rSlash - r/Maliciouscompliance My Sister Thinks She's a DOG

Episode Date: June 11, 2023

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sister thinks that she's a dog. Our next reddit posted from that ogolo. My sister was obsessed with 101 Dalmatians and decided that from the moment the film finished, she was only going to eat like a dog. When I say that she ate like a dog, I don't only mean that she lapped up her food with her tongue, but also that she would not use any tables or cutlery. And she would only eat off the floor, couch, or anywhere else the dog felt appropriate eating.

My mom spent days convincing her that this was a terrible idea, telling her that she should eat at the table with the rest of the family. Eventually, my mom got sick of this and made a plan. If my sister wanted to eat like a dog, then she was really going to eat like a dog, and I'm sure you can see where this is going. My mom decided that my sister was now only going to be fed dog food for every meal. Until she figured out that being a dog wasn't all it cracked up to be. And, and to my sister's credit, she really managed to hold out for a lot longer

than I expected for an eight-year-old. She held out for a solid day and a half before she decided that she couldn't do it anymore. Anyway, her favorite movie is a lad now. Our next reddit post is from Universal Binary. This happened in elementary school when I was in about 4th grade. Our class had been complaining about our projects and art. The art teacher was going over painting and drawing, and we were getting bored and begging to do something else. Okay, he says, we'll do some other stuff. After that, we had about two months of pottery, carving sculptures out of bars of soap, all sorts of fun stuff. While we'd work on our projects, the teacher always told us stories.

Some true, some not, but his favorite kind were ghost stories. Eventually, he realized that stories about ghosts in the school were the scariest. Pretty soon, he started telling made-up stories about the ghosts that lived in the school. Over the course of the following weeks, while we shaped our pottery and did our carvings, the stories grew to include sightings of the ghost in the school's basement. The basement was really a cellar, perfectly safe, but the floor was usually a bit damp. It was dusty and dingy. We only ever went there for tornado drills.

Eventually, he started telling us that he saw the ghost down there. Then he started saying that the ghost was even there during the day. He said all of this to intrigue, and perhaps scare us fourth graders. Pretty soon, the classmates were demanding to go down to the basement to see the ghost. He'd say, no, no, no, it's too scary. Then people became more demanding. Finally, he said, do you want to see a ghost in the basement? Yeah! Are you sure? Yes! It's pretty scary. Let us see! You'll scream. No, we won't!

Okay, okay. Have it your way. But don't say I didn't warn you. The boys in the class were all bragging about how they weren't scared. The girls were all huddled with their friends. Finally, the day arrived. He said, Now, this is going to be scary.

It's okay to scream, but don't try to run. I don't want anyone to fall down there, okay? The class gives nervous laughs and nods. Does anyone want to stay up in the classroom instead of going down? No one raised hands, but there were some apprehensive looks. We all went down to the basement, and everything was normal. Then our teacher suddenly switched off the lights, and that's when we saw a ghost shimmering in the distance with its eerily human-like face peering at us. There were screams from both boys and girls. It was loud.

Then he switched the light back on, and we heard the teacher laughing loudly. After some badgering, he pointed to the large white towel hanging from a pipe at the far end of the basement, gently waving in the breeze. Is this where you saw the ghost? Yes! Was it glowing? Yes! Did you know that you can buy paint that glows in the dark? Cue the predictable responses from the fourth graders, and demands for him to show us how he did it and to let us try. It didn't dawn on me until yesterday when I told this story to my kids a couple of decades after it happened

that this whole thing was a two month wind up on the teacher's part. Because after we saw the ghost, of course we demanded to know how he did it. We demanded to try all the glow in the dark pain ourselves and did. We got a lesson on using paint that you can't see very well. We learned about unusual mediums, including cotton towels. We then went back to painting in class, with demands through the teacher to try all sorts of kinds of paint and painting, which was probably his plan all along. I'm sure he covered everything in his lesson plan that year, just slightly out of order, and with much more enthusiastic kids.

We were had, and with much more enthusiastic kids. We were had, and good. Beneath that, we have a similar story from Yarthkin. That's a clever teacher. I had a teacher in 2nd grade who had lined up finger painting for art class one day, and the whole class was complaining that finger painting was for babies, and also complaining that all the paints were weird colors. This teacher was a little eccentric, but we usually had a good time during art class.

Anyways, we all grumble and start finger painting. Everyone is going along, and then I get a nudge from my neighbor. I look up, and my classmate is looking over at the teacher, so I look too. And the teacher is looking finger paint off her fingers. My classmate and I look at each other, and then look too. And the teacher is looking finger paint off her fingers. My classmate and I look at each other and then look again. More students are starting to notice. I mean, this teacher is weird,

but eating paint, the teacher waits until we're all looking and eats some more, but doesn't say anything. Finally, one kid tentatively puts a finger in his mouth and then laughs. Turns out the teacher made all different kinds of jello pudding and that is what we were using for paint. Another clever teacher showing us not to take the world at face value. I don't know how interesting the story is, but my mom used to be a teacher for, I think, middle school. And her trick that she would use to engage students is she was a math teacher.

And whenever she had a math equation before the class started, she would go to the bathroom and take soap and write the answer in her arm and soap. And then like, you know, start class as normal and halfway through class be like, you know, what's two plus two as a stupid example. And then she would take pencil shavings and rub them on her arm and of course the pencil shavings would stick to the soap and it would read out 4 and they could be like oh my god Mrs. Garden how do you do that? So I think the moral of the story to take away from all these stories is that kids are stupid.

Our next reddit post is from bygemony. I used to work for a small locally owned supermarket chain with a small level of bureaucracy and a high focus on getting stuff sold. After a few years, we were taken over by a national chain. They introduced more bureaucracy, so emails and phone calls from the bottom going up would be lost to the ether and left unanswered. Their focus was highly on image, with staff at the head office who seemingly worked to ensure that similar-sized products sat next to each other on each shelf so that everything looked nice. They also changed the shop manager's incentives. Their bonuses were the operating budget of their store, minus wages, expenses, and written off stock. So obviously, we were now operating on a

shoestring budget so the manager got as much money as they could. Before the takeover, we had an award-winning butcher department that worked with local farmers and catered to customer requests. The new firm immediately closed the counter and filled chillers full of pre-packed sliced meats instead, which we frequently had to discount to prevent throwing them away. One time, we received a dozen cases of a high-end cut of meat, way more than we would usually stock of an affordable packet, and therefore at risk of running past its sell-by date and being thrown out. It was a new product and we didn't have a price label for it.

After waiting a weekend for the system to update, I emailed the head office for a label and filled the chiller, using a pricing gun left over from the takeover to label up each individual packet. We sold a few by the time I came back in the following week, but I was pulled aside by management. The area manager had been in to inspect the shop, and he was, quote, horrified by the ugly labels. And he demanded they be taken off the shelves

until a label was ready. I explained the issue but they wouldn't have it. So I took them down as instructed and left them in the big fridge at the back of the store. They sat there for a month until they expired, after which someone else had to throw them away. A few days later someone at the head office noticed an enormous increase in wastage and reported it. Down the chain it came, and a red-faced area manager storms in to shout at a stern-faced store manager, who in turn calls me over to drop everything and get to

his office. I was just waiting for the label, I told them both, as they searched for a scapegoat for the $3,000 in wasted product. Oh well, I only get paid by the hour so I don't care. Metro links and cross links are reminding everyone to be careful as Eglinton Cross Town LRT train testing is in progress. Please be alert, as trains can pass at any time on the tracks. Remember to follow all traffic signals. Be careful along our tracks,

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live blackjack on the same points bet app. The platform that gives you everything you need. You know what to do. Bet on it. Point-spec sportsbook and casino. Our next reddit post is from Tiptoe Only. This is a story that my father-in-law told me about my mother-in-law, who had money but was notoriously cheap with it.

Dinner at her place could be a bit of an ordeal. Food was always the cheapest available. The portions were so tiny, you'd be hungrier when you finished them before you started. And she would do things like buy a super cheap party platter and serve each person one item as a main dish. She also watered down sauces, soups, and drinks mercilessly. One year, the extended family was getting together as usual for Christmas dinner at my mother-in-law's place. This comprised several nuclear family groups, each of which traditionally provided one course, and this year it was mother-in-law's turn to provide the wine.

