rSlash - r/Maliciouscompliance Teacher: "Write A 4000 Word Essay On ONE PAGE!" Students: "OK"

Episode Date: January 6, 2021

r/Maliciouscompliance In today's episode, a stupid teacher tells her students to write a 4,000 word essay on just 1 page. The students are confused because that's basically impossible. After the teacher yells at one of the students, all of the students decide to give the teacher exactly what she asked for and write 4000 words in a super tiny 2-point font. Hope you like reading with a microscope! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

These side marios all you can eat is all you can munch a soup salad and garlic home Welcome to our slash a podcast where I read the best post from across Reddit today Subreddit is our slash malicious compliance where a manager learns that it's best not to mess with your star employee Our next reddit post is from Wyron this happened about a decade ago at my first job It was an IT analytics services firm in India Our next Reddit post is from Wyren. This happened about a decade ago at my first job. It was an IT Analytics services firm in India, I'm from India, and while work was interesting, the hours were insane, and folks used to work 12 hours a day usually. Since we always had conference calls with our counterparts sitting in the US, we ended

our work day pretty late, 10 PM was my usual time. Due to this, people used to come into the office late in the morning as well, usually the entire team would be in the office by noon. Management was not happy about this. So they went ahead and decided that everybody had to be in by 10am, and if you're not, they'll dock you half a day pay. We were all salary employees. Managers were supposed to enforce this, but they didn't care.

So occasionally HR people would stand next to the office and instead implement the policy. The hrpersons stopped me with a shocked expression on their face and asked, where are you going? I replied back home, see you at lunch, and went back home ignoring his feeble protest. I actually ended up calling my manager and just took a day off. After this incident, I heard similar stories from other people, and HR just stopped enforcing this policy. Man, one of these people gonna learn, I'm gonna punish you by giving you less work. Oh no, not less work, anything but that. Well, bye I guess. See you on Monday.

Our next reddit post is from Riley Smiley. So I work for grocery stores a personal shopper for their in-house grocery pickup delivery service. Not to tune my own horn, but I am uncontestedly the fastest and best employee in the entire day shift. For context, I can pick around 100 to 120 unique items per hour while the average person does around 60, which is the expected minimum. It's safe to say that this department relies on me quite heavily. To the point where the department manager has to find two people to replace me when I can't come to a shift. This is mainly because I find the job pretty boring, so I throw in an air pot and listen to music. I'm fast mainly because I find the job pretty boring, so I throw in an airpot and listen

to music. I'm fast, mainly because it makes me feel like I'm actually doing something while I'm here. It's also important to note that there's no incentive for me to perform more than anyone else. I don't get paid more, there's no recognition. I just do it because it keeps me busy. Now one of the assistant store managers doesn't like me.

I can't figure out the reason, but she doesn't. Either way, she decided today that it would now be a rule that you couldn't listen to music while picking groceries, because they didn't know what I was listening to. Nothing in relation to not being able to hear customers, which I could anyways. Now I asked others about this rule, and they hadn't been told anything, and we're still wearing earbuds and listening to music. Now it's important for us to have at least a one hour buffer. It allows us to call customers to review changes major their order and then adjust anything as per their request. This is how we

ensure customer satisfaction. Today it was really busy and we could barely keep that buffer up even with me at full productivity and that's when I was told that I could listen to no more music. That's when things began to nose dive, and fast. Within half an hour, we had lost half of our buffer, and by the time I was done with my pick, we had completely lost it. The assistant manager is now being chewed out by the general manager because we're behind, and that's a serious issue. She then looks at the chart that shows our pick rates and asks him where I am,

explaining that we shouldn't be behind with me there. All the while I'm sitting there taking my sweet time writing benthags and tell she confronts me and asks me why I'm picking so slowly. I explained that I had no obligation to go above and beyond, and that because there was a clear double standard being held, I didn't see a reason to perform at a higher level in the rest of the department. After the cogs in her head finally stopped turning, she realized it is probably best if she allows me to listen to my music and sent me on my way. Within two hours, I had created a one-hour buffer again.

Needless to say, she learned an important lesson in causing effect today that I doubt she'll be forgetting soon. Our next reddit post is from Ruck. This past Christmas, my mom just told me her malicious compliance story. She was looking for stockings toppers for the whole family and found a lindor chocolate coupon online. 150 pieces for like 40 bucks, which is a pretty good deal. She didn't read the coupon, but she screenshot it and brought it to her local outlet sort of pick out the treats in person.

