rSlash - r/Maliciouscompliance Kick You in the Nuts? If You Say So!

Episode Date: May 1, 2023

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on the same points vet app. The platform that gives you everything you need. You know what to do bet on it. Point Spets Sportsbook and Casino Welcome to our slash malicious compliance where OP kicks a guy in the balls. Our next Reddit post is from Princess of Peas me. One day in 10th grade in the early 90s, I was just standing around with classmates and friends as 10th graders tend to do.

Some of the guys began joking about being kicked in the balls. One of the guys said that it never happened to him, so naturally the other guys called him a liar and began teasing him. Because 10th graders often lack a reasonable sense of caution, the teased guys started asking the girls to kick him in the jewels. One by one, the other girls said no and pushed him away. Now, a little about me. I was not like the other girls at my school.

I came from a bad home that appeared to be amazing. I had long ago stopped caring and I was already a straight shooter. So the guy gets to me and asks me to kick him in the balls. I ask him if he was serious. He stated that he was. I asked him, are you sure? And he said that he was. I asked him to ask me specifically for what he wanted me to do. He did, including the fact that he wanted it to be a hard kick. Again, I asked, are you sure? After making sure that everyone else heard that, I told him to get ready. With one swift kick, I made hard contact. Exactly where and how

we asked for it. He didn't so much scream, but his eyes did roll back and he fell over throwing up. Everyone went insane! The other guys flinched hard, and another of the guys actually threw up. I won't say that I regretted doing it, but I will say that I felt a little bad for his response. Eventually, he got up. I asked if he was alright. He nodded and squeaked out that he was okay and went to sit down. A few days later, he was sitting outside and waved me over.

He said that he doesn't hold anything against me because he literally asked for it. Then he asked me out, but I still had a boyfriend so I turned him down. In hindsight, many years later, I think that could have been one hell of a how I met your mother type story. He ended up marrying a lovely lady and having a family, so thankfully I didn't break his balls. The top comment from Capered is, I'm surprised the guy still had the nerve to ask you out after that.

Talk about having balls. Our next Reddit post is from 321 Backup. Back in high school, I was all about my car. Tell get me wrong, it was a rolling piece of garbage, but it was MY car. It had a trade-in value of like $5, but it was MY car. It had a trade-in value of like $5, but it was MY car. I was learning how to take care of it, by which I mean I found where the dipstick was and how to pull it out. I hadn't yet moved on to tire inflation.

One step at a time, one day after school I drove over to my friends place. We jump out, pop the hood, pull the dipstick, check the oil, and it was fine so we put the hood back down. I had no idea what an H-O-A was or what it meant. I was just a happy, ignorant teenager, eager to demonstrate how responsible I was with my new wheels. A few days go by and we're hanging out at my friends place when my friends mom comes home. She starts giving us the business in that I'm annoyed but trying not to be

voice about a warning she received from the HWA regarding repairing cars in your driveway, complete with a photo of my piece of garbage car with the hood up. Really, she was being pretty cool about it, though clearly annoyed. We explained that we weren't repairing anything, that I was just checking the oil level and I didn't even need any tools. She softened quite a bit, and the focus of her annoying shifted from us to the HOA, since it's entirely reasonable for anyone to check their oil levels in a car. She finds her copy of the HOA rules and we all read them together. Sure enough, there's a bylaw that says that you can't repair a car in the driveway.

I protest that I wasn't repairing anything. I was just checking the oil. Reading the exact rules on exactly what was forbidden sparked an idea. I look at my friend, raise an eyebrow and say, fight the power. He says, fight the power. I propose my plan to his mom and I ask for her permission since she's going to have to deal with the fallout. She's on board because she thinks this is supremely stupid, so we said it in motion.

