rSlash - r/F-youkaren Evil Karen Wants to Ban All Dogs!

Episode Date: December 31, 2021

r/F-youkaren In today's episode, an entitled Karen counts all the dogs who walk in front of her house and immediately decides that there are too many dogs in the world! How DARE people walk their dogs on the sidewalk?! Don't they know that dogs destroy concrete? Karen calls for all dogs to be banned so they can protect their precious concrete. WTF? Since when do dogs hurt concrete? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to R-Slash FU Karen, where a Karen expects people to give her $60,000 so she can have her dream wedding. To the individual who stole the bike previously here. If you have a shred of decency, you will return it with a new lock and re-evaluate your life choices. And then, beneath that, another sign is posted. Hey, Bozo, it's illegal to lock your bike to a handicap pole. Check with the city for your bike. They probably removed it so it wouldn't block a wheelchair accessible van.

On this next post, this is a handwritten note that's taped to a handicap sign next to a street. Also, the ultimate troll move would be to return the bike with a new lock, which of course would mean that the Karen in this story wouldn't be able to get to it because it's locked again. So how is she gonna unlock it? Posted a Facebook. Oh my god. Sidewalks

This morning between 9 and 10 am, I counted no less than 15 dogs plus owners walking past my house on the sidewalk. Assuming similar usage over 24 hours, that's roughly 360 dogs plus owners per day, or 180 unique dogs plus owners if we're considering two walks per day per dog and owner. Sidewalks have, on average, a 15-25-year lifespan under normal wear and tear circumstances. But I'm wondering, is this considered normal wear and tear, or are we placing additional stress on our sidewalks from overuse? Our tax dollars go to maintenance and replacements of these sidewalks, and I wish people would be more mindful of this going forward.

They are plenty of parks and yards for your animals. Man, does Karen whip out a calculator, and you can't even do basic logic puzzles correctly. Why would you assume similar usage? Throughout the day, who walks their dog at 3 a.m. in the morning? Man, do you think 50 people can walk past their house at 3 a.m. walking their dog? Come on, lady. Come on. Regarding Costco Mask Off Today.

Rules, do not state that you are with a group. Here's just an individual who wants to shop and breathe free without being harassed. Interact however you want. So go in with the mask and take it off later, or go in without a mask and blast by them as they demand you put a mask on. Once in store, if they ask you to put a mask on, then A, put up a fight, or B, put the mask on and take it off to 20 seconds later. Keep doing this throughout your trip.

Check out. Your easiest bet is to go to the Forest Self checkout registers on the far left. If they do not let you check out without a mask, give them resistance, which is firm, but kind. If they still refuse, leave your cart there and let them unpack it. Then, walk out of the store. I think there may be as many as a hundred people already signed up today for this. Imagine they have to spend all day telling a hundred people to put the mask back on, or all day emptying out a hundred cards, especially with frozen foods. It's will have an impact.

But it won't have an impact on the corporate people who actually make the decision to have mask policies. All it's going to do is piss off the minimum wage workers who are just trying to get through their workday so they can go home and stop thinking about Costco because they don't care lady. Like, they think that their rows of parks are something, but really all they're doing is just harassing poor teenagers trying to make a buck. Okay, this next post is pretty long, so I'm not gonna read the

whole thing in my Karen voice, because I want to save my vocal cords here, so you're just gonna have to imagine the typical Karen voice. Dear friends, it comes with great sadness and I'm announcing the cancellation of my wedding. I apologize for canceling only four days beforehand. Unfortunately, Blank and I have broken up due to some recent and irreparable problems. We've decided to end our relationship and not go forth with any future proceedings. However, we're remaining civil and our silly team for our son. After hours of tears, mental exhaustion, and even disassociation, I've come to this decision. In one hour after posting this status, I'm gonna delete my Facebook.

Social media has caused me only paranoia and toxicity. I'll be spending these next two months backpacking in South America, exploring my soul, and ridding myself of toxic energy brought on by my friends and family. The ones I thought that I could trust the most. Hence, I'll be out of the country for all of October and November. Please don't contact me. When I'm ready, I may make a new Facebook and add friends and family that have an f-ing stabbed me in the back.

