rSlash - r/Maliciouscompliance I Told a Customer's Wife about His Mistress!

Episode Date: August 22, 2021

r/Maliciouscompliance OP works at a doctor's office and she needs to deliver a certain document to a customer. The customer listed his mistress as one of his contacts, so... OP called his mistress. The mistress comes and picks up the records. Later, the customer's wife calls OP asking when she can pick up the records. Uh oh... OP has no choice but to tell the woman that the mistress already came to pick up the records. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to R-Slash, a podcast where I read the best post from a cross-reddit. Today's subreddit is R-Slash malicious compliance, where OP accidentally reveals to a wife that her husband has a mistress. Our next reddit posted from Eta Peach. This happened back in 2009. I was working part-time at a doctor's office while I was in nursing school. I was one of the receptionists, and I did all the filing and cataloging and such. It was boring work, but my boss guaranteed me a job after nursing school, so that's why

I did it. This particular doctor was an orthopedic surgeon. We had lots of patients coming in for MRIs, CT scans, and X-rays. This one particular patient, Frank, was scheduled to have surgery in a couple of days, and he had to come pick up his MRIs in X-rays from our office and bring them with him to his procedure. So anyway, I call Frank and tell him to come pick up his images, but he didn't answer. I called him again during lunch, but still no answer, so I left a message. The following day I called him again, but still no answer.

It was imperative that Frank got his images, or else he wouldn't be able to have his surgery. So, I looked in his file to see if he had any other contact information. He listed his home phone number as well as his wife's cell phone. I called his house and left a message and I also called his wife Amy but she didn't answer either so I left her a message as well. The office manager, Diane, told me to just call whoever was listed in his emergency contacts. Because if Frank didn't get his images and missed his surgery, then she would have to do a whole new stack of paperwork to reschedule him, and she didn't want to be bothered. I looked to see if

there was an emergency contact, and Frank listed a woman named Helen. Relation to patient, girlfriend. I told Diane that I didn't want to call this guy's girlfriend when I'd already left a message for his wife as it would put me in an awkward position. Diane said that as long as the patient listed them as an emergency contact, then I could call them. She also said it's not uncommon for couples to be separated but still legally married for insurance reasons. And that this could be the case for Frank and Amy, which I guess made sense. I really wanted to believe that no one would be stupid enough

to put their secret lover as their emergency contact. I didn't want to get fired for being insubordinate, so I called Helen and she actually answered her phone. I was secretly hoping that she wouldn't. I told her that Frank's images needed to be picked up prior to his surgery. She came by during lunch, got the images and left. I immediately called Frank again to let him know that Helen picked up his images and to not worry about it. But this fool wasn't answering his phone, so I left him another message. A couple of hours later, Frank's wife, Amy, called back and said that she wasn't able

to answer before because she was teaching, but that she got our message and she was coming to pick up Frank's images now that school was done for the day. I told her the images had already been picked up. I tried to be as vague as possible. Amy asked, who picked them up? I know Frank is still busy at his office and hasn't had the chance to come get them. Me trying really hard to be vague said, we called someone from his emergency contact list. Was it his brother Steve? No, not his brother. Well then who? Helen. Who is Helen? I don't know anyone named Helen. I'm not sure, but since she was on Frank's emergency contact list and no one else was answering

their phone, we called her and she already came and got the images. Confused Amy hung up. The following day was Frank's surgery. The day after Frank's surgery, my boss jokingly asked me, what the hell did you do to that guy? He came and all pissed at me, saying that my secretary told his wife about his other girlfriend. I told my boss about what happened, and that Diane told me to call his girlfriend, and my boss understood. Diane tried to throw me under the bus by saying that I didn't tell her that Helen was Frank's girlfriend, and that I told her that Helen was just a friend, and that she would have never given me the green light to call a patient's mistress.

But I reminded her in front of my boss that she said that it was possible for Frank and Amy to be married, but separated. Diane was trying to cover herself because she probably thought it was some kind of hip of violation, but nothing ever happened. OP, when you said the next day was Frank's surgery, I had to wonder. was that because of his scheduled surgery or was that surgery necessary because of what his wife did to him? Our next Reddit post is from Cath Joy. When I was in my early 20s, I worked at a supermarket. I should note that I was a pretty reliable employee.

I was never laid. In fact, I often got in early and I rarely called in sick. When this story happened, I hadn't called in sick for 9 months and even then the manager had to send me home. I had been up all night swinging between being burning hot and freezing cold so I was obviously feverish. And I had been throwing up at both ends so to speak. At one point at about 2am I was sitting on the toilet with my head in the sink, utterly miserable. I must have passed out, because the next thing I knew, I was lifting my

head off the sink, and it was 7am. I was due to start work at noon that day, but that obviously wasn't going to happen. So I called up my manager, let's call him Steve. Steve was known for being a real a-hole. He never believed anyone who called in sick, except for his best friends, but he often called in sick himself. A lot of the time, we knew that was because he was hungover and not actually sick. The conversation went as follows. Hey Steve, sorry, but I can't come in, I'm sick. With what? I don't know, I think it might be the flu.

I've been up sick all night and I have a fever. Don't be stupid. If you had the flu, you'd be completely knocked out. I need you in. Come in or you're fired. I can't. I just told you that I can't stop vomiting. I passed out. Ugh. Either come in or bring a doctor's note or you're fired! In the UK, you're legally allowed to self-certify for five days. This means that you can tell your employer that you're sick and you don't need a doctor's note.

If you're sick from more than five days, then you do need a note. It's also illegal to demand a doctor's note during the self-certify period. I knew these facts, but I was still terrified. This was during the recession, and I couldn't afford to lose my job. So, I got myself dressed, and almost passed out trying to do so. Then, I trudged a 25-minute walk to the doctor's office. I ended up sitting in the doctor's office for a little over an hour, which for walk-ins was pretty good. I get in to see the doctor, and the doctor was furious at me forins was pretty good. I get in to see the doctor, and the doctor was furious at me for coming in. We're not supposed to go to the doctor when you

have a cold or a flu, and of course I knew that I should be able to self-certify. She told me as such, saying that I shouldn't be here and I should have stayed at home. I then explained what it happened to Steve and how he threatened to fire me over this and I couldn't afford to lose my job. I was struggling as it was. My doctor then turned her anger towards my manager. She asked if I got sick pay from the company and I said yes. He wants a sick note, does he? The doctor said. Okay, I'll give him a sick note. Now my manager only wanted to know confirming that I was sick, but instead my doctor wrote something along the lines of this.

OP has come to the doctor's office because her manager, Steve, insisted that she come in. In spite of the fact that this is illegal, and all employees are allowed to self-certify, due to being forced to make this unnecessary and highly dangerous trip when the patient is ill, has a fever of 39 degrees Celsius, and almost passed out in the waiting room, I'm signing OP off for two full weeks to recover. Had OP been allowed to self-certify, as is the law, then they might have only needed a few days, but due to straining themselves, they now require two full weeks.

OP is not to be permitted back to work until two weeks later. The doctor said that she would have signed me off for even longer than this, but two weeks was the maximum that she could do without requiring further evidence. So basically, instead of just being off for a few days, I was now signed off for two full weeks, and I'd be paid for it! I went to my place of work, at which point one of the duty managers saw me and asked me what the heck I was doing here. Go home, you're very obviously unwell. I explained what happened. They agreed to help me downstairs

to Steve's office and went with me inside. I handed Steve the note. He read the note and then looked worried and tried to say, I wasn't being serious about firing you. Well gee, when you angrily growled it down the phone, it sure sounded like you were serious. The duty manager then said that he was going to drive me home. It was clear that Steve wanted to argue, but he had the sense to know that he shouldn't. The duty manager then drove me home, made sure that I was okay, then went back to work where they informed our union rep of what had happened. Steve had a disciplinary hearing where he was given a severe reprimand and a warning.

Steve tried to argue that he never said that I'd be fired and I was just lying and decided to go to the doctor. But the duty manager said they heard him admit to it when he said to me that he really didn't mean it. I felt better after a few days and I enjoyed my two weeks off fully paid and enjoyed the nice weather we had. Meanwhile Steve was forced to work overtime because we were short staffed. So thanks to that doctor, instead of being off for a few days, I ended up getting a nice two week paid vacation and Steve was given a final warning all because he insisted that I get a doctor's note.

Our next Reddit post is from YieldSex. As a young teenager I worked at an ice cream shop. One scoop of ice cream was supposed to be a quarter of a pound, and they had genius ways for scooping to make sure that each scoop was perfect. A notoriously obnoxious regular ordered one scoop of ice cream. After receiving his scoop of ice cream, he began to loudly complain that it was not one quarter of a pound. The manager asked the customer, who scooped your ice cream, and the guy immediately pointed at the scared, tiny 16-year-old girl.

She did! The manager marched the young lady up to the front of the store while the employees and customers stood in tense silence. The manager pulled out a digital scale. The manager took the customer's ice cream out of the cone and placed it on a sheet of wax paper on the scale. It came out to 0.35 pounds. The manager then grabbed a knife and cut off the over-scooped ice cream and scraped it into the sink. Afterwards, it came out to exactly 0.25 pounds. The manager put what remained of the ice cream back on the stunned customer's cone. The manager quite loudly says, Susie, our customers are paying for 1½ of a pound of ice cream. If I ever catch you scooping more than 1½ of a pound of ice cream for this customer,

we may have to let you go. The manager then said, Mr. Customer, I've watched you come into this ice cream store for years. You've regularly received more ice cream than you've been paid for while embarrassing and intimidating our workers. I'm sorry this has been happening to you for so long, but I'll make sure that it never happens again. And it never did. Alright, imagine being a full grown man, whining about not getting enough ice cream. It's like, what are you six?

