rSlash - r/Maliciouscompliance I Almost Got Stabbed Working on Black Friday!

Episode Date: August 2, 2021

r/Maliciouscompliance In today's story, we've got a customer who's so angry that he won't even let OP walk to the front of the check-out line to open a register. The guy screams at OP to go to the back of the line even though OP works there. That thread turns into a conversation about the horrors of working retail during Black Friday, and how one person almost got stabbed over a $50 CD player. If you like this content, subscribe for more daily Reddit stories! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to R-slash, a podcast where I read the best post from across Reddit. Today's subreddit is R-slash malicious compliance, where an angry customer gets exactly what he asked for. Our next Reddit post is from Carodore. So I work at a small garden center, and we have a system where, if the line is getting too long, the person on the register calls on the radio to open another register. Basically, this allows staff to go to other things when there are enough customers to justify having two, three, or four-tills open. I'm sure you can guess where this is going already.

Over the last week or so, it's been absolutely baking by UK standards. And to top it all off, our register area is what used to be the main greenhouse before our psychotic expanded. So it's an old greenhouse with little airflow flow in scorching weather, so it was hot as balls in there. This was causing a combination of angry customers and exhausted staff. And to top it all off, our uniform is more what you'd call a guideline than an actual uniform. All we need is a navy polo, tokat boots, and you're good to go. So when I hear the call to open up a second register, there's already about three or four customers in the line. So I walk past the line with some candy, my water bottle, and go to the tills. That's when a six foot tall rugby player looking

guy at the back of the line puts his arm up to stop me. What follows when something like this? Oi mate, don't you know what a line is? But I'm, no buts, you do not get to skip. I'm just going, I do not care. You wait like the rest of us. At this point, with the guy getting pretty angry and turning a very deep shade of crimson, I look at the register with an exasperated look,

catch my colleagues eye and just say, fine then, and wait. It was too hot to argue over this and I wasn't going to risk this getting physical. My colleague with a knowing smile picks up a radio and says, can I have another till please? I don't think OP can make it. No one arrives, so we wait. It only took about five minutes to get to the front of the line, but the angry dude is getting rater by the second. So he walks up to the register with a loud, finally. I'm now at the front of the line, so I walk up to my register, log in and say, can I help anyone on this side?

There was a loud, are you messing with me? From the angry dude, but my colleague was quick to loudly point out that I did try to explain it to him several times. That he got very aggressive with me for doing so, and honestly he was lucky that we were serving him at all. He decided to just leave instead of embarrass himself any further. He left his purchases at the register and just left. I'm glad I didn't get in trouble for that one, but it was a fun bit of malicious compliance. And down in the comments, we have this toy from Brandy Aiden Love. A similar thing happened to me on Black Friday. Our store was set to open at 6am. Staff was scheduled to arrive by 5.30am, but by 5am, the line was insane! This was the year that Kureg became popular, and the store where I worked at a special where if you

bought 16 packs of cake cups, you get a free curic. The crowd absolutely would not let the staff through. Most of us were there by 515am. Here we all were, dressed in red and khakis, and not one customer had enough since to let us get to the doors. At 5.35am, the store manager came outside because he had no staff in the store. He was met by at least 200 people trying to push past him. He quickly ducked back in the store and called the cops for crowd control. We had to have a police escort just to get inside. The store opened on time, but barely. I had the largest single customer sale of the day at 8 a.m.

That customer had four carts and spent $12,000. I've refused to work on Black Friday ever since. You can fire me, but I will not work our shop on that day. And beneath that, we have this tweet from Flame is love. On my first Black Friday in retail, my coworker got our hand broken over at Tickle Me Elmo, and I nearly got stabbed for being out of stock of a $50 CD player. Our next reddit post is from Night Skater. I'm a 24 year old guy, and I hosted a friend from college, also a 24 year old guy who I haven't seen since before the pandemic.

Shortly after my friend arrived, we headed to a local bar and grill in our neighborhood. We decided to do the quick 15 minute walk instead of driving, so we don't have to worry about leaving the car. We were joined by my new roommate, a 25-year-old guy and also a good friend, and his new-ish girlfriend, who's 22. I don't know her that well, but I've always had friendly encounters with her when we hung out. At the bar, drinks flowed freely, and my friends seemed to really hit it off with our crew. We stayed longer than expected, and by the time we decided to walk home, it was fully dark and we were all pretty bust. It was still hot outside when we got to the apartment complex, so my roommate suggested

we hit the community pool. The pool and hot tub were technically closed for the night, but it's not too close to any of the units. And generally, no one cares as long as you're responsible, and you don't break glass bottles or anything like that. After debating whether to head back to our place to change first, my roommate insisted, we're all friends here, and that we could all just go to the pool in our underwear.

