rSlash - r/Maliciouscompliance Karen Ignored Zoo Signs and A LION PEED ON HER!

Episode Date: November 10, 2021

r/Maliciouscompliance In today's video, an entitled Karen thought that zoo signs don't apply to her. So when Karen ignored a warning sign that said "Sit behind the yellow line," the zookeepers saw an opportunity for malicious compliance! Karen, I hope you brought your raincoat, because you just entered the SPLASH ZONE! A zookeeper tells a command to the lion, who turns around and gives Karen a full body spray! Get 10% off your first month at Betterhelp.com/rslash Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to R-slash, a podcast where I read the best post from across Reddit. Today's subreddit is R-slash malicious compliance, where OP turns a hell job into a dream job. Our next Reddit post is from Jupa Cabro. I used to work in hotels in a ski town in Colorado. It was very expensive. I had started working at a new hotel making 10 bucks an hour. I was living with my brother in a tube bedroom place that was 700 square feet. Rent cost us half of our income.

When the slow season approached, I was told I would have to move to the night audit, 11 pm to 7 am, or risk being let go. The problem was that I lived three miles from the hotel and I took the bus to get there since I couldn't afford a car. The bus didn't run at night or early morning, so I would have to walk six miles a day in several inches of snow. So I asked for a raise. They said they would get back to me, but they needed to get an answer and I needed the job. So okay, I'll work night audits. I start the next week as an auditor, and while I'm being trained, I learned that I'm also losing a day of work.

The other auditor works three days, and I'll be working 4 days, not 5. That's a $320 a month hits my income before taxes. So I'll need to be making $12.50 an hour to keep making the same thing with cut hours. I decide to ask for a raise to $14 an hour. I complete training and meet with my general manager. He asks how I'm liking it, and I start off telling him my concerns. I tell him I wasn't told I was going to lose a day, and having to walk six miles a day in the snow, I was going to need a race to $14 an hour. He lets out an audible sigh, and tells me he can easily hire someone for this position for ten bucks an hour, so I can take it or leave it. I knew that it would be

very hard to find a job in the winter when everything closes up So I stayed as I walked out of his office. He said, I don't care how you do your job. Just do it Okay, I will. You see this job was incredibly easy It was seven hours of me doing absolutely nothing and one hour of actual work This gave me plenty of time to find shortcuts. The software we used allowed us to import scripts you could download from the developer site. One such script was a way to make my job literally one click.

The problem was, it was a $500 year license for it. Obviously, I wasn't going to propose to my general manager a way to eliminate my job, but there was a free trial on every script for seven days. I remember that, back then, you could get around paywalls on news websites by going into the web console and simply removing the paywall from the source code. I decided to see if this was something I could do with the script. I downloaded it and opened the script in a text editor, and the only thing making the script a trial was a line that said, license expires equals seven days. I changed that line of code to eight days from now, and I tried to run the script in our software, and I got the notification that said the free trial it ended. So I changed it back and set the expiration date to 2050. This took

my manual job of one hour and made it only three-5 minutes. All I had to do was specify a date range, check off what reports I wanted printed, and click start. That was it. I always manually reviewed everything just in case. But that wasn't all. We had a kitchen where we made breakfast and dinner for the guests. Evening shift got free dinner and morning shift got free breakfast. As someone on the night shift, I didn't get anything. They eventually decided to have the auditor set up breakfast

so the kitchen crew didn't have to come in so early. I asked if we got free breakfast and I was told no, despite setting up everything to make their jobs easier. I should also note that we had to clean any dishes left from dinner that the kitchen didn't get to, despite not even getting any dinner. But still, I had the kitchen to myself for 6 hours. So, I started just making dinner for myself around 1 a.m. whatever I wanted.

The only limits were the ingredients in the kitchen, and since I was responsible for dishes from other shifts, I never left any evidence behind. I no longer had to buy food to bring to work. I later realized that I could put dirty dishes back in the return bin since it was covered, and the breakfast crew never checked to see if there were any dirty dishes in it. I still always cleaned up the dishes I used to make myself food, though, out of fairness. So now, my job no longer requires me to do dishes. I get free food, and all I have to do is remember the date and click a button to do my actual job. And what did I do with all this free time? I watched so many shows. I played online games on my laptop, I started learning Spanish. The general manager did say that he didn't care how I did my job, just that I did it.

So I did. I did eventually decide to move away for a much better job and I had to give up the comfy life. I trained my replacement on the way that I do things, including the script, and I did not teach him the manual way. Before I left, I decided to change a trial date to one week out. Two days after my last day, the front desk manager texted me and told me the other auditor was just fired for making races from Mark's to a guest, and the guest recorded him, so he was fired once the GM got in. He asked if I could come back until they got someone else and they said they would pay me 15 bucks an hour. Unfortunately I was leaving in two days so there was no way. I got a call from the general manager at

about 5 a.m. on the day of the expiration and he asked about this free trial thing and why wasn't the new guy trained on how to do the audit properly. I reminded him that he told me he didn't care how I did my job, just do it, so I did exactly that. I could tell that he wanted to yell, but he held back. He then demanded that I come back and fix it, or he would have to take legal action. I told him I was already at my new place 2,000 miles away, but I would happily do it for airfare, a free room, free meals while I'm there, and $10,000. That was when he lost it and hung up. He texted me after saying he contacted his lawyers

and that I screwed up and prepared to face the consequences. That was five years ago, and I haven't heard anything from him since. I did eventually go back to that town a few months ago to see my mom, and I ran into the front desk manager from that place who's a really nice guy. He told me that the general manager was caught passionately hugging the hit housekeeper in his office by his wife one day. She later divorced him. The 19 year old girl working the front desk in the mornings later filed

sexual harassment charges against him and he resigned after that. Apparently, the general manager was also a coach for a baseball team and he hit a kid with a metal bat, breaking the kid's arm and he got his face caved in by the dad. I'm not sure what happened to him after that. The front desk manager now runs the place and as the new general manager, he's made sure that he, his assistant and the front desk manager are all trained to do an audit. Our next creditdit post is from the devil and Mr. Jones. So this happened when I was younger, but I remember it well, as does my entire family who saw it. We went to a zoo, probably a six-flag zoo, maybe the San Diego Zoo, it doesn't matter. But there was a lion show and my family went.

There was a big, bold yellow yellow line and a big sign said, Do not sit past the yellow line. So my family followed the rules. But there was His other woman who will call Karen. She was the only one to sit in front of the yellow line. A zookeeper came by and said, Ma'am, would you like to move behind the yellow line and the Karen goes, No, I found my spot. This is my spot. The zookeeper goes okay and leaves are there. So the show starts and the lion and the lion keepers come out and they see the Karen sitting past the yellow line. The showrunner says a phrase to a lion points at the lady and the lion shoots a stream of piss at the lady. She runs out of the show, coated in urine,

and the entire crowd laughs, and the show goes on without an issue. I'm not sure if this goes here, but it's a story that my family talks about every once in a while. And OP Ed's in an edit that apparently the yellow line was designated as the splash zone. Luckily, I've never been peed on by a lion or a tiger or a puma or a jaguar, anything like that. But I have to assume that a great cat urine sounds just as bad as a domestic house cat urine, except, you know, there'd be gallons of it instead of like a little tinkle, and cat urine is one of the most atrocious smells I've ever come across. It's just so like ammonia e. I don't know the word for it ammonia

So my guess is that ladies clothes her skin and her car smelled like cat piss for weeks afterwards Like have you ever had a piece of clothing that a cat peed on you have to just throw it out because getting the smell out is so difficult Today's podcast is sponsored by better help my podcast platform has this neat little graph that shows me my listener demographics, so I can see that most of my viewers are male. That's why I'm thrilled that BetterHelp is sponsoring today's episode, because mental health among men is honestly a real problem. This statistic is crazy to me. Men make up 38% of talking therapy referrals, yet 78% of suicides are males. That means that the

people who need the help the most are getting the least amount of help. Also, 6 million men per year suffer from depression, and most of these cases are undiagnosed. That's why I recommend BetterHelp. That's BetterHELP. BetterHelp will match you to a licensed professional therapist who can help you address your mental health needs. Better help is not a crisis line or self-help. It's professional therapy done securely online. I've got a special offer for our slash listeners. Get 10% off your first month at betterhelp.com slash slash. That's the symbol slash followed by the word slash. Our next reddit post is from Arby Clark.

A friend of mine and a semiconductor manufacturing company was one of the hot shot marketing and application engineers. On his own, he put together a series of seminars to show prospective customers the benefits of using a bunch of the company's integrated circuits in their designs. He went on to make short half-hour videos that could be viewed online. The company signed a contract with them that stated these videos were his property. His company was acquired by a mega-corp, and their legal people evidently signed off in his contract as well. Q. Malicious Compliance

