rSlash - r/Maliciouscompliance How I Tricked My Stupid Boss

Episode Date: January 5, 2024

0:00 Intro 0:08 CEO laptop 1:43 Comment story 2:59 TV 4:46 Two weeks 5:59 Leave you alone 8:09 Your pants 10:02 Cellphone policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Shop Peloton's New Year offers at 1Peloton.ca- slash deals. All Access Membership Separate Terms Apply. Welcome to our Slash Militias Compliance, where a company learns the lesson. Don't mess with the IT guy Our next reddit posted from smock one. I was sitting in my office one slow day and the CEO walked in This is always a pucker moment even though I'm on very good terms with him He handed me an obviously non-business laptop and asked me if I could get it up and running quickly because it had something very Important on it since I wasn't doing anything and since this guy signs my paycheck, I said, you got it, sir. Later, a middle manager came in and asked me to do something and I said, your number two in line and pointed to the obviously non-corporate laptop that I was fixing.

The manager did not like that much and demanded that I call whoever it was and tell them that it wasn't acceptable for me to be working on personal equipment. So I pulled out my cell phone and called. My manager could only hear one half of the conversation, but what he heard was something like this. Hey, CEO's name. I got Bob here telling me that it's not acceptable for me to be working on your personal stuff and he wanted me to call you and tell you Oh sure, he's right here hang on then I handed the phone to the manager the manager started off by saying it is not Accepted and then his eyes got real big and the rest of the conversation was yes sir and no sir He hung up and thundered, why didn't you tell

me it was a CEO's laptop? I said, you didn't give me a chance, and demanded I call them right now. Or you know, you could have given the real reason, because I want to watch you suffer, because I want to see you embarrass yourself, you doofus? Down in the comments, we have this story from Tees in Rick. I remember a conversation like that. It was my first sergeant trying to yell at me for fixing the battalion commander's personal laptop. His instructions were, I've got to get coffee and go to the bathroom. Please, please fix my laptop.

Give me a call when you have news. After that, my first sergeant came to fix a phone over at the supply office and I told him, I'll get on it as soon as I'm done with this first sergeant came to fix a phone over at the supply office and I told him, I'll get on it as soon as I'm done with this first sergeant. Then he did that thing that first sergeants do when they lean in and start yelling, you're gonna get off your butt and do it right mother-epping now! This happened while the commander was walking down the hall to the coffee maker. He popped up behind the first sergeant and I spoke up, good morning sir. The commander says, what's happening here?

The first sergeant starts replying. This insubordinate little turd thinks that he can work on his personal laptop. The commander interrupted. It's mine. The first sergeant turned purple, faced me and spat out, carry on. The commander replied, no, you carry on. I'll let you know when he's

available. I saved all the commander's family photos from the failing hard drive. The commander never disciplined the first sergeant and the first sergeant didn't speak to me for 18 months. Our next reddit post is from dazzling ferrets. During my first year of university, I shared a house with one other girl and three boys. The other girl kept to herself, mainly. I was the only one who had a job, and, therefore, the only one who brought stuff into the apartment other than clothes and a laptop. I decided to be nice and put my quite large TV in the front room so that everybody could watch it, because I would always just use my laptop when I was in my bedroom.

One of the boys brought a PlayStation with them and connected it to the TV, which I had absolutely no problem with. For the first couple of months, everything was fine, and we all shared the TV really well. I would generally watch one or two hours of TV on the days that I wasn't working, and they used it most of the other time. After a while, every time I wanted to use a TV, they'd say, there are three of us in one of you, so just go watch it in your bedroom so we can play FIFA. Now, normally, there are a lot of things that I have no problem watching on the laptop,

but there are some things that I would much rather watch on a real TV. I did politely point out that the TV belonged to me, and I was only wanting to use it for an hour. Eventually, I had enough and snapped. I came down to watch something that I told them I wanted to watch on the previous day and they told me to go watch it in my bedroom. So I did exactly that. I unplugged the TV and disconnected their PlayStation and just carried the TV back up to my bedroom. I set it up just in time to watch my program, which I had to turn up extra loud to drown out their moaning and banging on my door. The only annoying thing is that the next day, one of them called the Bank of Mommy and

Daddy, who apparently agreed that I was awful, and ordered a new TV for them so they really only went for like a week without the TV. Our next reddit post is from Mother Practice. So when I was in my early 20s, I worked at a well-known sandwich franchise. I actually really liked my job and I would open and close. I'd also come in whenever anyone called out because I lived 5 minutes away. One day my boss hires a new person, no big deal. Except my boss kept cutting my hours more and more and giving them to the

new person. I went from working 30 plus hours a week to working less than 15. Oh, and I was also training them. So after a few months of my hours getting cut, but me still coming in whenever they called me, I put in my two weeks. My boss proceeded to not schedule me for a single hour after that. Q malicious compliance. One of my co-workers who would call in regularly didn't come proceeded to not schedule me for a single hour after that. CUME LITIOUS COMPLIENCE One of my coworkers who would call in regularly didn't come in to open the store at 6am, and when I drove by at 11am, it was still dark. My old boss had called me to ask if I could open for her.

Nope, you didn't want to give me any hours after I put in my two weeks notice, so you figure it out. Well I drove by that store for a couple of weeks, and wouldn't you know it, it was only open half the time. Hey, OP, seems fair to me, if she's going to stop giving you work out of the blue, then you can just stop working out of the blue. Her next credit postage from Squirrel Master. When I was around 15 or 16, a friend and I went to the local mall in the weekend to

hang out and hit the arcade. After a bit, we decided to get a drink at the food court. While we were standing in line, an older man, late 30s or early 40s, looking like he just got out of the gym, decided to cut in line in front of us. The line was fairly long at this point, around 10 people deep. I tapped him on the shoulder and said, sir, we're in line here. He shot us a look and turned back around, pretty much ignoring the fact that we were there.

When he got nearer to the register, he reached into his pocket to take out his wallet. As he did so, a wad of cash fell onto the floor, unnoticed by him. As rude as he was, I was raised to be courteous and respectful. I picked up the cash and said, Excuse me, sir, at which point he replied, without even turning to look at me, shut up and leave me the effulone. I turned back to look at the older gentleman behind us, who just smiled

and shrugged. So, I placed the cash in my pocket. When it was time for him to pay, he opened his wallet to discover that there was no cash in it. He quickly turned around and scanned the floor. When he didn't find the money, he asked us if we had seen him drop it. My friend said, can't help you. We were told to shut up and leave you the eff alone. The guy was a bit angry, he ranted,

but in the end, he walked away without his money. Turns out there was a hundred and forty-seven bucks in there, a nice haul for a broke kid in the early 90s. Another time when I was a little older, I'd gone to Wallyworld. I purchased something fairly inexpensive and I paid the cashier. She handed me around $87 in change. I said, ma'am, I think you gave me the wrong change. She looked at it and told me that it was right. I responded, but ma'am, she cut me off spitting mad and went into a rant about how she was very good

at math. I let her finish and simply said, okay, sorry to bother you ma'am, I then took my leave. I wonder how she felt about her math skills when she counted her drawer after her shift. What I was trying to tell her was that I had paid with a $20 bill, not a $100 bill. Our next Reddit post is from PokeDokiLoki. This story was just told to me by my amazing Haitian grandma. She's not the greatest at speaking English, so some of this might have been a little lost in translation. We were listening to our slash and the topic of periods

came up and how some people are low-key and educated. I was telling her stories about how some girls weren't allowed to go to the bathroom by male teachers, even on their periods, and she told me this gem. She told me that she was in the Dominican Republic for vacation, and she was shopping at a store. Now she said that back then, she was bigger than she is now, and she was wearing a skirt. She was, of course, on her period and was wearing a pad. Apparently, the pad was poking out in the front a little. The

store manager had told a female clerk to come to the front because, apparently, they had noticed the bulge in my grandma's pants. The interaction with something like this. Hey, what are you hiding in your pants? My grandma said, nothing. Ma'am, I can see you smuggling something. I'm gonna have to call security if you don't tell me right now. My grandma said, okay, call them. The store clerk obliged and called security. They came shortly after and talked to my grandma. The security officer said, ma'am, what are you hiding? I already said I'm not hiding anything. You're lying. Show me.

