rSlash - r/Confession I Accidentally Murdered A Man In Front Of His Whole Family

Episode Date: December 13, 2020

r/Confession In today's episode, OP was driving his car through a familiar neighborhood. He looked down at his radio for just a moment, and when he looked back up an old man was walking across the street. He couldn't stop in time, and he ended up killing the old man. Luckily for OP, the collision was ruled an accident, so he didn't have to spend any time in prison. He's never told another soul about this horrible event, but now he's confessing anonymously on the Internet to get it off his chest. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Welcome to R-Slash, a podcast where I read the best post from across Reddit. Today's subreddit is R-Slash Confessions, where OP accidentally murder someone. Our next Reddit post is from Al Bundy. I worked at a fast food chain in the 90s when I was in high school. When I worked there, they were in the process of phasing out denominational gift certificates, $5, $10, $25. The way it worked was, if you spent more than half the certificate, they gave you the cash back. So, if you ordered $5.50 worth of food and gave them one of the $10 gift cards, they gave you the $4.50 back and cash. My manager was in charge of destroying all the existing certificates as we transitioned

to the more traditional credit card looking gift cards. So my manager said he shredded the certificates like he was supposed to, but one night when I was closing, I found two boxes of the gift cards tucked deep in the dry storage room. They were filled with the gift cards that were supposed to be shredded. So I scooped them up, brought them out to the dumpster and trash bags and threw them away. After we closed, I came back and recovered them and brought their certificates home. I counted them. There were $1,000 for $25,000, $1,000 for $10,000, and $ $5. None of them had expiration dates. The total haul was $40,000 in fast foods or certificates. My manager never said a word. He couldn't. He had reported

them destroyed weeks earlier. Over the next three years, my girlfriend and I toured every location in our state and the next four states ordering food and getting the change. We never kept track on a spreadsheet or anything, but we got good at knowing what menu items were just about half. After the first year we started saving the change in a shoebox and let it build up. I bought my first car for $7,800 cash from the change, and for some reason, a kid's ice cream cone was $1.5, and if you gave them a $5 certificate, they gave you $3.95 back. We threw away all of the kitty cones.

And then OP posted some clarifications. We could hit 10-12 stores in a day if we drove for around 5-6 hours. Both of us would use a gift card. It wasn't very labor intensive. The only cameras in the store were at the cash registers in the takeout window. My manager has no clue who took them, or at least never treated me differently. Each gift certificate had a generic PLU on them, so all the $25 ones were PLU 756. When we stopped selling the certificates, we were told to keep honoring them because they were prepaid. They

weren't coupons. And one could only eat but so many ice cream cones. I have to wonder if the manager didn't shred the coupons because he was planning on doing the exact same thing. And then the feeling of absolute dread when he realized $40,000 of coupons were stolen under his nose, and he couldn't tell a single soul about it. I ghosted my boyfriend of five years. I came over to his house one morning to surprise him with breakfast and a video game he wanted, only to find him naked, asleep, and with his ex curled up in his arms.

He didn't hear me come in, so I closed his door and left his breakfast and game on the kitchen counter along with my keys to his house. I went to my car, deactivated my Facebook, and blocked him on all other forms of social media. I then called my phone provider to change my number before driving off. I texted family members and close friends that we were no longer together and to block him on social media as well. I didn't tell them why. I wasn't a position to end the lease at my apartment early, and I started a new job in a different city later that week.

I completely removed myself from him and didn't offer a shred of explanation or opportunity for dialogue. I disappeared from his life after his betrayal and think it'll not only help me focus on myself without his presence, but I think completely shutting myself off from him will hurt him worse than anything when he thinks on how good he had it with me these past 5 years. Good on ya OP, it takes a lot of strength to do something like that. And I hope he felt like a piece of garbage when he woke up from cheating on you to discover that you brought him breakfast, a video game, and the keys to his house.

That had to sting. Our next reddit post is from Milky Way Kid. I killed an elderly man in front of his wife and basically his entire family. I haven't talked about this to anyone, even though it's been years, even my closest to friends. Minus the ones that were there. One night when I was in college, I was driving to get some liquor for a party my fraternity was supposed to throw the following night. I was taking a street I was very familiar with to get back to my house. It was dark, but the street was lit with

street lamps. I remember that I looked at my radio for a second, just a second, not very long at all. But when I looked back up to the road, there was a man crossing. I didn't have any time to react. By the time that I saw him, he had already hit the hood of my car and bounced off the side. I remember screaming and hitting the brakes and the wash-up horror of what just happened. I'll admit that I thought about speeding away, but I pulled over to the side and ran out of my car to check on this guy. When I got to him, his family was standing outside the restaurant he was leaving and they were all screaming and crying.

He was laying on the side of the road with blood coming out of his nose and mouth. Two other men were standing with him trying to see if he was alright and calling 911. All I could say was, I didn't see him. I was frantic by the time it said in what I'd done. I sat on the curb across from their family and listened to their crying and agony while we waited for the paramedics to arrive. I sat there and sob while the paramedics took him away in an ambulance. I don't believe I've ever cried so hard and for so long. The worst part about all of it and what still kills me today was that the wife came over to me while I was distraught on the curb, sat next to me. Placed her hand on my shoulder and said, I was married to him for almost 50 years. We had a good life. Then she hugged

me and said that she forgave me. After everything was said and done, it was ruled that it was an accident. I wasn't charged with anything and I had one of my friends picked me up from the police station. I went down a dark path for years after that. I drank heavily, dropped out of college in my senior year, and had to move back in with my mother and father because I couldn't hold onto a job. I even tried to end my life. It was a hard road to recovery, which I feel that I'm not fully recovered from, nor do I feel that I'll ever feel the same.

But eventually I did get my life back in order. I joined up with a navy and saw a bit of the world, and now I'm on track to go back to college and hopefully finish what I started there. It took almost a decade, but I'm finally starting to feel almost whole again. I'm back to hanging out with my friends and actually going out, so maybe there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Wow, OP, I can't believe that the wife hugged you and forgave you on the exact night that you killed her husband. That shows an incredible amount of integrity, and it's something that I don't even think

that I would be able to do in that situation. Embrace the holiday season with a Starbucks Red Cup in your hands. Your favorite festive sips are back, and it's time to make every moment just a little more magical. Whether it's enjoying some meat time by the fire sipping a Toasty Chestnut Prairie Lotte, spending an afternoon with friends on the skating rink,

sharing peppermint mocus, or closing up for family movie night with hot chocolates and caramel brulee lattes. There's a holiday flavor to savor for every moment. Share in the joy and sip on some magic all season long with the Starbucks app. So many of us think one day we'll find a way to buy our first home, but what if there was a faster way to turn one day into one day soon?

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When my ex and I started dating, I used to make him a morning cup of tea as a cute gesture and I stuck for the three years that we were together. It's a nice small thing you can do to make someone's day and it's a nice way to get to know how someone likes things to be done. So my morning tea used to be any old tea bag, you're sure tea if it was on offer, a splashed milk, and the first cup always had a teaspoon of sugar, every cup after was just tea and milk. My ex, however, had to have a very specific ritual. Thompson's Poojana tea, a teaspoon of milk, and absolutely no sugar. He was adamant that he could tell in a heartbeat when his morning cup of tea was wrong, and

at the age of 33. He never liked any other tea other than Fortram and Mason's Royal Blend. So in the beginning of our relationship when he would stay at my place, I entertained this notion and used to make his morning tea the way that he liked it. Tompsons Poojana T, a teaspoon of milk, and absolutely no sugar. He would always thank me and tell me that I make the best cups of tea. And at just three times a week it didn't kill me and it was a sweet gesture. Fast for three months when he would spend nearly every day of the week at my place, but he still hadn't moved in.

He was very demanding of his morning ritual, and me being a student, I couldn't keep affording to buy that brand of tea. Besides, what was wrong with PG tips or any non-branded supermarket tea? Tea is tea after all. So, I used to always make his cup of tea with any tea bag, a teaspoon of milk, and no sugar. I was always sure to only make it when he was in the shower or still in bed so he could never catch me out and initially he was dubious and was always asking to make sure it was Thompson's Pongonate. He used to call it by its full name to emphasize how good it was. After a few trials of different teas, I finally found that sweet point where he couldn't taste

the difference. I would drink it with him as he sipped and he would go on and on about how you can taste the quality and that there's really no other tea like it. When we moved in together, it was a lot harder to disguise the fact that I was keeping the same box of tea and just filling it with regular tea bags, so I had to be a bit more clever. I used to buy one bag of his tea and two bags of mine a week and kept them in the drinks cupboard. When it came to making his cup of tea in the morning, I would take one of his tea bags

and put it in my pocket, giving him one of my tea bags instead, and I used to give my tutors a college his tea bag to drink during the day. He would always comment that I run out of my bags more quickly because of the quality difference and that with Pungana, one bag is enough for a considerable amount of time, but little did he know. This went on for a couple of years, and I never told anyone about it at a fear that he would find out, as after all, he really couldn't tell, so why ruin the fun? It was saving me money and it was sort of amusing. I never let him make a cup of tea unless I was away, so he never really had to find out.

