rSlash - r/Maliciouscompliance "Call the Cops!" "LOL OK!"

Episode Date: September 27, 2022

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Welcome to our slash malicious compliance where a family of carons gets arrested. Today's episode is sponsored by Honey. I don't know about you, but I do literally 100% of my shopping online. Because of COVID, I pretty much have to shop online because yeah, I don't want to catch COVID and die. But on top of that, I read stories for a living, so I can't afford to sound like this for three weeks straight. Don't you hate it when you get to check out and you don't have a code to put in that little promo code box? With honey, you never have to leave that box empty. Honey is a free shopping tool that scours the internet for promo codes and automatically

applies them to your cart. For example, I buy a lot of audio equipment and I just saved 15 bucks on a microphone with honey at checkout. If you don't already have honey, you could be straight up missing out. It's literally free and installs in a few seconds. And by getting it, you'll be doing yourself a solid and supporting this podcast. I'd never recommend something that I don't use. Get honey for free at joinhoney.com slash r slash that's join honey.com slash r slash or next red a posse from I'm not alone you are I have terrible neighbors they like to get drunk and fight they'll fight anyone each other or even come after my kids

or myself well last night was no exception they were getting rowdy and hollering and I am so sick of it. They were throwing stuff in the road, fighting in the middle of traffic, screaming, and making a scene. I am not feeling great, so I was in bed with the window open. I turned on my lamp, got up to the window to close it, and they saw me. Of course, that started a new round of yelling obscenities at me. I just shook my head. The window was quite big and heavy, and like I

said, I wasn't feeling great, so it was taking some time to close it. The woman yelled something along the lines of, You enjoying the show? Why don't you record this? Your security camera is not working? Why don't you call the cops if you really want to see a show? I had no intention of involving myself. I just wanted to not hear them. Security camera is not working? Why don't you call the cops if you really want to see a show? I had no intention of involving myself. I just wanted to not hear them. But then I remembered that my internet was down and my security cameras weren't working

at the moment. So I propped up a spare phone on my window and started recording while I called the cops. Per their request. I gave the cops a play by play, which they could clearly hear in the background. Within a few minutes, there were several cop cars surrounding their place and mine. The woman ran inside to hide, the man ran to his van to drive off, and their two kids were roaming around in my front yard and just their underwear. I knew they had small kids, but I just assumed they were in bed because I hadn't seen or heard them.

And did I mention that it was like 10 o'clock at night and raining? The police took them all away, including the kids. This isn't the first time, but I'm really hoping that it was the last time, at least for the kids' sake, anyways. Our next reddit post is from Welcome and All. My job pays $35 per day for food when traveling, divided into breakfast, lunch, and dinner. The rules also say that each meal needs to be bought within certain time periods of two hours. You must eat breakfast between 8 to 10 a.m., lunch between 12 to 2 p.m., and dinner between 5 to 7 p.m.

The company didn't use to be very stringent about this because the person who approved travel expenses thought this policy was stupid. Then they replaced her. Because the company would only approve a very cheap flight, I had to leave my home around 3 a.m. I stopped to grab coffee and a bagel around 5 a.m. The new accounting person rejected me and said that I could only buy and eat food with in a certain meal period.

Well, fine. I used to work straight through lunch. I have to work with people from lots of different time zones, so this was sometimes necessary. Now I leave a reject calls during my lunch period because I have to go so I don't miss it. No working late either, I leave at 5 p.m. because I can't miss my dinner period. I also make sure to spend my entire $35. I must be healthy and not skip meals. Coincidentally, hungry homeless people also enjoy my meal periods. Our next

reddit post is from Kayaasha. I was working for a security company. Let's call it ASD Security. We had three shifts, day, evening, and night for the weekday, and 12 hour shifts for the weekend. Being the new guy, I was night shift. The job was at a trucking company. We were in a booth at the entrance, and our job was to basically make a ticket that we gave the driver for the ins and outs of trucks. The ticket had the driver's name, license plate of the truck, the truck's trailer numbers, and the date. Also, we had a log for trailer numbers that we cross checked. Because it was a night shift that had less traffic,

our job was also to do a perimeter check, log in all trailers and trucks in a separate log and stamp the dates on tickets. Also, we acted as a call center for other security guards on other sites. That meant that every hour, the 12 other security guards would call me to check in and say that everything was fine.

If one person didn't check in, I had to call, and if no one answered, I had to send a patrol card to make sure everything was okay. We also had to make sure the doors were locked, the security system was armed, and clean the booth. The client of the trucking company complained to ASD security that I was always on my phone. He didn't like the fact that I was smoking cigarettes and that he saw me on camera talking to myself and he found it weird. But as for the phone thing, it was my job to answer phones.

As for smoking, so what if I smoked? I had to do patrol so I had plenty of free time to smoke. And as for talking to myself, I would be singing to music that was playing in my earbud or commenting out loud on something that I was hearing on the radio. Well Monday morning, my shift was about to end, everything is done, and my checklist is empty of task to do. And who pulls up in an ASD security card, but my director? She pulls me to the side, hands me a letter, and explains what's happening.

It's a termination letter due to the client's complaints. She told me to sign on the dotted line. The only thing I said was, seriously? Here's my compliance. The letter stated that my termination was in one week. Here the law states that if a company fires you, they have to give you two weeks notice. If the notice is shorter than two weeks, the remaining time must be paid out. I happily signed the documents.

I went to the booth to collect my things. My supervisor was relieving me for the day shift, and he was puzzled. He asked me what was happening. I told him that ASD security just fired me, and the letter says that my last day is Friday. He told me to stay in the booth and started yelling at the director while walking towards her. He came back swearing because he was told AST security was firing me. They didn't have a replacement guard and training was about one week.

So when Friday rolled around, my supervisor was not happy. I had a trash bag with the uniform and gear that they gave me. After my shift was done, I drove to the office, dropped my bag on the director's desk, and left. She wasn't at her desk. My phone rang. It was the director asking what the hell was going on and why I bring back my uniform because I still had to work for one more week. I answered, as per the termination contract that I signed, you gave me one week's notice, not two. Therefore, I only need to work one week. I'm sorry, but legally speaking, this letter is signed by both parties.

If I come back to work that extra week and something goes wrong, I'm not covered by ASD security, and this letter can be used as proof against me. Please send me my check for the remainder of my two weeks notice by mail. Have a nice day. She tried to contact me again in the afternoon, but my phone was on mute because I went to bed. I woke up to a text message saying that they're screwed and they don't have a replacement for me.

So could I come in at least for that weekend? I just didn't answer and I never heard from her again. My supervisor called me asking if I was going to come in, but I said no. He was swearing because he had to call the day shift guy, put him on night shifts and take his place during the weekend. And messed up everyone's schedule and they had to fork out overtime that was not paid by the client because it was an ASD security problem. They had to find a replacement ASAP,

train him and get him to work solo during the following weekend, which meant more overtime and more screwed up schedules. And my schedule was super complicated. On one week, I would work 8 hours, 8 hours, 7 hours, and then 12 hours. Then the next week, I would work 12 hours, 8 hours, 8 hours, and then 12 hours. So as you can imagine, they would have a really hard time finding someone you could accept that schedule. And to top it all off, it was Night Shift. Man, I don't even understand the complaint about someone talking to themselves. Is that wrong? Is that bad that someone talks themselves? I talk to myself all the time and that he's smoking on the job? So it's night shift at a security company working outside. So like, why does it matter?

Our next reddit post is from Rintical. Yesterday, I got an email from a customer who wanted an in-depth analysis of dish soap sales for the past five years. Easy peasy. those reports are automated, but it's a bit time-consuming to extract that much data. As I was entering the details into the software to do the job, I see the customer specified product code A190. I check the database, and uh-oh, A190 is the code for scented candles. I think they meant A160, which is dish soap. Due to passion and against, we're supposed to follow job orders to the letter, and if there's a conflict, the product code trumps over whatever else the customer wrote. This is spelled out very clearly in our service agreements.

However, if I suspect a mistake, I can give the customer a call so they can amend the job order and avoid wasting time and money. They're usually very grateful for the heads up, so I call the customer, and I barely manage to say that I'm from companies such and such, when this lady starts berating me about how long this job is taking. First off, I got the timestamped email from her like 15 minutes ago, and this kind of report usually has a turnaround of like 24 to 48 hours. Second, I'm trying to help her by pointing out that she input the wrong product code.

But this lady will just not let me talk. She keeps cutting me off and talking over me. When I finally manage to get two words in and say that I wanted to confirm the product code, she tells me to stop wasting her time and just do what the job order says. Then she hangs up on me. Well, you can probably guess how it went. I ran the request as written for Product A190, which is candles. I sent her the report yesterday. The lady flipped out when she saw it.

Apparently, they needed this report for a meeting, which now has to be rescheduled. My boss and her boss both got involved. The end result is that the customer's boss just sent me a message to please run a report for dish soap, a 160-win convenience, and apologizing for the misunderstanding. My company will waive the cost of the extra report. As I understand it, the lady was moved to a different role that limits the amount of damage that she can do. Already, the fact that she ordered the report the literal day before the lady was moved to a different role that limits the amount of damage she can do. Already, the fact that she ordered the report the literal day before the meeting was

not great. Moral of the story. Before telling someone to shut up, maybe listen to what they're saying. Down in the comments, we have this story from Technos. I worked with a file clerk that pulled a stunt like this. Someone had requested every single file from 1997 to 2000, which would have been millions of sheets of paper, just to make sure she emailed the guy. You may want to reach out your document request. It seems a little broad. It's a pretty simple request.

If you don't want to do your job and get it to me in a timely manner, you can probably find work elsewhere. So, she waited for him to leave early for the day, and filled his cubicle to head height with just the first 9 months of 1997. Our next reddit post is from Effing Stress. Maybe this isn't truly malicious, but you guys could probably use something wholesome. When I was a teenager, I worked at a certain fast food restaurant known for customer service. I used to work the drive-through. I was the voice in the box while also prepping drinks for the window. We'd have people come through with all kinds of requests and grievances.

One day, I was taking a woman's order and she added a bottle of water. She said, The last time I ordered a bottle of water, it was warm, so please make sure that you give me one that's cold this time. We keep the water bottles in a fridge, but please make sure that you give me one that's cold this time. We keep the water bottles in a fridge, but they get stocked from room temperature, so I guess she got one that was recently added to the fridge last time. The lady is really upset about this, and reminds me a few more times to make sure that it's cold.

Being a teenager, I mildly amused with myself when I decide to most certainly make sure her water is cold. I grab one of our extra large cups, fill it with ice, and stuff the water bottle right in the middle. My coworker at the window gives me a weird look, but I just tell her to go along with it. The lady comes to the window, and my coworker hands her this cup, slash ice, slash bottle contraption.

I'm feeling slightly smug. Until this lady starts ranting and raping about how this is customer service and how happy she is to know that this will most certainly be cold. She even ended up submitting feedback to the store about how great it was. At the end of the day, I'm happy she got her cold water, even if it was in the most ridiculous way.

Our next reddit posted from Kasbob. I used to work as a special education teacher. Normally, the special ed team has two preparation hours. The first hour is for completing paperwork, testing kids, IEP meetings, meaning as a team, et cetera. The other prep hour was to literally prep for the academic courses that I taught. The new admin rules in and decides

that we're gonna have one prep hour like everyone else. I reminded the admin of all the extra stuff that special education teachers do on top of normal teaching duties to no avail. Normally, we schedule IEP meetings during that extra prep hour, but now that extra hour no longer exists. So, I start scheduling them before and after school and during my lunch when I have time. I'm a contract employee, which means if I'm required to work outside contract hours, I get overtime pay. Overtime pay requires these pink paper time sheets. Asking for one gets a secretary agitated every time, because she knows the admin hates explaining to the district office why the overtime is required. So I march into the office and request a time sheet.

The secretary is not happy, and she warns me that this will not end well. I just shrug and walk away. So the admin is required by law to attend these meetings. The admin assumes that I'm holding these meetings out of the contract hours, out of the goodness of my hearts. At the end of the month, I submit a time sheet for 20 extra hours. The admin was present for every single one of those minutes, so there's no denying it. The admin charges into my classroom before school the next day, super mad.

I explain to the admin that it might be wise to give the special education teachers that one hour of their time back because otherwise the overtime work will continue. It took a week, but we got that hour back, and I got a nice little extra check in the mail. Man, how many malicious compliance stories and just stories in general on this channel start with? So a new boss got hired and he immediately started making changes. Then inevitably all the employees have to teach this guy why this new plan is stupid and why he's an idiot.

Our next reddit posted from Montflash. Our neighbor reported our old but sturdy shed to the city for being too large without a permit. The inspector comes out, measures, and nope, the shed is well under the size limits and doesn't need a permit. The inspector comes out, measures, and nope, the shed is well under the size limits and doesn't need a permit. Husband starts asking questions about the rules and gets all the specifics on what's allowed. The shed is old and very basic, so why not have a bigger, better shed? Oh, and by the way, the inspector knows the neighbor. Our neighbor used to work in the planning department. She knows the rules and was clearly just trying to make trouble for us. That's her MO. The inspector looks

over into her property and says that he can see a good half-dozen issues if we would like to report them. We laugh but say, nah, we're going to go the malicious compliance route. We rip down the shed, hoping that our neighbor is smugly gloating to herself. We do nothing for three weeks. Well, except draw plans, buy material, lay the foundation, and line up a couple of construction friends to help. Then, one Saturday, our glorious big new shed goes up. Now, we hadn't heard from this neighbor during those three weeks, but now she's asking about our new shed, saying that she would love to see inside, if we don't mind. We did mind. Q another inspection notice for our Shed.

Obviously, the inspection goes fine. Well, except for those violations on the neighbor's property. That unpermitted open fire pit built right against the retaining wall and fence is a concern and we don't want it burning down our new shed. She's got a couple of guys out there right now Jack hammering away her concrete. I think I'll go offer them some cold drinks from the mini fridge and my new shed. This comment from the satch down below offering them drinks is a very neighborly thing to do. Now as soon as she clears up the fire pit problem, move on to the next item on the inspectors list. Do one violation at a time so as to keep her from getting bored.

I also really love the three-week waiting time because it gives her just enough time to feel smug and superior, like she's one. That was our Slash Malicious Compliance, and if you like this content, be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day.