rSlash - r/Maliciouscompliance I Gave My Sergeant EXACTLY What He Asked For!

Episode Date: December 19, 2021

r/Maliciouscompliance In today's episode, OP's job in the military is to guard the dorm room. He's expressly forbidden from letting anybody into the dorm room unless they have a key or a password. Well, a minor mix-up causes an angry sergeant to come storming down to the dorm, demanding to be let in. The sergeant orders OP to let him in, but OP maliciously complies and refuses, which of course just makes the sergeant angrier. Things quickly get tense, and the story has an amazing conclusion! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Where can a vehicle from Mazda's electrified line up take you? From powering up. To winding down. Electrify every moment with the 2024 Mazda CX90 plug-in hybrid. Learn more at Mazda.ca Welcome to R-slash malicious compliance, where OP stands up to a very, very angry drill sergeant. Our next reddit post is from Cron.

Gather around as I tell you the story of the time that I got fired from the worst place that I've ever worked at. From day one, it was a nightmare. There was zero onboarding our training. I was simply given the login info for a couple of different websites and told to get to work, our company planned large conferences, and I was in charge of speaker coordination. I was the only person in this role. This information solely resided with me. Not a big deal I say to myself. I'm good at thinking on my feet. I'll just ask questions when I need clarification on something.

That turned out to be impossible because my manager's first language was in English. I am all for learning new languages. I think it's a great skill to have, and it takes a lot of work, and being able to speak multiple languages is impressive. The problem was that her English was so poor that it was often very hard to understand what she was trying to say. I once asked if she had time to hop on a call and explain something to me, and she responded with,

No OP, self-skills is a must, I am bird without head. It took me a few days to figure out that what she was trying to say was that things were hectic, that she was running around like a chicken with its head cut off and she needed me to be self-sufficient. Regardless, I did my best in the position. Small mistakes happened here and there, but overall all the speakers were very happy and felt well supported. I struggled in communicating with my manager, but I thought the company was happy with my work. Until four months in when I was randomly pulled into

a meeting with my manager, HR, and legal. Effective immediately, I was fired. I asked why I was being fired and why this was the first time I'd heard of any problems. Why wasn't there a write-up or a verbal warning?" My manager said that it was because the 10 minutes it takes me to respond to email was too slow. And to be clear, I responded slowly because I was running the analytics. That was a BS reason and we all knew it. If you don't like me personally, fine, but don't try to make this seem like I was a bad employee. To be honest, I was furious. We do the exit interview

with HR, and then my manager asked me to send over any documents I had and describe where I was in regards to our next event and our speakers. Non-disclosure agreements are really common in this field. I've signed one at every job I've ever worked, but this employer's NDA had a clause in it that worked to my advantage. I said, as per my NDA, I'm not to discuss intimate details or share documents relating to this position with any employer, past or future. Since his firing was effective immediately, you are now a former employer, and I'm bound to my NDA. HR hemmed in hot a little bit, telling me that, of course I could speak to them about it,

after all, this was about their event. I pulled out a copy of my NDA and pointed out the exact clause, and said that it clearly stated that if I violated this NDA, I would be sued, so no, I couldn't talk to them about the position. HR turned illegal, and legal pointed out that I was technically correct. They were now a former employer, and I was bound to my NDA. They fired me 17 days before the event. They did not have time to start over from scratch. I still keep in contact with some of my co-workers, and apparently the event was a shit show and the manager nearly lost her job because of it.

Over half the speakers pulled out once the communication broke down. All because I take too long to respond to emails. Yes, so like, in the A.S. side, if I got fired and they said, oh, by the way, could you do me a favor? I'd be like, no, how about instead you go fuck yourself. Our next way to Poussis from Ascily. Years ago, I was working for a university as a secretary for a rather large department. I was told by the chair to call everyone by their first name, rather than the formal doctor so and so. I complied and life went on with me using informal names and them doing the same for me.

However, about a year later, I called to Dr. So-and-So-and-the-nex room to ask a question. It was benign enough, and I was still respectful when I used his first name. Not long after, I received an email. He addressed it to my first name, let's say Beth, and said that I needed to call him Dr. So-and-So-and-So-and-not-use his first name. I knew that this was his way to establish his superiority over me, but I would not have it. I may have been the secretary, but I was still a human being who deserve respect too. Here's where the malicious compliance came into play. I wrote him an email back addressing

him as Dr. So-and-so. I agreed to call him by his formal name, but I insisted that he do the same to me. I'm no longer Beth, but instead Mrs. Doe. I copied the department chair and executive aid so everyone was in the loop. He went to the chair to complain, but she sided with me, and so it began. From then on out, it was Doctor So-and-Soe on every correspondence and when I spoke to him. If he addressed me as Beth, I would remind him that I wanted to be addressed as Mrs. Doe, and I wouldn't answer him until he addressed me as such. This really got on his nerves. He didn't want to be the only one to call me by my formal name because it missed with his need for superiority over a peon. It only took less than a week before he wrote to me again.

