rSlash - r/Maliciouscompliance "GIVE MY CHILD YOUR MONEY!"

Episode Date: June 20, 2022

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Welcome to our slash malicious compliance where OP teaches the neighborhood Karen a very noisy lesson. Our next reddit post is from Stardinia. My uncle is very much one of the coolest people that I know. He crams every second of every day enjoying all that life has to offer, from safari trips to nature photography to beekeeping to tropical fish breeding, complete with custom aquarium building, and more. He's also the nicest guy that you'll ever meet, willing to help anybody with anything at any time. One of his hobbies includes gardening, and

he turned his giant backyard into a pollinator's paradise, with the flower beds enclosed by a small, short white-picked fence. Now having done quite well for himself in his life, he also happens to live in a snooty, upper-class neighborhood with lots of trophy-wife busy-bodies who can't mind their own business. As part of this snooty neighborhood, the HOA rules explicitly state no fences. Of course, what they mean is large fences around your property, not tiny fences around a garden bed. Either way, my uncle's neighbor decided to take it upon herself to report my uncle to the H.O.A. for having a fence. And he got a letter from the H.O.A.

since I guess their interpretation did find that my uncle was in the wrong. His response, to read the entire H.O.A. by-laws to ensure that Wurley gigs, the lawn ornaments that looked like a bird was spinning wings that make an awful constant clacking noise weren't prohibited. They weren't, so my uncle up and replaced all of his garden fencing with those Wurley gigs. Dozens, if not hundreds of them, clacking at all hours of the day and night, it was quite a racket. My uncle's a nice guy, so he took them all down at the end of the season. But I'm sure it humbled that awful neighbor of his. She never said anything to him or the H.O.A.

again, probably in fear of worse retaliation, like wind chimes. Our next reddit post is from Mother Distance. Background, I did some service work on advertisement displays on gas stations. Working on gas stations is highly regulated. You need to wear protective clothing, signal vest, goggles, security boots, helmet, etc. and secure your workplace even when you're working in the customer area where everybody else, including the staff, walks around casually. The certifications needed to do this work are boring as hell. Take a whole weekend off my precious time and have to be done once a year. If the oil company finds out that you didn't follow this protocol, you risk your contract. Our customer explicitly writes in every work order and sign off sheet that this protocol has to be and was followed.

We technician sign off on this. If we do not follow protocol, we are really, really screwed. So one day I was having a really bad day. The last call was somewhere remote, but from where I was, it would only take an hour to drive there. From where I usually start driving during the day it would be closer to two hours. The reported error was something that could be solved easily by rebooting the system, and frankly we've never understood why this was an issue that needed an on-site visit from us, but the customer insisted. When this particular error happens, we usually go to the site, suit up, tell the manager what we need to do, and ask them to step a little to the side.

In 9 out of 10 cases, the reboot button can be reached with a long screwdriver, so no ladder and no secured work area is needed. It takes less than 5 minutes, then confirming that everything works with the customer takes another 10 minutes. This stretches the security protocol just a little bit, but we all agree that this would be okay and nobody would be endangered and in this special case everyone would benefit. So I called dispatch and told them at 1500 hours that I would head out to that location. At 1600 hours, I could literally see the sign of the gas station up ahead. My phone rang, and I was told that our customer ordered me to abort because today they only work until 1630. I tried to reason with them that the job would be done in less than 15 minutes and I was already on site, but nope.

The customer went in to leave early today. I was furious. So as I arrived the next day, I did what every responsible tech would do. I assessed the situation and found out the button I needed to push was just out of reach, and thus I had to set up a ladder. This meant that I had to set up a proper workplace. This meant by the safety regulations I had to close down the registers. I told the manager, and to my great surprise, he didn't like this. Dispatch informed our

customer of the situation. I was told to wait while they discussed the situation. An hour later, I had a nice chat with the manager and a really good coffee. The customer asked me if I could do the work without securing my work zone. Naturally, I informed them that I'm a certified technician and that security regulations are very clear about what has to be done. I also reminded them that their work order and sign-off sheet required all security measures be taken. They needed to discuss the matter a little bit more, so I got another coffee. An hour later, I was asked again to just do my work without closing down

