rSlash - r/Maliciouscompliance I SMASHED My Boss's Car with a Concrete Hammer!

Episode Date: August 12, 2021

r/Maliciouscompliance In today's episode, OP works for a trio of bosses. Two of the bosses are brothers, and they never ever clean their concrete stirring stick. They leave that job to OP, which takes a full hour out of his day to clean the concrete. Eventually, OP gets sick of spending so much time chipping the concrete of the stick. When his bosses tell him, "It's your job!" OP grabs the concrete stick and smashes it against his boss's van, shattering the concrete and instantly cleaning the stick. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to R-Slash, a podcast where I read the best post from across Reddit. Today's subreddit is R-Slash malicious compliance, where OPs smashes his boss's car. Our next Reddit posted from Donnie Bross. Years ago, I worked for a high-end contracting company. It was a small business that had about 10 people in total, including the three owners. Two were brothers and were in charge of large renovations, and the third was in charge of all the custom cabinetry and high-end furniture that we made in the shop. This third guy was my direct boss. I only ever occasionally interacted with the brothers, normally in the mornings and

afternoon when they would come to pick up and drop off tools for the cargo van. Part of my shop duties every day included cleaning up their tools and putting them away, and I couldn't leave until I was done. Now the brothers had a bad habit of never washing the stick they used to mix cement. Every day would come back caked in dried cement and I'd have to spend an hour breaking it all off. I'd ask them several times to just wash it down with the hose after they used it, but I was always met with, oh yeah, we'll remember next time.

After a few months of this, I was getting pretty frustrated. One extremely hot summer day, I was sitting around at the shop waiting for them. I was caked in sweat and sawdust from making cabinets all day, and I was in a bad mood. The brothers pull up and start unloading. Low and behold, they hadn't cleaned the cement stick again. The base of it was practically a complete ball. I said, seriously, what the f? Oh yeah, sorry. How hard is it to just watch this thing off? I've asked for months. It's your job to clean it, so just clean it. Cue the compliance. I lifted it up, brought my arm back, and swung it as hard as I could at the side of the cargo van. The sound of dinting metal

was so loud. The impact had knocked off most of the concrete, so I handed the stick back to the flabbergasted brother and said, there I cleaned it. Then I just walked back to the shop. Both brothers wanted to fire me, but they couldn't because the third guy was my boss and he refused. My boss told me a month later that every third guy was my boss and he refused. My boss told me a month later that every time he saw the dent, he laughed. The brothers always brought the stick back clean afterwards. Okay, so obviously these two brothers are buttholes, but even then, I don't even understand the logic here. Why would you want to pay your employee for one hour of time when you could just clean it yourself in one minute? Our next reddit

postage from Swiftraven. When I was younger and through my early to mid adult years I was an avid boulder. I had an over 200 average back when that actually meant something. This all happened before the bowling ball technology boom which comes into play here. Also I worked at the local bowling center from the age of 16 to 21 and then again later in my early 20s. I worked in the back as a pin setter, I worked the front of the center from the age of 16 to 21, and then again later in my early 20s. I worked in the back as a pin-setter, I worked in front of the house, so I really knew how things operated, what could go wrong, etc.

One day I was bowling at a different bowling alley. The first frame, after each shot, my ball came back with a small nick taken out of it. Nothing major, but yeah. I put that ball away, and I brought out an old ball that I never used, but it was in one of my bags. For my next two or three shots, I had another Nick taken out of my ball each time. On the fourth frame, it finally came back with a fairly large junk taken out of it. Usually, that means there's a nail or a screw that's worked its way loose, or a piece of metal has broken near the ball lift and it's cutting into the

ball. I take my ball up to the counter and tell the manager and I show him what happened. Now I was only four frames into the game and I said that I can move, and he said no. They couldn't move me because they had a party coming in and no lanes available. He told me to just keep bowling and the pro shop will repair the ball. I asked if he was sure and he said yeah he'll go and tell them to fix it up in the center would pay for it. Most pro shops are individually owned and operated. The owner rents his space from the center and this was no exception. Now, having done some work for pro shops before, I know for a fact that there is no way that this ball can be fixed if I keep bowling with it and this keeps happening.

