rSlash - r/Maliciouscompliance Late Employees Will Be MURDERED

Episode Date: September 8, 2023

0:00 Intro 0:09 Late punishment 4:49 Ginger candy 7:42 Chocolate laxative 8:09 The printer 14:17 Point made Visit BetterHelp.com/RSLASH today to get 10% off your first month Go to HelloFresh.com/50rslash and use code 50rslash for 50% off plus free shipping! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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on the same points vet app. The platform that gives you everything you need. You know what to do bet on it. Point Spets Sportsbook and Casino Welcome to our slash malicious compliance where the penalty for being late to your job is execution. Our next reddit post is from actual miss. So I'm working for a low-level corporation with about 450 employees.

I've been there for five years and I've risen to the top of my department's productivity levels. I mentioned this because it does pertain to the story. Management had a policy that late-comers would be penalized, but that lateness could be excused under certain circumstances. I was good at my job, and I actually loved doing it, so I was more or less a dream employee. I always showed up to work 20 to 30 minutes early because I like to sit in the lunchroom and prepare for my day.

Management knew that I was almost always early, so if I was late from time to time, which was rare, they'd let it slide as there was always a valid reason. Now, some of the other employees didn't get this level of flexibility. Chronically late employees would get written up and not have their constant lightness excused. They'd complain, of course, but management was firm. Our company was an actual meritocracy where more productive employees would experience preferential treatment. Then, the company gets sold and we get new management.

An international corporation was only interested in buying us up, stripping us down and selling off the company. Of course, they denied this constantly, but the fact that over the next two years, they stripped us down and sold off the company proved they were lying. New management comes in and makes a bunch of idiotic changes. One of those changes is that no reasons

for being late were accepted, regardless of whether the excuse was valid. Anyone 5 minutes late for work would be written up. So at the team meeting where this was explained, I asked, so if someone is 5 minutes late and someone else is 3 hours late, the punishment is the same, they actually said yes. From that day on, I stopped coming in early. I still started working at my usual time, but I sat in my local coffee shop instead of my work's lunchroom. This meant that my work missed out, because in the past, I would often

help out by answering questions, even start work early if needed. I mean, I love my job, and the old management were actually wonderful bosses. No more of that under the new management. In fact, if something happened and I was going to end up a few minutes late, I'd just say eff it. If being 3 hours late was the same punishment as being 5 minutes late, I just decided to come in later. I'd call work to tell them that I was delayed, then go out and have a leisurely meal in a restaurant, or run some personal errands, go shopping, even see a movie, etc.

Depending on my mood and how awful the new management had been lately, what would have been like a 7 minute late-ness on my part would now be like a 3 hour late-ness. Sure, it cost me a few bucks, but I made almost as much money in bonuses as I did in my hourly salary, So missing out on a few hours here and there didn't really bother me that much. I would come in three or four hours late and my new bosses would be fuming. There was nothing they could do but write me up for a basic tardy, same as they would if I was five minutes late. Okay, so down in the comments, people are talking about how this happened on a much more epic scale in ancient history.

There was an event in 208 BC called the Chin-Shing and Wu-Gwang uprising. So what happened was these two armies were ordered to travel north to defend this other location. However, while the two armies were traveling north, they had to stop halfway because of a severe rainstorm. At the time, the government that these two armies were fighting for had this super, super strict law that said that anyone who showed up late for government jobs would be executed regardless of the nature of that delay. So, if they did what they were supposed to do and showed up to defend the border, then they would have been executed for being late?

But if the penalty for being late is execution and the penalty for rebelling is also execution, everyone was just like, okay, why don't we just rebelle? At least then we have a fighting chance. So then the two marching armies just teamed up and organized the rebelling against the government because that was their best shot of not getting executed. Okay, there's another story where a prison warden like the penalty for allowing prisoners to escape was death, but also the penalty from escaping from prison is death. So when a couple of prisoners escaped this warden's jail, the warden was like, hey, I'll just join you guys. Man, that's so funny.