This time he said, please call me Paul instead of doctor so and so. No apology to me, just a resounding white flag surrender. I took it as a small win for the peons and proceeded to call him Paul. I worked in that department for eight years and we never had another problem like this. Our next reddit post is from Pleasure Boats. Our rental contract, as is normal here, stipulates a quiet period between 10 pm and 7 am every night where we're not supposed to be loud. We moved in on Saturday, and we're of course unpacking on Sunday. So our new neighbor below us knocked on our door and screamed at us around midday and

told us to read the part of our contract about the quiet period. So I did and Sundays aren't mentioned. The quiet period is 10pm to 7am every day of the week. Nowhere does it state that Sundays are any difference, so we carried on. He called the cops on us several times for just doing normal things such as rearranging furniture. Each time he would light up the cops that he had come to speak to us about it first, which he hadn't. Reasons included things like dropping things too often are using the stairs at night. These reasons are, of course, ridiculous, but each time I just showed the cops the contract that we all signed. If he also signed this contract, then he consents to be making noise during these periods. We complain from the letting agency that he was harassing us for simply making the normal amount of noise that people make from living in an apartment. However, nothing changed. I checked with our other neighbors

to see if they had any complaints about our noise level, and they all said no. After he called the cops several times, I decided to begin malicious compliance. I went down to the neighbor with a copy of the house rules, which we all signed and told him to please read them, specifically the exact time which are the quiet period. Then for the next week or so, any hammering, drilling, or other loud things I had to do, I saved for 9.50 pm. Even if I didn't have anything I needed to do, I made sure to make noise right up until 10 pm.

After I did this for about a week, we stopped hearing from him, and I haven't had any noise complaints since, and it's been several months now. Now, a couple of heavy metal fans have moved into the apartment next to him, and I couldn't be happier. Your business has grown fast. From opening your first location to planning an expansion in no time. And with your business platinum card from American Express, you can access spending power and payment flexibility to fuel your growth. Sarah, the contractor is here with the plans.

American Express, don't do business without it. Terms and conditions apply as at m MX.ca slash business platinum. Hair care meets high fashion. A Vedas holiday collaboration with Couture Fashion Designer Iris Von Herpen is now available for you. A gift collection inspired by our planet. Every gift is a celebration of artistry and nature, featuring high performance, 100% vegan, hair, body, and self-care gift sets. Discover Gives of Luxury at evata.com Our next reddit post is from G Breaker Mills. So my dad used to own his own company that unfortunately went under and vanished due to

the UK recession of the mid to late 2000s. He was a joiner and knows the trade inside and out. He has a few stories and one of them fits here. So my dad and his team had a contract to do some work on someone's kitchen. A very simple job for my dad. But there was an antagonist, the neighbor who will call Karen. So it was 10am and Karen opens her window and shouts to my dad. I'm back from the night shift and I have another one tonight. You need to keep it down. My dad replies, I do apologize, but we're currently within trading hours and I have a job to do. Karen just scoffs and walks away. Roughly 20 minutes later, Karen comes back.

I told you to keep it down. I have the night shift. My dad reiterates. As I've already stated, it's in trading hours and I have a job to do. Karen comes out of her house and walks up to my dad. I went your boss's phone number. Now bear in mind, this was my dad's company. As in, he owned it. He's the boss. But instead of playing the, I am the boss card, he complied and gave Karen his business card with his work-mobile number on it. My dad thought she was bluffing, and he then got a call less than 10 minutes later and he answered.

It was Karen. I would like to make a complaint. You have workers here and they're making too much noise, and I had the night shift tonight, so I need some sleep. Also, one of them was extremely rude to me and he needs to be dealt with. My dad replied, as I've told you twice already through your window, it's trading hours. We have a job to do and furthermore, your night shift is of no concern to me or my team. Karen just swore at my dad and hung up, and my dad was able to finish the work that he was given. Karen told me he was expecting Karen to come out and punch him in the face, but that never happens. Our next Reddit post is from UserChooserName. Many years ago,

I had succumbed to a patriotic fever and enlisted in the Air National Guard. As such, I went to basic training. Yes, it's the same basic training that the real Air Force goes to. Anyway, one of the first bits of that the real Air Force goes to. Anyway, one of the first bits of training they try to hammer into your skull is the importance of the dorm guard. The dorm guard is responsible for controlling who is access to the dormitories, reporting headcount to nightwatch, and making sure nobody is up to no good or starting fires. It is a very easy job, but trainees regularly screw it up because they can't think straight in the military training environments.