One single gouge can be repaired fairly easily as long as it's not in the track of the ball. But massive multiple gouge is all over the place. Nope. So, I keep bowling for two or three games, knowing that I'm going to get a new bowling ball out of this. Of course, these huge chunks just keep coming out of the ball. I finish playing, and there probably isn't a single two inch by two inch section of the ball that isn't damaged I take the ball into the pro shop and the conversation goes as follows the pro shop guy says

What the hell happened to this ball did it get hung up in the pan setter or something? The lane that I was on damage at each time I threw the manager said that you would fix it why'd you keep bowling? I can't fix this the manager just told me to keep bowling after I showed him the first gouge. The pro shop guy then called in the manager of the center. I know you said that he was bringing in a damage ball, but did you tell him to keep bowling after you saw the damage? Yeah, we couldn't move him, so I told him to just bowl out his games and that you would fix this.

I can't fix this, you're gonna have to replace the ball. What? Then there's a bunch of back and forth arguing about why the ball can't be fixed and how they don't carry the ball that I have. Fine, replace your ball with anything on the wall except for the X-calibur. So I can pick any ball other than the X-calibur and you'll pay for it drilling in all. Yes, okay, thanks. The manager left. Can I have store credit for that ball in the wall and then apply it to the S caliber and I'll pay the difference? Sure, we can do that. The Pro Shop guy measured my hand and drilled the ball and I only paid like 40 bucks for a ball that was at least 200 dollars and I definitely

couldn't have afforded it at the time. I pulled my second ever 300 game with it less than a month later, and I won two tournaments with it. It also won me a bunch of high game pot money during league play. That ball paid for itself 10 times over in the first two months. Our next reddit post is from Cath Joy. Many years ago, I worked in back office support in a large office with lots of departments. Generally speaking, we had core hours, especially for lunch. Core lunch hours were between 12 and 2, meaning you had to take your lunch during that time.

Different departments had different rules for lunch depending on their needs. For example, the call center had strict rules for when people could take their lunch, since they needed constant phone coverage. However, I was in back office support. Things were a lot more relaxed for us because we rarely took phone calls. Most of our work came in the form of tickets and tasks locked through our system and emails from other departments with general queries. The only requirement was that at least one manager and two members of staff had to be there at all times in case a colleague from another department needed

to see us or in case of an emergency. So generally, we could take our lunch anytime we wanted as long as it was between 12 and 2. I would always take my lunch at 12.28. The reason for this was I actually wanted to take my lunch at 12.30, but one of our call centers was the floor above us and they stand peeded down the stairs at 12.30. I was in an accident some years ago that gave me issues with my back and hips, so I can be a little unsteady on the stairs.

So I always left for lunch at 12.28 so I could avoid the call center, stand peed. I suppose I could have gone at 12, but the staff canteen was never set up and never had any food ready at 12. Hence why I left at 12.28. Now I always restarted my work exactly 1 hour later at 128 pm. Sometimes a few minutes earlier. A 1 hour lunch break was far too long for me, so I was often back at my desk nursing a coffee while scrolling through my phone by around 1 pm.

However, if a colleague came to me and asked for help, I always helped and just added the time that I was helping them to my lunch. So if I spent 10 minutes helping a colleague, I'd be back to work by 138. All of this was logged in our time sheet. I wasn't doing anything outside of policy. We were allowed to do this. Anyway, one of my colleagues had obviously noticed this. Let's call her Mindy. Mindy considered herself to be the queen bee of the office. Everything had to be done her way because she was perfect, and she always tattled on people for petty stuff. Like that one of our colleagues used too many staples, or that colleagues were literally a few minutes late, or took too many pea breaks.

Mindy literally kept a tally of how many drinks and pea breaks everyone took so she could tattle. She even once tried to tattle by saying that one of my colleagues came in drunk and she could smell it on her breath. What Mindy was smelling was cold medication. The colleague that she thought that she was tattling on had a cold. Unfortunately, Mindy was also our manager's favorite employee, so she got away with a lot. So Mindy tattled to our manager about how I'm always leaving for lunch two minutes early and yet often come back late. My manager tore me a new one for this.