What's the penalty for screwing up at my job? We kill you. Okay, what's the penalty if I take up arms and try to kill you? We kill you. Okay, well then, I guess I'll just try to kill you first. Yo, what doofas came up with these laws? Our next reddit post is from LadybugGal. Since there's only a week left of summer,

I decided to take my kids to the local amusement slash water park today. As I've gotten older, the rides have gotten a little tougher on me. In addition, my daughter tends to get motion sick rather easily. I don't like the way motion sickness pills make me feel. So, I always take along a ziplock baggy full of ginger candy to prevent and soothe nausea. This time, I had chewy mango ginger candies, hard plain ginger candies, and hard lemon ginger candies. For those who have never had

ginger candy, it is spicy! The lemon ginger is probably the mildest. The plain ginger is just plain hot. The mango ginger is sweet and spicy, but they also stick to your teeth like crazy. They are definitely unenquired taste. As we're standing in line for the log ride, I pull out my baggie. I choose a lemon one, as does my son who's 13. My daughter, who's 12, asks for the mango one. While I'm fishing out of mango candy, I hear the seven-year-old kid in front of us tell his mom that he wants some candy. His mom distractedly says that she doesn't have any candy, so the boy says, but she does. The boy turns to me and asks for one.

I tell him, I don't really think that he would like my candy. By this time, the boy's mom has focus in on the interaction. As the kid starts to whine that, of course he'd like my candy. His mom just huffs and says, you've got a whole baggy, can't you give him just one? Come on, don't be greedy." I say, all right, and dig out a lemon one. I'm not completely heartless. That's when the kid winds that he wants the mango one. I tell him that the lemon one is better, but he insists on the mango. I warn him that it's kind of sticky as I hand it over. The kid rips open the

candy packaging and shoves the candy in his mouth. The kid gets in three quick chews while my kids stare at him. Then he actually starts to taste the ginger and a look of horror comes over his face. He screams and tries to spit it out. He's jumping around and flapping his arms. The mom is panicking, asking what's wrong. He's screaming that it's bad and it's hot and I want it out of my mouth." His mom tells him to spit it out. That's when I pipe up with a very helpful. It's really sticky. What's left is probably stuck in his teeth.

He'll have to wait for it to melt off if he doesn't want to chew. The mom looks at me in disbelief, and I just shrug. Then she asked me what the hell I gave her son. He probably should've asked that sooner, lady. I answer, shinger candy, it's good for nausea. I'm pretty sure I'd be dead if looks could kill. We got to move up in line two spaces, though, because she whist her kid off to a water fountain. I'd like to think that kids would think twice about demanding things from strangers.

Plus, it was entertaining. Overall, the kids and I counted it as a win. Down in the comments, we had this story from punk Linux. My mother used to teach junior high decades ago, and she tells a story of some kid who stole chocolate candy from some teacher's purse. Only it wasn't candy, but a very chocolatey laxative. The kid had several pantaloon blowouts before an ambulance was called.

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Our next reddit post is from Actual Miss. I used to be in charge of the printer room in a rather large company. We shipped a ton of product every day, and everything shipped had to have the accompanying printed label and documents. Nothing can be loaded onto the trucks without this paperwork. Now this was in the olden days of the 90s, so we had 7 massive, 4-foot tall, dot matrix printers that did all the work.

These printers were temperamental bastards, and if the paper jammed the printer didn't automatically stop printing, he would just keep pushing and jamming more and more paper into the machine until if left untended it would break down. Running this printer room was a two person job. When I started I trained for two full weeks with a two current printer room employees. One was being promoted, I was replacing him. It was a rough effing two weeks, let me tell you. One thing that made it even more complicated was the fact that each printer had its own

personality with its own problems. Another was the fact that a problem in one printer could have a different fix than the exact same problem in another printer. A job would run smoothly for 45 minutes straight, during which we did routine maintenance and such. But when jobs went well, it was really slow, quiet, and restful. Our company processed shipping orders in batches, once an hour. And then, oh boy, on the hour, every hour, the batch of orders would go through and thousands and thousands of orders would go through and thousands and thousands

of orders would come spitting out. Now if you were on top of things and kept everything running smoothly, the orders would print out very neatly and quickly. But if you didn't know what you were doing, if you didn't maintain things just right, you'd get a backup and things would go downhill very, very fast. And when one machine went down, you had to fix it fast before the next one jammed, because guarantee those machines would jam up multiple times on every batch print job. So I've been working in the print room for several months, and things were great.

