rSlash - r/Maliciouscompliance How I Got Paid $1,500/hour to Unload Boxes

Episode Date: September 22, 2022

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Welcome to our slash malicious compliance, where OP tricks someone into paying him $1,500 per hour. So I was a trucker for a while, and that comes with plenty of stories of crazy things in so many places. One of my favorite stories, however, comes from a piece of malicious compliance that came together just perfectly. The setup. I tend to be a bit on the lazy side when I can get away with it, and I search for quite some time to find a company that would keep me far away from unloading the trailers myself. I found a good company that had a 95% drop in hook rate. That is, drop off a trailer that's full of goods and then grab a new one that's already loaded. 4.9% of them are either handled by the receiving dock or the dock workers. That 0.1% is a group of places that just want to watch you work or their convinced that you
Starting point is 00:00:49 really shouldn't operate their lifts. My contract lists my hourly rate for unloading. Not for hours that you're just sitting and waiting to be unloaded, but for when you're actually unloading your own trailer. I also saw that my contract allowed for alterations to be made for the price of this service to be charged the customer. As a joke, I put in not one, but two extra zeros. $1500 an hour for unloading a trailer? That should deter most people. Most people saw that number, got a good laugh, then pulled in someone else to unload for me.
Starting point is 00:01:22 The event. Most people, like I said, were smart. This run was set to arrive at 3 a.m. to a certain clothing store in the mall. I had been to the store a few times before and it was always the same manager, Mr. Dime receiving me and it was always the same run around. If I wanted to get unloaded, I had to wait for someone to get there. Then I'd have to sit and wait while the poor kid back there got the load off. Then I'd have to wait for traffic to ease up to get out, since by then it was almost always 10.30 by the time I left.
Starting point is 00:01:53 That left me with only a couple of hours on my clock to get to a truck stop for the day. I get there and yup, Mr. Dime had come in to accept the load. Now admittedly, it's hard to be smart at 3am, and I can only imagine that was part of Mr. Dime's usual runaround. This time was a bit different for a few reasons. For one, he smelled like there was a bit of an herbal calming remedy about him to settle his nerves for the night. Two, he said that he was completely understaffeded and there was no one around to unload me,
Starting point is 00:02:25 so I had to unload myself. 3. I couldn't stay to my usual time because I had to leave before 5. To be fair, I did try to say to him, sure, but my contract says, I don't give a damn with your contract states. I don't have anyone in until the store opens, and I've got an appointment that's more important than some trucker's contract. Just unload it yourself. I considered it for a moment and then went back up to my truck to get my tablet. Mr. Dime was fuming when I came back and handed him the tablet.
Starting point is 00:02:56 I said, just read through the contract and sign it with your finger. But he didn't read it through. I had 20 pallets and each one was like 500 pounds. The only available tool to unload it was a manual pallet jack. I started my work clock and began unloading at 3.15am. At 5am, Mr. Dime looks on in satisfaction to see me about 75% of the way through and he's out the door. At 5.15am, Mr. Dimes' replacement, Mr. Quarter of the day shift, comes running in with his face as white as a sheet. He says, please tell me that I'm reading this wrong.
Starting point is 00:03:33 I wish I could. I lied, knowing that Mr. Dimes was about to be up a muddy creek with a spoon. I even tried telling Mr. Dimes what he was getting into, but he just came through the contract and signed it. Mr. Dime what he was getting into, but he just skimmed through the contract and signed it. Mr. Quarter slumped. Wait here, I need to call my district manager. Well, you better be quick, because I want to be out of here by 6.30 to beat the morning rush and get a good breakfast.
Starting point is 00:03:56 He ran back and I continued unloading. When I finally got off the last pallid at 5.50 am, I turned off my time clock as a district manager came in. We'll call him Mr. Dollar, just to keep it consistent. Finally got off the last pallid at 5.50am, I turned off my time clock as a district manager came in. We'll call him Mr. Dollar just to keep it consistent. Following him was Mr. Quarter who looked somewhat relieved and Mr. Dime who was somewhere between terrified and furious. Are you OP?
Starting point is 00:04:19 Asked Mr. Dollar holding out a printout and looking at the name. That's me, I said. I take it they sent over the contract that Mr. Dime signed. Yes, and looking at the name. That's me, I said. I take it, they sent over the contract that Mr. Dimes signed. Yes, and that's just it. Mr. Dimes is accusing you of forging his signature on this contract, since there's no way he would sign off on a multi-thousand dollar contract
Starting point is 00:04:37 just to unload a trailer, especially since he claims that you insisted on unloading it yourself. I whistled. Whooo! That's a heck of an accusation. Hey, is that CCTV I see up in the corner over there? I asked, knowing full well that the entire loading dock was covered by a slew of cameras. The one I pointed out was positioned just right to catch the whole conversation at the door. Mr. Dollar said, Mr. Quarter, get the footage.
