rSlash - r/Maliciouscompliance Stupid Karen Lost $500,000

Episode Date: July 14, 2022

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Welcome to our slash malicious compliance where a cocky investor loses almost half a million dollars. Today's episode is brought to you by Manscaped, the global brand for men's grooming and hygiene products. When I record our slash episodes, I do it in an airtight sound booth, so trust me when I say that I really don't want to be stinky. Imagine farting in an airtight box. Yeah, not pleasant. So, that's why I'm happy to be sponsored by Manscaped, which specializes in caring for a guy's stinkiest regions, your pits, your butt, and your balls. Yep, that's right, they've got ball deodorant, cause who wants stinky balls? Not you, and certainly not your partner, either.

Their performance package 4.0 comes with a bunch of stuff. Body wash, shampoo and conditioner, the aforementioned deodorant and ball toner, as well as a nose trimmer and hair trimmer for keeping your lower regions under control. Order now and you can get a travel bag and underwear thrown in for free. Go to manscape.com today and get 20% off plus free international shipping plus two free gifts when you use the promo code R-slashit checkout. Our next reddit post is from DodoHead, so I'll start by saying that this story isn't mine,

it's my parents next door neighbor of 20 years. Background, my parents and their neighbors bought their homes in an up and coming part of Florida 20 years ago. We're talking half acre lots with 2500 square foot homes for like $130,000. Our neighbor's home was a little smaller than my parents' home and had no pool. Over the past 20 years, the only thing they had done to the house was install a new roof. Nothing else had been changed. Everything was still the original. Appliances, paint, AC unit, cabinets, tile, and carpets. I wish I could say that

the neighbor took care of the house and that nothing needed to be updated, but that wasn't the case, because our neighbor's house looks 20 years old. Well, the neighbor is a widow, and the house is huge for just her, so she decided to sell the house and take advantage of the market. She listed the house for $400,000. Despite her never having put a penny into it, the house goes into a bidding war and the top bidder is an investor from California. The investor offers to pay $30,000 over asking, pay the closing cost and they can do it the same day. Q. Milicious Compliance The investor woman has two stipulations. One, our

neighbor takes the house off the market immediately. And two, the neighbor turns over the key to the investor's management company, with the cash for the home held in escrow until the key was turned over and our neighbor's side of the paperwork was done. Now our neighbor was up front with this woman about the state of her home and she asked if she wanted to have her management company come look at the home first. The woman says, no, I'm renting the house so it doesn't need to be painted, just pull it off the markets. This investor essentially bought the home for about $450,000 when it was all said and

done. So our neighbor immediately goes to the management company's office with a realtor, signs her paperwork, hands over the key and gets the check for the home. A few days later, our neighbor gets a call from the investor lady. She's upset the house is in disarray. It needs a paint job ASAP, new appliances and flooring at the least. She demands that our neighbor paint the house. She won't take ownership of the home until it's done.

To which our neighbor responds to her. It's not my home anymore. It was signed over to you, and that check you handed to me has cleared. That house is no longer my problem. Enjoy! This story all came about because yesterday my parents called our old neighbor. There was a for sale sign on the house again, and we were confused. Our old neighbor. There was a for sale sign on the house again and we were confused. Our old neighbor promptly showed up to tell us a story and we were all laughing hysterically because the investor had re-listed the house for $430,000, which no one's gonna pay because the house is ancient and even if she did sell it for that amount, it's gonna lose a ton of money. Who doesn't love a story when greedy investors trying to inflate the market lose and lose big?

Our next reddit post is from Vampire Wolf. Back in 2000, I was working at a Royal Burger place almost full-time while in high school. I'd work from 5 to 10 pm during the weekday, and then 12 to 7 pm on the weekends. On Friday and Saturday, I worked as maintenance, but the rest of the time I was in the kitchen, primarily as the one feeding burgers and buns through the broiler and then into the steamer. The standard practice around there was that as soon as the supper rushed started, we'd lose four people that went out back to smoke, including the shift manager, leaving three of us scrambling for 15 minutes.

I complained and I was told, there's a smoke break allowed every hour. Nothing says that it has to be at a fixed time. So first off, I went out back to have a break with the smokers for five minutes and I was told by that same shift manager that this break was only for smokers and not a general break.

Find by me. Time for malicious compliance. On my very next shift, I walked out with him a supper rush was starting and I lit one up. All of a sudden, she's screaming at me to get back inside and get the burgers in the broiler. I say, sorry, but I get a smoke break every hour and they can be any time in that hour like you told me.

