rSlash - r/Confessions How I Scammed ATMs for Free $30,000

Episode Date: November 20, 2025

0:00 Intro 0:07 ATM hack 2:30 Salad 3:29 Game night 6:57 Drugged 8:03 Sparkle 9:51 Allergy 11:22 Not fired 12:11 Late fees 14:28 Debt Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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We'd love to talk, business. Welcome to R slash Confessions, where O.P. steals $30,000. Our next Reddit post is from Mooney Mark. I'm in my 50s now, so I'm probably not going to get arrested for this, but I still don't know how this never caught up with me. In the early 80s, ATMs had a feature called Deposit with Cash Back. It was a check caching feature that, for some reason, ran on the honor system. Of course, this feature went away eventually. But I figured out that if I just put an empty envelope into the ATM and didn't seal it, I could claim that the bank lost the money. So the ATM would cash a check. Then a week later, the bank was like, oh, that envelope was empty. For whatever reason, my bank let me get

away with that. That summer, my family stayed in a cottage in Hyannis for two weeks. During that time, I opened savings account at five different banks using the rented house address. They mailed me ATM cards within a few days. I deposited with cash back on Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday. and early Monday. Back then, the limit was $400, and they were going to check the ATMs by Monday, so this game would be over by then. I scored $10,000 back in 1984. According to Google, that is worth about $31,000 by today's standards. No one ever came looking for it. I was never questioned or arrested. I don't understand why or how. The only thing that happened was that the FDIC had me on a list of people who banks shouldn't do business with. I didn't even find out about that

until I was 21, five years after the crime. I was in college and tried to open a bank account and no bank would let me. 40 years later, I have a bank account, and nothing ever happened. It was the only time in my life that I had good luck. Of course, I blew the money. Back then, that was enough money to put down on a house or easily buy a car. I spent it on girls, weed, and beer. It was fun, but I wish I was smarter. It's funny how OP is smart and clever enough to scam banks out of $30,000, but simultaneously dumb enough to immediately waste it. Down in the comments, we have this story from Texas USA.

I was leaving Vegas in a taxi to the airport. I asked the driver if he gambled. He told me he won $60,000 on a slot machine. I asked him what he did with the money. He told me he spent the next six months giving it back to the casino. Our next Reddit post is from Sweaty Ferret. A few years back, I lost my job and had nowhere to live. I moved to Virginia Beach and decided to live with a high school friend on an air mattress in their living room.

We went out that night and ran into two Navy officers and I snagged the better of the two. We went back to my friends and one thing led to another and this Navy officer wanted to tongue my butthole. Who am I to deny it? Well, the next 15 minutes or so led to a ferocious salad tossing. My friend went to get a glass of water and walked through the living room to witness this. It scarred my friend for life. Shortly after, I had to find a new place to live. This has lived in my head as one of the strangest moments for as long as I can recall.

Out of curiosity, is anyone else imagining O.P. writing this post while sitting on the Navy officer's face. Our next Reddit post is from joking sometime. I'm a 25-year-old woman, and I was introduced to Peggy, also 25, through a mutual friend. She had recently moved into a friend's neighborhood apartment unit and was quickly introduced to our friend group. Almost immediately, I could tell that we weren't going to get along based off of some backhanded compliments that were given.

But I decided that it was too quick to judge her fairly and invited her to a game night that a friend and I were hosting. Huge mistake. Game 1, sardines. During a drunken game of sardines in the dark, Peggy faked a fall and pushed my head into a shelf. How do I know she faked it? Because she literally told me in front of everyone and laughed about it, saying, I found him first. That's why I pushed you. Game two, King's Cup. Peggy called me out during the Never Have I Ever portion for having gone through a divorce. Talking about it normally wouldn't have bothered me, since everyone who was there, already knew about it and was really supportive during that time. But it was the fact that she was

trying to single me out and shame me for it. Throughout the rest of the night, this kind of behavior continued, and by the end, I was thoroughly convinced she had some sort of vendetta against me. Finding out what, or in my case, who it was, took almost no time at all. One of our friends, Mark was in attendance that first night. Mark is a tall, kind, funny, and generally attractive guy. Essentially, catnip for her type. At this time, we were pretty close friends, and Peggy did not like that. For the next six months, anytime Mark was around, I had to deal with the most ridiculous, awkward, and petty attempts of her trying to single me out or embarrass me. So I've been planning on getting a dragon tattoo for over a year. I am fully aware that dragons are a common and

