rSlash - r/Choosingbeggars THE ELEPHANT'S 🍆 WAS TOO BIG!!!

Episode Date: June 25, 2021

r/Choosingbeggars In today's episode, an angry Karen gets upset that her family trip to the zoo was ruined! She was at the elephant exhibit and... let's just say that the elephant was REALLY excited to be there. The Karen just had to leave a review expressing her completely justifiable anger at the zoo for allowing the elephant to show off his fifth leg. This Karen suggests that the zoo staff should give this poor animal some relief so that it never happens again! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to R-Slash, a podcast where I read the best post from a cross-reddit. Today's subreddit is R-Slash Choosing Beggars, where a Karen complains about giant elephant dogs. We've you, one star. Okay, so first off, me and my family loved to visit all different types of zoos, elephants being my all-time favorite. When we took my daughter to see the elephants, I was absolutely mortified by the lack of care and concern.

This elephant had the largest erection that I've ever seen. My daughter began asking me what that was, and she's only three! If the staff took care of these poor animals and relieved them, then maybe my three-year-old wouldn't be asking about gigantic elephant erections. Well, I don't know who this Karen is, but if that's the largest erection she's ever seen, then she's definitely not one of my ex-girlfriends. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha New job opening, elephant jacker offer, pay minimum wage, must have a firm grip. And then a few weeks later it'd be like, Mommy, what is that person doing to that elephant's leg?

I would like to summarize the reasons why it's okay for the Carbrow Music Festival not to pay musicians. 1. Other people work harder than musicians, which is why sound engineers and others get paid for the festival, but musicians don't. 2. Playing music is more fun than other jobs, which is why musicians don't need to be paid. Whereas everyone else involved in the festival needs to be paid for their less fun jobs. 3. Not paying musicians is what makes our festival special and unique. 4. If we have to pay some other musicians, we'll have to pay all of them. 5. Sorry, we could only raise enough money to pay literally everyone else who works with the festival. How much would it cost for you to voice act for me?

Well, I also kind of want to ask for singing too. Three dollars per line, but I'm hoping to negotiate. What do you mean by that? I charge three dollars per line. What? Like actual money? Yeah. I paid money for my recording setup, studio and audio software.

Why would I not want real money back? This is also work, which requires money. Dang it, well, I'm sorry. I thought that you would do it for free. Well, I'm so very sorry for bothering you. What? If you're gonna ask someone how much, then why would you be surprised

when they give you a dollar amount? What was she expecting to pay in like McDonald's coupons or something? Our next reddit post is from an extra ordinary girl. Background, my husband and I had to move in with his grandparents during COVID when I lost both my jobs and my husband's work contract ended. It worked out well. They're in their 70s and we're in our late 20s,

so we jumped in with helping them around the house, picking up groceries since they're high-risk, yard work, and long overdue deep cleaning. They let us bring our dog and both cats. They're wonderful, amazing people. Even though we were looking for jobs, we still helped with bills. And now that we're both working again and looking at buying a house, things are still wonderful amongst us all. Now during lockdown, we ran errands for them and their friends, mostly

their neighbors who were also seniors and therefore high risk. We never took payment for gas or anything. We only accepted money for groceries because we couldn't afford to buy 10 different family's groceries on our savings. One of these families lived about 15 minutes away and they were my boyfriend's grandparents' old neighbors of about 20 years. They had remained friends throughout the last seven years or so of not being next door, and often talked on the phone and saw each other in person. We'll call them Karen and Bob. They seemed pretty normal, always grateful when we dropped off groceries.

They were even understanding when the stores were out of certain things or specific brands. We didn't really interact much with Bob. The problem actually started a month ago when my boyfriend's grandparents decided they wanted the driveway and sidewalks pressure washed. Grandpa showed me how to use the pressure washer, and I fell in love with it. It's nothing fancy, just a basic model pressure washer, but it was so satisfying. It took me two days to finish the driveway, and I offered to do the driveways of a lot of the other neighbors too. I was only working one job, I had a lot of free time,

and it made me feel needed. Often, they'd bring me out a snack and a drink, and we'd chat when I took a break from the floor to heat. It was great! Enter Choosing Beggar. Karen and Bob were scheduled to come over for dinner. I was finishing up a house a few doors down the street when I saw their car coming and waved. Finished up the job and rolled the washer back home. I showered and we all had dinner, and Karen asked why I'd been working down the street. I basically just told them that I liked doing it. I thought nothing of it when she remarked that their driveway could use a good washing.