Our next reddit postage from Griselda loves cats. My brother and I have never really gotten along. He's very OCD and controlling. I don't respond well to him. As kids we both had chores, more than our friends, but nothing abusive. For several years, I did dishes and he did laundry. Then when I was 12, he wanted to switch and he forced me into it. He would nitpick every little thing I did with the laundry. After screaming at me for close to an hour for not

ironing all of his clothes, I decided to just do what he wanted. I figured out how to use old-fashioned starch and I used heavy starch on all of his clothing. I went into his room and took every single item out of his closet and drawers and starched everything. He thought he had a package of underwear that was new, but I found it and starched them and ironed them. Of course, a blu-a-gas kid started screaming and throwing things. My parents were tired of his temper tantrums. My father helped me make it so that he couldn't use the washroom to wash out his clothing. My parents refused to take him to a laundromat to wash his clothing, telling him that he had

to make it up to me and stop being a jerk. Apparently, he ended up with a rash on his private areas from all the scratching. He never again fusted me to iron anything, and I still don't iron. I haven't owned one in almost 20 years, and I don't intend to ever own one. Our next reddit post is from Clue Guy, so quite a number of years ago I worked at Pizza Hut. Every Tuesday evening, a group of 12 people would come in to eat, usually within 30 minutes of closing time. They would order one large vegetarian pizza with hot peppers and ask for the pizza to

be well done. They would ask for chilies on the side. You might think, okay, what's wrong with that? Well a large pizza would be cut into 12 slices. The group would come in, take up a huge table, only have water, order one pizza, each person would have one slice, they'd leave a mess, and then not tip. They started asking for more hot peppers and complaining the pizza wasn't spicy enough. They also started sending the pizza back to be cooked more and it was

already pretty dark. Well, one day they sent the pizza back, but this time they asked for it to be remade not just cooked more. At this point, it was 15 minutes to closing. I cleaned everything and I was pretty much finishing up my shift. Of course the manager wants us to appease the customers, so I start making them another pizza. They wanted spicy, let's give them spicy. I added a coating of chilies to the tomato sauce. I covered it with toppings and added lots of hot peppers.

They wanted well done, fine, let's put it through the oven twice. This thing came out dark and it just smelled spicy. I cut the pizza and gave it to the waitress. I'm now waiting to get an earful after the customer complaints. I'm mentally preparing my excuse in my head that I'm just doing what the customer asked for. I finished my shift and the manager calls me over. Turns out the customer did ask to speak to a manager. The customer said it was the best piece they had since they started coming and it was just

how they wanted it. They asked if I could make it this way each week and they left a nice tip. Opie, this isn't malicious compliance, this is delicious compliance. Also, I've heard that apparently, I don't know if this is true, but I read online that this is basically how potato chips were invented. Some cook at some restaurant had like a dish where you had like thinly sliced potatoes, and that was basically the dish, just thinly sliced salted potatoes. And this customer kept sending it back over and over and over saying he wanted to be cooked more and added more salt. So eventually this cook just gets pissed off and he says, fine, he wants it thinner, I'll slice the potato as thinly as possible. He wants them browner,

then I will deep fry them until they're completely brown. He wants some extra salty, then I will drown them in salt. And so as a result, this guy basically invents potato chips. The cook sends out the potato chips and the customer loves it. So if that story is true, then the reason why potato chips exist today is because of some entitled customer who kept sending his dish back. Our next reddit post is from Fosh. Many years ago, it became law that all swimming pools had to be fenced. The fact that we lived in a fully fenced property with a gate wasn't enough. Our swimming pool had to have its own fence.

To add, ignored that rule because we didn't really use the pool anymore. I swam at Nationals a couple of times, and my brother was able to bob along pretty well. We never had any young kids come to the house. None of our friends had kids either, so there was zero point in fencing it. A couple of years after it became law, the council started doing inspections to make sure that pools were fenced. The inspector was a typical council employee, strutting around in his feet,

them flexing his muscles and threatening fines, court, et cetera. Dad got some quotes to have it fenced, which were pretty expensive because the hard paving surrounding our pool was curved and the fence couldn't be a typical wooden fence. Because A, wood doesn't follow curved contours easily. And B, council bylaw wouldn't allow that because little kids could climb the fence

using the crossmember as a footing. So Dad kind of ignored the issue for a while until the council guy came back and once again started threatening to take us to court and he gave us like 30 days. Dad started researching and came up with the solution. The council guy came back 31 days later and was furious that our pool wasn't fenced. Dad took the guy out to the pool and he showed the council guy the dozen or so fish and water lilies that

now occupied the pool, thus making it a fish pond. And according to law, fish ponds didn't need to be fenced in. Game set match. That was our Slash Militius Compliance, and if you liked this content, be sure to follow my podcast, because I put on your Reddit podcast episodes every single day.