rSlash - r/Choosingbeggars Seeking Natural Sperm Donor! Age 16-23

Episode Date: October 18, 2022

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Welcome to our slash-choosing beggars, where someone is looking for a 16-year-old sperm donor. Hi, everyone! I'm looking for a natural sperm donor meeting these requirements. Age 16 to 23. What? Age 16? Never used any prescription or illicit drugs. Never drink, except for communion. Blond are light brown hair, not overweight, and come from a 75% plus American background. Agree to forfeit all parental rights at time of birth. No payment will be collected during any natural breeding sessions. However, regular child support payments in the amount of 20% of your income will be expected within the first month of birth. You will remain completely anonymous throughout the child's 18 years of life, and you would

be expected to maintain the same level of anonymity with anyone around you. Please reach out to me through Messenger for more information. Thank you. Um, ha ha ha ha ha. Do I really have to point out that natural breeding sessions plus age 16 to 23 is a problem here, but on top of that, this is the world's most expensive prostitute. One night of passion in exchange for 20% of your income for 18 years. On this next post, OP builds custom PCs for people on the Facebook Marketplace. The lowest I could do for a PC with a 3070 graphics card is around $1,500 to $700.

$1,300. I'd be losing money. I mean, you lose some and you win some. You want me to pull $400 out of my own pocket so you can play Fall Guys with a cool-looking PC? I mean, do it for your customers! Well OP, the only logical response is to charge this guy $3,000 and when he gets upset about it just say, well, you win some, you lose some.

On this next post, OP is trying to sell a desk online. Hello, I'm just double checking if you're still coming for the desk. We agreed on 200 bucks, but I think 125 bucks now. I'm sorry, but no. I haven't listed for 250. Originally, it was a $700 desk, and honestly, I think 200 bucks is a great deal for a motorized desk. I wish you would have told me this before I disassembled it for you, because now I'm going to have to put it all back together to find a new buyer. No, I'll buy it, but for 125 bucks. I'm sorry, but I can't do 125. I'm firm at 200.

Thank you, though. Have a good rest of your day. We just moved to Canada and we need a new desk, so we'll do 125. I appreciate that, and I hope that you're enjoying Canada so far. But I'm not moving down from 200 bucks. Thank you. What? You have no respect for the Punjabi community. Considering that I'm AT and my partner is Sikh, I actually find that pretty messed up. I'm blocking your number. Do not come to my address. I'm not selling you the desk. Goodbye. You racist. Then, down in the comments,

we have a similar story from a CREAT. I put a wing back chair for sale online for $10. It was a great chair, comfortable and in great shape, but I just didn't need it. I put it up for $10 to get rid of all the time-wasters who pop up when you have free things. Within a few minutes I got a message. He says he just moved to Canada and he needs a chair for his office. He says that 10 bucks is fair and I told him to come by. I pull the chair out of my house and I have it in my garage. He shows up in a brand new Lexus SUV. He's there with his wife and kid.

He comes up the driveway and he's pleasant enough. He has to sit on the chair and check it out. I said go for it. He sits down on it and I swear he was trying to drill a hole through the chair and check it out. I said go for it. He sits down on it and I swear he was trying to drill a hole through the chair with his butts just grinding back and forth side to side on the chair. He stops after 15 seconds and says, the chair is a level. I explain that that's because it's on the garage floor. The chair is level but the floor is old so the floor is not level. He asked me to move it to the driveway, so I pick up the heavy winged back chair and move it 20 feet to the driveway. He proceeds to drill his butt into the seat again. You can clearly see the chair wobbling now because the

driveway is way more uneven than the old concrete in the garage. He, once again, says the chair is uneven. I, again, explained that's because of the surface that it's on. He keeps saying that it's worse than before and that the chair is loose. He asked me to move it into my house and test it there. I straight up refused to let some random guy into my home. He then says, I can only offer two dollars. I said, what? He said, I just came to Canada and I'm an immigrant.

