rSlash - r/Maliciouscompliance I Ruined My Lazy Boss's Life

Episode Date: June 14, 2023

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Okay, Max, we have a new spot for Sunwing vacations. Okay, Sunwing Cyber Monday deals up to 40% off. Hang on, I think we got the wrong script. Yeah, it's 40% off, what's the issue? 40% off Cyber Monday vacation deals? Yes, why do you keep repeating me? 40% off? Huh, just think about what you could do with all those savings. I know, in fact it's in the script. When you save more, you can do more.

For daily door crashing deals, visit your local travel agent, or... Welcome to our Slash Milicious Compliance, where OP gets his lazy boss in huge trouble. Our next reddit poster from nefariouselo. I'm a corporate professional in middle management. My boss is a senior manager, and he is horrible at his job. The Peter Principle totally applies. He received his annual goals from up the ladder and naturally he added those things to my list of responsibilities. He would receive a hefty bonus for completing them. I would receive nothing. He would take all the credit and tell me I was lucky to have him as a mentor. He had this big shot personality. He was a smooth talker who acted like a celebrity and

he was just too important to be bothered by the people lower on the totem pole. He only wanted to interact with people that he could brag about and beyond puckering to kiss their behinds, he spent most of this time at work perusing dating apps. We were a very end-to-man group within the company, and we had a revolving door of people coming to our area daily to get help from us. Non-management employees weren't allowed to have cell phones, and they didn't have access to email, so physically stopping by was their only option. My boss got furious whenever I wasn't in my office to catch all the traffic. However, me completing his goals for him required me to be out of my office. He demanded that I stay in my

office for my full shift every single day. He accused me of leaving their property and stealing company time because if you're not in your office, how could I even know that you're working? So, I complied and stayed in my office. When his annual review came up, he lost his bonus. And since he didn't meet a single goal for the entire year, he fell under intense scrutiny. The investigation uncovered that he was using company funds and resources to take these dating app encounters to expensive places, and he was expensing these dates as work-related. He asked the contractor a friend of his to just do the work and find a way to add the money to the company bill.

He was promptly fired. Man, getting fired is a good start here, but it sounds like he should go to prison. What this guy did was clearly embezzlement. Our next reddit posted from Faulty Carbon. Years ago, I was a cook at a well-known, fast-casual restaurant known for their large burritos and charging extra for guacamole. I worked hard because the place was very understaffed given the number of customers that came in. Management was understanding when we had to cut corners to make sure people didn't wait for their food. One of the rules we had to follow before cooking the rice was to rinse the raw rice three times

until the water runs clear. Vague, I know. How clear is clear? What if after three rinses the water is not clear? Is it three times and runs clear or three times or runs clear? Who knows? I didn't ask. Most of the time we would give the rice one or two rinses

before throwing it into the cooker. Never had any problems with customers complaining about it and we never ran out of rice. Since there were never any problems, management didn't care and everyone was happy. That is until one day, Ms. Manager decided it's time to enforce every single rule exactly. I'm not sure why. To get to the position she was in, she knew how to do all the individual tasks in the kitchen,

so she knew the rules. However, she did not know how to conduct the symphony of the dozen of simultaneous tasks at the speed and accuracy required to keep customers moving and to never burn anything. I did. She didn't know which corners were okay to cut, and which corners were not okay to cut. But I did. As I was getting ready for the busy shift, but the kitchen wasn't in busy mode yet,

I'm rinsing rice, and mismanager approaches me. Make sure to rinse the rice until the water runs clear. I look at her and respond, I always do. She knew that I was lying, but she also knew why I was lying. She knew that it would take longer to make the rice, but I was also the only one who could make sure that rice never runs out. Her life would be hell if we ran out of rice. She had a chance to let it go, but she didn't.

OP, I know that you don't follow that rule. Keep rinsing the rice until the water runs clear, and before you put the rice in the cooker, come find me and show me that it runs clear. I looked at her with a straight face and replied, keep rinsing the rice until the water runs clear. Got it. I began. I filled the pot of rice with water, agitate the rice, pull out the perforated part of the pot, and dump out all the cloudy water. After three rinses, the water still resembles skim milk. I look up. She's watching me. She asks, does that water look clear to you? It was rhetorical. I see how it is. I start rinsing again and satisfied she walks away.

