rSlash - r/Choosingbeggars Seeking Wife, DO AS I ASK, WHEN I ASK!

Episode Date: March 26, 2020

r/Choosingbeggars This choosing beggar is a simple man with simple needs. All he wants is a beautiful 10/10 super model wife who makes lots of money, and who will do whatever he wants, when he wants. Is that really too much to ask!?!? WHY ARE WOMEN SO PICKY??? Watch on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XjaFXQ7uBl4 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It's fall and you can get anything you need with Uber Eats. Well, almost, almost anything. So no, you can't get a maple tree on Uber Eats, but maple syrup and maple lattes? Yes, we can deliver that. Uber Eats. Get almost, almost anything. Order now.

Product availability may vary by region, see after details. Welcome to RS-Lash Choosing Beggars, where free is way too expensive. Important context on this next one. OP used to go to rehab and he gets a message from an old acquaintance who was also in rehab. Hi, how are you? I'm Blank. I'm living with both my sons and I are like Trissidy Wishhead off. Can you help us in any way? I know who you are. Okay, can you help me in my sons? Who's your electric company? Peco? Call their number. I've done this with central Hudson before and ask for a bill pay extension. Also, I think it's illegal to shut off electricity in the coldest months.

Well, they did. What's their number in your address? I'll make a complaint as a cop. Ha, no, that's okay. Call the police then, because it's illegal for them to do that, whether you pay or not. Do you just need money for something else? I wouldn't want your son in the cold. I got a son now and watching him be cold sucks.

Well, they said unless I pay $87, I'm beat. Can I get your account number? I'll pay that via phone call. I called and tried to pay your bill, but they couldn't let me know what your account balances unless I have your address or account number. So I tried. Send me 87 dollars and I'll pay and send you the receipt. Diskeppin' down in the comments says we were all thinking. This is textbook how an addict asks for money.

Manufactures emergency of urgent need. Needs medicine, food, is freezing, etc. Ask for money. Turns down any help that doesn't involve cash in hand. No one who's heat is off in the winter objects to having their bill paid directly. Guys, I need help. I need a PS4 that must be pro, for free. It must be slightly used or unused at all and must be in good quality and must have three games with it.

Fortnite, Spider-Man, and GTA 5. Don't be greedy, I really need it. Hey pal, my band is very interested in having your record, mix, and master our upcoming EP. How much do you charge? Huh? Huh? Dude, it's almost 1 o'clock in the morning. Can this please wait until later in the morning around 7.30 to 8? That's no way to speak to a potential customer, but sure. And 1 o'clock in the morning is not a good time to make a business deal. I'll speak to you later.

I can't speak later. I have work all day today. How much for an EP with AIDS songs? Need prices quickly. And you don't think I have work in the morning as well? For a 5 track EP, I normally charge about 1200 bucks, but because your band's EP is longer than 5 songs, I'd probably do it for about 1400. Can you please make us a deal and do it for 400? We can include you in our EP and can pay you more in sales.

Promises do not pay for my bills, let alone my time. The price is firm. If you can't afford it, you might have to look elsewhere. We aren't rich, you can't seriously expect us to cough up almost $1,500. Be lucky that the price isn't going up as it's now almost 2 in the morning and I have work in 5 hours. I'll message you later. This is BS. You can't charge us more just for messaging you.

How do you expect local bands to hand over that much money? That is so not cool, dude. What is not cool is messaging me when I told you to stop. Last warning. What do you mean last warning? Huh? Bundle of sticks. The price is now 2500 bucks.

You should have left me alone when I told you to. And no, the price is absolutely firm now. WTF, I'm calling your studio tomorrow and talking to your boss. Have fun with that. Oh wait, guess what? I'm the boss. I'll hear from you later then. This is BS.

We have labels waiting for our EP. All I asked for was price. If you treat your customers like this, we don't want to work with you. Lowell, you have labels waiting? Funny, because I don't think I've ever heard of your band. Why don't you tell me the name of your legendary band? My band is called Blink, and we DO have labels waiting. But I doubt YOU would have ever played in front of anyone. Thank you for the name. I'll be sending these text messages to every studio

and engineer in the area to warn them to not work with you. I'm blocking your number now. I hope your E.P.L.S. band goes far. Effing twat. Then Qingpar down in the comments is his contribution. I run a studio out of my house on the side and get messages like this all the freaking time. We're called Snow Falls on my ever bleeding heart.