Cue the malicious compliance. Every day after school, my friend and I drove our POS machines to his place. Parked in their driveway, raised the the hood and just looked at the engines. No tools, we weren't even near them. We didn't check the oil, we didn't so much just touch them, nor wipe them down with a rack. All we did was expose them to the birds, the sky, and got above just to let them breathe. After a while, I got bored of this, so I started setting up an easel and drawing my engine

10 minutes at a time. My friend had to one up me, so he decided that he needed some tasteful artistic photos with his engine. He thought the best photos would be him laying over the engine shirtless, stroking and fake kissing it. Just absurd, over-the-top, moronic high schooler stuff. Predictably, the H-O-A was on to us like stink on shit. The warnings quickly turned into fines, complete with pictures of both vehicles with their

hoods up. Then, more pictures with my car with its hood up and an easel in front. Then even more pictures with my friends car with its hood up with him laying on the engine compartment and me taking pictures of him with a camera. Soon enough, his mom let us know that it was time for the monthly HOA meeting. Of course, all three of us had to go in person to protest the fines.

So the three of us show up with his mom carrying the stack of fine notices. I bring along my engine painting and we printed some of my friend's Buu Duar engine photos larger than normal. After a while, it was time for new business and my friend's BuuDuAr engine photos larger than normal. After a while, it was time for new business, and my friend's mom steps up. I'm pretty sure they expected her to play the... My son and his friend are morons.

Please make these finds go away since I didn't know what they were doing, sympathy card. But nope, not a chance. She politely, but firmly attested that she was being sent finds for something that wasn't in the bylaws, and she asked the board to stop. One of the board members spoke up saying that working on cars was against the bylaws, and clearly that's what was going on since both hoods were up. Oh, you should have seen their faces when she corrected them that there were no repairs going on since in these pictures no tools were visible and that instead we were just doing art projects

for school. They looked even more upset when she showed them my truthfully completely terrible drawing of my engine, along with the pictures of my friend trying to seduce his engine. The HOA president called for a five minute recess, during which the board huddled in a corner of the room. After the recess, the president succinctly said, man, we're going to dismiss all your fines. Have a nice evening. We damn near dance out of that meeting. Being the obnoxious shitheads that my friend and I were, we had to do the drawing slash photo routine a few more times just to make sure they weren't going to start sending more fines. They wisely

didn't, and being victorious, we soon found other ways to annoy them. Also, OP, I thought your mom was going to hit him back with, and I don't know who's taking photos of my son while he's shirtless, but this needs to stop right now or I'm calling the cops. Tis the season for making memories with family and friends, so celebrate with Swiss shirtless, but this needs to stop right now or I'm calling the cops. really worth sharing. The festive special only at SWISH LA. Visit swishla.ca for contest details while supplies last. Inside Mario's all you can eat is all you can munch a soup, salad, and garlic homemob. Mom, me, I'm gonna move out of here! Our next Reddit post is from Corby. I used to work for a temp agency. We specialize in

labor and construction work, but really, if I had noticed, I could recruit for any type of work. We had customers who often needed workers with different skills and tickets, and some customers were just downright misogynistic. One customer called later in the morning and said that he needed two workers, and he would only accept men. I explained that, due to timing, I didn't have many workers available at short notice, but I have two women available that were very seasoned and strong with a great work ethic. He declined. So I sent them the other two men I had in the office, who were two of the laziest workers I had, hence why they weren't already dispatched. The customer called me at the end of the day and said that he needed two workers again

tomorrow, but not these two because they were horrible. I again offered the two ladies and said that they had been praised for their previous work. He begrudgingly agreed. The next day he called and said they were some of the best workers he'd ever had. They ended up working for him for three months and he eventually hired them. Our next Reddit post is from Gold Carpenter, a little disclaimer. My daughter is a wonderful kid. She's smart, but she's also a smart-ass. A couple of years ago, coronavirus had just started and my daughter

was roughly 8 years old. She was really into Salami pizza. I wouldn't allow her to have more than one a week, obviously. Now, at some point, I had told my daughter that you have to try a certain food seven times before you can really decide if you like it or not. She apparently misunderstood me and somehow got it in her head that other kids are able to eat the same thing every day, seven days a week. So she said, other kids get to eat everything they want seven times a week. That's why they like it. But I understood her wish. Salami pizza every day. My daughter had this malicious grin on her face. I answered with

the same grin. Okay, you'll get Salami pizza the next week. Only Salami pizza, nothing else. She was hyped. Yay, all that pizza, her favorite type too. Monday morning rolls around and she gets Salami pizza for breakfast. Fantastic, I'm the best parent ever.