Or are we all going back in? All of a sudden we have a new rule posted in the break room, only two smokers outside at any given time and not between 5 to 7 pm. A single pack of smokes was lasting me 3 to 4 weeks and I only smoked at work when I wanted a 5 minute break for the remainder of my time there. That same shift manager gave me a dirty look every time I walked back to take a break, every time that we worked together after that. Our next reddit post is from Uncle Coyote. 18 years ago I was over at my dad's house and I needed a wrench. And coming from a long line of mechanics, I knew that he

had one available, so I asked a borrow one. That of course said yes, handed me the mechanics toolbox, and just out of habit I opened it, and immediately noticed that a craftsman 716 ratchet and wrench was missing. Again, I come from a long line of mechanics, and every tool has its place, be it in a drawer, box, or outlined on a pegboard, and I thought that it was weird that Dad had lost a wrench. You're missing a 716, I pointed out showing him the missing slot. Now Dad, being Dad, just had to bust on me a bit. So looking me dead in the eyes and beaming a huge smile he responded, it was there when I gave it to you.

Mind you, I hadn't left the kitchen. I hadn't so much as shifted my feet. I knew he was lying. He knew he was lying, but it had been ingrained in me since childhood that losing a tool is a death sentence. Now, I knew that he was busting my balls so I let it go. But from that day forward, anytime we we needed something he'd make a comment like, I sure wish I had that 716th wrench at OP lost, or you know what would fix this, that missing 716th wrench. This went on for months, so one day he made the usual tease me for losing a tool comment and I warned him. I looked him in the eyes and said, say it one more time, old man,

and you're gonna get that range every birthday, Father's Day, and Christmas for the rest of your natural life. A few hours past, I asked him to hand me a tool and he said, I can't, you lost it, remember? I laughed and played it off, but it was on. And that was 18 years ago. Today, being Father's Day, he just received his 50 second Craftsman ratchet in 716th wrench. Since that day, he's tried telling me that

he knows that I didn't lose it. But I knew that already, that I don't need to buy it. Oh, I effing do. And he's occasionally tried to say that it was a different size or item to get a different present, but we both know that's not happening. They are everywhere. Every coffee can, junk drawer, cabinet, toolbox, pegboard, or spare nail in the house and garage contains a craftsman 716 ratchet and wrench. You know how they say that you're never more than 8 feet from a spider? Well, in Dad's world, you're never more than 8 feet from a craftsman 716 ratchet and wrench

because there's at least two in his truck at this point as well. When will it end? When the old bastard dies? That last wrench will go into his cold dead hand so he can tighten bolts and hell because I warned him. I warned him. Happy Father's Day to all of you with weird traditions, jokes and relationships with the man who made you who you are today. And if you need a wrench, hit me up. I know a guy. Down in the comments, I'm going to read this top comment from Potatoes Pancakes.

Gee, I wonder what he's leaving you in his will. Our next Reddit post is from New Techie. Every day at my job, I have to travel between two offices. I start at my main office, then have to travel to my second office, then back to my main office. Because I'm using my personal vehicle for this travel, the company pays me mileage. Well, there are basically two routes that you can take between the two offices. One route is about a mile round trip shorter,

but it has tolls. So I always took the one mile longer route to avoid the tolls. I did it this way for a year. Well, income's a new bookkeeper, and she's hell bent on saving the company money. And where does she think all this wasteful money is going?

Expense reports, obviously. So she starts nitpicking every report. Like if someone has to buy some pins for work, she goes online and finds the cheapest possible price for those pins, and only reimburses for the cheaper price. Obviously, she's pissed several people off. Well, eventually, she decided to target me. I submit my report for two weeks, and a week later I get the reimbursement payments.

It's $5.85 short. I ask her about it, and she says that I've been ripping off the company for the past year by taking the longer route between the offices. She'll only pay mileage for the shorter route from now on. And you're lucky that I don't go back and take back all the extra from the past year. I say, okay, but please send it to me in writing that I have to

take the shorter route and that this is company policy. Then I leave her office. Before I even made it to my desk, I had the email from her confirming what she said. Two weeks later, I submit my expense report. I use the shorter route, so the company saved $5.85. However, the tolls added up to $136. A net loss for the company of $130.15. It's been six months, and I'm still taking the shorter route, costing the company an extra $130 bucks every two weeks. OP, when they inevitably ask you to go back to the longer route, make sure that you only switch after they reimburse you $5.85.

