rSlash - r/Maliciouscompliance My Boss Fired Me, Then BEGGED Me To Save His Company!

Episode Date: October 3, 2020

r/Maliciouscompliance Everybody on earth has dreamed about getting revenge against their terrible boss. In today's story, OP gets that opportunity after his boss fires him. What OP's boss doesn't know is that OP is the only person in the company who knows how to access the files the company needs to meet state compliance requirements. Meaning without OP, the company is in violation of the law. OP's boss comes back on his knees begging OP to save the company, and OP agrees... but only after he gets a 2000% pay increase! 🔔 Subscribe: https://bit.ly/2E3A8i6 💬 Discord: https://discord.gg/VD6eYD3 🎧 Podcast: https://link.chtbl.com/rslash ⚓ Send me a voice message: https://anchor.fm/rslash 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/rslashyt/ ♪ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@rslash0 🛒 Merch: http://bit.ly/rSlashMerch 🎁 Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/rslash Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Enjoy the classic taste of the holidays at Tim's with the new non-alcoholic Bailey's flavored holiday menu. Whether you're hanging holiday lights or driving up to your folks, you can enjoy your Tim's and Bailey's anytime, anywhere at participating restaurants in Canada. Welcome to R-Slash, a podcast where I read the best post-traumatic cross-reddit. Today's subreddit is R-Slash malicious compliance. Our next reddit post is from XC. My work environment is less of an environment and more so a conglomeration of duct tape, spit, and cussing. I managed, among many things, a set of rentals, accounts receivable, and customer database analysis. Another important bit that I handled were various legal documents that the state required meticulous processes to be followed, and the state allows for a digital or physical paper trail.

I opted for digital. Now, my boss kindly provided me a Pentium Ford dual-core computer that he found at a bargain warehouse for about 40 bucks. I had the most sophisticated workstation in the business for context. This computer wasn't quite strong enough for database management and analytical software to boot up. Much less process of data set, so I called up our IT guy, who worked for the boss's friend's sister-in-law's business. 200 miles away. I go, hey Tim, I need to add my personal laptop to the company network. Can you make this happen?

Sure, I'll be down to that location in a week or two. Can it wait? Sounds perfect, Tim. So, Tim shows up. We get the boss to rubber stand that this is all okay, and I have remote access to the servers and some annoying corporate mandated securities on my laptop, which no big deal, they stay out of the way. We didn't have anything like a software policy either. I think some computers had office

2007 installed, but that's clunky and makes data transfer complicated. It's the 20 teams, there's no need for that. I do all of my work on a Google Drive account tied to my work email. This is great because I can hot swap my workstation to wherever the boss wants me today. Sometimes he likes to pretend I'm a secretary and throws me in his office. Sometimes he thinks I'm a technician and puts me at a station with no computer. Whatever, data is transient. Anyways, things have been tense recently. I've moved almost all of my job to digital, and the boss thinks that means I don't work anymore. Obviously, an office monkey with

no papers is an office monkey with not enough work. Now, he wasn't exactly wrong, I had been automating things, and was doing the job of about six people. So how exactly can I do the job of six people without the boss knowing? Easy. He likes to manage by the seat of his pants. One day, he fired a maintenance person and just rolled that job into the receptionist, driver, and technician jobs. One day, he decided that the sales team could handle marketing. Surely buying a single $2,000 camera is cheaper than having a professional do shoots each week. Besides, Gorilla handycam sales pitches are in vogue.

It'll be great. After two years of shuffling, I had accumulated a large amount of jobs. Many of them tedious, and with the right tools made by me at home on my personal laptop that happens to be able to connect to the network. A good four hour job can be completed with about 10 minutes of sorting and parsing data. So the time comes.

We all know it's coming. One of the suits tip me off that the particular suit whose payroll is wasted on chumps like me had proposition the boss that a pair of receptionists can do the work that I do for cheaper. Just hire some college kids, work from each 18 hours a week, it'll be grand. Knowing that, I backed up everything to my personal Google Drive account. But, of course, didn't delete anything from the company-owned one. Like I said, the state has a vested interest in these processes, and I knew in my heart of hearts that the company couldn't be trusted to maintain records.

I didn't want to be on the hook for that in six years, so I kept a copy. I figured it would go smoothly. I'm called to the big office for a meeting. There's too many suits. My supervisor gives me some side eye. It's not a surprise. I carefully make sure to click log out of all locations on my Google account and tuck my laptop into my car before hitting upstairs. The meeting starts with the boss saying, well kiddo, yeah he calls me kiddo. Since I'm not 60 years old I'm obviously a child. Well kiddo, I'm sad to say that I was wrong, I shouldn't have hired you, you're fired.