Monday lunch is leftover Salami pizza from the morning. Monday evening, time for the second pizza. I make enough for the rest of the family too. Everyone enjoys Salami pizza. Fine. Tuesday morning and guess what's for breakfast? Exactly. My daughter asked for something else. I remind her of my promise. Salami pizza all day, every day for a week. Yay! Tuesday noon for lunch, she skips the pizza. On Tuesday evening, the rest of the family is having something else while my daughter choose on her pizza. It isn't as cool anymore, I guess, so I eat her leftover pizza. Wednesday morning, she sneaks a slice of bread, but I stop her and heat up a slice of

salami pizza. She breaks down and asks me to stop. Lesson learned, don't try to outsmart your parents because you might get exactly what you're asking for. Since then, she still loves salami pizza, but once a month is fine. Really, down in the comments, we have this story from Luke Orlando. My grandfather, a professional chef and restaurant owner

made this same promise to my dad, who said that he wants spaghetti and meatballs for every meal. Well, over a week later, my grandfather finally broke down because my dad really effing love spaghetti and meatballs. And beneath that, this story from computer. One of my friends mentioned how in college, they would have something like pasta with tomato

sauce and cheese for one week, pizza the next week, lasagna the third week, and then go back to pasta. I said, but those are the same ingredients. And he said, yeah, but they were different forms of food. Yeah, I'm actually kind of in the camp of these last two stories of people who can eat the same thing every single day, non-stop. There is a brand of cereal that, honest to God, I have eaten every single morning for like 10 years.

And a lot of the times, if I'm not eating lunch or dinner, I'll just eat that exact same bowl of cereal for lunch and or dinner. I could really probably eat that bowl of cereal for breakfast lunch and dinner, 7 days a week, and be pretty happy with it. Obviously I can do it my entire life, 365 days of that, nothing but the same bowl of cereal every day. That's a bit much, but like 7 days, yeah I could do that no problem, I'd be pretty happy about it to be honest. The cereal, by the way, is Nature's Path Organic Pumpkin Seed Plus Flux Cornola from Costco,

and it is the Nectar of the Gods! Our next red-apposis from Jay the Meme King. Insurance companies are not your friends, and we'll do everything they can to save money, including not paying for your medically necessary services. There's a lot of news coming out about insurance companies using algorithms to deny claims and doctors signing off on them. Before algorithms, they would have minimum wage employees reading over these claims for the doctors instead.

That was my job. I was 19 years old, working for insurance companies denying claims. I was the person doctors would call when they thought that the insurance company should pay for medicine or service. For some reason, 19 year old me, with no medical experience, was allowed to tell these doctors that services weren't needed medically. This job was the easiest, yet most miserable job experience I've ever had. I was only able to last a few months there.

During my last two weeks, I was really slacking off. I was just so burned out. I couldn't stand denying yet another case where someone needed medications and the insurance company didn't want to pay for them. I was reprimanded for not working hard enough and getting the case processed. Insert malicious compliance. I worked faster than I ever had before. That's because I approved every single case that came before me. Every doctor I spoke to, I just gave them approval. Everything was approved. During my first week, I did this once and I was told not to do it again because I have

to follow company guidelines. But by this point, I just didn't care. I was probably able to approve like 50 cases before I quit. I hope it made a difference to those people. F Health Insurance Companies. That was our Sashmolicious Compliance and if you like this content be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day. And if you like this content, be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new Reddit

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