I explained to him that the times I come back later when I helped a colleague and he should see that logged on the sheet. I also explained why I left for lunch at 1228. He then says, yes, well, whether it's two minutes or not, we have core hours in this office. I say, yeah, core hours are 12 to 2. I can take my lunch anytime between 12 and 2. 12.28 is within those core hours. So he then tried to say that, no, in our department, we have a policy of 12.30 to 130 to make sure enough people are in the department.

I say that I've never heard of this policy. This has never been the case, but he brushes me off and says, take your lunch at 1230 and come back at 130. You don't deal with any queries or anything that will delay you. Just take your lunch on time and come back on time. No exceptions. Okay, then, that's exactly what I'll do. No matter what I'm doing. Even if I'm at my desk and a colleague comes to me, I tell them I'm on lunch and to come

back later. Then, surprise, surprise. Mindy comes along with an urgent query at 110. I look Mindy dead in the eye and say, sorry, I'm on lunch. She storms off to the manager to tattle on me. I get called into the manager's office because she lodged a complaint against me for bullying her and being uncooperative. Mindy's in the office as well, with my manager acting as the mediator. He asked me why I refused to help her. Mindy is grinning maliciously at me with her trademark, you're going to get

it face." I said, Mindy spoke to me at 110, I had 20 minutes left of lunch. You said the lunch policy is 1230-130, no exceptions, I said, smiling. Mindy looked like she wanted to slap me, and my manager was furious. But he knew that he couldn't do or say anything because that's what he said. Eventually, my manager ended up getting promoted and moving to another department. Our new manager had no patience for Mindy's excessive tattling, and at one point he shouted at her.

This isn't primary school, and I am not your teacher. Go back to your desk and focus on your own work instead of everyone else's. The new manager also rescinded that no exceptions be as policy that my manager had made on the spot. And as long as we came back on time and didn't leave the department understabbed, she couldn't care less about when we took our lunch. So this feels more like a question for some kind of like employment lawyer. But I'm like 90% sure that keeping a log of your co-workers' urination schedule is some

kind of weird sexual harassment. Like it has to be, right? Your co-workers can't just be like, excuse me, OP, but it's 3 p.m. Aren't you overdue for a tinkle? Our next read it posted from image. This just happened today, but it was so satisfying for me. I bid on some furniture and an online auction. I was surprised that I actually won it, but also very happy. I mostly purchased small

pieces, but some of it was big enough that it wouldn't fit in my car, so I decided to run a van. The major Midwest hardware store in my city has a special where you can get a van for $18.95. Their website said that weekend rates were higher and that I'd have to pay a deposit, but that was it. I figured it was still that weakened rates were higher and that I'd have to pay a deposit, but that was it. I figured it was still cheaper than a rental place, so I went bright and early this morning and went to customer service. I asked the customer service lady about the process. She took copies of my license and my insurance, and then plopped the rental agreement on the counter. Are you transporting things purchased here? No, just in furniture.

Okay, well, with that historic purchase, it took $300 deposit on a credit card. Is it just a Actually, I'll be transporting things that I bought here too. I grabbed this little thing of donuts and laughed as my total drop from $330 to just over $100. I ran my card and she finished a transaction in silence. When I returned the van, the manager gave it a very thorough walkthrough. I got my deposit back and I saw the cashier staring daggers at me. I was very happy to save money with their van rental. Our next reddit post is from Saddo Sun. I'm the audiovisual supervisor for a large company

that hosts events. Specifically, I oversee the technical side of corporate events, giving clients projectors, microphones, speakers, et cetera, for their large corporate presentations, meetings, and whatnot. I also manage a floor crew who actively runs the events. We use a program to book our equipment, which, while powerful, is a bit laggy on the average

computer and is also extremely expensive each year. It costs about $2,000 per user per year and there's about 30 of us in the company that use it. Relative to how much our company makes per year, it's a pretty hefty cost. It's a good program when leveraged properly, but sometimes it can drive you mad with its weird way of doing things. One important feature of this program is that it tracks the booking of all equipment everywhere, including time for packing it into a room and packing it out of a room. This is useful because it prevents our team from overbooking equipment. If it's not available, the system just won't let you book it.