I agreed to do it on my days off over the course of a week or two, but I sleep in late, so I get a late morning start. She said that was fine. The next day at 8 a.m., I'm at work when Karen calls. Where are you? I'm at work, is everything okay? I thought you were going to wash our driveway. I am, I'm often two days and I'll get started on it then. Oh, okay, I guess that's fine. I hang up mildly confused. Two days later at 8 a.m., I get another call. Where are you? And, Bid, I worked until 2 a.m. last night. My alarmist said for 10 a.m. and I'll be there by 11.

You said that you'd wash my driveway today. And I will, I'll be there at 11 a.m. Oh, well, I was hoping that you'd get started early. I can do 10 a.m. but I'm going back to sleep now. Fine. So I wake up earlier than normal, eat, and haul the washer up the ramp onto the truck and head off to the choosing beggar's house. Now, these choosing beggars have a huge driveway. One of those upside-down, you-shaped half-loop ones had double-wide for two cars and it's long. I'm there for about three hours. It's

about 97 degrees outside and climbing. It's a hundred percent humidity and I burn through my water bottle. So I turn off the washer and knock on the front door to ask if I can refill my water bottle. You didn't bring water? I just laughed because we're in Florida and I think she's joking. No, I did. It's just really hot out and I'm out of water. Can I fill up with some ice water? Karen, who's visibly irritated, says, I guess.

Oh, that was weird. I go back out and work for another couple hours. I'm probably about a third of the way done when I call it a day. I'm hot. I'm tired. My left hand hurts from clinching the trigger, Karen's being weird about water, and I'm hungry. So I go to unhook the hose and start loading the washer up when Karen comes out.

Where are you going? Home? I'll be back in a couple of days when I have my next day off. No, you need to finish. I'm sorry, what? You need to finish my driveway. I will, I just can't finish it today. It'll take me another 10 hours or so to finish. Karen makes a fuss, but I'm adamant about leaving. I need to eat, rehydrate, and the washer is almost

at a gas anyways. Keep in mind that I am not a professional, I am not a company. I don't have employees or a partner in business, I don't even have an industrial strength machine, I'm just some bored girl with a small washer that thinks it's fun and doesn't mind helping people. I should have stayed gone. I got a voicemail the next day at work saying how these choosing beggars are both unhappy that their driveway looks half finished blah blah blah. Then the next day, Karen calls and texts me multiple times, which I ignore other than to

say that I'm at work. I can't talk and I'll be there tomorrow. My phone starts ringing the next day at 7.30am with, are you coming at 8? Please be here by 8am. Don't forget water! Hey Karen, there's a thunderstorm going on right now that's supposed to last most of the day. If it clears up, I'll come over for a while, but I'm not gonna powerwash in thunder and

lightning. You promised that you'd come today! The driveway looks awful. I'm sorry, but it's not safe to be out there with a pressure washer and a thunderstorm. I expect you to be here tomorrow then, at eight. I worked tomorrow, but I can come the day after. Karen has the bright idea that I should call off work because she hired me to do her driveway and I haven't finished it yet.

I say no, I'll be there in two days. Cute two more days of passive-aggressive voicemails and messages. However, I still show up with a cooler of ice water and food. I work another 5 hours or so, and every time I turn off the washers, she peers out through her windows at me. The power washer is super loud, so it's easy to tell. No friendly chit chat, no drinks or snacks offered, not that I expected it, but still. The only talking we did was when I took a lunch break. She opened her door long enough to ask what I was doing and if I could not sit on her front porch steps. Her steps were the only shaded place to

sit, so I sat on the tailgate of my car in the sun and scarfed down my lunch. I packed up that day with about four more hours of washing to do. Again, this was a huge freaking driveway versus a tiny little washer. I get home exhausted, and my boyfriend's grandparents ask if I have a second to chat after my shower. Apparently, Karen had called them multiple times saying that I was being lazy and just sitting around her house, and she just wanted me to finish her driveway and leave.

It's not like me to just sit around and be idle, especially in someone else's home, so they asked what was going on, and I told them about how the job was going. It took me almost a week to get back over there. I received constant texts and phone calls about how I was slacking. How I was a bad person for saying that I'd help poor old people, then leaving them to finish such a laboring task and the like. So I went back and finished our driveway. It didn't speak one word to Karen and only spoke to Bob to tell him that I was finishing returning his garden hose. They never even said thank you.

I went home happy to be done, chalk it up to what lesson learned and just avoid this choosing backer when they come over. We're moving out soon anyways. Bob and Grandpa are really good friends and Karen and Grandma are also really good friends. Who cares if they didn't like me? Well, remember how I said that my boyfriends grandparents are just super amazing people? They cared. They cared a lot that I was giving up my days off, coming home exhausted, and that I was being used and lied about.