I don't have much money. I can only afford two dollars for the chair. I looked him up and down in his brand new loafers, crisp khakis, Tommy Hill figure polo and Seaco watch, then look past him to his brand new $65,000 SUV. I said, I'm gonna politely ask you to leave my property. He was absolutely shocked. Just as he was about to say something else, I said, I'm gonna politely ask you to leave my property. He was absolutely shocked. Just as he was about to say something else, I said something to the extent of, you showed up in a brand new Lexus dressed in better clothing than I own, and you're haggling over a $10 chair? I'd rather burn it than sell it to you. Leave my property now. He said something

in another language and drove off aggressively. I put the chair back in my garage and went inside and checked my PC, and I had another message from someone about the chair. They were there in 20 minutes with cash and hand ready to pay, and were a super nice younger couple. I told them they could have it for free. They were super happy, and I was happy to get rid of it. Posted a Craigslist. $500, 3-bit room for rent. Single room for rent with bathroom. The room has a sliding door. Laundry and cable is included.

The only caveat. Okay. This person says, the only caviar, as in like fish eggs, but I think they mean the only caviar. The only caviar is, I can't walk down two flights of stairs, so I'll need you to come to the top floor to grab my laundry once a week and return it folded and clean.

Single parking spot, deep freezer access and outdoor shower. Outdoor shower. 45 second walk to the beach. Oh, it's like, okay, it's like a beach shower, okay, never mind. Rint is reduced due to compromise. You'll need to clean and fold my laundry and cook breakfast, lunch, and dinner, and bring it upstairs daily. Please text. So, for the low, so for the low, low price of paying this person 500 bucks a month, you get to be their live-in made and cook. Normally, if you want to get a live-in made and cook, you pay them,

but who's counting right? For rent, $300 one bedroom RV. I have a 28-foot Terry RV that needs extensive interior work done. I'm willing to trade rent for upgrades to the RV, but you must make the improvements before moving into the property. Monthly RV rent is $300, and the lot rental is $600 monthly. That includes water. The monthly lot rent due from the beginning is not part of the improvement deal. That will come from the 300 monthly RV rental.

Includes all park amenities. This is for one person only. No exceptions. I'll also consider offers to purchase the RV with the option to rent the campground space. Man, when he said $300 for a fixer upper RV, I was like, you know, that kind of sounds reasonable, right? But you've got to do all the upgrades before you move in, which means he might just change his mind after you do all the work. And he doesn't include the $600 monthly like Lotfe which makes it almost a thousand

dollars for a broken down RV. Haha, that in the comments I'm going to read this post from I Might Be Weasel. This is a hard catch 22. The Venn diagram of people who could afford this and people who would consider living like this is a figure 8. And that tiny spot where the two circles touch is that one guy looking for a place to cook meth. On this next post, OP is a freelance artist.

Well, freelance artists are usually paid at a cheaper rate. Yeah, that's true. Ha ha. I do more specialized in high quality stuff for clients, so that's usually the major price reason. Well, will the cheaper rate be okay or no? Huh? Hi, unfortunately, the rate isn't high enough.

I'm quite sorry for any inconvenience. There are a lot of artists under hashtag Blender3D who may be able to provide cheaper commissions. So, no? Unfortunately, no. Unless you're able to do a higher price. Sorry. Why does this happen to me? Like, I'm always rejected by talented people who I needed help with, but they always just reject me.

I even promised them that we'll pay them after we've made enough money from the Kickstarter and we'll use that money to pay them. But then they had to act like idiots and reject my project. Stupid idiots! Hi, I'm muting you because you're not being very professional. $20 is not unreasonable compensation for what you're asking, so either learn, blinder yourself or pay up. Goodbye.

Our next Reddit post is from Ratlord. So there I was at my local strip mall carry out pizza hut, waiting up front with another customer for my order. A disheveled older man walks in, wearing a t-shirt and pajama pants, and carrying a pizza hut pizza box. He walks up to the counter, and the exchange with the pizza hut employee goes something like this. I called earlier, you said I could have this pizza for free!

Yes, sir. We delivered the pizza to your house by accident. You can keep the pizza, it's free. Yes, sir. We delivered the pizza to your house by accident. You can keep the pizza. It's free. The choosing Beger opens the box, showing off the pizza toppings. The pizza has pepperoni on it. I don't eat pepperoni. I'm sorry?

Can you make me another one? Sir? Since the pizza is free, but I can't eat it. Can you make me another one? I was listening to the entire exchange, and I perked up here and shared WTF looks with the employee and the other waiting customer. Then I laughed uproariously at the Choosing Beggar's brazen and shameless request. The Choosing Beggar looked around at me and then lowered

his eyes sheepishly. Um, if you'd like to pay for one, sure. Uh, no. The guy left the pizza on the counter and walked back out the door. I shared a brief moment of, did that really happen with the other customer and the employee for about 30 seconds until my pizza was ready? I guess the guy thought that he was entitled to a free pizza of his choosing to compensate him for the inconvenience of a misdelivery being sent to his house, not that he was being allowed to keep that particular pizza since it couldn't be re-delivered to the correct customer once it was in his hands. Man, why is all the good luck wasted on bad people?