trending tattoo, but I wanted it anyways because it was special to me and my mom. About a month before my appointment, Peggy heard a friend and I talking about the tattoo and started asking questions. I swear, I could see the moment the light bulb went off in her head because she grew the biggest shit-eating grin I've ever seen. My light bulb moment happened shortly after. When she asked where and what kind of dragon tattoo I wanted to get, I lied. I told her about how much I loved the movie spirited away and went on a tangent about how I grew up on that movie, how my dad showed it to me, and how my dad said that it would be cool if the dragon was wrapping around my arm or something. Peggy had never seen this movie before, so I encouraged her to check it out and ended the conversation there.

Now, considering she had never seen the movie, I didn't think she would actually do it, but read it, she did it. And it wasn't just a tiny, cutesy little thing either. She committed to my exact description. Her tattoo is freaking huge. When she showed it to me two weeks later, I was in shock, and she probably thought that I was upset for taking something from me. But I went home that night and switched between feeling awful for lying to her and laughing for how utterly unbelievable she was for doing it. Two years later, and I'm still doing that. I had confessed to a friend recently about my lie, and that's when my friend told me. My friend had gone to the tattoo appointment with Peggy the day she got it, and word for word, Peggy said,

O.P. is going to be so upset. This is like the exact tattoo she wanted. Our next Reddit post is from the Red Queen theory. My father was a raging butthole. He used to beat us and yelled us about how worthless we were constantly. My mother finally had enough and said that either he gets psychological help or she leaves him. He went to a doctor and was prescribed an antipsychotic medication. When he started taking it, he magically became nice. No more beatings, no more yelling. it was paradise. Then, after a while, he turned mean again. We asked our mom what was going on and she said that he stopped taking his medication because he didn't like the side effects,

whatever that meant. We felt doom. Until one day my mom accidentally left his prescription bottle in the kitchen. My sister and I looked at each other and didn't even have to say a thing. She got out a spoon and I ground the white pill into a powder and we put it in his orange juice. What a nice day we had! We did this every single day, enjoying our temporary happy home, until the prescription ran out. It was the best month of our childhood, and I'm not sorry. Our next Reddit post is from Very Cute Aha. I'm 30 now, but this started when I was around 27, during a phase where I was trying really hard to be one of those

put-together adults who meal prep, drank sparkling water, and have plants that aren't just dying slowly in the corner. So I bought a 12-pack of LaCroix because, you know, that's what the cool, healthy people were drinking. First sip, it tasted like someone whispered the word, fruit, into a cup of TV static. Absolutely disgusting. But I'd already posted it on my Instagram story with the caption, New Addiction, lull. And that was the beginning of my downfall. Friends started bringing LaCroi over when they visited it.

Co-workers stocked it in the office fridge because I liked it. My girlfriend, now fiancé, thought that it was cute how into sparkling water I was, so she bought me a soda stream for Christmas. Now I'm in too deep. I've become the guy who nods thoughtfully while drinking what is essentially spicy sadness. I have flavors in my fridge with names like pample-moose and limoncello, and I pretend like I can tell the difference. I can't! It all tastes like carbonated regrets.

Sometimes I just want a normal drink. But if I even open a Gatorade, someone will say, whoa, no LaCroix today, and I'll just fake a laugh like, ha ha, got to switch it up. Meanwhile, my soul is quietly screaming. Anyway, if you're young and reading this, never lie about your beverages. That stuff will haunt you. Well, the real solution, OP, is to stop caring about what other people think about you.

Because trying to look cool is what got you here in the first place, and now continuing to try to look cool is why you can't stop. Our next Reddit post is from Creepy Desk. Years ago, I went on a date with this girl who was obsessed with peanut butter. She kept pushing me to try her peanut butter smoothie even when I said that I wasn't in the mood. Instead of just saying no, I blurted out, oh, I can't, I'm allergic. Big mistake. She was super concerned, asked a million questions, and I figured, whatever, I'd never see her again.

