rSlash - r/Maliciouscompliance Moron Messes with the Wrong Soldier!

Episode Date: November 20, 2022

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Our next reddit post is from Call My Name or Walk On Buy. This was 10 years ago in Iraq at Camp Spiker. I was part of an air crew that flew mission-critical nighttime flights. I wasn't a pilot, but I flew in a support role in the backseat. We were lucky enough to have our own little private rooms. With an air conditioner in each room and blackened out windows, it was easy to sleep all day, then wake up at 1600 or700 hours and head to work. We had big signs on our doors saying,

day sleeper, do not disturb, come back after 1,700 hours. One day, the contractor in charge of safety and maintenance of these rooms decided they had to inspect the smoke alarms and fire extinguishers in every room. It's a reasonable request. My boss gave the contractors a list of rooms to not disturb until after 1700 hours.

Of course, they ignored the list, and we were all awakened to workers banging on our doors and letting themselves in. Just doing my job, sir? However, air crews are required by civil and military law to have adequate crew rest. It's more than, hey, get some sleep. It's a strict number of hours before flying that should be undisturbed. If there's an accident, it can become a very big deal, legally. If it's later revealed that the pilot or air crew wasn't given a chance to properly rest. As inefficient as the military can sometimes be, it's amazing what a single, well-placed phone call can do.

My boss shamelessly canceled the evening's flights and called Colonel Hiddhahn Show to tell him why. We never saw those contractors again. They avoided us like the plague. So apparently this is like a really common issue because down in the comments we had this story from Gadgetman. Back when I served in the Royal Norwegian Air Force, the officer who showed us around pointed out a building with blacked out windows and told us that anyone even considering playing

a prank on those sleeping inside could just hit over to the admin building and request a transfer to base maintenance. So I take that to mean that if you mess with a sleeping pilot, then you're on a toilet scrubbing duty. Our next reddit postage from Redditor. My first job when I was a teenager was as a dishwasher in a coffee shop that was just open for one month in my seaside town. The owners had just left their other job with a bit of cash and they set up this place thinking it'd be easy money while they retired. The problem, of course, was that they didn't want to work in it, but also didn't want a higher-end experience manager to run it, either.

As you can assume, problems ensued from the get-go, my malicious compliance was late in the summer. My job was to clear and clean all the tables, wash and dry all the dishes, and make sure the floor was spotless. The problem, of course, was that that takes at least two people on a calm day, never mind busy weekends in the midst of summer holidays. And since the boss didn't work there, he assumed that I could just do it all myself. Now I didn't have any frame of reference for how hard a job should actually be, so for the entire summer I had been busting my butt doing all this and barely making it work. I had adopted so many shortcuts that the dishwasher never actually got used because the

breezes were telling me to hand wash stuff because they needed it immediately. The problem was, we literally didn't have enough cups to have a full dishwasher while also having enough cups to serve customers. So that meant that most of the time, I was in the kitchen scrubbing, barely having enough time to run out and lift up dirty trays, but still, I managed to do both.

Looking back now, I actually had to physically run around the cafe at times to make it all work. Of course, the boss would walk in randomly during the day and I would get told off for the floor being dirty or a tray being on the table, whatever. It didn't matter if the tray had been there for 10 seconds, still it was my fault. Now I had dealt with all of this so far, sucked it up and just pushed on thinking that I must have just been slow. That was until the busiest day of the year when we had a show in town. The place was packed and the town was so busy

that people didn't even mind standing because there were no seats to have a drink. The boss got called in because we were swamped. We had no cups, a long line of angry customers, and people sitting at dirty tables. When he walks in, he immediately points at every table with an empty cup on it and says there's no cutlery, only to further add that the floor is a disgrace. I quickly run out to clean the front and I ask him to cover the dish washing for a minute. I had been stuck hand washing dishes just so the braces had something to put coffee in. He's appalled at the idea of washing dishes himself, but he complies. It's only when I get back there