Our next Reddit post is from Mioshwits in there. Background, I mostly work in a niche area of law called discovery. Basically, when someone starts a legal proceeding, each party gets to ask other parties for certain documents relevant to the case. Sometimes parties refuse to produce certain documents because of reasons like attorney client privilege. I argue why my clients' documents are properly withheld or why the other side's documents are improperly withheld. One day, I see a job board post from a local law firm looking for a research slash writing position with required experience and discovery disputes. This raises a red flag for two reasons. First, local law firms normally don't need to hire full-time research and

writing people because 95% of that firm's cases are fairly similar. When these local firms need something research, they either just do it themselves or pay someone else for a few hours of work. Second, this local firm hired a friend of mine by telling them, start here, work hard, and move up to a senior associate in a few years before promptly letting them go after a few busy months. I go ahead and send my resume over and get scheduled for an interview pretty quickly. During the interview, I asked for a fairly high salary, which they agreed to almost instantly, which really set off my red flag alarm. Then the partner hits me with the following. We ask all candidates to provide a writing sample before the final interview. Sure thing, I thought that I attached one to the application, but let me grab my phone and double check.

Oh, not that writing sample. That's too generic for evaluation. Here's a legal question that we want you to research. I see. I'm more than happy to do that for an hourly rate. It should be fairly quick work. No other candidate has asked us for writing sample compensation, and this makes it seem like you won't be a team player. If you aren't interested in the position, just tell us. Let me think about it. So, I go home and search a couple of local court dockets. And when you know it, this firm is involved in a case with a hearing set on exactly the discovery question they want me to produce a free writing sample on.

I send an email back saying, Sure thing, I'll make the writing sample as long as it guarantees consideration for a research and writing position. They say yes, so I write a fantastic memo and send it in. A few weeks go by and I email asking for an update on the final position. No response. Then I check out that court docket and wouldn't you know it? They straight up copied and pasted parts of my memo in the response. I send a demand letter for payments and fees. No response. So I file a lawsuit for fraud and baby, then I get a response. A frothy, salty response. I got called some names. They went on and on about

how I was gonna lose and after that they were gonna counter-suit me. I said, Sounds good. I can't wait to lose. I guess you did hire a full-time research and writing attorney. I mean, it would be like baby town easy for me to win if you never hired for that position. Actually, it would be even easier if you never had a final interview for that spot. I'm sure that you're not that dumb, though. I got the check 30 days later. Oh man OP, you set yourself up for a win win.

Either they don't hire you, in which case you get paid for your work, or they do hire you, in which case you get paid for your work. Our next reddit post is from Groot. In Toronto, there's a small island airport close to downtown, and then the full on Pearson International. Once every two weeks or so I'd have to travel, so I'd usually book my flight through the island airport since it would be cheaper and my office was downtown so it took literally 15 minutes to get to.

If my flight was at 1pm, I'd leave the office at noon and make it with time to spare. One day I get my expense request denied for the Uber that took me to the airport because it was close enough to walk and as per company policy a taxi slash Uber is only for Pearson. This was all over $12 so okay fine. For my next flight I booked in Pearson. The plane ticket was $900 instead of $400 and I paid $70 for an Uber to get there instead of $12. Also, I had to leave work a full 3.5 hours before my flight to make it through check-in, security, and to get to my gate in time.

Usually, I'd be on some sort of call leading up to my flight, but this time I couldn't do any work at all. Sorry team, I'm unavailable for the rest of the day because of company policy. I come back and I'm asked why my expense report was double the usual amount that I'd put in. Well, it's because I'm not allowed to expense a $12 Uber to Billy Bishop Airport. And I'm not going to walk for 40 minutes in my suit and dress shoes in the middle of January in Canadian snow. Two months later, this new policy has cost them $2,000 over what I would have normally spent.

Some of the flights in that time were over $1,000 versus the $400 at the Island airports. Finally, I get an email one day saying that I can take whichever flight I deem fit as long as it's under $700, which is auto-approved at the island airport. Now I get to eat a nice meal, and sometimes upgrade myself to premium seats, and still fall within budget.

Down in the comments, we have this post from SJP. Ha, good compliance. Years ago, my then boss was traveling a lot, and was told off by finance staff for buying a coffee every morning and charging it to the business as an expense. Note, there was nothing in the policy saying that you couldn't buy coffee for breakfast, but they claimed the spirit of the contract was no coffee. So, in the future, he bought the hotel breakfast at around $30 or so instead. The finance guys were pleased that he didn't break their rules, but he went from paying $3 for a coffee to $30 for breakfast coffee with food that he barely ate. The travel policy was changed about three months later to allow staff to buy a coffee in

the mornings. That was our Slash Milicious Compliance, and if you liked this content, be sure to follow my podcast because I put on your Reddit podcast episodes every single day. my podcast because I put on your Reddit podcast episodes every single day.