For like the average person, if a random free pizza spontaneously showed up on their doorstep, that would make their day, it would make their week! They'd be telling their friends about this incredible thing that just happened to them. But no, this choosing beggar had to get all upset about it over pepperonies. On this next post, Opie was giving away a futon for free on Facebook and got this message. You're a grunt! My cousin was getting up and getting ready to come get the futon. She was showering and everything because she didn't want to get stinky while coming to

get a futon. You're a beward and couldn't even communicate with her. Instead, you just went ahead and blocked her. It's a good thing that she reported you so that you'll never be able to sell anything on here again and I'll make sure of that. That was just the rudeest thing that I've ever heard about in my life. You couldn't even give her a chance to get up, get cleaned, and message you! So I'm gathering from this post that OP gave it to someone else,

and this person responded too slowly, and as a result of OP's lack of communication, he forced this poor girl to take a shower, I guess. Ah, here we go, down in the comments OP says, a time was agreed on to pick up a free futon. The person was late and unresponsive. After we told them that someone else was coming, they told us that we were so rude, so I blocked them. Ten minutes later, this message comes in from a family member. People are wild. And to top it off, the person who did come to get the futon said they'd been sleeping on the floor One minutes later, this message comes in from a family member. People are wild. And to top it off, the person who did come to get the futon said they'd been sleeping

on the floor for the past three months, so I'm glad it went to the right person. Our next Reddit post is from Extra Sneaky Turtle. I don't really hang out with this acquaintance anymore. Let's call him Pat. I met Pat through a friend in college. I didn't know what to think about him at first, but he seemed like a gentle enough soul. I couldn't see him hurting a fly. One day, he calls me up and asks if I want to hang out with a group of his friends at his place on the weekend. I know a few of his friends so I agreed. He asked if I could get a ride to his home since he's 15 minutes

away. He's been to my house before, so he knows where I live. I don't have a car, so I set up a ride with my father. I waited at my dad's work from seven until he got off at nine. I arrive and at the moment, it's just me and Pat. He then explains that we have to drive and pick everyone else up. I'm thinking that they all live nearby so it won't take long,

especially since he was so against picking me up at my house. I also didn't know the amount of people and thought that it was maybe two, three people at most. Well, we drove for over 45 minutes to get to the first person. We even passed by my street on the way there, to which I mumbled WTF as I saw my house flash by. I sat in the passenger seat of Pat's car until one of his friends bangs on my door. Pat said, she always rides shotgun. Can you get in the back seat? I don't argue and I sit in the back. After all, we're only gonna pick up one, maybe two more people, right? Nope. I'm slowly squished as we fit three more people in the back who weren't exactly tiny. Not to mention that some people in

that car did not use enough deodorant if they did use any at all. It took about three hours to pick everyone up towards the end, and we never went back to Pat's house. We ended up chilling at the last friend's place because she didn't want to leave her house or squishing with the four of us in the back of his tiny car, which is understandable. A few hours later, we start the long drive to get everyone back home. I knew the path that we were going to take first, the one that goes past my house. The second that were next to my street, I asked him to pull over. He's confused until I tell him that my house is down the street. I told Pat, this way, I don't have to ride around for another two to three hours, and my dad doesn't have to come pick me up from your place. Thanks for the ride. It was sort of fun. Have a good day. As I'm leaving, he gets out of

the car and asks me to wait. He takes his time and fidgets a bit until he finally asks me for gas money. I did drive you all around the city. It's only fair, right? Now, I should point out that I had spent money helping to pay for pizza and soda for the group, of which I had one slice of pizza and water. Pat says that I can pay him later, but I explain that I don't have a job and don't have money. He turns around and leaves without further debate. I hung out with that friend group a few times, but I didn't jump into a car with him again. Especially since I felt like I used like five cents worth of gas for him to simply pull over. Pat is definitely a very timid person.

I've found that he uses his timid nature to wiggle extra favors, items, and money out of people, including gaming desktops built from scratch. This is a weird story. I kinda get the feeling that the only reason why Pat invited you was so that you could pitch in for pizza, soda, and gas. That was our slash-choosing beggars, and if you liked this content, be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day.