rSlash - r/Maliciouscompliance I Gave a Bus Groper a Bloody Nose

Episode Date: March 24, 2022

r/Maliciouscompliance In today's episode, OP is a young woman who uses public transportation. A creepy guy sits next to her, pinning her between himself and the window. When it's time for her to get off the bus, the creepy guy refuses to move and tells OP to squeeze past him. OP decides to maliciously comply and squeezes past him -- while slamming her backpack into his face, giving him a bloody nose! Careful what you wish for! Get $90 off and a free gift at Sunbasket! Go to sunbasket.com/rslash - Enter the promocode "rslash" at checkout. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to our slash malicious compliance, where a pervert gets smacked in the face. Today's episode is sponsored by Sunbasket. Because of COVID, I literally haven't gone to the grocery store in like two years. Obviously because I don't want COVID to kill me, but also because I do voice work. So I don't think my fans would really enjoy my content if I catch COVID and I have to record episodes like, Welcome to our slash pro revenge. That's why I love love love services like Sunbasket. Sunbasket is a meal delivery service that delivers healthy meal straight to your door.

They offer organic produce, sustainable seafoods and meats, and best of all, it's honestly really tasty. The other thing I like about it is that they don't only send you meals to cook. Like, yeah, you'll have ingredient and instructions for how to cook a healthy meal, but they also give you snacks, and who doesn't like snacks? Look, I'm just going to read the names of some of these dishes so you can get an idea of what we're talking about. Pan-seared salmon tikka masala over rainbow quinoa. Honey balsamic glaze chicken with warm cabbage apple salad,

chipotle barbecue tofu salad with black beans and honey mustard vinaigrette. Right now, Sun Basket is offering $90 off and a free gift when you order. Go to sunbasket.com. Slash, R-slash, and enter the promo code R-slash at checkout. Our next reddit post is from Mr. Boatize. A few years ago I worked at a physical media chain in New England. My location was new, so when I was hired I was interviewed by the district manager and a hire up because the manager hadn't been hired yet. When I applied, I applied for a very small window of availability, but I was also willing to close our work later shifts our work weekends, so they agreed.

And even though it was a set schedule, I did come in multiple times to cover someone else. The manager they hired was an absolute control freak. It didn't start too bad, but it got ridiculous. She hated the fact that I had a set schedule. Not because I was needed for other time slots. In fact, I was working the least desirable shifts. It was just because she didn't control it. She even said that to me. After about a year and a half of working there and her dropping hands that, we might need

to renegotiate your schedule. For no actual reason, she scheduled me to come in four hours earlier on the day before my weekend just to shake things up. I brought it up to her, and she essentially told me to just deal with it. I was mad, but I did just that. My wife and I planned a date night when I would have normally been working. On the day in question, I got a call saying the person who was closing that night instead of me. She'd swap me with a less reliable employee, head called and sick, and I needed to come in

on my normally scheduled time. I was so happy to tell them that I'm sorry, but I can't change on such short notice because I made plans. The assistant manager, who was just as giddy as the manager was to tell me about the shake-up, had to do a split shift and cancel a tender date because I did as I was told and made plans instead of being upset about it. Down in the comments, I'm going to read this post from Duncan here. I can relate. I was a full-time employee at a job and the manager would cut my hours and would put all the employee's name on the schedule in order of who he liked best to

worst. One of the last times that he messed with the schedule was when he dropped me from 5 days a week down to 2. When I complained to him, he gave me a Sucks to be you answer. He scheduled very unreliable people to work 5 days a week for the next 3 weeks. All the people he scheduled just flaked on him. One even quit. One wasn't even available to work the hours he scheduled, but he didn't even check. I guess he was just too excited to take my hours and

demote me to the bottom of the schedule. He then texted me that I'm now back on the schedule at five days this week. I shot back at text telling him that I was not available because I took hours at my part-time job when he cut my hours. He was pissed, lol. Felt great! Our next red-appost is from Nakae Ryan. This happened to my friend a couple of months ago. Him and his wife just moved into their first house about 6 months ago. Then, a strong windstorm came through and damaged their fence. And by damage their fence, I mean the fence was now leaning slightly, like 70 degrees.

Since home insurance won't fix the fence, plus with it being winter and all, my friend and his wife are going to wait until spring to hire someone to fix and replace their fence. Well, their backyard neighbor did not like that. The neighbor one of that fence fixed ASAP. When the neighbor found out they were going to wait until spring, the neighbor called the city and complained that their fence was out of code. When the city inspector came out to inspect their fence, it was in fact out of code and it needed to be corrected. Now the reason the neighbor was so fixated on the fence being replaced is because the neighbor has a pool in their yard and they need to have a fence around their pool for

safety. Well, my friend and his wife, now pissed off at their neighbor, decided to only remove the fence and just not replace it. This allows them to meet city code, and now, when spring hits, the neighbor is going to have to build his own fence. If the neighbor would have just been nice and not called the city like some kind of Karen, my friend would have built the fence up in the spring, no problem. OP, why wait until spring?