the registers. I reminded them of the security protocol, but I offered to do as they asked if they would send me this in writing. One coffee later, I was cleared to leave the sites. This could have been the end of it, but nope. The device still needed a reboot, so I got a work order for it two days later. And low and behold, the button was still just out of reach. So same game, same outcome. So instead of letting me do my job when I was already on the site, they paid me an absurd amount of money for not doing my job when I was already on the site, they paid me an absurd amount of money for not doing my job because of a very strict security protocol they insisted on following. Honestly, I can't really blame them for not wanting to shut down the registers because I have a sneaking suspicion that O.P. would have taken a really, really long time to do the job. Not out of incompetence

or laziness, but just to make sure that he did the job correctly. You know, double checking, triple checking to make sure that everyone was safe, because safety's important, right? Our next Reddit post is from Keto Donzi. After working at a toxic office job for a few years, I decided it was time for me to leave. I gave my a bit more than two week notice and started to organize my my myriad of tasks for handoff. I was an accounts payable assistant and the company had created my position and added various tasks with other departments over the years. I helped with accounting, inventory, audits, customer service, marketing, sales, and events. My primary manager,

Barb was the accounting manager, and there was always a struggle because she assigned the extra work to me, but then refused to acknowledge that I did work for departments other than hers. She was the primary reason for me leaving. Every day, I ask her if we can have a meeting to discuss my different tasks, how I organize them, and how to complete them, because no one else in the company does them but me. She refuses to meet with me and just reminds me to keep up with my deadlines. No problem. For the next two weeks, Barb doesn't remove a single task from my plate.

She refuses to meet with me for any reason, and consistently sends condescending emails about the lack of work effort that she's seeing from me. I don't have the emails saved anymore, but they all included the same message. I'm the boss, just do your job! I brought this to the owner's attention since I worked closely with her, about how I felt like there was no bridge to the next person in my position. I was told, but I runs the accounting department, so just do what she says. Yes, ma'am. I showed up every day and worked as if I wasn't leaving. Other managers asked

me who was taking over tasks that I handled for them. I referred them to Barb, who told them that she handled accounting, not their departments, and to stop wasting her time. She then told me to only work on accounting-related tasks because that was the position, regardless of the last few years of my task being spread across the company. I got this in writing and printed a few copies to cover myself. On my last day, Barb called me into her office and scolded me for ignoring 75% of my duties. Specifically, inventory was due that day and I hadn't begun it. I reminded her of her accounting work only demand, which she claimed wasn't referring to inventory. She told me

to compile a list of all the non-accounting jobs I handled, but I was prepared because I'd already made a list. Many of these items had deadlines that were missed or were coming soon, but I ignored them as per her instructions. I was told that if I didn't meet my deadlines for the week, she wouldn't give me a good reference. She also told me, stay as late as you need to finish up. I didn't need her reference, and I wasn't staying late on my last day. I forwarded the email of her telling me not to complete any other jobs to the owner,

along with the list of missed or close deadlines that wouldn't be met now. Then I clocked out and left, never to return. This was years ago, and from what I've heard, she still runs the accounting department for them. I was the one blame for the task not being complete. Oh well, man, I'm amazed by how much like integrity people have in all these posts. If I came into work on my last day and my manager scolded me for not doing my job, I'd be like, okay, uh, see ya, I guess, not my problem anymore. Like, you expect me to feel bad that I'm not doing my job well? Lady, I'm quitting. I don't care anymore. Our next Reddit post is from snort giggles. A couple of weeks ago, my kids and their neighbors decided to have a big sale.

We live in a tourist area with high-foot traffic and the kids make a killing. I tell the kids that I ought to charge them for labor and ingredients so they can learn the concept of neck gains. But instead, I donate to their cause and tell them to just bring me back the money that I lent them to make change. I love seeing the kids be entrepreneurial, work hard, and get so excited at their success. After a couple of hours, the neighbor's son decides that he's bored and wants to go home, so he tells my kid, When you're done, come by and deliver half the money.

Mine says, Hey, that's not fair. If you're leaving, we should split the money now. Mine Jew, the bulk of their sales, was my baking. The neighbor kid gets super pissed, but mine sticks to their guns. They split the money, and the kid leaves in a huff. My kid comes home a few hours later, having lugged home all the gear and cleaned up, annoyed that the neighbor kid got annoyed at them. Then I get a knock at the door. It's the neighbor's mom, with the kid who's still pouting. The mom is holding a receipt. The mom

explains they purchased a bunch of stuff for the bake sale and it costs a lot of money and it's not fair that my kid is making money off of their supplies, and that they should be compensated for what they purchased. The receipt list is a bunch of items that I, and that they should be compensated for what they purchased. The receipt list is a bunch of items that I immediately see that they didn't use, like two boxes of cereal when they only used one and napkins, which I ended up providing, but whatever. And never mind that her son went home early and left mind to clean up, and never mind that I'd been churning out batches of

cookies all morning. I'm mad that they've taken what was a fun, cheerful day of kids making money hand over fist and shown up at my door making me engage in a super awkward conversation because they assume their kid can't be wrong. So I say, of course, and fetch my receipts, I sit down and in front of them out loud, calculate the cost of lemonade and the cups used. I calculate the cost of flour, sugar, chocolate chips, vanilla and butter per batch of cookies, multiplied by the number of batches I made. I toss in the baking soda for free. So generous.

I even subtract the value of the leftover cookies. Did I mention that I made a lot of cookies? By the end of the calculations, the neighbor kid owed us $23. They got pretty quiet all of a sudden. I think the neighbor for making sure things were fair and offered her a plate of cookies to take home. She declined. The end.

Sorry, Karen, that's the way the cookie crumbles. Our next reddit post is from Who Screwed the Pooge. Many years ago, I worked for a little company. The CEO was a miser of the first order. We needed image hosting for a large client account, and the CEO was unwilling to pay for maybe two to three thousand dollars in annual image hosting fees at the time. Even though this company made millions of dollars off the deal, me being an enterprising individual figured out a way to host the images on Flickr.

I saved the login information into a physical notebook, and I kept telling them that this is a house of cards, and we really need to switch to a professional service. Several months later, I was promoted, and I asked for a raise to go with my promotion. The CEO said no. I tried negotiating, but the CEO said no, and to leave if I didn't like it. So I left. The CEO told me to forget everything related to the job here, and he would sue me if I did anything with a client to count afterwards.

I ease sabotage the company or steal clients. I told him I'm leaving all of my knowledge behind in a notebook and my final email to him and my manager. Recently, I received a message from the CEO telling me to help them with my old accounts or he would sue me. Apparently Flickr changed their terms of service and the images were deleted. In over 10 years, nobody updated any documentation or the image hosting. Nobody bothered checking the Flickr account either. I told him that I can't help. Per his request, I forgot everything I knew about his company and anything that I knew was in that notebook that I left him over 10 years ago. Seriously though, I don't remember what I had for breakfast, let alone technical details

from a decade ago. I just laughed. So taking a page out of the CEO's book, make sure to like this video and subscribe, otherwise I'm suing you. Our next Reddit post is from Juggalo Chris. I'm a 24 year old guy and I had this boss, a woman of unknown age, who's very nice and laid back, and calls everyone, SHOTJA, which means cutie and Dutch, we're in the Netherlands. The reason why is because she's a mom, so it just became habit or something. No one has bothered by it. Anyway, today I jokingly said to her, don't call me cutie to which she

jokingly replied, okay, after which she called me a Dutch insult which could roughly be translated to A-hole. Anyway, everyone who was there at the time laughed, including me, so it wasn't that bad, but it was pretty funny so I wanted to post this. Anyway, I guess I got what I wanted. That was our slash malicious compliance, and if you like this content, be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day.