Then my coworker gave his two weeks notice. We tried to train a replacement, but he was incredibly lazy and got fired justly a few days after the end of his training. This left me in the printer room alone. Then the bosses told me that my position was being phased out, and I'm going to be replaced by two employees transferred from a different department. So not only am I losing my job, but I have to train my replacements. I desperately needed a good recommendation from this company, so I couldn't just quit

or do the job half-heartedly. I quickly learned that both of these transfers are lazy and useless. They'd been with the company for decades, head friends in the head office, and knew their jobs were safe. I'd show them how to do something, and they would just flat out laugh and say, yeah, I'm not doing that. Every day I tried to train them and they would just ignore me, chat with each other, or leave to go sit in the cafeteria. They left me to do a two person job alone. Luckily, I was good enough to handle the workload, but it was annoying.

Mindful of the fact that I needed a reference from this company, I kept extensive notes on each day's progress. I clearly documented every single instance of the replacement workers refusing to learn, or even to listen to my instructions. I followed up daily with my direct supervisor, and he knew it was going on. All of my notes went into the company files and were passed up the line. Despite my scathing reports, the head office did nothing. Eventually, it was my last day. This was the day that I was supposed to let the newbies work alone with no help or supervision allowed, just to see how well they'd handle the job and the pressure. I was in writing forbidden to help them or answer any questions. As I expected, things fell apart pretty much immediately,

minutes into the first batch of orders. One of the biggest printers jammed, and the clueless morons had no idea how to fix the printer jam, because, you know, they ignored me every time I showed them how to fix it before. So they turned to me and demand that I fix the printer. I'm sitting on a desk, coffee in one hand, an apple in the other, smile and say, yeah,

I'm not doing that. So at this point, one of them is yelling at me while the other is basically thumping uselessly on the printer like a gorilla that just found a candy machine. Then a second printer jams. Paper starts spilling out of the back of the first printer, which if you knew these printers was a really, really, really bad warning sign. I said, well, I'm going to go to the cafeteria. Good luck!

And stand up. As I'm leaving, I hear a third printer crunch and jam up. I went to my supervisor and let him know what was happening. He said that he not only expected as much, he had repeatedly warned his superiors about this happening. He once again specifically forbade me from offering any help. So I went to the cafeteria and read my book for a little over an hour. Then my supervisor comes to me to let me know what happened. The entire printer room is down. Every single printer either jammed up or was actually broken.

The company is losing thousands of dollars every single minute. One of the delivery supervisors finds me all in a panic begging me to get the orders printed. Sorry, I'm not allowed to do that, I replied. Now several people are running around outside the cafeteria all in a panic, running from place to place to figure out why they don't have any shipping orders. The chaos took hours to resolve. And of course, I wasn't allowed to fix the problems. Anytime someone started giving me a hard time, my supervisor would intervene and show the memo from the bosses stating that I was forbidden to help in the printer room that day.

I spent my entire last day at work, drinking coffee, chatting with coworkers, and reading my book. The whole fiasco ended up costing the company tens of thousands of dollars. Man, the two lazy coworkers getting angry at OP is so funny. What are you gonna do? Fire me? It's my last day! Our next reddit post is from Tarang. I'm a high school teacher of an elective subject that lots of kids take and enjoy. I build great relationships and generally have the same kids for

multiple years, so I get all the tea spilled to me. There was an incident during an after-school event. I was in one area doing my thing and some students who had been in another part of the building came in and said, Mr. OP, there are people passionately hugging in the other room. I follow them to the scene of the crime, and there's nobody there. I do all the appropriate follow-up to see if anything actually went down, but nobody, no crime. And no one actually saw anything either. They just said they saw the couple come out of the room, and it smelled like sex when

they went in afterwards. Fast forward like four months, and the principal calls me down to their office. The principal proceeds to chew me out for not reporting the incident, because this has finally made its way through the rumor mill up to the top. I tell the principal all the steps that I took to follow up at the time, and that it doesn't seem like there was anything to report. And besides, the room didn't smell like hanky-panky to me, so it didn't occur to me to tell anyone else about it.

I rhetorically asked the principal, so where is the line on what unverified evidence-free rumors I should be reporting, and the principal responded, all of them. Q Malicious Compliance I proceed to call and email the principal after every single conversation I have with a kid that could be even remotely construed as problematic. We're talking a minimum of three times a day, usually more for three weeks straight, including weekends.

The most satisfying part was on our Friday afternoon at about 4.45, the principal picks up the phone and before I can say a word they say, okay Mr. OP, you've made your point. That was our Sashmalicious Compliance, and if you like this content be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day. be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day.