Starting point is 00:05:05 We don't have audio, but we do have a visual on them. At this point, Mr. Dime lost his fury and now looked petrified, the fallout. After reviewing the footage, I was grinning like a loon back in my truck. I called my manager, booked some home time, and walked away with enough money to last me to the end of the month.
Starting point is 00:05:25 The next time that I went to that store, there was a new, much more sensible manager, who always had a man on staff to unload the trucks. Alright, so doing the math on this real quick, 315 AM to 550 AM is about two and a half hours give or take. So that comes out to $3,870 for basically two and a half hours of work. Not too bad. Thank you so much, Mr. Dime, our next reddit posted from Ad Electrical. So I used to work for one of the top delivery companies
Starting point is 00:05:59 in the UK. There was a lot less competition 15 years ago. I was very good at my job. Then one day, income's a new manager, and it was the cliche that you dread. You've probably all met the type. Suit slightly too big and a trainee mustache. He had just finished university, and to his credit, he got himself a business degree. The problem with this company was that every office around the whole country was run differently. And this poor manager was expecting every
Starting point is 00:06:30 person to do things by the letter, but most of the work was done on goodwill since we were allowed to finish for the day when we completed our deliveries. So on his third day, after watching me daily and asking me why I was doing things in a certain order, I told him that my delivery route was complex, and it required that it be done in a certain order to ensure the time deliveries got there before 1pm and other delivery staff were feather delivery materials at certain times. He replied, no, it doesn't work like that. I simply stared at him for a few seconds, bemused, and said that I didn't understand. He said that he explicitly wanted
Starting point is 00:07:05 me to follow company guidelines when I made my deliveries today. I argued very hard against him, and I said that he would regret it because I wouldn't finish all of my deliveries. But he insisted that I was wrong because everything was timed and measured. So, after an exasperated 15-minute heated discussion, I did as I was told. To the letter, the five staff members that I fed deliveries to weren't happy, but they understood. It was like a domino effect of carnage. At 12.30 pm, we all called the office to tell him that we had failed our time deliveries, which freaked him out because they were strictly monitored.
Starting point is 00:07:42 Then, we had to take mandatory break times at a certain time, which left 15% of our routes unfinished. So now he had to complete them. He had to fill out all reports for our failed 1PM deliveries, all work failures, and then had to call in managers from other offices to finish it all. All the managers finished their work
Starting point is 00:08:01 about four hours late. This guy was not popular. The next day, he asked me to show him the ins and outs of my delivery route in detail because I didn't expect that to happen if I'm honest. That was close enough to an apology for me. We actually became good friends over time, but he never again questioned me when I said nope ever again. That is very refreshing. I have read tons of stories of managers who think that the second they step into the office they know exactly how everything should be run. So I was expecting this guy to like turn things around an OP and try to blame OP
Starting point is 00:08:36 for it, but no. He realized he was wrong and he fixed his mistake, which is actually kind of impressive. Business notifications getting out of hand buried under an avalanche of customer emails, which is actually kind of impressive. businesses run better on Thrive. Get Command Center for free today at Thrive.ca. That's THRYV.ca. Terms and conditions apply. Free plans have limited functionality. Our next reddit post is from Mr. Sean Taylor. This isn't my story, but it happened to a friend of mine. Like many Canadians, he worked in a famous coffee chain named after a hockey player. These restaurants can get very busy during peak hours, so patients can run a tad thin in the workers. My friend lived in a small town with a high retiree population.
Starting point is 00:09:32 This coffee house gave a senior discount. It was common that they would request their discount along with their orders to ensure that they would get their discount. One day, a senior woman came in during the afternoon rush and my friend greeted her as they normally did. How may I help you? I went a small coffee in my senior's discount. My friend started pouring the coffee in the cup and said, okay, what would you like in
Starting point is 00:09:53 your coffee? I went my senior's discount. Yes, ma'am, I'll give you your discount. How do you take your coffee? I went my senior's discount. Ma'am, I understand. I'll give you your discount, but I first need to make your coffee. What do you want in your coffee?
Starting point is 00:10:11 My seniors discount! My friend had reached his limit. The seniors discount on a small coffee worked out to be about ten cents. So he reached into the cash till, picked out a shiny new dime, dropped it in the coffee, put on the lid, handed it to the lady and said, okay, ma'am, one small coffee with the seniors discount. He immediately went for a break and never came back. Our next reddit post is from Vegas, Mackai. Many years ago I worked at Kingcos. I often worked graveyard shifts and had to deal with lots of people early in the morning who hadn't had their coffee yet. For some context,
Starting point is 00:10:50 overnight was the time when long machine runs were printed and tedious finishing work was done. Since I was the only one working until 6am when the other crew started to arrive, I was often in the middle of something when a customer came in so it would take me a second to get to the counter to help them. One morning around 5am, I'm in the middle of something when a customer came in, so it would take me a second to get to the counter to help them. One morning around 5 a.m., I'm in the back doing some binding work. I hear the door alarm and had just put a perfect binding in the heater. It takes like 15 seconds to melt the glue to bind the pages. The customer yells back, I'm in a hurry!