A while goes by and yes, I'm counting the number of rinses. The long grains of rice are breaking apart and the entire pot is turning into a strange mushy mixture of white rice. Given all the time that I'm wasting on this dumb task, everything else that needs to get started in the kitchen is falling behind. Finally, mismanage your appears in the kitchen again. You're still rinsing rice? The timing was perfect.

I dump out the water in front of her and ask, does that water look clear to you? Has I dump out the precursor to slightly water down Harchada, she softly says? No. I step away from the sink. I ask her, how many times do you think I've rinsed this rice? Seven? She answers. No, try 37. I was not joking. I told her, I've rinsed this rice 37 times, and the water is still not running clear to your satisfaction. Should I continue? She looks at the rice, knows that it's unusable, and that she lost the fight. On the one hand, she can't tell me to keep going because the ground up rice was only a few rinses and a cook away from becoming grits. On the other hand, she can't tell me to stop rinsing because then she would be in violation of the

sacred rice rinsing commandment. Additionally, she can't fire me. Otherwise, the store couldn't open. She scheduled me to work the entire day, and she sure knows that she couldn't do what I can do in the kitchen. Fine, she relents. Just get back in there and make sure we're ready when it's time to open. I laughed to myself as I went back to work.

I won. Our next reddit post is from Weird Stories here. So I was working on a short-term job project off-site. Coming from one of the cheapest to live in countries in Europe and staying for months in Singapore, I had found some places that I could be eating for pretty cheap, and the food was good and within my tastes. Our company was giving us about $60 per day for food expenses,

but I was spending somewhere around $25 about $60 per day for food expenses, but I was spending somewhere around $25-$30 a day with the highest ever being just under $50. Our short project ran long, and our customers' client raised a ton of issues. I discussed these problems a few times with my manager, and he told me to take the client out for dinner and some drinks. My manager told me that he would cover the extra expense, just to be careful not to go too much overboard on the expense. I specifically asked him what that means, and he told me to try to not go over 200-250

bucks. I take the client out, and neither me nor the client really drink much, so we end up just having some food and one drink each. This is the place that I always go to eat, so the guys at the restaurant know me pretty well at that point. They always do some rounding on the bill or bring me some extra finger food on the house, but this time the bill came out to $60.68. So yeah, my portion of the bill ended up being $68 over my $60 daily limit, but still way below the $200 allowance for that night. At the end of the month, I submit my report, and I add a special note saying that that night I took out the client.

The expense report goes through my company with no problems, but the client that our company is working for flags that receipt is not acceptable and not to be covered. My company put me in direct communication with the customer and I explained, but nope, not accepted, not covered. I again talked to the company and explained to them that my manager advised me to do this as well as mentioned that my manager confirmed that he would cover the costs, but unfortunately my manager was out with COVID at the time and he wasn't returning for at least two weeks. The customer still refuses to pay for the bill and says that he wants to hear specifically

from the manager who okayed this. This is getting crazy out of hand. So my boss, the owner of our company, just covers it out of pocket. So the full $60.68, not just the $0.68. The customer says that no receipt that goes over the $60 limit will ever be approved. One day, I meet that customer face to face, and I say, you realize that I spent on average less than like $27 a day out of your $60 allowance, so it's

laughable to be denied. The customer must have been offended because he yells at me and says, no receipt over $60 will be covered. Well, cumulicious compliance. At all three places that I eat every day for the past six months, they agree to round up the bill to $60 every time I eat there. So basically, every time I eat there, I just leave a huge tip to the server. The next month, the expense report is sent out, and the customer calls me directly seething, asking me why every single daily receipt is $60 from a specific day onwards.

I just replied with, no receipts over $60 will be covered, so I have to fit my meals within the allowance. He called my company to complain about me, but the relevant person told them that they didn't understand the problem because the agreement wasn't broken. I continued charging the maximum amount that I could for the remaining two months that I was there. As a result, the restaurant staff loved me, so I got treated like a king. Opie, the term for that customer is Pennywise and Dollar Foolish. Okay, Max, we have a new spot for Sunwing vacations.