If somebody knocks on the door, the dorm guard has to verify their ID against a list on the back of the door. No ID, no entry. If the ID is presented, but there's no matching name on the list, then no entry. There are only two exceptions. One is if the person requesting entry has a key and uses the key in the lock. Second, the person requesting entry can use a known code word, but this will only happen in an actual emergency and isn't part of the training experience. To quote my military training leader, if Osama bin Laden shows up to the door armed with an RPG and rapted

to tow in dynamite and he gives you the code word, let the f**k in and stay out of his way. Everyone has to do dorm guard duty and he gives you the code word, let the f***ing in and stay out of his way. Everyone has to do dorm guard duty and you should expect to be tested. They'll yell and threaten, try to trick you, intimidate you, and beat on the door mercilessly, but the protocol is gospel. Break from the rules

and you'll find yourself writing letters to the families of your fellow trainees, explaining that they were killed because you couldn't remember how to guard a freaking door. Looking at you, trainee, oh I see you have a key, let me open the door for you. Basic training is a head game. They aren't allowed to physically touch you, so you're never in any actual danger. All danger is simulated by big bald sergeants yelling at you.

I had the advantage of being almost 10 years older than the average trainee. I've been yelled at before, it doesn't bother me. It's the middle of the night and I'm on dorm duty. I do a head count. 51 people are present, but 50 people are assigned. This means that either I miscounted or someone is here who isn't assigned to be here. Not to mention that whoever did the count before me has been screwing it up. I do another count. 51 hits. I call to the military training leader on duty. Not our regular military training leader via the loud squawk box intercom on the wall, which everyone in the dorm can hear. Sir, trainee OP reports as ordered. Blah blah blah other stuff I had to report. Headcount 50 assigned 51 accounted for.

What was that headcount again? Sir 50 assigned 51 accounted for. Wrong! Count them again. Now I've already checked and double checked and I've already assumed this was a paperwork error and not my error. But they want me to follow orders and procedures so that's what I'll do. I recount in reports.

Sir 50 assigned 51 accounted for. So help me, trainee. If I have to come up there because you can't count, I will choke you to death. Choke you to death with your reflective belt and bury you in a parade ground with a flagpole up your ass. Now get everyone up. Sound off one by one so I can fucking hear it. By now, almost everyone is awake anyway, so everyone begins to sound off.

I start counting. One, sir. Two, sir. Three, sir. 49, sir. 50, sir. Cut to the last guy, shaking his head because he's scared of what he knows is coming next. 51, sir. God damn it! One of you useless fucks is gonna die tonight! I am fucking coming up there! The door... I'm laughing because I already know what's coming. You know what's coming, right?

It should be obvious. But oh my god, okay. The dorm is about a two-minute walk from CQ. He was there in about nine seconds banging on the door. But yep, I was right. But being as mad as he was, he stormed over without his key, his ID, and had apparently forgotten the fact that there was a single word that would open the door instantly. He was just focused on fixing whatever had jacked up my head counts. He bangs on the door. Open up! Sir, may I see your authority to enter? I just got off the

comments you let me the fuck in. Sir, without valid ID, I'm forced to refer you to CQ for authorization. Are you fucking shitting me? I am the CQ! Cut your shit and open the fucking door! Sir, without valid ID, I can't allow you access to the dorm. Please contact CQ for authorization. By now, the other trainees are nervous, but some are telling me to open the door while others are insisting I keep it shut. Perhaps indefinitely, because the sergeant sounds like

he might actually end someone's life tonight. I stick to the program and we go back and forth a few more times like this. I've honestly never had anyone this angry with me in my life, but all of my replies are literally written on the back of the door, so I keep reading them to him, which only makes him matter and matter each time. By now, it's been 20 minutes since first count, and he's used up every thread and insult at his disposal, and he's forced to stop and think. He remembers the code word.

Code word! I open the code word. Code word! I open the door, me. I open the door immediately. He bolts past me with only the slightest pause for some direct eye contact, which sent the message that he would be back shortly to harvest my flesh for a new suit that he was going to make. And he begins count. 51. Who of you is not supposed to be here?

Silence. Then, from the last bunk we hear... Um, sir? It's a guy that we don't recognize. All of our counting thus far took place in the dark. Until the sergeant was in the room and he turned the lights on, we had no idea. It turns out this kid had graduated the day before, but he needed to be warehouse for a few weeks while he waited for his next training assignment to begin. He was supposed to be there, but since he wasn't on our roster,

he wasn't included in the headcount. Promises of extreme punishment were made, and we were told that this was not over, and that the morning would be terrible for all of us, especially me. At 0530 hours, I was called on the carpet to explain why I refused to allow the sergeant to perform his duties. I stated plainly and simply that there were protocols and procedures in place for me to follow. I had been told never to deviate and that I would be tested. I had performed the duties to the best of my abilities.

They could find no fault with this, and I was never punished. The sergeant who had yelled at me through the door later quietly congratulated me for sticking to the protocol. Ultimately, it reflected well on both of us. That was our Slash Milicious Compliance, and if you liked this content, be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day.