Yes, two Vs. It makes it sound more like... Eiji bro. We have labels waiting on the CP and we're gonna be huge. I checked their Facebook page. 110 likes. Also each member of the band has a nickname instead of their real name on the page. Am I talking the buzz, bloodfart, comrag, hatchetcock,

razor, or kevin? For this next post, this was posted on a flyer, as in like a paper flyer and posted up somewhere. No headgames or BS! Single white male, 50. Seeking single white, Asian, Hispanic, European, or Middle Eastern female, legal aged 30 to be my wife and have my children. And if you're wondering which ethnic group is excluded here, it's black people. So what he really means to say is just no black people. Prefer a brunette or red head. Petite under 140 pounds.

Five feet to five feet, nine inches tall. No drug addicts, no horse. No sluts. My idea of a slut is any woman by the age of 30 who has had more than 5 sexual partners. I will not have any female who has passionately hugged a black person. No exceptions. Preferably a virgin. She will stay by my side or at home, even when I'm at work.

If she wishes to work, she can do so from home, or by my side. If she wishes to go out, she will do so with me by her side. I will not put up with a so-called girl's night out where she can eff around on me. She will have to earn my trust. She will only have female friends. She will have no male friends. I will not tolerate being lied to or cheated on. She will be given a lie detector test every 6 months till she earns my trust.

She will do as asked. When asked? She can reach me at blank. Down in the comments, just me here 8888 sums it up best. He forgot, must not complain about domestic abuse. Subject, this would help greatly. Custom Gaming Machine. Love your website, by the way. hilarious and well put together. I've sent a similar email to four other companies, minus the compliments on the website.

I'm looking for a custom bespoke machine for my startup company. I like what you have, but I want something a little different styling-wise and graphics-wise. What I would like for the five companies in total is to design me a unique cabinet and artwork. I'm not sure exactly what I want, but I'll know it when I see it. If I like your design, you have my business and a horde of potential customers. I say horde because my company name is Blink and they will come in hordes, believe me. Before you panic, just know that I'm paying for this.

These side marios all you can eat is all you can maja soup, salad, and garlic home of, oh my, small, me, and I'm moving on up in! For your holiday season, real Canadian superstar has more legendary ways to save than any other major grocer. Until December 6th, get a free jumbo Point Seta when you spend $300 or more. Plus, PC Opplement members can get select PC or no-name cheese at $3.99. Conditions apply to fly for details. My budget is $1,400.

I would like the following. Custom Cabinet design, full design wrap, front and sides, 32-inch screen, Sanwa buttons and controllers, a good sound system, minimum of an i5 PC, no Dell systems, the rest is up to you guys to impress me in up that I'll go with you. The winner gets the business and all the exposure that comes with an exciting new startup company that already has 1000 followers on social media. Good luck. Hi, no, good luck. Hi, Blink. Well, it's definitely a lost opportunity on your behalf. May I ask why, though?

No, it's not. Yes, you may. Well, why? I'm not sure if you're joking. On off the shelf machine at the spec she won is worth $2.5,000. You want us to spend a day or so designing a custom one for you on a maybe and you'll pay $1400 if we win your sucky competition? Can you see why I'm not doing the electric slide right now, Blank? Come up with another $1100 plus design fees and we'll talk about how busy I am and how I can't do it anyway. Jesus man, when a school closed down for two weeks, a local pizza shop offered free food for kids. Due to the school closures, I would like to announce that the next week,

Tuesday through Friday, I will be offering free lunch to all students. Options include a slice of pizza, side salad, and a bottle of water. Two slices and a bottle of water. a six inch sub in a water, chicken tenders in fries, or a large salad in a water. It's not much, but anything can help. Students can come in with family, or if they're in high school, a school idea is preferable. Thank you, and please share if you can. That's very generous and kind, except it's excluding the rest of the people who also won't be able to get food. Will you be giving free food to the seniors whose meal programs are suspended also? Please consider all of those who cannot get their regular meals.

