then. There are other people who are interested in when I get it tonight, and if they don't get it tonight, someone said they'd pick it up tomorrow morning, so sorry.

Wow, okay, didn't know that it was a race for a free item. You're ignorant, I'm reporting you to the group admins. This isn't a damn game for things that people need. If you had someone else that was taking it, you shouldn't have said that it was available. This next post is posted in Tinder. Bio. I'm looking for a woman with conservative values. Pro-life, Second Amendment, and Liberal. What? Liberal, and Concert, what?

Conservative values, Pro-life, Second Amendment, and Liberal. What? conservative values, pro-life, second amendment, and liberal. What? Please be 5'2-5'6, 105-115 lbs. Bress size 32b-32c, size 12-16 waist, and size 6-7 feet. Be fun, but down to earth. Be manicured and pedicured, and keep yourself fairly clean. Your attire should be 80% casual, 20% formal, but be into wearing costumes in bed. Be trustworthy, honest, and also into movies, road trip and family stuff. PG stuff with others, and R rated slash XXX with me.

You must also have our love dogs and no kids. Also, you must be between 18 to 26 years old. Wait, hold on. I'm not like super, super familiar with women's fashion, but isn't size 12 kind of like curvy and like thick? Is it on the thicker side? Am I making that up? Hold on. Size 12, women's clothes.

Oh yeah, these women are thicker on the thicker side. So how's a woman gonna be thick, but how much? 105 pounds and thick. This guy wants a liberal conservative who's 105 pounds and also thick. And also 18 years old. What is this guy talking about? What is this guy? What is he talking about? What is a liberal conservative? Also, I like how you can tell just by reading this post, this guy obviously

has a foot fetish. He's specifying what size her feet are. And as a guy who doesn't have a foot fetish, I literally could not give two flying f*** about how big a woman's feet are. Size 67819, who cares, man, I don't care about foot size, so that's irrelevant. But this guy specifies it has to be 6 or 7 size feet, and she has to be pedicured. So you know this guy's gonna be sucking on toes. Not to judge, I mean, if he wants to suck on toes, it's fine. It's just amusing to me that in this relatively like,

schizophrenic post where this guy doesn't seem to know what he wants, at least he's very clear he wants nice feet. Oh man. Does this guy not have TikTok? This ain't build a bitch. You don't get to pick and choose. This guy's like straight up trying to order a woman like he's ordering a sandwich at subway.

I'm looking for a photographer. The photographer must have a website, an amazing portfolio, their own studio, able to print all my images and release a digital gallery to me. A variety of backdrops, provide props, three hours to capture every look that I have in mind, must allow three outfit changes,

must allow my man and my kids to get a couple of shots in. I don't want to pay more than $100. Point me in the right direction. Thanks in advance. I'm looking for a puppy for my girls for Christmas. They want something small, like a pug, mini golden doodles, or something like that. Anything miniature. These girls are my life. They've been through so much in so little time they deserve the world, but I can't afford it, so please help me make this wish come true. Then beneath that someone replies, I donated to the GoFundMe that you set up. I got an update that shows you're up to $435 on there, so you could use those funds for a puppy

I would reach out to local rescues or the various humane societies Then OP replies, I use that money for my October rent My rent is wow $1714 and my income is $1664 Whoa! Hold on what? $1664 income and $17 $1,664. Whoa, hold on, what? 1664 income and 17... Oh my God, this person is making $1,600 a month.

And they decided that it's a good idea to go rent a place that cost $1,700 per month. If I were in that situation and my monthly rent is more than I'm making every month, then my number one priority wouldn't be getting a dog, it would be changing where I'm living. Also that rent is ludicrously high. I just looked it up and the average rent in America is $997 a month and that's average. At the absolute highest end is Hawaii and the average rent in Hawaii is $1,617 a month.

So this person is living in a place that costs more than the average apartment in Hawaii. Yo, lady, maybe, just maybe it's time to downsize your apartment. And I don't want this to come off like I'm trashing on people who don't make a lot of money because I'm not trashing on her because she doesn't make too much. I'm trashing on her because she's winning a place that's more expensive than she makes in a month. What about food? What about taxes? What about literally any other expenses you have to like how does she make up the remaining hundred some dollars

every month? Just go online and beg strangers to give her stuff? Is that her sustainable business model? Where can a vehicle from Mazda's electrified lineup take you? From running errands. To running five kilometers. From powering up. To winding down. Electrify every moment with the 2024 Mazda CX90, available as a plug-in hybrid or as a mild hybrid in Line 6 Turbo.

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Terms and conditions apply visit mx.ca slash business platinum. Selling 2001 Chevrolet Silverado for $5,670. I'll give you $4,650, not a penny more, especially with a rebuilt title. Well buddy, I'm not too concerned with what you would or wouldn't give. I'm not selling to you. You're not much of a salesman buddy, but there's a seat for every ass. You're not much of a customer, but then again, I'm no dealership. Well, could have fooled me with that gouging Biden price attached to it. Well, at least Biden won. I wouldn't tell too many people that. Why's that? They might just buy your truck. What?

Wait, hold on, what? This guy threatened him with someone buying his truck. How is that bad? That's why he made this post so that he can sell this truck. You better be careful, buddy, or else someone's gonna pay you your asking price for that vehicle of yours. You'd like that, wouldn't you?