that I see that he's obviously never worked back here before. He actually spent the entire time that I'm on the floor just packing a handful of dishes into a dishwasher tray. I freak out and ask him to help move stuff so I can set the new tray down. Then he flips it on me and acts shocked that I can't just hold dishes as I'm washing them and then like juggle them through my hands and wash one dish and hold the other dishes. Parent mind that I have a tray of maybe 8 cups, tea pots, ice cream cones, etc. Eventually he clears a space for me. But by then, the barista start asking for cups. I start handwashing one cup to hand over to him, and he scowls

at me. He says, everything must go through the dishwasher. Then he walks off to mingle at the front house again. Alright mate, if you want it that way, then you can have it that way. I start packing up the dishwasher and try to organize the stacks of trays. Not two minutes go by before Fort Bereastis starts screaming for cups and teapots. I just have to tell them about the boss's new rules. At this point, the boss flies into the back, whips open the dishwasher, and tells me to start hand washing everything again. I start hand washing,

and he immediately follows with, there are tables out there with dishes on them. I had been pretty frightened of the boss until now, but having seen him start to lose his cool a little, it dawned on me that I was being overworked, and the guy didn't even know it yet. So, instead of trying to make a point or arguing, I realized that the best way to let him know this is by showing him. I left to get a full tray from out front. It took a while to stack a few table trays together, and while I was doing that, he was sweating in the back following the baristas cleaning orders, hand-doing dishes as they were needed. Of course, when I get back, there is once again nowhere to put the

trays, and he's now scallowing at everyone as if we constructed the building ourselves. And when I say there was nowhere to put the trays, I'm including the floor because there were already trays stacked on the floor. He immediately runs back to the front of the house. I then have to start cleaning cutlery, and anyone who's worked in a restaurant or cafe knows the bane that is cutlery. I'm nearly done scrubbing cutlery clean when the boss reappears, and without looking, pours coffee and tea onto my clean cutlery in the sink. At this point, I can see that he's defeated. Now, he understands how precious my time is and he knows that by doing that he just screwed me over. His eyes are wide with this aura of f**king. He walks back

out, still holding the now-empty mugs and leaves me to start the cutlery anew. Maybe a minute goes by when he walks back in and just asks me to tell him, how do I do my job? Oh my god, finally! As I washed dishes, I talked to him, telling him all the little tricks and tips for making sure stuff is still moving out to the front. I can tell from his face that he's finally starting to understand how this place actually works because he genuinely didn't know. I can see somewhere in his head, he's just now realized how he must have been treating myself and the other younger staff members all summer at this point. He's sort of

looking a bit broken. 15 minutes into working at his own cafe, and he's broken. For the rest of the shift, he had his wife come down and the three of us worked the full shift to close. At the end of the day, he actually apologized for making me work like that. And he said that, from then on, he would always have extra staff to accommodate busy shifts. I actually went to work for him every summer after that until I left college. I actually really appreciated his reaction to that day. And I always did a little bit more than I needed to, and in return, he always paid me a little better for the extra work.

So whenever I read a Reddit story, I have to kind of be on the lookout for obviously fake stories, but come on OP, you think we're supposed to believe this, a manager who actually learn from his mistakes? Get outta here with this bullsh**! Our next Reddit post is from Intrepid She. I got my first grown-up job while I was finishing my bachelor's degree. I was just getting started in a highly technical and emerging field. Very few people back then were doing this kind of work, and I seemed to have an aptitude

for it, which is probably why I got the job before I had any credentials. The department that I was hired for was brand new, and had the potential to take customers from other departments while also generating net new business. Interestingly, the other departments in the company had been offered the opportunity to start the service themselves, but they refused, even actively trying to prevent it from happening. That's the reason that I ended up in a malicious compliance situation. The leaders of all the other departments conspired to prevent me from getting an office. I didn't understand it first, because at that age, I didn't imagine professionals did petty, immature things.

When I realized what was happening, I knew they would get exposed if I went along with it. So, I happily did my job wherever I could find a place, which often ended up being in the mail room where lots of people would notice. I hoped that maybe the leaders would start to feel guilty or annoyed and change their minds, or they'd be caught by their bosses. Either way, that would solve their problem without me having to fight it. Little did I know how well it would go. I started to be well liked by a lot of the leaders because I helped them with their computers. But there was this one

leader who still inexplicably hated me. I never spoke to him, not even a word, but he continued to insist that I didn't need an office. According to him, I wasn't even at the level of a secretary, which I took to be a dig at me not having a degree. I heard about him saying that from a friend who was in the meeting when they talked about changing their minds. It's too bad for them that they didn't change their minds because the president came through the mailroom multiple times and finally stopped clearly annoyed.