I really think that you should give the city a call and let them know that your neighbor isn't up to code with his pool. After all, safety first, right? Our next reddit post is from the United States of labia. My ex-employer would send me out on errands all the time, to the point where my lunchtime was over by the time I got back to the office. Many times I would usually skip out on lunch, because personally I don't have much of an appetite. One day I had to go submit some of the company documents somewhere, and we were understaffed.

So we agreed it's best I go during lunchtime. I submitted the documents and I grabbed some lunch from a takeaway place. I didn't actually eat the lunch, I simply got to take out bag and went back to work immediately. I arrived back to work with only 5 minutes to spare, and I was particularly hungry that day. I tried to eat as fast as possible, and my boss was just talking to me the whole time, so I can't chew and speak at the same time. At exactly 3.01pm, she tells me. The lunch hour is for you to get your lunch AND eat it. If you can't finish your food on time, then don't eat it during work hours.

Also, please refrain from eating in the work area. To be clear, I was eating by the microwave because we don't have a designated lunch area. Also, the store was completely empty, and I really could have used 10 minutes to eat my meal. Finally, I didn't have time to eat because I was running her errands. Cue malicious compliance. One day it was lunchtime and I was feeling particularly hungry, so I'm standing by the cash register. My boss rushes in, exclaiming that she has a lot to do, and we need to help her get the stock out of her car as fast as possible so she can go to her next meeting. Will somebody please help me?

No one responded. O.P. You'll help me get the stock out of my car, right? I would, but lunchtime is for eating. I took a piece of gum and a bottle of water and stood in the parking lot for the whole hour. I just stood there watching her struggle with stock and looking flustered. Not my problem. Our next reddit posted from Voldenough.

This is my tiny malicious compliance story, which happened in my first year at university about 8 years ago. I was a 20 year old woman at the time, and the bus that I had to take to university was the most popular route in town, meaning that it was always packed. Because I got on at the first stop, I always had a window seat, which meant that someone was usually sitting next to me when I had to get off, and I had to do that awkward thing of lifting my backpack and straightening up in an exaggerated fashion to show them that I had to stand to let me pass. No problem usually, just a bit awkward for socially awkward me.

One morning, a guy in his 40s sat next to me and promptly man spread it across my seat, pushing his leg right up to mine. I thought it was weird, but hey, maybe this guy had a painfully swollen scrotum or no self-awareness. Or both. Anyway, I was giving him the benefit of the doubt, and since he was focused on his phone and ignored me, I did the same for the rest of the journey. Then when we were getting close to my stop, I started the awkward, I have to get off, so let me pass show.

No reaction. So I stood up from my seat. Still no reaction. show. No reaction. So I stood up from my seat. Still no reaction. Sir? No reaction. I tapped his shoulder. Sir, I need to get off. Can you let me pass?

The guy looked up at me, and with the widest, most disgusting grin said, Well, sweetie, looks like you're going to have to squeeze past me. No problem for such a skinny girl, right? Some of the passengers standing around us noticed, and they were about to intervene. But I was pissed because at that point I had missed my stop, and I wasn't sure if he was a pervert or just like to piss on people's days. But I did not want him to win. Also, no one ever called me skinny. I have what one could call childbearing hips, thank you very much. So I smiled at him and said, okay, heavy your way. My backpack was filled with half a dozen library books that

I was going to return that day, and it was bulky and heavy AF. Usually, I would have put it on after leaving the crowded bus, but not that day. I shouldered my backpack so that it was hanging at the right height, and clumsily, forcefully, and just in case he was indeed a pervert, in no way sexily squeezed past this guy, dragging my huge backpack across his face. If I leaned back to make sure to really smash his nose? Well, that surely was an intentional, and if he emitted any pain-fueled protests, well, they must have been muffled by my backpack. As I was standing by the door waiting for the next stop, I looked back to see him covering his nose with his hand. It looked like he was checking to see if his nose was bleeding,

but I don't think it was. He might have had a scratch or two for my backpack, but he wasn't injured or anything. His pride was, though. He kept glaring at me for the glorious half minute it took for the bus to reach the next stop. I was in such a good mood that I didn't even mind walking back to where I was supposed to get off. Well, Opie, maybe this guy does have a swollen scrotum to go along with him being a massive dick. Our next reddit posted from Betamax theory. My local council received funding to build a segregated cycle route along a road that had seen several cycling fatalities. It was a huge improvement.