There's no way around that. If I'm short on equipment, I can book extra equipment from another rental company and charge that client. However, I have to know in advance when I need to do that. Anyway, cue this big presentation from the booking software company showing their latest version of the booking software. It's great! It's faster! It's better than ever! We have a busy week coming up, and I'm flat out floored with paperwork, pulling a 60-hour

week. Anyway, when am I flooring crew comes to me? Hey, OP, this equipment isn't available, and we've already got it out for another event. I said, huh? It should be available. No, it's definitely not. I just set that equipment up for another event two hours ago and that event is running for three days. I run back to my desk and recheck all my paperwork. Just so you know, equipment list going out for events is often over a hundred lines long. So we don't do manual checks for overbookings, our software should do it for us. As it turns out, all of our equipment was overbooked multiple times, and many cases overbooked on three events or more. I make multiple phone calls to rental companies and bring in rental equipment

on short notice. That's expensive, and I can't charge it to the client on such short notice. So basically, instead of making money that week, we were hammering money instead. So I use our booking software to make a test event, and I proceed to double check all of our upcoming events. Oh man, this is a lot of overbooked equipment. I tell the booking software company, and they're extremely dismissive, saying that it's a rare glitch and that they'll look into it. One month later, and there's still no fix. I'm now spending significantly more time double checking all of our events for overbooking. The booking software company still doesn't care about a small company like ours. Frustrated, I asked my boss for a copy of our service agreement with the company.

He's just as annoyed with the situation as I am, so we go through it it together. It turns out there's a clause in there saying the booking company would provide compensation in the event of a total system failure. Well, we would definitely call this a system failure of sorts. Their failure is costing us a lot of money. So we send the bills for all of our rentals to cover overbooking to the booking software company. That gets their attention quickly when the total bill amounts to more than triple how much they make off of us each year. The booking software company calls me. Hey OP, what's with these bills?

Okay, so we open a ticket with you that you still haven't responded to after two months now, and here's the link between each rental and each event that was overbooked. Uh, there is no way that our software is letting you overbook equipment, and you can't send the bills to us for every event that's overbooked. I share my screen with the guy, and I say, alright, let's test it. The booking software company shares their screen as well, logging into our version of the booking system. They proceed to book some equipment that should 100% not be available. True to their word, the system doesn't let them do it.

I then book the exact same equipment on the exact same event, but from my computer. With my boss's my witness, the system lets me do it without any problem. This surprises them, and they start talking about potential fixes. They also say they're willing to pay for the rentals up until now. Two months later, we're still building them for every rented piece of equipment, and they're still paying without question, and we still don't have a fix. I've changed the procedures to check for overbooking equipment though, so we aren't running around like madmen trying to fix things last minute anymore. OP, the really incredible thing about this story isn't the malicious compliance.

It's that your company was willing to spend $60,000 for a software that doesn't even work. Like, for 60K, you could literally just hire a person to do this correctly 100% of the time. All you'd really need is just a really organized person and like an Excel spreadsheet, and that would do the job just fine. But 60K for software? Opie, that sounds ridiculous.

That was our slash malicious compliance and this is our slash puppy bloopers. One month. Oh hey, you go. Come in. Hey puppy. Puppy. Wagon your tail. Wagon your tail. Hey puppy. Puppy. Wagon your tail.

Wagon your tail. Hey you go. Oh my god calm down puppy. You want to record with me? Huh? You want to record with me? You can record with me. I'm gonna keep it down though, no heavy panting.

No, no, no, no heavy panting. No work. Come on, you go. It's work time, buddy. Um, one month. One month later. One month later later and there's still no you go puppy one one you go

puppy do you mind do you mind You might do you mind?