My friend was a big man, 6'2", 230 pounds, and in his late 50s. He also had a condition that cost a considerable amount of joint pain. His job required him to fly at least once a month, but because of the frequency, he could upgrade to business class or better, and the extra room helped him with a pain of traveling. My friend used a company's airline card for all travel, and his new 30-something-year-old manager decided that the company owned all of his frequent flyer miles and he couldn't use them to upgrade. Things got rather heated and the manager wouldn't back down. So the company offered early retirement to certain people over 59 years old who had been with them for more than next years. My friend took the offer, got a bonus, and two days before his last

day on the job, he deleted all the videos he made. He gave them a copy of the contract, reminding them they were his property. He also stated that the company couldn't restore them from backups and used them. Several months later, he ended up getting a contract job for that same company, introduced his videos online, and answered questions afterward. I'm sure he was very happy with this arrangement. No travel, no boss to hassle him, and a nice jack-to-boot. Our next reddit post is from El Baramolo. This happened yesterday as I was returning home from a two week trip to Germany. The final leg of the flight departed from Paris, where I had this lovely interaction with the security agents. Going through airport security, I know the drill,

belts off, jack it off, take the laptop out of my bag, etc. So I submit 4 trays to the X-ray machine. One with my carry on, one with my laptop by itself, one with my belt watch and jacket, and one with my personal items, think like a fanny pack. I'm randomly selected for further screening. I have a Lebanese last name and a beard. I'm always randomly selected for further screening. During this, the agent berates me for putting all of my electronics together.

I've point out that I took my laptop out of the bag, as per a standard procedure, and the agent screams at me that that's not enough. Every single electronic device from my carry-on and put each of them in an individual tray, and I'm being sent to the back of the line to do so. Here comes the malicious compliance. There are two things that these French security guards were not aware of. The first thing is that I'm a videographer by trade,

and I was in Europe to cover an event with video footage and interviews. The second thing is that air France changed my flight time, so my two hour layover became a 10 hour layover, which I'm not particularly happy about. So I'm being sent back to the end of the line and I have to submit each electronic item individually. Sure, no complaints for me. Two camera bodies, one drone, one GoPro, four lenses, nine batteries, and two

lavalier microphones later, there is no more space on the treadmill. Behind me, people are complaining they're going to miss my flight because I'm taking so long. But there's nothing I can do, I'm just following the orders I received. And at this point, I've only unpacked my photography vest and fanny pack. The treadmill starts moving and some space clears up for me to put on additional trays. And that's when I open up my carry-on bag. Again, I'm in Europe for work, so I didn't bring any nice clothes or shoes. All of my personal effects are in the checked-in luggage. My carry-on is filled exclusively with electronics.

I still have four microphones, two recorders, lights, additional lenses, battery chargers, video monitors, audio monitors, drone controllers, etc. Once I open my carry-on, it's very clear for anyone with an eyesight that I'm not even one-third of the way done. One electronic portray? Sure thing. I'll just occupy this entire checkpoint by myself then. The people behind me in line are literally jumping and screaming about missing their flights to the point that security agents have to leave their posts to control the line. Someone in a non-uniform suit appears and talks to the agent who sent me to the back of the line. That's when the unthinkable happened. The agent came to

me and said there would be no need for me to continue separating my electronics, and could I just submit my entire carry-on bag as a single item and they'd examine it further if necessary? I said, are you sure? Because it's no bother at all, I can keep unpacking here all day long. They insist that it's not necessary, but by this point I have over 20 trays occupying the treadmill. I go through the metal detector and spend some minutes recovering and repacking everything. Based on the amount of fuming passengers, I like to think that I contributed to Charles de Gaulle Airport reviewing their stance on X-Ring individual electronics.

Our next Reddit post is from John. In the summer of 2007, I was working in New York City and living in an apartment across the Severin Wee Hawking. One morning, I got a call while I was at work. My apartment was on fire. The fire started on the floor above mine and my floor, and most of my belongings were heavily damaged. A few days later, I called the cable company to cancel my floor and most of my belongings were heavily damaged. A few days later I called the cable company to cancel service and they demanded that we

return their equipment. I was like, uh, my apartment had a fire, that equipment is toast. They insisted they would keep billing me until I provided proof the equipment had perished. So I showed up at the local office with the remnants of the equipment, which still reaked of smoke and dumped them on the counter. They agreed to cancel my service. Down in the comments, we had this story from Finnegan's pants. This reminds me of a telephone conversation I had with the city employee the morning

after my garage burned down. She demanded I pay them $500 to pay for their garbage bin, which had also been destroyed, stating that our garage caught fire and burned there been. I told her the cause of the fire had yet to be determined, and that perhaps there been caught fire and burned my garage. She hung up, and I never heard from them again. Not malicious compliance, but I felt pretty good about it nonetheless. Wait, hold on.

$500 for a garbage bin? What's? That was our Sashmolicious Compliance. And if you like this content, be sure to follow my podcast because I put out a new Reddit podcast episodes every single day.