That's a really weird way to type. I know you're trying to save starving kids, but I don't care about kids, I just went free pizza. So you're still going then? Yeah, I can't refund my train tickets. So you said the reason you can't come out for Blanks birthday is because you're seeing that boy band. And you're not going anymore, so come, you work full time and don't need a refund. It's like 90 pounds though and I really just wanted

to get away, you know. Don't pull that card again, I swear. Literally every single time you don't want to come out, you use your mental health, doesn't excuse. I get that you've been up and down for a couple of years, but it's getting a bit old. Blank doesn't have any money for her own birthday and we need you there. You bought drinks last weekend so we thought you'd come and do it again this weekend, but obviously not. I'm sorry alright, but I've been looking forward to London since I booked it and I want to go if I could get a refund I would. Whatever, I'll tell Blank she's going to be so upset. Like honestly, you're trying to ruin her night.

Actually can't believe you. F off to London and see if you have friends when you come back. Can't even do one thing for us and now we're all gonna have a sucky night being sober. Cause we're all students and can't afford our drinks. And what if I can't afford to pay for all of yours? That's BS. You work like 35 hours a week. You dropped out of college, literally have no effing life.

And you're telling me you wouldn't be able to buy drinks for us? You know why I dropped out though. Why would you stoop that low? So you got depression. It's not like you tried to kill yourself for anything. Obviously not that serious and I think you're just begging, but whatever. Have fun in London Babes, you're getting blocked and you might want to leave the group chat because I'm about to send screenshots and we're all gonna rip into you. Don't want you to see it just in case

it pushes you over the edge. Crang while laughing emoji. OP, I hate to break it to you but these people don't look at you as their friend, they look at you as an ATM. Did you change the Netflix password? Yeah, who is this? It's Blink, your son's roommate at Mizzou. Blink graduated last year. Why are you still using my Netflix account? Are you as new roommate in Chicago?

Lol, nah, he left his Roku with us. I'll have to talk to him about that. I never gave him permission to leave behind that Roku or let anyone else use my Netflix account. Lol, that's cool. Can I get the pass while you talk to him and clear this up, though? No, I don't think so.

I don't know you, and I only share that with my kids, sorry. We were watching Altered Carbon. Can't we just have it until we finish? I'm sorry, but no. Dude, no wonder your kid hates you. You're a dick. That's spelled why oh you apostrophe, Ari? F-U!

Opie, instead of correcting his grammar, you should have just sent him alter-carbon spoilers. Hey, man, I just started up my YouTube channel and I was wondering if you could help me out and design a YouTube banner for me? These are the design specifications I need. I can't afford to pay you right now, but I'll try to make it up to you somehow.

Oh yeah, Blank told me to tell you that he sent me. Okay, I don't normally do free commissions, but on a count of Blank being a good friend of mine, I'll do it free of charge. Keep in mind, I'm very busy, so it'll probably take some time before it gets to you. Great, things. I don't look for it to it. I'll let you know when I have any updates on it. Then literally one day later. Is it done yet? My YouTube channel can grow without a banner and at the moment I'm in a highly crucial

growth phase. I needed done ASAP. What work have you done? I haven't been able to get any work done right now as I have another client who's paying me for album arts. I'll get yours done when I'm finished with that project. Just be patient. Apologies for the delay. I needed in my inbox by Saturday evening at the latest. Please get to work. I'm sorry, but I'm away on the weekend. So Monday evening will be the earliest possible time that I can

get it to you. And that's provided I don't get any more commissions. This isn't good enough, man. My patience is really running thin with you. I need it, ASAP. Please try to understand that I usually work for 25 pounds an hour. Even though money's tight at the moment, I still decided to do this for free. I'll try to do this as soon as I can. After I'm finished with my work, I'll get right on it. You realize you're literally costing me money, right? You're actively stopping my channel from growing because of some low lives paying you 25 an hour. Sunday evening. If you don't make that deadline, don't expect anything from me in the future. That is all. Oh, so now you're withholding payment I was never gonna get?

Really good strategy mate. I'm done with you. Your design skills are trash anyway. As a professional YouTuber, I can say with full confidence that not having a banner will not hurt your channel. But, trashing on people like this and getting out into the public can hurt your channel. I would bet any amount of money that this kid has a Fortnite into the public can hurt your channel. I would bet any amount of money that this kid has a Fortnite channel with less than a hundred subscribers.

That was our slash-choosing beggars and if you like this content then let me know by hitting that like button because it really helps my channel grow.