Starting point is 00:11:19 I finish the binding and go to the counter. Sorry about the wait, what can I do for you? Can I see your resume paper selection? Our resume papers were literally sitting six inches away from her on the counter and a little bound book that said, resume paper printed in big bold letters. I slide the book over in front of her and open it up. As she flips through it, she complains about the color and texture of every paper before asking me the price.
Starting point is 00:11:45 I said 15 cents per copy, plus 7 cents if you want to print on the second side. That's expensive! Don't you have any better paper for that price? Sorry, but that's our full selection of resume papers. The only other options are plain white copy paper, neon color paper, or card stock. Are you going to need this double-sided or single-sided? I could see that she had a two-page resume in front of her, which was usually printed single-sided. Which one is cheaper? Double-sided will be cheaper, but for resumes, our customers usually prefer single-sided. Just give me 50 copies, double-sided on the sandstone.
Starting point is 00:12:19 I confirm her selection and head back to the copier to complete her order. I print out a proof, and as a matter of quality assurance, I give it a once over to confirm there's no mistakes. I noticed that her job title was something like, Copy Wider. So instead of Copy Wider with an R, she wrote Copy Wider with an E. I assume that she meant Copy Wider, and I confirmed as much by reading a bit about the description. I said, ma'am, I noticed that your previous job title is. She interrupted me. I had appreciated if you don't snoop into my personal information.
Starting point is 00:12:51 I apologize, I just noticed a tight. Please just print my order. Okay. I printed the entire stack of 50 resumes and was squaring them up when I noticed Lorm epsom-delor in the last paragraph of the page. At this point I had to tell her, right? As I'm walking over to the counter to show her the messed up filler text she yells out, well you please not crimp the pages, I need to hand those out. So I make it to the counter and gently place her copies in a bag and wring her out. She did come back later to complain, but my manager assured her that we don't make it a practice to proof free customers' documents because that's
Starting point is 00:13:28 their responsibility. Down in the comments, we had this story from Evil Sir. I worked at Kinkos in the early 2000s. My store was on what you would call Copy Row. There were at least four different copy shops on the same street because we were just down the street from a major university. Those other stores had significantly lower prices than we did for everything and they weren't shy about posting them all over everywhere. So as a result, people would come in
Starting point is 00:13:55 and argue about the pricing all the time. I had this one customer come in and say, so I'd like these photos printed out on glossy card stock. It's for my thesis paper. Awesome, that'll be $1.49 per impression. Why are your color prints so expensive? That's literally theft! Well, you see, our printers are absolute top of the range, and the glossy card stock
Starting point is 00:14:18 is a premium. The shop right across the street has color prints for like 25 cents! They sure do, but I promise you that their printers are old and that their price isn't for card stock and their card stock is super cheap. So if you do use them for a color printing, they're equal, run, and smear, and streak. It'll look awful. And this is for your thesis, so this is outrageous. I'm going across the street. Okay cool. Pay the minimum
Starting point is 00:14:47 which is $15 and then just run your finger across them. They'll streak. I'll see you in a few minutes. Die and hell you money grubbing overpriced corporate bastard. Mm-hmm. See you soon. Three hours later. I would like you to print my thesis with color interleaves on cardstock please. The stuff I printed over there got ruined so I can't present those. Absolutely sir. Our next reddit post is from No Gear. This is my grandfather's story and it dates back to the 60s.
Starting point is 00:15:17 My grandfather was a first generation American, the youngest of eight children, the son of English immigrants. He met a sweetheart at the age of 19 and married her soon after. Her family were California's, which were Mexican citizens who became Americans due to California becoming a part of the U.S. And they suffered some prejudice due to their heritage. My grandfather used to go with his father-in-law to the bank to make sure that his father-in-law could cash his checks without issues. One time a bank teller passed him his money without counting it out. So after leaving the counter, he counted up the money, and found the teller had accidentally
Starting point is 00:15:52 given him twice the amount shown on the check. So my grandfather and his father-in-law went back up to the teller and said, excuse me ma'am, but I think you've made a mistake. Looking down her nose at him, she said in a condescending tone of voice, Welles Fargo NEVER makes a mistake. Being an honest guy, my father-in-law said, but then my grandfather stopped him and said, You heard her, Welles Fargo NEVER makes a mistake. Let's go. And off they went. That was our slash malicious compliance and if you liked this content be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new Reddit podcast
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