At this point, my grandma was getting fed up and just decided to follow his instructions. She, she pulled on her underwear and ripped the pad off and placed it in his hand. Blood exposed and all. The pad was bloody. The man was apparently appalled and screamed, ew, what is that?

And started screaming. Other customers had stepped up to defend my grandma, Apparently a Paul didn't scream, ooh, what is that? And started screaming. Other customers had stepped up to defend my grandma, asking why they thought that she could smuggle something in a skirt, lol. My grandma just paid for her stuff and left like the boss that she is. Opie, that's the best story I've read all day. Period. Our next Reddit post is from Econ Guy 101.

I work in IT. Some people are surprised that I tended to shun cell phones for most of my career. I didn't get one until 2013. But a big part of the reason was that I knew that working in IT, if I had a cell phone, my employer would expect me to be on call basically 24-7 with no additional pay or anything.

There was, and still is, a social expectation that you answer your phone, or at least try to, no matter where you are or what you're doing. Out on a nice date? Too bad, boss is calling. Dinner with a spouse? Too bad, boss is calling. Driving your kids to some important medical thing?

Too bad, boss is calling. If you're ever not quick to answer calls or messages, it's always a talking to the next day in the office. It's always been this way for IT staff and it won't ever change. So early in my career, around 2005, I worked in a small business of around 50 people. I did help desk and network administration, working for an IT manager who had no real technical skills to speak of. But, this person was good with crystal reports, so they were the IT manager, and I was the flunky.

This person spent about 80% of their time micromanaging my time, and making sure that I had no more than 5 minutes of idle time each day. At one point, a person in another department who was working late had some trivial nonsense problem with Microsoft Excel that absolutely 100% could have waited until the next morning to resolve. But they were annoyed that the IT manager was beyond clueless to solve this issue at 7.45 pm and that the regular help desk guy. Me didn't have a cell phone that he could call for off-hour support, so he complained. He complained the next morning by storming into the IT office and berating us, the IT

manager and I, about how unacceptable the situation was, and then said to five page follow-up email CC to have the company about how intolerable it was that his dumb pivot table didn't get resolved in the late evening. So a couple of days later, I get pulled into a meeting with the IT manager and the HR lady, reading the room and felt like I was going to get fired or something, but it was far worse. They wanted me to get a cell phone. I politely declined, which they were prepared for as they told me the company would pay for

me to get a cell phone. I asked if I was going to get any kind of salary increase if I was actually going to be expected to answer the phone. And I was told there wasn't any money for the budget for that. This was a blatant lie. The CEO sent out quarterly earnings every quarter so I knew how much money we had. So I said that I'd take the company issued cell phone and I'd even answer it after hours without demanding more pay. On one condition. I get to pick the cell phone and I'd even answer it after hours without demanding more pay.

On one condition, I get to pick the cell phone and the carrier. They were delighted, agreed in writing, and were almost giddy as I got up and left the room. I found a Motorola Razor from a Japanese phone company that had the right kind of compatibility to work on the North American cell phone network. But it retained a Japanese phone number and had an international roaming plan. I went out of my way to find the worst possible plan.

And calling this phone would have incurred two-way international long distance calling. Plus, the permanent international roaming fees and all that. And based on that quick math, I think it would have cost them over $5 per minute in total to call me. A day or two after the meeting with my boss and the HR lady, I requested a follow-up

meeting and presented the phone and plan that I picked out. It was clear from their body language that they couldn't tell if I was kidding or not. The HR lady finally realized that I was did serious, and asked why I picked something so expensive. I said with complete honesty, I find it almost offensive that you want me to be theoretically on call for an unlimited amount of time outside the office, potentially disrupting literally everything I do outside of work hours, but you weren't willing to offer me even one penny in compensation.

Well, if someone wants to call me for support after hours, somebody somewhere is going to pay for that call, one way or another. They thanked me and said they'd get back to me about it later. The topic of me getting a company's cell phone was never brought up again. That was our Sashmalicious Compliance, and if you like this content, be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day. be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day.