Well that was blunt and rude. So I stand up, extend my hand across the table, and prepare to thank him for the last few years. Not so fast, sit down. We have a few things to discuss. Uh, what's? I sit down for a moment and breathe shock. My adrenaline starts to pump,

and my fingertips are cold. My boss begins to tell me all the things they need for me. Contacts, account statuses, explanations of discrepancies on AR accounts, documentation for state's interests, all things that, as his competent employee, I could have printed and had sitting on his desk in moments. I decided to comply with his earlier wishes and said that I'm fired. Where I live, either of us can stop the employment situation for any reason. He had legally fired me. I counter him.

Well, boss, I don't feel particularly comfortable accessing your network since I'm not an employee. He exploded! Think of Karen, a millionaire Karen with little brother syndrome who wants to be John Wayne, but looks a bit too much like Smokey the Bear's fat cousin to get the role. His explosion was violent. Spit everywhere. I'll save you the details of how he stalked me to my car and demanded the employees' former barrier. He called me a few times. They went to voicemails I drove to a public Wi-Fi hotspot. I carefully removed my laptop from their network. I drove home and unpacked my work lunch.

My phone hasn't stopped ringing. He probably had a receptionist being paid minimum wage to hit the redial button. Eventually, I answer a call from his cell phone. He makes some demands. I very flippantly offer to come to work for him at 10 times my rate. He yells some more.

An hour later, he's pounding on my door. I don't want to deal with that, I know he carries a loaded pistol in his car. Again, he thinks he's a cowboy, emphasis on the boy. The cops escort him away and I email a copy of my security footage to the responding officer. He thinks me. The company doesn't flounder, of course. Boss Man is a millionaire and has been very carefully losing tens of thousand dollars a year while operating his business. He may have lost some more in the interim, but that's not my concern. My concern is collecting my unemployment. And wouldn't you know, I was fired a few days before fall college class selection begins. I decided to take a few master level classes. I've had my BA for a while. I just will get some more schooling on the boss's dime.

Classes go well, and I coast through spring semester by tapping into a bit of savings. And wouldn't you know it? The pandemic happens, and my unemployment benefits are extended. Guess I'll take some summer classes too. And those extended benefits were at three times the base employment rate.

G Wiz, I guess I can take a full set of fall classes too. And then my state extends unemployment for another 3 months at double the base. I have winner sessions sign update marked on my calendar. The bossman calls me this morning. Being coy, I thank him for firing me without cause a year ago and let him know that I made the deans list last semester. He tells me to f off, he had called me to take me up on my deal, he'll hire me at 5 times my original rate to give him some information.

I remind him, wasn't the deal 10 times my rate? If you, 5 times is too much and I only need you for an afternoon. Well, I've been thinking about it, my unemployment benefits run out in a week or two, so I'll do it. I'll contract for you, but I want 20 times what I was making. 40 hours minimum paid in advance. Oh, and written scope of work. I'm only doing the work you say you need done during negotiations. If you, I'll give you five times in a day of work, and that's final.

No thanks, boss. I have to get back to classes you're paying for. If you give you five times in a day of work and that's final. No thanks boss. I have to get back to classes you're paying for. Thanks again. These side marios all you can eat? Is all you can munch a soup? Salad. And garlic homemove.

Long live! And I move on up in! Hi I'm Pete Davidson and if you're like most people you may be asking yourself, well hey Pete are you here to up my hydration game? And I'd be like, hey you, that's exactly right, with new smart water alkaline with antioxidant. And you'd be like, okay cool, but there's no way there's a higher pH, right? And I'd be like, there actually is! And you'd be like, that's rad, I hope there's electrolytes for taste too, and I'd be like, you're not going to believe this!

Elevate how you hydrate and keep it smart with smart water alkaline. I hang up. He calls back an hour later. Just moments before I started writing this, actually, it's his daughter, the comptroller of the company. She says she spoke to my boss and he wants to hire me at 20 times my rate for 40 hours of work, have paid

up front. Actually, it was a 100% up front, not half. Fine, she started telling me what needs to be done. Turns out, they're failing a state audit quite badly. Like, boss is not a millionaire if this isn't fixed kind of badly. They have all the information they need, of course. It's on my company email accounts Google Drive. I'm not about to tell them this. Once he pays me for half a year's work, I'll gladly spend the hour or so of time and take his transfer all the data he needs to a flash drive.

Wait until Monday of next week and then hand it to his receptionist. Really, the man couldn't have been nicer. He's already covered me going to college full time for over a year and is about to cover another two semesters. I should buy him a cake. So let me get this straight. This guy fired the one person who was in charge of making sure that the company was paying

their taxes. And shortly after firing that one person, they get audited by the government. Forget the boss not being a millionaire anymore, screwing around like that can get you in jail. OP, you were doing your boss a favor for coming in at 20 times your normal pay. Our next reddit post is from Raging Red Blue. I was a bartender and a fancy restaurant in a snotty town. The restaurant was run by a snotty, affected, rude manager. The time clock was right inside the door used by

the employees, and the courtroom was in a small room across the restaurant from the employee entrance. It took maybe 20 seconds to get there and hang up your code. Everyone would walk in, clock in, and then put our codes away. I had just clocked in and was walking to the courtroom, removing my code as I went. The rude manager grabbed me and in a very loud and rude tone said, stop, go back and clock out, put your coat away, then clock in. Okay, sure dude. The thing is, I used to stop on the way in and buy the newspapers for the bar, no big deal. Of course it was off the clock, but not anymore.

From then on, I would drive straight to work without stopping for the papers. I would get in, put my coat away, walk back across the restaurant and clock in, then go back to the courtroom and put my coat back on, leave, and buy the newspapers for the bar, then go back and put my coat away all on the clock. In order to save the restaurant 20 seconds per day on the time clock, the rude manager ended up costing them more than an hour per week extra. I got more money, he got no more polite. The restaurant went out of business a few months later.

Opie, if this gets you excited, just wait until you find out about getting paid to poop on the job. Back before I was a YouTuber and I had an office job, I used to calculate how much money my company was paying me to poop on the clock each month. It was pointless, petty, and satisfying. Our next Reddit post is from Franny Seska. My friend told me this story, and it was just too good not to share. So the town we live in has lots of good old fashioned British pubs, and then there's one that's a pub during the week and then turns into a club on the weekends. Since it's the only place open past midnight, it tends to attract a lot of drunk dickheads.

My friend was working one night with two other bar staff. One other guy and a girl who I've been told was pretty attractive. It was about 11.55 p.m. and a guy walks up to the bar. My friend wasn't serving anyone at the time, it goes to take his order. No thanks made. I'll wait for her. My friend tried to explain that she was serving customers at the other end of the bar and that he would be the only one to take his order. No, I am only getting served by her. No one else. Sure mate, no problem. My friend then waits for a colleague to finish serving her existing customer.

By the time she's done, it's around 11.57 pm. So my friend turns to her and says, Hey, you've only got three minutes left of your shift, so you might as well leave now. We've got you covered. So she leaves. My friend and the other guy working both refuse to serve him for the rest of the night, as per his request. So this guy won't be satisfying his thirst by any definition

of the word. Our next reddit poses from army and pea sides. When I was a senior back in high school in middle Tennessee, we had a smoking area for the students. This was 1990, so yeah, I'm old. My daughter's actually just asked me to post a story here. Anyways, so I was a good student and I had a great reputation among the faculty at this school of about 2,000 students. During class, I'm running an errand for a teacher when I walk by the smoking area. It's outside, of course, but it's against one of the buildings and has a roof over like a carport. There's a large metal trash can in the middle and it is on fire. Not a rip-roaring fire, but it's on fire nonetheless. I see flames starting to work

their way out of the can, and there's plenty of smoke. I decide I don't need to pull a fire alarm, but clearly I need to get a staff member to put this fire out. There's no one around, so I make a fast trot up to the main office. As I quickly enter, I see the secretary talking to another student. So, with a loud voice, I say, Miss Knight, Miss Knight, there's a- And that's when the assistant principal rounds the corner behind Miss Knight while ripping into me about how we wait our turn in here, and how I'm being disrespectful and loud, and I need to stand there and wait until I'm called forward.

Okay. And then I just stood there while Miss Knight kept helping the other student as Mr. Evil Principal stood overwatching the corner like a bouncer. Finally, after a few minutes it was my turn. I calmly walked up to the counter and said, Mrs. Knight, the large trash can in the smoking areas on fire. The assistant principle yells out, what? And then bursts out of the room while Mrs. Knight just gasped. I calmly turned around and walked out and went back to class. And down in the comments we have this story from scissors. The year was 1975 and I was in fifth grade science lab working with Cobalt Chloride. There were poison warnings all over the container, but one of my group stirs the solution and

pops the straw into her mouth. I calmly said, get that out of your mouth, it's poison. The chick freaks and starts bawling and the teacher jerks me up by the arm, takes me outside the door and gives me a paddling. Next year I'm messing around, waiting on my youth league basketball game, when I made a serious miscalculation and broke my wrist.

Very visibly, I went to the concession stand where the director is taking orders. Mis-kay, excuse me. Wait your turn like everyone else. I waited. 10-15 minutes pass and my hand is sitting on top of my arm and swelling by the minutes. I silently try to get her attention, she looks away, pointedly ignoring me. Finally it starts dying down and she's doing a quick cleanup.

I'm not even sure how long it's doing a quick cleanup. I'm not even sure how long it's been by now, but I'm feeling nauseated and light-headed. I call out for her again, and she barks something implying I'm being rude again. And I just matter of factly hold up my arm and say, I think I broke my wrist. She snapped too, and finally got serious. That was our slash malicious compliance, and if you like this podcast, then check out my Patreon where I publish extra podcast episodes. Also, be sure to follow me because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day.