However, it's become a lot more dangerous recently because it has at least 50 street lights out along its length. There's a lot of shops, parked cars, pedestrians, bus stops, and vehicles along this road, so you need to be ready to break at all times. Late one night, a woman dressed in black in one of these unlit areas walked out in front of me. I managed to evader, but I fell off my bike onto the main road in the process. Everyone was okay, but enough was enough. I tried to report the overall issue to the council, but they said they would need the precise location

plotted on a digital map via their clunky website and the street light number of every light to report to their subcontractor. The road runs through an area known for muggings, and even cyclists can get knocked off their bikes so people can steal their bikes. So I do not want to stop at each individual light with my phone out or even a notebook. So since the start of 2022, each trip I've tried to remember one or two lights that are failed with a precise location and numbers. Then I report them when I get home. I'd reached 13 individual reports so far this year when a man from the council finally called me yesterday. We discussed the situation, and when he heard that I wasn't even halfway done, he asked me to please give him 4 weeks grace period before sending out more reports. And they promised to check and fix every light along

the cycle route. Down in the comments we have this story from Snew Words. I see that you're in the UK. I'm in the US, and we had a problem where all the street lights on our entire street were out. We tried to report it, and they said that we needed the numbers. That's fine, but we can't see them in the dark. We have a local fireman who lives on our street. We knocked on his door, he called the firehouse, and they called the electric company. Turns out the problem was a circuit, not the bulbs, which they should have been able to tell without the numbers. The trucks were out to fix it within 25 minutes of the fire department calling, since it ran

a risk of them not being able to read addresses. Our next reddit post is from FoolsArent. I have about 20 can lights in my house and they're all incandescent. About 5 years ago, Home Depot had a sale on Cree, LED bulbs. As dumb luck would have it, I was on their website at work and saw the deal. I figured it was time to modernize and save some money on my electric bill. Okay, I'll swing by on my way home. I didn't order them online, but the website said the store had them in stock.

I printed out the sale price in the SKU from the web. I went to the store, loaded up my card, and went to check out. The light bulbs rang up at the wrong price. I showed them the online advertisement, and they said no dice. I said, but you match prices. This is a Home Depot store and this is from a Home Depot website. The manager said, sorry, but the online store is different from the brick and mortar store. We don't match online prices. Okay, fine. So I put the light bulbs back on the shelf. I went to the contractor desk and hopped on their computer. I went to their website and made an online purchase. I have the worker at the desk print out my receipts.

I head out to the car and hang out for about 30 minutes. Then I come back in to pick up my light bulbs. The manager comes over and I show him the receipt for the pickup of the bulbs. Where's the car that you had them in? Oh, I put them back on the shelves since you weren't going to sell them to me. So then he has to get someone to go get the bulbs off the shelf for me. He says, you know, you could have just left them in the cart. And you could have honored the price when I first got here. It's not much, but it made me happy. Our next reddit post is from How Many Apples. When I was 14, I was qualified fully in my

country in a piano playing performance qualification. I'd worked really hard for this, and I was so proud, my parents too. I was too young to join paid orchestras, and they didn't exist near me anyways, so instead I handed out business cards to residents nearby in a fairly wealthy area. And I thought that I could make some money teaching after school. Teachers in the area were charging 20 euros for half an hour, so I charged 17 euros because of my age. I got very lucky that a few moms caught on and they switched to using me instead.

I quickly had four to five clients to teach every single weeknight in an area that I could bike around. This was roughly 400 euros every single week due to fluctuations of people cancelling and so on. An hour's lesson was 50 minutes with a short water break and explanation of homework at the end. A half hour lesson was 25 minutes with an explanation of homework at the end. I made all this very clear, and over time I learned that it was necessary to walk people carefully through homework and exam prep. These parents paid 10 lessons in advance every time, and I kept a calendar and updated parents weekly on where they were at.

One parent would always ask for a full summary of all 10 weeks for all three of her kids, and I was happy to provide it. Suddenly, one week, she decided that she didn't owe me money for the next 10 lessons until I'd made up for lost time. I was obviously very confused and asked her what she meant. She said the reason was that I had been cutting off 5 minutes of every 30 minute lesson and 10 minutes off every 1 hour lessons so I should teach at extra time before getting more money.

Here's the real kicker. Her kids were horribly behaved. They were easily the most spoiled and entitled kids that I taught, and they often said things like, since we pay you, don't you work for me? They were between the ages of like 6 and 11. This entitled mom had also referred me to a lot of other parents, so I was concerned about my job. Since her kids behave so badly and didn't do homework, I always spent extra time on them, like 5 to 10 minutes per week because they needed it. But okay, sure, you want me to work that time? No problem.

So I told this mother that, from now on, I would set a timer and charge every minute on that timer and show her when I clicked it on and off and gave a huge apology. You can imagine her shock at the end of the 10 weeks when she saw that her kids combined 30 hours was actually more like 36 to 37 that she had to pay. She never bothered me about timing ever again and rushed me through homework to get me out the door. That was our slash malicious compliance and if you liked this content be sure to follow my podcast because I put out

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