Why don't you work in your office, he asked me. That was my golden moment. I had been politely complying with not having an office, so I sweetly told the company president, I don't have an office. What? Why not? There's no room or space available. According to whom? Mr. Guy who doesn't like me. But you've been working here for, what, three months? They could have found a space for you by now. Oh, the president was a big fan of yours. Mr. Guy Who doesn't like me, but you've been working here for what? Three months? They could have found a space for you by now.

Oh, the president was beat red with anger at that point. I just smiled and said, my understanding is that there was no space. The president literally stomped upstairs to the office of the guy who hated me. I distinctly heard him yelling from downstairs. People outside probably heard it. The president came and brought me upstairs to the conference room where the leaders were all seated and looking down.

There was a pile of keys on the table. I was afraid at that point. Was the president having me pick someone's office to take? While that might have been sweet revenge, it wouldn't have been good for my working relationship with any of them. But no, the president handed me a key to the conference room and said, this is your office. The president scooped up the rest of the keys, which I learned later where all the copies of the key to the conference room and said, your office is the largest office on campus, even bigger than mine, enjoy, and walked out.

That was probably the best drop the mic moment that I've seen in my entire life, and the story ends with my compliance not only winning me that office, but all the other leaders, except for Mr. Hades My Guts becoming great colleagues with me. Our next reddit post is from Supermunkfish. I was working at a betting shop, a pretty large one that anyone from the UK has probably heard of. We were open from 8 a.m. to 10 p.m. One big rule was that mobile phones had to be turned off during work hours.

No ifs, hands, or butts. Queue the morning of the Epsom Derby, a big horse racing event, and the start of my 12 hour shift. During setup, we had a problem with our internet. The Tills, betting machines, and internal phone lines were all connected by the internet, meaning until it was fixed, we could literally not take anyone's money. About three hours had gone by and nothing had improved, and I had no way of letting anyone know because my phone had to be off. At about 5pm, we eventually had the internet back.

Not long after, I got a call from my area manager asking me why there was no money taken. I told him, and after a lot of huffs and puffs, he hung up. I was just following the rules. Maybe about 20 minutes later, I get another phone call from that manager, asking if I could take pictures of the marketing screens to make sure they eloted correctly and then send the pictures to him. No, I can't. Sorry, my phone needs to be off. He had to make a three hour drive to the shop to check the screens himself. Our next Reddit post is from Sparrow Hawk.

So this story isn't mine, but it was done to my dear sister. My sister buys these little fish to feed my brother-in-law's pet fish. She goes to the pet store and says that she would like 70 of the little guys. So, the fish net goes into the tank and dumps all the fish into the bag. Well, my sister looks at the bag and goes, that's not 70. So, the employee looks at my sister and goes, okay, and then dumps a little guys back into the tank. Then proceeds to initiate the malicious compliance. One fish in the net, one in the bag. Grabbs another fish in the net, now two in the bag.

Another customer shows up and looks puzzled because the employee is now on fish number seven. Yeah, he gives my sister a look and says, is he for real? My sister could do nothing but shrug and say, yes, knowing that this was all on her. My sister gets exactly 70 fish. She looks at the bag and bows her head, defeated

because she now realizes the first bag had more than 70 fish. She wasted her time, the employees time, and those of the other customers waiting for help. On the way out, the manager sees my sister clearly disturbed and asked her what was wrong. She just told the manager that she was in a hurry to get home. No complaint was made. She told us that she knew that she messed up, but she couldn't complain about it either. The employee of the pet store is my hero.

The top comment from Calcoline is, lady, I get paid hourly, I will gladly count your fish. That was our slash malicious compliance, and if you like this content, be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day. Welcome to our Slash malicious compliance, where someone messes with the wrong group of soldiers.