Okay, Sunwing Cyber Monday deals up to 40% off. Hang on, I think we got the wrong script. Yeah, it's 40% off, what's the issue? 40% off Cyber Monday vacation deals? Yes, why do you keep repeating me 40% off? Huh, just think about what you could do with all those savings. I know, in fact it's in the script, when you save more, you could do with all those savings. I know. In fact, it's in the scripts. When you save more, you can do more.

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This happened a few months ago, but the problem has been going on for a few years. Every other month, I would get a text message from someone asking for a doctor or to make an appointment. I started off immediately telling them that they had the wrong number. Hey, it happens. When it started happening more frequently, I dealt with a minor annoyance by trying to have some fun. Is Dr. Lee available?

There's no Dr. Lee here, only Dr. Wong. Dr. Wong number. It was funny until the volume of messages started increasing and I got annoyed. A quick Google search led me to the clinics page. Their number was indeed easily mistakeable for mine. Their number ends with 013 and mine ends with 073. Also, the font they used certainly made things worse. I called the clinic to tell them about this problem and that they had to do something

about it. Change the fonts, spell the numbers out, or even change their number. I just wanted the calls to stop. The lady just brushed me off and said there was nothing she could do. I asked to speak to someone in charge but was denied. She told me to change my number or just deal with it. So here comes the part right dealt with it. After an odd month of peace, I received several messages over a week asking me to make an appointment. Hi, I'd like to make an appointment, please. Sure, the next available slot is next Friday at 10. Would that work for you?

I made very sure never to claim that I represented the clinic. If anyone asked for a specific doctor, I would say that no such person is here. And if they did ask for the clinic, I tell them they got the wrong number. Basically, I had myself covered and I tried to give every single person the same appointment time.

When Friday came around, I received several angry replies from those people and a call from the clinic. The messages generally went like this. You're a terrible person. Why would you do this to waste my time? Why'd you pretend to be the clinic? I would say, I'm sorry, ma'am, but I run a PC repair service. I was expecting you to show up, but you didn't show. If you looked at the message, you never asked that this was a clinic, and I never claimed to be a clinic. Then the clinic called me. Hi, who's this?

Why did you pretend to be us and arrange for all these appointments? I called you months ago to let you know about this, but you told me to just deal with it. So, I set up appointments for them to see me. It's not my fault they showed up at your door. Maybe you should change your number. And I hung up. Sure, I feel a little bad that I made those people travel to the clinic, but I've since stopped receiving messages from random people. And after checking the clinic's site, they now have an online appointment making system. Our next Reddit post is from Lord Kelly. I'm a website developer, and I used to work for the stupidest buffoon of a man who had

no clue about web development, even though he thought that he did. He read articles on web development and forced us to implement the new things that he had spent five minutes reading up on almost weekly. One day, he was messing around on our company's website, and because of some work I was doing, one of the pages he was trying to look at was temporarily unpublished, resulting in a 404 error. He went berserk and started lecturing me on how this was completely unprofessional, and if a customer ever saw it, we'd lose them. I rolled my eyes, said the page was only down for a minute, and it was fine. He then told me that we needed to be alerted somehow, every time a user got a 404 error

on the website. First of all, this is ridiculous. You don't need to be alerted every time this happens. Second of all, sites get hundreds and hundreds of 404 errors every day due to automated scripts trying random URLs to see if they can find anything good, or spiders trying to look for pages that may have once existed, but don't anymore. I explained this to him, but he wasn't having any of it. No, we need to be emailed every time this happened so we can fix it. Internally, I was crying with despair at this point.

But I decided to be hilarious to prove my point anyways. I set up a script on our 404 template that would email him every time a 404 page was displayed and left it on overnight. I came in the next day to find him sitting there, scrolling through pages and pages of his email trying to delete the 4,000 or so emails that arrived overnight. The best part is that only 100 emails could be displayed at the same time, so he had to delete 40 pages of emails. I also made sure to take my sweet time disabling it, so he probably got a couple hundred more

emails before I got around to doing it. That was our Sasha Malicious Compliance, and if you liked this content, be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day.