It was a tad busy in the source so she waited in line, and when it was her turn she showed the coupon. The conversation went as follows. Hi, I have this coupon. I'd like to pick out my chocolates. The clerk inspects the coupon. Sorry, that's for online orders or if you can call it in we can package it for you. Okay, so I can't pick out the chocolates. I'll need to call it in. I'm here now. Sorry, that's what the coupon says. Next.

So my mom steps out of line and pulls at her phone. The clerk turns around and answers the phone. Hi, I'd like to place in order for 150 pieces of chocolate. Can you please provide me with your full menu one by one? The clerk turns around more to fight and quietly says, please just pick out the chocolate you want. We'll honor the coupon. And down in the comments, we have this story from Anomalous Cowherd. A few years ago, the local electronics store had much cheaper prices online than in the store, but I hadn't realized. I picked up what I wanted in the store and I was shocked when the higher price rang up.

I asked them to give me the online price, and the smug guy behind the counter said they couldn't do that. I walked off and left the item by the checkout. Then, I walked outside, ordered online for Collecting Store, and walked back in. The smug checkout guy wasn't happy when I went back to a checkout to collect my order and point it out that it's at right next to the till already. Within a few months, they made the prices the same everywhere. I guess I wasn't the only one doing this. Our next Reddit post is from routine condition. Many moons ago, before the 2008 recession, I managed to have the records department worked in an industry where record keeping is super critical. Bad records means no more business because one of the many government agencies

would shut you down, sometimes permanently. My direct boss, who reported to the CEO, was a good person, but he was overworked and he would grab onto any idea as long as it kicked the can down the road at which point the problem was worse. He needed to go, but the CEO liked his results despite how negatively they impacted production in morale. In short, my boss had to go away, and I needed to be the one reporting to the CEO. So I waited until he grabbed onto an idea that was so terrible that it just had to be the one reporting to the CEO. So I waited until he grabbed onto

an idea that was so terrible that it just had to be exploited. My boss came in and told me to stop the record keeping. All of it. He told me the salesperson for a software provider informed him that the software could do all of that for us. My boss was even kind enough to send me a direct email stating all of this. I called my team in and told them the news. We were all horrified and we knew this would come back to bite us all. The software in question could do the job, but it was never set up or configured to meet the requirements. I'd already spoken to legal in our government contacts a few months earlier about having software to do this, and were required to inform them and submit samples of it prior to going live. None of that was ever done.

So we kept doing our job as normal and strangely no one asked any questions. Until the quarterly meetings. My boss apparently had not informed the CEO of this plan and had instead decided to show the cost savings he had implemented the quarterly meeting. Thankfully our account was a sharp eyed person, and she immediately started questioning things. From the information I received from the other folks who were there at the meeting, the account massed how this was possible, and my boss confidently told him that he stopped the record keeping requirements and the software was taking care of that now.

The IT people, who knew what was required to be compliant, apparently created a sound akin to a record needle scratch. IT stated we were months away from implementation. Legal chimed in and pointed out that we were now in a seriously bad legal position. The CEO turned white before assuming a wondrous red tinge. Much shouting was heard. Apparently, the salesperson told me it would work was not a good excuse.

Suddenly my phone rings and it's the CEO. I'm ordered to the conference room. I smile and grab my folder of evidence and form my team that I might not be back and it's been fun and walk towards my fate. I walk into a scene that I would have loved to have taken a picture of. The CEO, legal and IT are all up in arms. My boss looks defeated because he now understands how big of an issue this is. I grab a seat and listen to the lamenting of the masses.

When it's my turn to talk, I calmly explain my side of things. The CEO loved that direct email from my boss telling me to stop record keeping. After letting that sink in, I calmly told them in my insubordination for the good of the company. The uninterrupted status of the record keeping and how we're not in a pile of trouble, but in fact we're 100% compliance. There was a collective sigh of relief. I then told them that moving forward, I would like to be out from under my boss's management

and would prefer to report directly to the CEO. To my surprise they agreed, and within the week my boss was moved to places he could inflict less damage while having more eyes on his actions. Look at me, I'm the boss now. And when someone asked OPP got to raise OP ads, I got an extra bonus that year. No added responsibilities, which I suppose shows how much my boss contributed. This just cleared some administrative clutter and made my job easier. And no more crazy half-baked patches to our issues.