How did all this come crashing down? Well, I invite you all on Facebook. Players, bystanders, and side characters are the people in my life to take a seat and listen. You're all involved somehow. You might hear of the drama, and I'd rather you hear from me. I'm not asking for sympathy. I just want to tell my story. Before I begin this mini novel, I invite all of you, including the grunts who have ruined my marriage and life, to put yourselves in my shoes. For once, let me take the stage and let me voice the most painful months of my life.

At first, things were a fairytale. I met the love of my life at 14. We were both young, but somehow we just knew that we were meant to be. We worked on my family's farm together, and with each warm summer spent in the field, our love grew deeper and deeper. Fast forward to high school, we went strong all four years. He put a ring on my finger when I was 18 worth nearly $5,000. We'd put everything on the line for each other, everything.

We both chose to attend the same community college and work full time in order to build our dream. We spent most of our days by each other's sides. I will always be thankful for that. Fast forward a few years, I was 20. I realized I was pregnant with my first child. We were elated, tearful, and thankful to God for this gift. After giving birth to Declan, I knew the next step would be to focus on my career and become

financially stable. My ex did the same. We saved and saved. I was in love, I was happy, and I was looking forward to life. We continued working, and even got our degree. It was hard, yes, but so blissfully worth it. We managed to save up nearly $15,000 for a wedding. Since our love was like a fairy tale, we wanted an extravagant blowout wedding. One where our son could be included. We started touring venues and were torn between the two.

A local psychic told us to go with the more expensive option, and we thought why the hell not? We just needed a little push. Our dream wedding amounted to $60,000, all included with flights to Aruba. Oh my god. All we asked for was a little help from friends and family to make it happen. I specifically, I mean specifically, ask for cash gifts. How could we have our wedding that we dreamed of without proper funding?

We'd sacrifice so much, and we only asked each guest for around $1,500. We talked to a few people who even promised us more to make our dream come true. My maid of honor, who shall not be named, pledged $5,000 along with their planning services. We tearfully thanked and accepted. My ex's family offered to contribute $3,000. So our request for $1500 for all other guests was not effing out of the ordinary. Like we made it clear, if you couldn't contribute, you weren't invited to our exclusive wedding. It's at once in a lifetime party.

So we sent out RSVPs and only 8 people were applied and sent us the check. We were effing livid. How was this supposed to happen without a little help from our friends? To make matters worse, my ex's family took back their offer. Suddenly, more people backed out, including the grunt made of honor. This was my best friends in childhood, my second family. I was so shocked and tearful.

To make matters worse, it was only a month before the wedding. To cancel everything would have been more than $5,000. Duspertly, we recent our invites and asked people to donate what they could. I mean, seriously people, what's $1,000? What's $1,500? Clearly not a lot. It would be quite manageable and within budget.

I've heard of people asking for worse. We also set up a go fund me. That only got us $250. At this point, we were exhausted, tired. I yelled at my ex. I became unravelled. I realized my dream wedding was becoming a nightmare. Then it got worse. My ex came into the room and offered to get a Vegas wedding done. I laughed in his face, but he was dead serious. He wanted those cheap, raggedy, filthy, whore-like Vegas weddings. I mean, what the F was he out of his mind? Am I some huge piece of F-ing trash, a hooker? Am I supposed to like the idea of getting married in the heart of shady gamblers, alcoholics,

and the get-rich-fast fallacy? I ran it coming from someone expecting people to give her $60,000. Jeez. Suddenly, my body began to shake as I entered a panic attack. My ex left the room and didn't apologize for his hard suggestion. I then called my maid of honor and cried my eyes out. Instead of sympathy, I was told that I was asking for way too much and I should stick to my budget. I mean, no words can describe. How could someone who offered me thousands of f-ing dollars and deny me my promised money and then tell me to shift down my budget.

She knows that my f-ing dream was a blowout wedding. I just wanted to be a Kardashian for a day and to live my life like normal. I called her a filthy f-ing poor excuse of a friend and hung up. Then she blocked me off all social media. Rumors swirled. I received anonymous threats. My ex stayed out later and later, and I have a feeling that he even cheated. My bridesmaid climbed on the boat with my maid of honor and distanced me. They essentially told me that I was crazy.

