rSlash - r/Maliciouscompliance Teacher: Prove You're Sick! Student: 🤮🤮🤮

Episode Date: October 1, 2021

r/Maliciouscompliance In today's episode, OP has a toxic math teacher who absolutely hates his guts for no reason. So when OP is feeling sick one day during a test, his math teacher assumes that he's faking it and tells him to prove that he' ssick. OP happily obliges, even though he couldn't stop himself even if he wanted to. He barfs all over the classroom floor. This insane teacher then tries to get OP in trouble by claiming that he did it on purpose just to make a scene in class. WTF? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to R-Slash, a podcast where I read the best post-traum across Reddit. Today's subreddit is R-Slash malicious compliance, where OP pukes all over his toxic math teacher. Our next Reddit post is from the untitled. This happened to me while I was in elementary school. My math teacher hated my guts for no reason. She would always find an excuse to lower my grades or blame me for something I didn't do. I was a pretty sick kid who had asthma, dermatitis, and was just sick in general. Thinking back, I think her hating me had a lot to do with that because she felt that I had special treatment and privileges. One day we were doing a test, and I started feeling really bad.

It got to the point where I thought that I would have to puke, but I held it in because I knew that she wouldn't believe me. Then I started shaking and kinda puked in my mouth a bit, so I stood up and started walking to the bathroom. She of course stopped me and told me to go sit back down. I tried explaining, but she wouldn't hear it. One girl stood up for me and said something like, he's really pale and shaking and sweating, I think he needs to go home.

That calls the teacher to go on a five minute rant about how I'm a spoiled liar who didn't study for the test and I'm trying to fool everybody and that I'm taking away their precious test time and they should hate me for that. I said that I really need to puke and she just scoffed and said,

you're not going anywhere with your lies so you might as well do your imaginary puke here. Yeah, so you can guess what happened next. I'm not sure if this is compliance because I couldn't hold it in anyway, but I was so happy while doing it. First, I puked a bit through my hands, and then I let it all out across her desk, across her grading book, and all over the floor.

She tried to blame me by saying that I threw up by force, but the principal didn't buy it after the doctor examined me. Nothing special happened to that teacher, but she never bothered me again. OP, my mom was a high school teacher, and she had a grade book, and she said that one time someone ripped up her grade book, and her grade book was the only log that she had of all of the grades, so she had to painstakingly tape the entire grade book back together. Otherwise she wouldn't be able to grade her students. So you said that nothing special happened to that teacher, but if that was her only copy

of her grade book, which to be honest sounds likely, then she would have had to either clean all that puke off your grade book or transfer all the grades from the puke grade book to a new grade book. Either way OP, she did not get off scot free. Our next reddit postage from the Analog Quala. I work as an integrated circuit design engineer. My team is mostly based in the Bay Area, but for some reason my current project is being hit up on the East Coast. We haven't met the project manager in person, and it turns out that he's a bit more controlling and overbearing than we're used to. Now chip design isn't the same as software development, but it does have some similarities.

We use a version control system to check in changes to the design to make sure we can roll it back if there are any errors, and it works great. To keep the database manageable, we typically don't check in too often, only when we make significant changes that we want others to be able to see. Anyway, the new project manager came down with an edic last month that one of our key performance indicators, which is one of the ways they evaluate our performance, will be how many check-ins we do. Predictably, people have started checking in new versions of their designs for every little thing they do. And it's become harder and harder to comprehend

how the project is going because the history is all muddled now. The project manager has it set up so that he gets an email for every check-ins we can keep tabs on us. During my last one on one a few days ago with the project manager, I told him the team didn't want to be evaluated on check-ins anymore because doing too many check-ins is counterproductive. But the guy wouldn't budge! We're getting to the point in the project where we have to start hammering the design

with test to find all the faults. We do this by generating many thousands of files that have test sequences in them. These are called test vectors. Then we run a program that sends our design random samplings of these test vectors. So this morning I was on Slack with a few team members, and we came up with an idea. We usually just make one zip file of all the test vectors, but if we're being judged on our check-ins, then why not just check them all in individually. So cue the malicious compliance. The project manager wants an email from every check-in. Fine.

The project manager wants to evaluate us on the number of check-ins. Also fine. We wrote a script that makes each team member check-in a certain amount of the test vectors. This was tens of thousands of tests per person. This script would absolutely nuke his key performance indicator results and kill his inbox. And it couldn't happen to a nicer bloke. We launched the script 30 minutes ago, and we haven't gotten an email from him yet. Presumably because his email inbox has melted down. And then OP posted an update. He just called my cell phone, and he was surprisingly

good-natured about it. He just basically said that he got the point and that was pretty clever. Then he asked me some project related questions. Sorry the outcome didn't have any more fireworks, but I don't think that we'll be doing tons of check-ins anymore. So, victory! Our next reddit post is from Russian hacker. Back in my senior year of high school, I had an amazing English teacher. He was very engaging and passionate about what he did.

It was a great class to have first period. Well, the class was all seniors, and it was the end of the year and finals were coming up. You know how it goes. Our school's schedule for finals was two periods per day for three days. The administration, which was wary of kids skipping classes, warned the teachers that they must hold class on the end of their scheduled final, and they can't tell the students they don't need to show up. So, the week before finals,

my teacher gets up in front of the whole class and says, for our final, we'll be watching a movie. Now, the administration has told me that I'm not allowed to tell you that you don't have to show up for this final. So, I will not do so. Needless to say, I got some extra sleep that finals week. Down in the comments, we have this story from Kendra Leech. This is my high school favorite. Hey, Mr. C, can I go to McDonald's? No. Three minutes later.

Hey, Mr. C, can I go to the bathroom? Yeah, bring me back a coffee. Our next reddit postage from Perception. At the time, I had just moved from a small village in Europe to North America. When I moved to Canada, I met up with other locals from my tiny area in Europe. Being from the same little country, we all became quite close. I had become friendly with a next-door neighbor who was a waitress at a mid to high level restaurant in town. She told me I should stop by, and so I did.

I brought my friends along, and it became a reoccurring thing where about a dozen of us would come in and eat and be served by her. This happened at least once a week, every single week, often twice a week. I asked her if that was okay, but she never seemed overwhelmed and we often caught her just chilling at the front desk when she was done with the initial plates. More on that later. Again, we're not from a tipping country, so I was initially going to tip 15%. Then, I was graciously informed by the host that an automatic 18% tip was added to the bill for larger groups and six people. Okay, great. Now I don't have to figure out how much to tip. After about three months of this, she stops by as I'm taking out my trash.

One thing to know about my neighbor is that she seems nice, but she has no tact, and she can have a bossy demeanor. She tells us she enjoys having us as customers and loves seeing us enjoy the food, but that we should be tipping 20% minimum. With a heavy emphasis on the word minimum, she said, good tippers would give at least 30%. I was a bit stunned that of all the things she could talk about, it was that. So I simply said, I'm sorry, okay? She finished off with her signature sweet smile in the words, sorry, Hein, if you can't afford to eat out, then you shouldn't be doing so. Now, if she was polite

and said something like, by the way, it's customary to tip X percent if we do a good job. I understand that you might not know the customs here, then I would have understood. But, many times, she was inattentive as a waitress. Weed often have to flag her down after making eye contact where she would just be waiting behind the counter. Like I said, tipping her 20% wasn't out of the question. It was more about the way she asked for it. So I mentioned this encounter to my friends, and after a little talk we realized that we really can't afford that. Not if we also want to be able to purchase other goods such as fine wines, cheeses, and the like. See, we're not poor,

but we're not rich either. These weekly dinners were little luxuries where we splurged for the sake of friends and feeling special in a fancy restaurant. It didn't break our bank, but it was still a significant amount of money. If we also had to tip her 30%, then it was just too much. Across the 12 of us, it was hundreds of dollars in tips alone per week. That's a lot for us. We could use that money to rent a pool hall, fishing tours, etc. So we did what any responsible adult would do.

We stopped buying what we couldn't afford. It was far cheaper to host our gatherings in someone else's house into a potluck or make a deli board. Now after chatting with other neighbors, I found out this waitress did this with other people in the neighborhood. She would invite them out to a restaurant and then tell them off later if the tip was too low. My other neighbors always said the same thing.

She wants a 20% minimum service wasn't the best, she was very hurry, not very attentive etc. And she was really entitled. So we stopped eating at the restaurant and having her as our waitress. Mind you, I never stopped saying hi to her, I kept up my pleasantries. But now, after we all of a sudden stopped coming in, she had a scowl on her face when she'd see me. She kept her responses quick and stopped saying hi as much.

And then, about a month after we stopped coming, one of the neighbors mentioned to me how she was complaining that her tips weren't great anymore, and that she couldn't afford to get more fillers for her cheeks at the new medical spot down the road. Oh well, like you said, don't eat out if you can't afford it. Our next reddit post is from Pipo Potomus Version 2. A few years ago, I was an electrical apprentice in California. We had one foreman who was really anal. For example, if you wanted you to use a push broom to go sweep a room, you had to do it in

big strokes, not small ones. So one day he comes to me in my journeyman and he says, I need you to put in T1000s in all these rooms. It should take 15 minutes per light according to the box, so this will keep you busy for the day. Wait, hold on. Aren't T1000s Terminators? Like Arnold Schwarzenegger in the Terminator movie. Wasn't that row about a T1000? Am I making that up?

No, the T1000 was the shape shifting one. So OP, why are you installing Terminators in a building? What? Well, anyways, we start putting the lights up and I find out that we can install these things in like seven or nine minutes, so we knock out 5 or 6 minutes in each first hour, and the formant comes by and screams, what the hell? I told you we should take 15 minutes per light! My journeyman said, well, they're really simple, so we were able to get them knocked out pretty quick so far. No, I want you to take 15 minutes per light.

No excuses. I promise you, he really said that verbatim. So he storms off, and my journeyman looks at me and goes, well, back to work then. Then about 5 minutes later he finishes his light, and I finish mine a few seconds later. But our timer still has 9.5 minutes, so we just chill for 9.5 minutes. We did this all the way until lunch came rolling around, and the superintendents won't buy to check on the job side, and we're just sitting there talking about sports. The superintendent comes up looking confused, and Matt is all hell. Why the F are you sitting around and not working?

My journeyman said, well the foreman told us that it should take 15 minutes per light and that we need to take 15 minutes per light. So we'll finish a light, wait for the timer to run out and then start the next one. Oh what the hell! Sorry guys, when you come back from lunch just knock them out as you would normally. I don't know why he wants you to do it this way but I'll fix it. The foreman got chewed the F out for that, and he learned a great lesson in malicious compliance that day. Our next read it posted from kangaroos love lawfuls. Some background,

this takes place in preschool with three year olds. At this school, many of the teachers have kids who attend there, obviously because they get a big discount, which isn't the problem. Most of the teachers don't mind their child's teacher reprimanding their kid because their teachers themselves. But then there's the entitled administrator. She is an annoying administrator who would call us in the middle of our lessons to remind us to take pictures of the kids or stupid stuff like that that we do every single day without her inputs.

She loves to micromanage people. I've had several issues with her in the past over these phone calls as have other teachers. The entitled Edmund Sun is in my class. He wasn't really a bad kid overall, but when he would act out, yikes! But still, my coworker and I could easily handle him. However, the entitled Edmund would constantly tell us to call her whenever her Sun acted up. Now, the thing is, we don't call parents or misbehavior, so why would we call her? None of the other teachers or parents do that.

She finally blew up at me and my coworker about it, saying how he never gets prizes, and if we just called her, then he would behave better. When she left, I looked at my coworker who looked super annoyed, and a plan came to mind. Cue malicious compliance. Every single time her son would misbehave, I called the front office. Got up during lessons, phone call.

Talked back, phone call. Screamed at us, phone call. Told a friend who was stupid, phone call. kept getting up to go to the bathroom too much, phone call. Didn't cover his mouth while sneezing, phone call. Whenever anything slightly out of the ordinary happened, we called up the front desk to let the entitled administrator know what was going on. Let me tell you, these phone calls really added up.

On the first day, she would physically come to the room after each call. But pretty soon by day two, she started getting annoyed and would say, thanks for telling me. The fallout. After three days of calling her for every little thing, another admin came to talk to us about why we were calling so much for one student. We explained the entitled admin's request. And this admin laughed at how ridiculous it was to have us do this in the first place. She talked to the entitled admin and explained to her that it was unreasonable to have us call when we don't call other parents. The request to call her stopped and we continued on with the school year. It's not a huge malicious

compliance, but it was a small victory. That was our slash malicious compliance, and if you liked this content, be sure to follow my podcast, because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day. podcast because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day.