Everyone agreed to this, but my roommate's girlfriend said, you guys have fun with that. And she proceeded to just lounge next to the pool in one of the deck chairs and scroll Instagram. We stripped down and hop in the pool, and we're having a pretty good time just messing around. After some time had passed, my roommate was chatting with his girlfriend, and then quietly approached me afterwards. Apparently, his girlfriend was very uncomfortable with me wearing just briefs in the pool.

To be clear, my roommate and my friend were both wearing boxer briefs. She wanted me to go all the way back to the apartment and change into a swimsuit. I initially protested and said this was all his idea in the first place and how everyone else was in their underwear too. So what's the difference? It's not like my underwear was white and see-through or anything like that. My roommate asked me to go change for him as a favor so that it didn't turn into an issue between him and her. I was pissed, but I decided to let it go for the time being.

When I got back to the apartment, an idea popped into my head. I still had the swimsuit from when I used to swim in the club team in college. So I put on my speedo and hid it back out armed with another six pack for the boys and only a t-shirt, tower after on my waist and flip flops. I get back to the pool, announce I change into my swimsuit. As requested, drop the talon ditch to T-shirt and launch a twill wicked cannibal into the pool. I can see the rise smile on my roommates face, but nothing else was said about my choice of attire. We keep swimming in the pool, and a few minutes later, she announces that she is tired

and going to bed. The rest of us stayed out late, had more beers and laughs in the hot tub while the girlfriend was asleep at our place. Our next Reddit post is from J. Jorge of USA. Some context, I work for an outsourcing company. Before I was hired, there were two people doing my job, but both left before I joined. I was left alone doing the job of two people. Weekly reports were being sent to the client, and the client would visit the job site once a year. There was a general mailbox where the client should email all requests that needed to be addressed. However, that client would completely ignore that email address and would instead always email my email address, ignoring the general one. Since I was alone

doing the work of two people, I was almost always behind on the workload. And so other people at the company would complain to the client who in turn would complain to my managers. The client would complain, how was it possible that OP can't deal with seven or eight daily emails and still be behind on his work? Sure, I was only getting about seven or eight emails from that client today, but what about the phone, the other emails and Skype chat where people were always trying to contact me? So the client complained to my managers about me being a lazy idiot who can't even handle a handful of emails a day.

My manager set up a meeting to absolutely grill me. OP, you always look so busy and you're only getting a handful of emails a day and you're constantly behind on your work. How is that possible? The client isn't happy either, so you either improved dramatically or the client wants us to replace you. I explained that answering emails to the client wasn't the only thing that I did. I mentioned all the other work that I had to do as well.

So their solution was to write down every single thing that I did throughout the day. I asked for clarification. You mean emails and calls, right? No, no, everything. Then when you're done, email us the log at the end of the day. So, here goes my malicious compliance. I did exactly what I was told. I wrote down everything that I did during the work day,

including bathrooms, smoke, and coffee breaks. If the client wrote to me on Skype, I wrote down the timestamp of when the client asked for something and the timestamp of each and every reply. Then, after I had about 500 lines on my Excel sheet, I added my personal favorite to the end. Time wasted to fill in the sheet, one hour. My first manager laughed when he saw my malicious compliance. The other one, not so much, but he can't do anything because I was just doing what I was told. A few months

later, when the client visited me, he effing loved it as well. My managers told me to stop doing it after three days. They were now fully aware of all the work that I was doing. Down in the comments, we have this story from Stimple Garamond. A few years ago, a manager told me that my job was being transferred to his office a hundred miles away. I was getting a different job in my office, but first I had to train my replacement. Oh, and I had to do it in the next two months. I told my manager I was having an operation next week, so I would be out of work for six

to eight weeks. So my manager decided that I had to write a guide on what I did, which is inward chipping. I had to write about how I did it, what I did when things went wrong, and my favorite part, what to do if something happens that's never happened before. So in that spirit, chapter 1 of the guide was what to do in the event of a bear attack. Okay, this actually reminds me. Back when I was in, God, what was it? Sixth grade, fifth grade? I don't know. I had a teacher who gave us the assignment about natural disaster. So we were paired off into groups. And we all had to pick a different disaster,

like wildfires or floods or something like that. And we had to write a group report on what to do in the event of that disaster. My group got volcanoes. And like I was struggling absolutely struggling to find any information I could find about volcano safety because one, they're super, super rare. And two, a lot of volcano activity is like totally random people don't see it coming. Because like obviously if you know volcano is going to erupt you don't hang out next to it. I mean keep in mind I'm a millennial so the internet wasn't super accessible at that time. It's not like I could just pull out my phone and look up online about volcano safety. And even then this was years and years ago so how many websites were there available about volcano safety anyways?

That meant that honest to God, my one and only resource to write this project was our school library. So me, as a kid, goes to the school library and I'm like, hello, ma'am, do you have any books on volcano safety? And the librarian is like, no, of course not. Who writes books about volcano safety? So because I couldn't find any information, I basically had to just BS my way through the entire assignment.

I distinctly remember my teacher, Mr. Duncan, was his name, called me up to his desk, and he sat me down in front of me, and he pulled out my paper, and his legs crossed, he's looking very stern and serious, and he gives the paper kind of a disapproving once over and he looks at me with that unhappy disappointed father look that some male teachers have and he starts reading from my paper. A-Hum! Win-A-Balk-Hum!

Win-A-Balk-Hano erupts! There's not much to do. You're pretty much just dead because it's a volcano. In fact, if a volcano erupts in your town, you're pretty much dead, so this paper isn't really going to be helpful for you. Normally, this would be where I talk about the importance of setting up a will, but if your house is also next to a volcano, it's pretty much the story too, so you don't have to worry about that.

Everyone else in the class wrote like a multi-page paper, but mine was just one paragraph that said, eh, don't worry about it. If a volcano blows up in your town, you're pretty much dead. So after reading my one paragraph paper out loud to me, my teacher looks at me and says, Dadney, this is the paper that you're submitting. I was really a smartass when I was a kid so I just kind of shrugged and was like, am I wrong though? I got a name on that paper. Our next Reddit post is from Luther Williams. So I live in South Korea, but I work for a US company in South Korea.

Because I work for an American company, and I'm one of the few employees in my company who is actually American, my company doesn't issue me a letter that basically says that I'm employed in South Korea. This means that I have restrictions on my Korean bank accounts. I can only withdraw about $216 a day from an ATM, and if I go in person to a teller, I can only withdraw about $870 a day. Normally, this doesn't present a problem for me. I also can't have a debit or a credit card. Instead, I get a bank book, which is kind of like an

electronic checkbook that's a physical thing that you carry around. However, eventually this did create a problem. I signed a lease for a new apartment and the deposit was $8,700. Yes, this is normal for South Korea. So I transferred the money from my American bank to my Korean bank. Then I went to the bank in person to transfer the money to my landlord. I get there and the teller tells me that I can only transfer $870 a day. My first idea was to ask my landlord if she'd be cool with me transferring her $870 a day

for 10 days, but she did not like that idea. So I'm sitting there arguing when the bank manager comes out. He's a nice enough guy and speaks good English. Basically he says that because of the type of account I have, there's no way that I can transfer more than $870 a day. However, I really need this money, and I start thinking. And then a light bulb goes off in my head. I ask him, if I close my account, do I get my money?

The manager says, yes, we would give you cash. And if I close my account, I can open a new one? Of course. Is there a waiting period after closing my account to open a new one? No. Fantastic. Please close my account. Sure, I'll need your bank book and we'll destroy it. I hand them my bank book and they destroy it.

I sign some papers and close the account. The bank manager closes my account and it gives me all of my money in an envelope. Is there anything else I can help you with today? I smile and pull out my passport. Yes, I'd like to open a new bank account. My bank manager looks at me and it dawns on him what I just did. He laughs, shakes his head and goes, sure, not a problem. I opened a new account, deposited a few bucks, and left with my deposit

in my pocket. That was our slash malicious compliance, and if you like this content, you can support me and unlock extra episodes by signing up for sponsorships. Click the anchor.fm link in the description, and you can get access to episodes that I couldn't publish to YouTube because they were too spicy for monetization. because they were too spicy for monetization.