What do I love getting my holiday gifts at Chopper's Drug Mart, the PC optimum points? Perfume for mom? Points for me. Gaming console for the kids? Points for me? Chalkets for the teachers? Oh yeah, points for me, shoppers. You should totally go. Exclusions of life. That's just the beginning. Stream the complete Dutton legacy, 1883, 1923, and all seasons of Yellowstone.

I love Montana, but I'm doing this far family. Paramount Plus, the streaming home of Yellowstone. Our next Reddit post is from Neuronsos. During undergrad, I worked in a deli in a major supermarket. Most of my coworkers were also in college, and we all got along and generally had a good time. We usually didn't have too much trouble,

but for some reason, a couple of managers decided that they didn't like one of my coworkers. Let's call them Corey. They would nitpick his work and give him a hard time for things the rest of us never got in trouble for. One morning, they decided that his 5 o'clock shadow warranted a beard net. Now this was an unusual request considering that one, no one without a beard had ever been told to do this before, and two, he barely had any stubble.

And three, they made a big deal about it and seemed to be trying to make him feel bad about it. Cue the malicious compliance. Managers aside, I was the only female employee in the department at the time. So I stroll up and ask what's going on. They point out as stubble. I respond that I'm certain that I have eyebrow hairs longer than that, and in mock concern, I ask if I should be wearing my hair and head over them.

The managers sort of look at each other and hesitantly say, no, you don't need to do that. I ask why not, because it's likely that my eyebrow hairs would be in someone's food of worried about Chen Stubble. They persist that no, I shouldn't worry about it. Then I ask about the fine hairs on a woman's face. What about those? Should I be shaving? They're catching on now.

They tell Cory to put a beard net on and leave. He does, and so do I. Solidarity. I don't think I've seen so many people double take and start laughing before. The customers in my indirect manager thought it was hilarious. When they asked me about it, I would just say that I was protecting the food in the store from any potential hairs, or real, or imagined. By noon, when the original pair of managers returned, I was having a very good day.

They begged me to take the beard net off, and I pointed out that there was nothing in the store policy saying that I couldn't wear personal protection equipment, which included beard nets. I wore it until the end of my shift that day. They never bothered quarry about a stubble after that. Our next reddit post is from LaHue. I work in a highly specialized field where it's very difficult to find and train suitable personnel.

By pinching pennies and not holding as promises about pay-grade changes, my boss successfully drove away three specialists working in the department that I led. Right before the last one put in our notice, my boss argued that a two person department didn't justify a leadership position and demoted me, and we were integrated with another department. This was done outside of any legal framework and with a one week notice, which is illegal. During the reorganization, the manager of the department that we joined was assigned to R&D, and another manager and his deputy were promoted to lead the department's daily business.

We effectively had three supervisors. All of them lacking managerial training and technical knowledge about the duties of our now defunct apartment. And only one of them could read the language in which 50% of our reports were written. Right after the reorganization, I was granted one last meeting with the boss,

where I pointed out that several of my duties can't be bestowed upon the mere foot soldier that I had become nor taken over by the new leadership. He answered that his decision was final. I was to revert to my previous job description and take up any future matter with my new supervisors. I did just that, and more. I read this state law about state and university employees. I should have done that earlier in hindsight. I discovered that, one, the legal move that my boss made doesn't carry any penalties, so there's nothing I can do about that one. The illegal move that my boss made doesn't carry any penalties, so there's nothing I can do about that legally.

2. I'm allowed to take on private mandates for anything that's not explicitly mentioned in my job description. 3. I get to take up to 15 days of additional pay leave per year to hold a public office. 4. The pay grade that I reverted to doesn't match my responsibilities today. Even excluding the absence of a leadership position. and there's an end-to-pinnet procedure with state HR to reevaluate my pay grade. The kicker? My old job description that dates back to 7 years before is short, to say the least. Three lines that don't even cover 50% of what my duties in the last 7 years consist of.

Also, I have a side gig as a retained firefighter and fire instructor, and I used to take vacation days to work those. This counts as a public office according to state law. The fallout. My new managers both signed the authorization to take on private mandates in public office without understanding the implications. I used all of the 15 days where I legally get paid by the fire department and my employer at the same time.

I took on several private mandates, totaling nearly an additional month of salary for four days' work. Also, the pay grade re-evaluation brought me back to my previous income level. