rSlash - r/Confession I Caused a UFO Scare With This Simple Life Hack!

Episode Date: June 18, 2020

r/Confession On a lazy summer day, OP and his friends to try a fun little science experiment that they learned about in school. They tape together some garbage bags to create a long, hollow plastic tube, which they leave out in the sun. The sun heats up the bag, causing it to float off. The bag looks like a long black snake slowly slithering through the sky, and it creates a UFO scare the next town over! Oops! If you like this podcast and want to see more like it, follow my podcsat for more daily Reddit content! 🔔 Subscribe: https://bit.ly/2E3A8i6 💬 Discord: https://discord.gg/Rtwc9ZC 🎧 Podcast: https://link.chtbl.com/rslash ⚓ Send me a voice message: https://anchor.fm/rslash 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/rslashyt/ ♪ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@rslash0 🛒 Merch: http://bit.ly/rSlashMerch Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Holt Renfrew is sharing joy for the holidays with gifts for everyone on your list, and maybe even a special treat for yourself, too. Discover the new collection for Burberry by Daniel Lee. Add some ambiance with Louis Bay Home. Give Gorpkora try in Solomon's sneakers, and so much more. Whatever presence you pick, we know they're going to love them. Visit a store today or shop at HoltRenfrew.com Welcome to R-Slash, a podcast where I read the best posts from a cross-reddit.

Today's subreddit is R-Slash Confession, and next a word from our sponsors. Our next Reddit post is from Kassama Herm. This was back in, let me think, maybe 1997? I was 38 and my daughter was 18 and she was dating Harry who was 24. I was an alcoholic and dabbled in other drugs, mostly cocaine. I was not a good person, let alone mother. Not like I was abusive to my daughter or anything, but I was generally inattentive and cared more about my alcohol and drugs than her, especially in her teen years.

I'm 14 years sober now. I disapproved of my daughter dating Harry, but I never told her why. He would flirt with me constantly, and the age difference also creeped me out. Also, he was an alcoholic and drug user just like me. She broke up with him over his alcoholism. Soon after she moved away, not too far, but regardless, she didn't live with me anymore. Harry kept calling me and asking if he wanted to get drinks. I turned him down, but then one day he said he had a bunch of coke and I couldn't resist. He came over, we did the coke, and we ended up passionately hugging.

He was a very good looking guy. He looked a lot like that ridiculous 80s Justin Bieber picture that was on the front page of Reddit today. That's actually what made me think about him. For the next few months, maybe like three to four months he would sometimes come over and we would passionately hug and do drugs and get drunk together. Any drug addict knows what that's like to have a drug buddy addict buddy in that way. Then I got pregnant.

I knew it was by him. I had passionately hugged him without a condom a few times stupidly. I never told him I was pregnant, and I wouldn't got the abortion and kept it a secret. Anyways, I stopped seeing him after that. It was too weird. I also got sober for like four months before relapsing. Fast forward two years, and my daughter contacts me and tells me that she got back with Harry and that he's fully sober.

I was mortified, honestly. He was gonna tell her that we slept together and she's gonna hate me for life. They came over one day and said hi and when my daughter was gone, Harry told me that there's no reason to tell her about what happened. I agree. It's been 16 years of marriage on their part. They have a kid together. Harry got cancer, then beat it. I got sober. That's basically it. I don't see them very often. They live in Texas and I live on

the East Coast, but whenever I do, there's always that tension between me and Harry. It's literally the first thing that comes to either of our minds. I can just tell. Not like romantic tension, like, why did we have to do that? What the F is wrong with us kind of tension? I think about this often, especially when I see my grandson. I always think that could have been my son if things had gone differently. But wow, what a disaster that would have been if I decided to keep that child. So first of all, what the hell did I just read? And second of all, what the hell did I just read?

That story is insane! Our next Reddit post is from crazed archivist. I watched my students beating their classmate and I ignored it. I'm a history teacher and in my class of 12 to 13 year olds, there's this little prick that always makes a lot of noise. Keeps touching and messing with other kids and employees and makes mean, racist jokes about everyone. He's constantly trying to make my life and the life of his classmates hell thinking he's

funny or something. In a nutshell, he's a bully. Yesterday, he destroyed his group project, causing everyone in his group to fail. Although I'm giving more time for the rest of his group to remake all their lost work, I already tried calling his mom, and the woman defends her precious son, saying, he would never do such bad things, he's such a sweetie. Today, I was walking to the teachers room to grab my coffee, and I saw the kid being dragged to a corner. I knew what was going on the moment I saw it, and I just ignored what I saw and kept going on my way.

The kid got roughed up and had to go home early, while every soul in the classroom is silent about the suspects, but I believe that everyone in the class knew about this for some time now. I personally feel no remorse, nor do I plan to advance or help in the investigation. I just pretended nothing happened to get my lecture as always. Our next Reddit post is from Paseca. I run a fake restaurant on a delivery app. I registered a company, bought all the takeaway boxes from Amazon, signed up for a few delivery apps, made a few social media accounts,

and printed leaflets that I drop in mailboxes. I resell microwave meals. On some meals, I add something to make them look better like cheese. So far, it's at around 200 pounds a day in revenue. Nobody suspects the thing. Soon, someone will come for a hygiene inspection, but I'll pass that check without any problems. It's not illegal to operate out of your own kitchen. Should I feel bad? I feel kind of proud to be fair and free as a bird from the 9-5 life. So I did the math on this post and it's not exactly clear if OP works on the weekend, but if he does and this is a full 365 day operation, then OP makes about $73,000 in revenue a year. Not too bad for selling microwave meals. Our next Reddit post is from Hostel Carat. I added Tabasco to Wendy's Chili and used it to get

second place in a chili cook-off. The title basically says it all. This wasn't a professionally organized competition. There was some BMX event with a couple hundred people and they always have a chili cook-off. I'm not much for cooking, so I thought it would be funny to throw a bunch of Wendy's chili in a crock pot and see if anyone noticed. They didn't. I've been a vegetarian for roughly 12 years, so this was a long time ago. You know, it really makes you wonder. Did the first place prize go to Wendy's chili without Tabasco sauce? Our next Reddit post is from That's Boots. When college summer break eight years ago, my friends and I were bored. We remembered a demonstration from a high school science class of a solar balloon.

This was just a really thin plastic bag you'd fill with air, seal, and then set out in the sun. The sun would heat the air in the black bag, and the bag would become buoyant and float. We had the idea to find the cheapest and thinnest plastic trash bags available, and combine a bunch of them to make a huge balloon. We spent a few days driving around to Wal-Mart's and Dollar Store as trying different brands to find the thinnest possible plastic bags and thinnest tape which would work the best. Finally, we took a number of them cut off the bottom ends and taped them together into a huge balloon which

we filled up with a leaf blower and then tied the end. After sitting out in the sun for a half hour or so, we'd done it. We had to mess around with how the tape was sealing the bags to use as little of it as possible, as the way to the tape added up and made the balloon harder to float. Shortly after this, the balloon got away from us. This was disappointing, but we made another one and got funny looks from cars driving by and were entertained for a bit. Shortly after that, this new balloon minutes demise smacking into a tree and getting popped. Oh well, mission success. A few years

later, I happened to cross this news article. The balloon that got away had apparently blown a town over and caused a big UFO panic. People were calling 911, the police, and local radio stations about it. Our boredom unintentionally created a UFO panic in central New Jersey. I moved out of the area but when I got together with my friend, we always bring this up and have a good laugh. Down in the comments, people were investigating the story and they tracked down an actual video that was shot of this trash bag flying over the city. And I'm going to be honest, it does look kinda creepy.

It looks like this maybe 30-foot long black snake is slithering through the sky, and to be honest, it is kind of unsettling. Our next Reddit post is from Enthrosted. A couple years out of college, I worked as an analyst at a pretty small private equity firm. The CEO was one of the biggest buttholes I've ever met. Whole Threnfrew is sharing joy for the holidays with gifts for everyone on your list, and maybe even a special treat for yourself too.

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more, which includes a $200 travel credit toward your flight. American Express, don't do business without it. Terms and conditions apply as at mx.ca slash business platinum. He was fairly young in his 40s, a multi-millionaire, and the type of guy driven solely by money with zero business ethics. He'd do anything to get the upper hand in a deal, regardless of who it screws over. Contractors, employees, I even saw him seriously screw over a long time family friend of his without any remorse. Anyway, aside from my analyst role, as it was a really small business, only about 20 people in the office, and then a bunch of people working remote.

I also happened to be one of the only semi-technology literate people in the company. So like so many of my generation, I became the de facto Millennial Office Computer Guy. Despite my lack of qualifications, I got put in charge of handling pretty much anything minor tech-related. Setting up servers, fixing laptop issues, answering, how do I convert this to PDF questions? Even basic network security. They thought I was some sort of computer genius, but really, I was just mostly winging it, googling pretty much everything.

But eventually, I got legitimately pretty good at all the tech stuff. They gave me bigger tasks like planning all the computer systems for their own businesses and supervising installs. I didn't get paid extra for any of this mind you. After a couple of years of serious BS working there, I was pretty worn out. I wasn't progressing. I hated working for Captain Duschbag. He treated everyone like garbage. I was pulling 12-14 hour days with no overtime or performance bonus. And they weren't paying me nearly what they should have. I also hated being the tech guy and was depressed basically living in a cubicle.

So I decided I full on had enough of the 9-8 live working for buttholes, and I would start my own consulting business working for myself. However, instead of quitting right away, I figured it would be smart to first build up my client based on this side while I was still getting a steady paycheck. So that's what I did. I launched my company and landed my first clients. As the workload increased, I slowly started spending more and more time working on my side business while at my office job.

At first, I was pretty low-key about it, but eventually it was blatant. As it was a super small company, I was the only one who knew how to handle a lot of the important tasks and operate some key internal systems. It was easy for me to tell my boss a project was taking a whole week to complete when I actually finished in 10 minutes. Pretty soon, I was spending 80% of my day working on my own stuff in the office. I'd even take calls for my side business clients at my desk, the rest of the time I was usually dicking around on Reddit or something. Of course, we had systems in place to monitor network activity, but I was the person in charge of monitoring it. This continued for a while. As my own business ramped up, I cared less and less about the office job, and since I hated waking up early, I began rolling into work late. At

first, it was only 30 minutes or so, then it progressed to an hour. When my Boston reprimanded me, it became clear how much they needed me there. I took full advantage of this. Before long, I was arriving around noon, working for a couple hours, then hitting home. My co-workers weren't happy, but I helped them with all their tech problems and they hated the company too, so they kept their mouth shut about it. My boss eventually said something to me about it, but I just came in on time the next few days and then went back to coming in whenever I wanted. After more than two months of coming in 4-5 hours late, and working on my side business in full view of my butthole boss, I couldn't believe I wasn't fired yet.

I deserved it and felt it wasn't inevitable. On a hunch, I decided to do a little investigative work. As I was the tech guy, I also had full access to the company email server. So I logged into the CEO's personal email account and searched for my name. Low and behold, there was a recent email thread between him, my direct boss, and some other team members with my name in the subject line. Obviously, I open it. They're discussing my recent performance issues. The last email in the chain basically said,

If nobody has any objections, I'll be terminating him at the end of the week. This was two days from then. I wasn't surprised, but I decided there was no way I was going to let these buttholes fire me. Although I didn't give a flip about that job, I didn't want to have a termination on my work history. I also wanted to keep getting paid for a while longer. Of course, I couldn't let him know I actually knew I was getting canned. So, I formulated a plan to perform a little inception reverse psychology mind-screw on the CEO. The next day, one day before they planned to fire me, I requested a meeting with him to discuss my current performance. In that meeting, I sat down, planned to fire me, I requested a meeting with him to discuss

my current performance. In that meeting, I sat down and he asked me what I wanted to talk about. So I told him, look, I know I've been a sucky employee lately. I'm sure you've noticed. Correct me if I'm wrong, but I've been kind of getting the feeling you guys are planning to let me go soon. When I said that, the shocked look on his face was priceless. He must have thought I was psychic to work that out on my own the day before it was going

to happen. I remember him just saying something like, ugh, I continued while he sat flabbergasted. So I'll be honest with you, my heart isn't in this job anymore. As you know, I'm an entrepreneur at heart, which I'm sure you can relate to. I want to start my own company. However, as you're aware, I have a lot of responsibilities here that nobody else can do. I then proceeded to list all the things I did and projects I was working on. I could see it on his face when the realization sunk in of how screwed he'd be if I left suddenly.

I said, so here's what I propose. You don't fire me. I don't quit. I keep working here for a month, finish my current projects, and train whoever you want on everything I'm in charge of. After a month is up, I'll continue to come in once per week until it's complete. After that, if you still need me, you can pay me on an hourly project by project basis. I intentionally mentioned the possibility of me quitting so he could feel like he won the negotiation, even though I technically had him by the balls. He paused to think for a minute, then said something along the lines of, okay, you have a deal. So, not only did I get myself un-fired, I actually turned the company into a paying client.

During that month, I continued doing pretty much whatever I wanted since I had an expiration date while training my replacement as promised. After the month was up, they hit me up regularly for remote task work. I charged him triple what I was earning while working there and barely had to deal with the CEO. When my client base was big enough, I dropped them for good. After all that, the CEO still calls me up for advice and questions nearly 3 years later. These days I just blow them off saying, sorry, I'm too busy. OP, I can't figure out why you posted this on R-Slash confession. This sounds more like R-Slash Pro Revenge.

If you ask me, that CEO deserved every single bit of this. They basically stole from you by not paying for your hours and expertise. So as far as I'm concerned, you were just taking back what was owed to you. That was our slash confession, and if you enjoyed this content, then follow my podcast because I put out new Reddit podcasts every single day. day.