But then she introduced me to her friend group, and they all knew about my allergy. At that point, correcting it felt too awkward. Fast forward six years, I'm still friends with these people, and my allergy is a known fact. They warn restaurants for me, they check ingredients. One of them even threw out a peanut butter cake someone brought to a party just to be safe. The worst part, I love peanut butter. I eat it in secret. I have a stash at work.

Once, my best friend said, man, it must suck not knowing what a Reese's taste like, and I just nodded solemnly. Now my girlfriend, who also believes I'm allergic, wants us to move in together, and she's super cautious about food. I am terrified she'll find my peanut butter stash and think that I've been lying to her, which I have for years. I have no idea how to get out of this. Do I fake a miracle recovery, a medical misdiagnosis, or do I just keep the lie going forever? Oh, I don't know, O.P. Maybe just stop being an insecure weirdo and just tell the truth, be the butt of the joke for a couple of weeks, and then move on with your life.

Our next Reddit post is from Big Massif. I used to work at a small ice rink as a Zamboni driver. I'm a broke college kid, and a few of the other employees were broke college kids, so they often had pizza, hot dogs, ramen, and things of that nature in the break room. The thing is, they fired me in December. By that, I mean, they never said that I was fired, but they never scheduled me for any more hours and completely ghosted me. In doing that, though, they never told me to give my keys back, the keys that opened the break room. So every week, I bring a Tupperware, go through the back

entrance, and steal as much food as I can. What can I say? I'm jobless and can't afford food. There's no cameras. Who's going to stop me? I technically work there. I'm invincible and my food comes from their wallet. Our next Reddit post is from admirable alarm. Back in college one semester, I took out several books for a big research project. That was back when internet research was not admissible, and you needed to properly cite all your resources. School and life got away from me, and I forgot about them for a while. That was until the end of the semester when I got a late library dues bill in the mail. I think the fees were 25 cents per book per day, if not more. And I had at least 10 books over a month late. I didn't have any money, and if you

at outstanding library dues, you couldn't get your grades or transcript for the semester. Instead of sheepishly returning the books and paying the fines, I put the books in my backpack, smuggle them into the library, and returned them all to their correct places on the shelves. I then called the library the next day and questioned the validity of the letter regarding my overdue books. The librarian left me on hold for a few minutes and returned to the phone apologizing to me that it seemed the books had in fact been returned. library dues were erased, and they didn't hold back my transcript. Down in the comments, we have this story from Shark Ray Baby.

After graduating from literally the most expensive undergraduate program a few years ago, I waited all summer for my diploma to arrive. My friends slowly got their diplomas throughout the summer. By the fall, I still hadn't gotten mine, so I called to ask. They told me I had a $20 payment overdue at the on-campus health clinic. I called the clinic and they said that it was a missed appointment fee. This was weird because I never missed an appointment. They looked into it.

Apparently, they had double booked me for two appointments at the same exact time one morning. When I arrived, they marked me a showing up for one appointment, but missing the other. Hence, the $20 fee. They apologized, deleted the fee, and mailed me my diploma six months late. I paid nearly $100,000 per year to go to that. that school. And they held my diploma for 20 bucks. Oh, and it's better than that, O.P. Don't forget that for the rest of your life, that school's going to call you asking for donations, as if the 100k a year wasn't already enough of a donation. Our next Reddit post is from understanding this. I've had

cancer for two years now. I did chemo, lost my leg, beat the odds, and managed to even go back to work. Well, things hit the van and treatment stopped working. I've probably got weeks, maybe a couple of months at best. I'm 22, I don't own a house, don't own my car, have maybe 2,000 pounds in the bank. So I took out a credit card, $6,000 limit, 0% APR for 20 months, and I'm now buying whatever the hell I want. The debt will die with me, and I give zero Fs. And if you want to beef me about driving your banking fees up with this behavior, at least you get to live, lull. This is funny. Down in the comments, people are giving OP suggestions for how to get access to more credit cards so that he can

scam even more credit card companies. That was our slash confessions. And if you like this content, be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day.