They asked for their deposit back, so I said, F.U. I refused to give it back until they can pay me back for their emotional distress. My ex started to talk to my maid of honor and gossip about me behind my back. I overheard him talking in the basement when he called me a stuck-up B word. Anyway, I'm exhausted. I'm bone-tired. My heart is not the same. It's stone cold. Fragmented. Empty. I need to get away from this awful society. How hard would it have been to

effing donate friends? Do I matter to you? Just effing give me money for my wedding. I won't even sugarcoat. I won't even pretend that that's not what I wanted. It was for a dream. I was stabbed, cheated on, and worked. Goodbye. See you in two months. Friendly reminder to you, grunts. Don't think that you own me. I'm cutting all of you snakes off. I'm living my life alone now. I only let in those I believe have good intentions. XO, XO. And then we get these two replies to this Facebook post. I have no words. You're out of your mind, Susan.

What happened to you? Who in hell expects that amount of money? Oh man. So, I'm gonna guess that the way that this person is funding their two month backpacking trip through South America is by refusing to give back the several thousand dollars that her friend gave her for the wedding and then just basically use it for plane tickets and hotel and food and travel and just use their money to have a vacation away from the people that gave her money.

This lady really trashed on Las Vegas as a get rich quick place and then it's been the entire post talking about how everyone owes her $60,000 so she can live like a Kardashian. Okay, all right. And she's also talking about how she's still a team with her son and then just abandoned her son to go on a vacation for two months. Oh my god, what a woman. This groom dodged a bullet. I mean, it sucks that he had a kid with her, so I guess he's tethered to her for life, but my God. By the way, I should point out that the way that she spells her son's name for those who are listening

and not watching is Declan, D-E-C-L-Y-N, posted by Terry to Facebook. I thought I would share Mario Mob Burger's customer service and care. You may want to spend your hard earned money at another restaurant. They just don't care. By the way, I call the owner three times and he never return my call. Bad move, but proof of why we spend money elsewhere.

Hi, this is Marino's Mob Burger, how can I help you today? Hi, I have reservations for Friday at 3.30 for Mike Blank party of four. I need to change it to a different party size. I'm sorry, I'm not sure who told you that we could take reservations on Friday, but that's Acro-Night. Now, we normally do take reservations, but not on event nights, unfortunately. You could have called me! We normally eat at your restaurant three to four times a month, order takeout a minimum of two times a month, and we're there picking up to go orders during the lockdown three times a week to ensure

your business would stay afloat. So as you said to me, cool. I'll make sure people know far and wide of your management style. Cool. She never said cool. What are you talking about? Oh, by the way, when you respond to your restaurant chat, it's not emailing me back. What terrific customer service you got there, manager Ashley! Then the owner replies, Terry, please call me a blank to discuss. And then, Ashley, the manager who first spoke to Terry, makes a Facebook post that says the following. In light of today's events and for the overwhelming show of support from

our community, for the rest of December, we'll be offering the hashtag Terry discount. Come in and mention hashtag Terry and get 10% off your whole order. Much love from all of us at Marino's mob burger. Much extra love from Ashley Turner and Dave, the owner of this wonderful establishment. So the fact that Manitra Ashley says that they've gotten overwhelming support makes me think that this Karen, who in this case is Terry, must have gotten absolutely blasted in Facebook for escalating, like obviously she should because she was escalating way too fast over nothing,

over nothing. So down in the comments, people are explaining that actually this is a really common tactic that Karen's used with restaurants. What they'll do is they'll call into a restaurant and say they're gonna change the reservation very slightly, like they'll add or remove one person or they'll change the reservation by like 15 minutes. And it's

like why make such a tiny like minor insignificant adjustment? What's the point? And the reason why is because they're basically trying to trick the restaurant person on the phone into thinking that they had a reservation that they didn't have. That way the person on the phone when they go to look up the reservation, they discover that there isn't a reservation there, so they think, oh no, someone screwed up at the restaurant side. So now we're going to have an angry customer, so I have to do something extra to accommodate this customer, because we didn't get the reservation on file like we were supposed to. So yeah, seems like Karen, it's just completely full of BS. One example story

comes from a closet down in the comments. My favorite was when I had someone yelling at the hostess on the phone because their party of six was going to be eight and she said that she didn't see the reservation on the schedule. They were coming in at 3.30pm on a weekday. The place would be completely empty. I made them feel super special, like I was moving heaven and earth to make sure that we had a table for them. And then, and then they walked into an empty restaurant. That was our slash FU Karen, and if you like this content, be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day.

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