After we split up we remained good friends and I spent some time with him to win our old flat. Every time I visit, he always asked me to make a cup of tea the way I used to for all time's sake, because everyone he's been with or dated after me can never make it taste the way I did. He even says that when he makes it himself with Poonjana, that he could never make it taste right and that I was some sort of special tea maker. I still haven't told him. Down in the comments, I'm going to read this reply from the potato masher.

I can feel the Britishness in this post. Our next Reddit post is from Dumpoon. When I was a server, I threw a customer's phone in a trash compactor. I just started serving tables at a restaurant and I was working my first super busy brunch shift. I had over six tables and I'm not going to lie. I had a tough time running all the mimosas at my tables or ordering. I could tell that one table of all women were getting abnormally angry about their drinks

taking a while. I apologized for the delay and made a joke about it being an especially busy shift. I offered them a round of drinks on me to smooth the situation over. When I walked away, one lady murmured under a breath that I was an incompetent grunt. Let's stop there. It's common for people to treat servers like garbage, but this was the first time I'd ever experienced being spoken to like I was garbage. I shook it off and continued to be nice to them, but it only got worse from there.

They started to laugh at me and to trash talk me to one another. They told me that my future career looked pretty bleak, considering that I couldn't even serve tables. Honey, even a toddler could deliver drinks. When I took their order for food, one woman refused to speak to me. She just stared at me while her friend ordered for her. By now I'm pissed. I asked her why she felt the need to have her friend order for her.

She laughed at my face, looked down at the menu, and said because I was a dumb little B word. Due to the fact that I was still working, I couldn't argue or tell her to eat garbage for treating me like I was a dog. If I did, my boss would have fired me. They ended up stiffing me on my tip for their $200 check. I realized the woman that gave me so much flak had left her phone. I took it and went out the back door to smoke a cigarette and tried to calm down. Who the hell did that woman think she is? So I promptly turned off her phone, threw it in the trash compactor, and turned it on. She came back minutes later and asked multiple staff members if we found it.

I told her that I didn't see it when I busted the table and that I would call her if it turned up. I never told anyone, but I never regretted doing it. When you treat people like trash, expect trashy things to happen to you. It's like they always say, revenge is a dish best thrown in a trash compactor. Our next reddit post is from Constant Suit. I lied about having my university's degree and it got me a great job. I went to an Ivy League University in Ontario, Canada,

right after high school. My marks weren't great, but they weren't good enough to squeeze me in. I spent most of my time in university partying rather than studying, but still managed to pass all of my first year classes. In my second year, I skipped a lot of classes and was very lazy with the coursework. My marks were terrible, and I failed a couple of my courses. In my third year about halfway through, I dropped out and got a job landscaping. I did that for a year when I realized that it really sucked, and I began to regret not trying harder while I was in school. So I figured that I would apply to jobs that would normally require the degree that I would have gotten. I'd spend a few years

in school, so it was easy enough to make the timeline on my resume make sense, and although I dropped out, I so had a decent knowledge of the subject matter. The field I was attempting to enter is difficult to start out in and it took a few months of sending applications to get an interview. The company I got an interview with which is now my current employer is an internationally recognized name in the energy sector. I was extremely surprised to get my interview. One of the documentation requirements was university transcripts, and after a few hours in Photoshop, I had my proof of graduation. I sent in the papers with the other required information, and never heard anything back describing any problems with my records.

I ended up going through three interviews in the process and received a position. I've now been working with this company for almost five years. They provided all the necessary job training, and nobody has ever questioned my education. I entered with a starting salary of $72,500 and received annual raises. Upon hiring me, I was told that the management staff was quite impressed with me through the hiring process and that they usually only hire applicants with minimum requirements of a master's degree. I basically mess my pants every day while in the interview and training process, but now I don't really think about it ever.

I didn't tell my university friends that I faked having my degree. The only people that know I did this are my parents. Opie, pretty much every single month when I was in college, I'd have one random day where I just talked to myself, why am I doing this? Wouldn't it be easier and cheaper to just photoshop a fake transcript and send that into jobs when I apply? And it turns

out the answer is yes, yes it is. That was our slash confessions and if you like this content then check out my Patreon where I publish extra episodes. Also be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day. to follow my podcast because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day.