rSlash - r/Maliciouscompliance I Taught My Stupid Sergeant a Lesson!

Episode Date: December 9, 2021

r/Maliciouscompliance In today's episode, OP is a member of the military who accidentally crawls through a nest of stinging bugs during a training mission. The bugs absolutely devour his legs, covering them in thousands of painful welts. He has a bad allergic reaction, and a doctor orders him to get bed rest. His egotistical sergeant isn't buying it, and she mocks OP that "You don't get bed rest for bug bites!" OP gives her some malicious compliance by showing her just how wrong she is! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to our slash malicious compliance where OP gets a serious bug bite. Our next reddit post is from Quester. When I was in the army, my unit had a training day one day where we did tactical movements and close quarter combat with paintball guns. It was pretty fun, except that it was in Texas in the middle of summer in a training area full of tall grass that I ended up crawling around in a lot. I didn't notice any problems until a couple of hours later when I was getting ready to head home and my legs started burning. I pulled my boots off and rolled my pants up, and my feet and legs up to my mid-thigh were swollen and covered in hundreds of angry red welts. Apparently I'd crawl through a nest of chiggers, which are tiny biting

bugs common in America that are apparently called Trombiculodae officially, and they had gone to town on my legs. It was bad enough to provoke an allergic reaction. I drove myself to the emergency room at the base hospital, and while I'm waiting to be seen and feeling more and more terrible, I had to focus on something else, so I started counting the bites. I stopped when I got to 100, and that was just on the inside of my right calf. The doc had never seen anything like this and I ended up getting a massive dose of steroids, antibiotics, and anti-inflammatories, all hospital grade with serious side effects

on their own. As well as four days of quarters, the military equivalent of being told to stay home and not come into work. My girlfriend came and picked me up from the hospital and drove me home because at that point, I was in no state to drive myself between the allergic reaction and all the meds that I was on. On the way home, I called my sergeant to let him know about the situation so we can get word up the chain of command. About an hour later, I get a call from the first sergeant herself, who's the senior most NCO in the unit. And for those

who don't know, an NCO is a non-commissioned officer. Now, she was one of the most incompetent first sergeants that I ever worked with during my time in the army. She was constantly making terrible decisions, mindlessly greenlighting whatever terrible decision are equally incompetent captain came up with, and unnecessarily micromanaging people. She told me that my quarters had been revoked by the captain and that I have to come in the following day. I tell her that I'm holding orders in my hand from a doctor who's also a lieutenant colonel that I'm supposed to be taking time off to recover. She responds with,

you can't get quarters from bug bites and rants at me that I'm just malingering and trying to get out of work. She said that there was no way that I could possibly be seriously ill from just some bug bites. I tried to explain that I had an allergic reaction, but she wasn't having it, insisting that I was a liar and a bad soldier because of it. I was to be at formation the next morning at 0900 hours with my supposed quarter slip and they would decide then if they were going to punish me more for trying to pull this stunt Q malicious compliance we had physical training the next morning so Okay, I wore my physical training uniform a t-shirt and shorts and sit in my regular fatigues the next day and I had my girlfriend drive me in I figured that if I was going to get in trouble anyways, being in the wrong uniform would be the least

of my worries. But my bare legs now showed off literal hundreds of angry red, almost purple or black in some cases huge welts on my leg. The skin was more well than not by the next morning. And I walked up showing off that rather horrific sight to my entire company of more than a hundred enlisted, incios, and officers. Literally, everyone who saw me was like, Jesus, effing Christ, OP! What the f happened to your legs? It is clear to every single person in the company that I am actually legitimately having

an allergic reaction just by sight alone. The first sergeant hears people making a ruckus, sees me, and turns bright red, knowing that she screwed up when she heard me answering my warrant officers when they asked me, why are you even here if you're that sick? I replied, my first sergeant made me come in, and she told me that you can't get quarters because of bug bites. Within 10 minutes, I handed in a copy of my quarter slip, got a quiet and very private

apology from the first sergeant and was sent home for the next 4 days. Our next reddit posted from past ago. Years ago I worked at a local coffee shop. We served the standard coffee shop menu of coffee drinks and pastries that we made in house. One of our coffee drinks on the menu was a Makiyato. We served a traditional Makiyato, which is a double shot of espresso with a touch of steamed milk and milk foam.

But since a certain chain has named a very different drink the same thing, I would always try to clarify what the customer was ordering whenever they asked for one. One day, a woman came up to the counter on her cell phone. She briefly pulled the phone away from her head long enough to mouth, Caramel Machiato at me. I started my spiel about how we serve a traditional Machiato, which is quite small. Did she want that one or one like the other place makes? She cut me off three words in and dramatically said, I know what it is, just make it! So I rang her up and made it. I made her a tiny drink with espresso, caramel syrup, and milk foam. When I gave it to her, she finally got off her phone call to tell me that I clearly made

it wrong. I explained that I just made what she ordered because she told me that she knew what she was ordering. She now said that she wanted one like she would get at the national chain, which I happily made and charged her for. She did not get a refund on the first drink. Down in the comments, we have this post from Arndt Russia. I did something similar, but the customer was with a friend and sit on the phone.