So one day they left to have lunch at Karen and Bob's house. Karen met them out front on her driveway and said, My driveway is full of brown spots that she missed, and I demand that she comes back and fixes it. She also complained how I hadn't pressure washed the porch or the steps of their house. She complained that it looked horrible to have a half-clean driveway and a dirty porch in house. Grandpa knows that I pride myself on my work, paid or not. I'm OCD with a washer, that's why I like it so much. So Grandpa asked Karen to point out the spots that I'd missed, and Karen starts pointing

at brown rocks. Brown rocks that are in the concrete of her driveway. She really thought that pressure washing the rocks would make them max the concrete, and clearly I was too lazy to do it right. Apparently, Karen had a meltdown about my husband and I being leeches on them, which landed them in an argument that ended both friendships, lunch being cancelled, and that was the end of the story. Or so I thought. That happened a month ago, but I'm writing this now because Karen and

Bob have reached out to both me and the grandparents. Not to patch things up, or apologize, or even say thank you. They want us to pay them because their water bill went up because I used their water hose to run their pressure washer. The only response they got was a written out receipt from me from my hourly rate and my current job. Times in number of hours I was there for their driveway and it's been picking up their groceries and running errands. Also a rental fee for the washer per day and also the gas that I had spent on my car and the pressure washer. At the bottom of the receipt I wrote, I'll pay up when you do. Down in the comments, someone asked OP what the bill came out to and she writes $2,416, 115 hours over the course of a year for weekly grocery trips,

plus the driveway at $18 an hour that came at $2,070. Gas was $3 for gallon for weekly trips, so $156. Then the rental fee for the pressure washer makes up the rest. OP, I'm genuinely confused as to why your boyfriend's grandparents are friends with these people. Because, oh my god, your grandparents are amazing people. They sound really supportive, they let you move in with them, and they got your back during this fight. But then you've got Bob and Karen that are just classic examples of choosing beggars. Super entitled. I can't understand how they had a friendship for, man, would you say, 25 years, I think? Yeah, 20 plus years. So, how is it possible that during those 20 plus years,

Bob and Karen never pissed your grandparents off? I have to wonder if this is like one of those generational things where they're the type of people who just automatically assume that everyone in the younger generations are just lazy good for nothing losers. Because like, it sounds like you're working your butt off, so I can't even understand why that would get so upset about it. Obviously, it's just because you're a lazy millennial and all millennials are worthless. We're looking for someone to watch our nine year old son. You must have your own vehicle and be reliable.

You must take COVID-19 seriously. You must be active and take him adventuring sometimes. He's an active boy. You know, swimming, biking, hiking, going to parks, et cetera. If you watch him in our home, we have a cat just to let you know. He's very self-sufficient, so I don't wanna pay more than $4 an hour.

That's what I've paid in the past, and I currently pay $20 per day until 5 o'clock. Then every hour after 5 o'clock is another $5 per hour. And it would be amazing to keep it that way. At the end of August, your hours will be from 8 to 5 Monday through Friday. I just checked the math, and there's 262 working days in a year, times 20 bucks a day, that comes out to 5,240 dollars per year. Mine is gas costs, because you also have to drive through their plays, then drive their

kids around. So essentially, you just be working a full-time job that pays you the gas that you would need to do that full-time job. Selling Bauhaus sofa for 50 bucks. Okay, when can we come get it, please, and thanks. Tonight, tomorrow, or Sunday, whatever works best for you. We live on the top floor of a house so we'll carry it downstairs before you come. Okay, how about tomorrow?

But first, I should let you know that I'm a 3 time cancer survivor, and I lost my husband of 32 years and had a fire in the building where I lived. So now I'm in a little room sleeping on a blow up mattress and I was wondering what your lowest price would be. Also, I'm on disability. God bless! Down in the comments, I'm going to read this reply from Mr. McGruber. Well, I'm a four time cancer survivor, I lost my spouse of 33 years, and the building that I'm in is still currently on fire, so this is the lowest that I can go.

On this next post, this person owns three separate restaurants in Chicago, and they post this on Facebook. Low salaries for servers is an easy fix. People who are truly concerned for tipper and should just tip more. Otherwise, menu pricing will go up and everybody suffers. And then someone replies, did you just seriously ask your customers to pay more to subsidize the lower base salary? Please tell me which restaurant you run so I can never patronize them.

This guy's argument is so stupid. He says that he can't pay his employees more because he would have to raise prices. But instead of raising prices, he's suggesting that they raise tip amounts. So like, who cares? The end result is still the same. The customer pays more. That was our slash-choosing beggars, and if you like this content, you can support this podcast by subscribing for $4.99 a month. Also, be sure to follow this podcast because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day. so be sure to follow this podcast because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every

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