When my mother-in-law sent my father-in-law to the kitchen to fetch the wine, all he could see was a single bottle of the cheapest substance you could possibly call wine. It had a plain white label with no text other than, value sweet dessert wine and the supermarket's logo. My father-in-law said that he wouldn't even have risk cooking with the stuff. Even if it were higher quality, sweet dessert wine would probably not have been a pleasant accompaniment for the main course. Fortunately, my father-in-law had a trick up his sleeve.

Returning to the dining room, he asked my mother-in-law as discreetly as he could if she didn't have anything a bit nicer for Christmas dinner. Her response was, no, I prefer this, it's my favorite, you like it just fine. So, my father-in-law went back and opened my mother-in-law's awful, awful cheap dessert wine, and also a bottle of really nice wine that he brought with him, which he'd hid behind his back when he poured my mother-in-law's glass of plonk. When she saw the other bottle, she started yelling that she wanted that instead, but all he said in response was, you said that you preferred this one, so I made sure that you got your favorite. What's the problem here?

Everyone else enjoyed the really nice wine. Down in the comments we have this post from KSXC. I know someone like this. She would always bring the cheapest six pack of beer, then drink all of our more expensive beer or spirits. And when we asked her why she would get the cheap beer when she could easily afford better stuff, she said that she loved it. So when she had a barbecue and we all showed up with six pack of the cheap beer, she was beyond

furious. But she said that she loved it right. Our next reddit posted from Shannoman. I just showed up at a house to do a routine delivery and setup. I knocked on the door and a boy about six years old with an absolutely sour look on his face open to the door looks at us and says, go away! His mom is behind him coming down the stairs. I give her a quick wink and say, okay, we're leaving then. We'll take your bounce house to the birthday party down the street instead. Q instant regret and the mom is apologizing for the bratty birthday boy. He was much more

agreeable once the bounce house was deployed and reluctantly apologized. Also, down in the comments, we have this story from Lucretius. About 15 years ago, I had a 16 year old intern. Now, I worked as a laboratory scientist at the time, and this kid was a child prodigy. Frankly, the only true super genius I've ever known. I cue off the charts as close to a perfect memory as I've ever encountered, able to speed read and integrate texts instantly, an unbelievably smart kid. But unsurprisingly, he was arrogant

as only a hyper-talented 16-year-old can be. He had no patience for anyone who couldn't keep up with him, which was unfortunate because that includes 99% of the planet. One day, he forgot to bring his badge. Now, a badge was necessary for going through just about any door in the facility, but these things happen. So, I walked him down to the security office to get him a temporary badge for the day. Then he was rude to the security guards. I immediately apologized to them and dragged him by his ear out of their office. Then I proceeded to lay the full authority figure guilt trip on this kid, told him that

it was conduct unbecoming of a scientist that he had embarrassed me, that I was disappointed. Finally, and this is what sank into his head. This is the point that reached him. I pointed out that people like secretaries and waiters and security guards are, and forever will be in a position to abjectly ruin his life by doing nothing but following the rules. And all he has to do to insulate himself from them doing so is to treat them like the human beings they are. Also, politeness costs nothing. Honestly, I think that hammering that basic social idea into his head might have been

the most useful training I provided him in the whole internship. Our next reddit post is from Kaylee sometimes. My two kids are in a stage of telling on each other for everything. And today, I got to serve up some malicious compliance because of it. The house rule is that they're not allowed to watch TV while eating meals. This morning, kid number 2 decided that she wanted her breakfast while kid number 1 was still watching a show. So I get kid number 2's breakfast and she sat down at the kitchen table to eat

it. Technically, the TV is still visible from the kitchen table, so this is a bit of a great area. But I was gonna let it go, however. Hey, kid number 2 is watching TV while she eats. She's not allowed to do that. It's okay. She's sitting at the kitchen table like I asked her to. Yeah, but she can see the TV from there. That's not fair. You know, you have a point. Turn the TV off.

You'll have to watch your show later. Wait, what? The TV went off. And I got to drink my coffee without having to listen to an episode of Pokemon in the background. That was our slash malicious compliance. And if you like this content, be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day.

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