I watched her confidently take a big sip, crinkle her face and discuss, and then not touch it again until it was time to leave. She threw it in the garbage. At least she knew she messed up, so there's that. Our next reddit posted from WSS. When I was in high school, I had a part-time job working at a local restaurant. One day I came in and was scheduled to wash dishes. No big deal. I walked into the back and came to find out that the morning shift did not have a dishwasher, so there was a mountain of dishes. No bueno. On top of all that, we got slammed that night. As a minor, I there was a mountain of dishes. No, bueno.

On top of all that, we got slammed that night. As a minor, I was required to take a 30-minute break to work my full shift. As I clocked out for my break, I asked my manager if she could have someone else cover my position while I was on break to prevent an even worse situation. She responded, we won't be able to, you'll just have to stay late and finish it. Unimportant thing to keep in mind is that this manager was notoriously lazy and unhelpful. She never lended a helping hand to get things done faster. She would rather spend three hours past closed, sitting in the office waiting for us to finish our closing duties, instead of coming out and helping to get everything done in a timely manner.

She also wasn't very familiar with child labor laws in Ohio. Since I was a minor, not only did I have to take a 30 minute break, but I also couldn't work past 11 p.m. on school nights. So after clocking back in for my break, I resumed washing the mountain of dishes that had accumulated. I took my time and didn't rush to get everything cleaned, but I also wasn't going extremely slow on purpose. I took my time and didn't rush to get everything cleaned, but I also wasn't going extremely slow on purpose.

10.59 rolls around, and I walk into her office to tell her that I'm leaving. She said, got everything done? I said, nope, it's a Wednesday night, I can't work past 11, labor laws and all. I left the water turned on for you, there's still a lot of dishes left. The look on her face was priceless. I clocked out with the biggest smile on my face, knowing that she was going to have to leave the office and do something for once. I asked another manager the next day to see what time she clocked out. 1.15am. Our next reddit post is from Sissavy. I'm visiting Austin right now for Formula 1,

and after being exposed to 400,000 people in the crowd for the races, I decided I should get a COVID test just to be safe. After checking around, Walgreens was the only place it offered a test, so I booked an appointment for their drive-through testing site and took an Uber from my hotel room since I didn't have a car. I assume they would give me the test through the window, and that'd be that. So when the pharmacist told me that I legally needed to have a wheeled vehicle, I asked her if it had to be a motorized vehicle or not, to which she replied, it just needs four wheels.

I walked around to the front, grabbed a shopping cart, put my butt in it, and I scooted back towards the window. She was sweet and had a good sense of humor enough to laugh and say, okay, I guess that qualifies today and gave me my test. It made my day, our next word it posted from Bata. So this happened a good six years ago now. I was just starting my IT career, so I was a basic level one desktop engineer for a large

financial company. My team consisted of me, one level two engineer and three managers, one for data, one for people, and one overall manager. Parking in town was either expensive or impossible, and while management and supervisors got parking spaces in the huge multi-story building next to the office, other staff members didn't get one, and they either had to pay the very expensive parking fees or park far away and walk. Since I was on a low entry level salary, I opted to walk the 30 minutes into town, and I often got sick due to the bad weather. The level 2 guy lived a 5 minute walk away from the office and he didn't know in a car.

When any of the managers were off, they offered their parking space to me so I wouldn't have to walk, which was very nice to them and greatly appreciated because it was saving me money too. One day, I got called into HR because somebody saw me coming out of the multi-story and they got jealous and asked why I got a space and they didn't. The HR manager was incredibly condescending and talked me like I was a literal child with lines like, back when I was your age, I thought the world owed me everything too, which was absolutely not my attitude, but sure, go off on one like you know me. She said this wasn't fair to the level 2 guy because he might want the space too.

She wouldn't listen when I said the level 2 guy didn't drive and that he was okay when I asked him if I could use that space. At the end of the day I went to the management office and we were chatting about the day as we usually did. I told them about the HR meeting and I said they weren't allowed to let me use their space anymore. The data manager then had a genius malicious compliance suggestion. That manager was a selfless soul who sacrificed much of her time to help other people.

And this situation just rubbed her the wrong way, and she wanted to do something out of spite. She said that whenever any of them were on holiday, they would just tell me their parking space would be empty for the duration, not specifically that I could use it, which is what HR told me not to do. So the next time they were on holiday, I parked in their space, and after a few days, somebody else got jealous and tattle to HR again. I was dragged into a meeting and asked why I was still using their space. I said that I just took a chance on an empty space that I found in the multi-story.

She went and asked a data manager when she was back in if she said that I could use the space to which she said, no, I just said goodbye before I went on holiday for two weeks. HR then told her that I was in her space in her absence and asked her if she wanted to raise a complaint about me. The manager said, no thanks, I wasn't using it anyway. Their hands were tied and there was nothing they could do to prevent me from using the spaces because they're allocated privately to individuals for use even outside of office hours and only reclaimed when they quit. That was our slash malicious compliance, and if you liked this content, be sure to follow

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