Uh, yeah, honestly honestly I kind of would yeah I bet you would like it you bite and voter you. This next post was posted to Facebook. Hello we're looking for experience 3D animators. The 2 hour movie script is ready. We've decided the animation should be like the movie Coco. If you're interested, please DM me. We will not be able to provide a salary. It's a startup project, only considering back end points, warm regards. Then, down in the comments, this poster is getting absolutely

ripped to shreds. There's no pitch here, nothing. You're not offering exposure, a big ticket name, a beautiful storyboard, a great story, a charitable cause, nothing. You're not offering exposure, a big ticket name, a beautiful storyboard, a great story, a charitable cause, nothing. It's almost as if you think that working for free is in itself an opportunity, but it's not. If I had unlimited daily time, maybe, but what am I supposed to do to earn a living? Good luck with your project.

I know how you may feel about this, but I can't give my help. This is what Kickstarter and Patreon are for. I'm not saying that you can't do it, but it's very hard to get people to work for free without some kind of leverage. Good luck to you guys, but I'm curious. What's the film about? So animation of that level in the US costs between 100 to 300 US dollars for each unique second Hundreds of hours of labor for a two-hour movie for no pay seems legit. Don't get me wrong art is great But this does not seem realistic such a disgrace to our fellow designers, okay, so I went to Google and I typed in how much did it cost to make cocoa and the estimated cost of making cocoa is 175 to

225 million dollars. So This guy literally just posted on Facebook and is like hello. I'm looking for about $200 million give or take a free labor. Any takers? Come on, you know, you won't make any money, but I certainly will. Also, I have to wonder, how good could a movie script possibly be when the person who wrote it thinks that the best way to get an animated movie made is to go to Facebook and ask a bunch of strangers to work on your movie animating it for free. Posted to Facebook.

Choosing beggar is feeling heartbroken. I'm just so effing depressed and heartbroken to the point where I may never know what real and true love will ever feel like. I'm definitely not asking for a girl to show me the entire world. I'm just asking for a girl who doesn't care about my looks or all of my biggest flaws, but only cares about me as a person. I want a girl who will sweep me off my feet, take me shopping every now and then, and drive me to have some nice dinners at a decent restaurant, go see some movies, and make me feel

like I'd be the luckiest guy in the world. That's all I'm asking for. So please God, if you're up there and have been looking down on me, please hear my plea of desperation and save me from a life of solidarity and loneliness. That's all I'm asking for you God in your precious son's name. Amen. It sounds like this guy doesn't really want a girlfriend. He wants a sugar mommy or maybe just an actual real life mommy. Review, one star. I'm giving a one star review because of the cheap management and customer service.

I heard the food was very good, so I went to try it out. Me and my boyfriend got the Kalamari, Spaghetti, Alvangol, and Nochi. All were very delicious. I was actually so impressed that when the manager came to ask us how everything tasted, I told her it was some of the best Italian food I've had, and I told her I'm going to post about it on my Instagram where I have over 11,000 followers, and a lot of them are in the area.

She seemed very happy about it. I was wrong. I thought that she would be grateful for the free advertising, but when the check came, there was literally no discount at all. I thought at least one of the entrees would be taken off, but they didn't even take off the Kalamari or even the drinks. I will not go back here because of this, which is a shame because the food was very good. The manager needs to understand how to treat customers. I would feel so incredibly awkward to try to do this at some sort of restaurant.

Sir, the tin tacos you ordered are 20 bucks. Will that be cash or credit? Well, I could pay, but do you know who I am? Uh, no. I'm R-slash. Who? Hahaha. I'm R-slash, the YouTuber.

I've also got a podcast. Uh, sir, I've never heard of you, so could you just pay your money and be on your way, please? I literally don't understand how influencers can be so brazen to come into an establishment and just expect some sort of discount. The way I look at it, any sort of money that you could save by knocking off like one or two dishes is not even close to being worth the awkwardness of having to tell someone, oh well, don't you know that I'm kind of a big deal? I have a bunch of followers online, which makes me super important, so should I get a discount? The idea of actually saying that to another human being who's just trying to get through

their work day and then get home so they can rest is like physically painful to think about. Looking for a babysitter in the area? PME if you're interested. Here are my requirements. One, have a bachelor's degree in childcare or nine years of relevant babysitting experience. Two, have three good references with phone numbers.

Three, full time availability, including weekends. Four, you must have your own car and driver's license. Five, you must be a native English speaker, and I prefer you also know a second language so you can teach my kids. 6. CPR Certified, Ideally a CNA license. 7. Have no history of traffic tickets, and no problems with the law. I'll be running your name through databases.

8. No tattoos, no drugs, no alcohol. No sketchy social media behavior, or public pictures. 9. You must be Okay With Two Pit Bulls 10. You Must Be Okay With Emergency Last Minute Calls 11. Perfect Attendance 100% Required 12. Willing to Pay For Some Snacks 13. Will Love to Work With An Infant? A Three-Year-Old and A Five-Year-Old 14. Ideally You'll be a Trump fan.

In exchange, I'll be offering $10 an hour under the table cash. It's like making $15 an hour normally, but without paying tax. Serious in Korea's only. Yeah, and taking this job would be like making $10 an hour, but really closer to like $750 when you factor in the gas, wear a tear in your vehicle, and buying the kid snacks. Also, this person wants someone who's never had any trouble with the law, but also someone who's willing to commit tax fraud. That was our slash-choosing beggars, and if you like this content, be sure to follow

my podcast because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day. be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day.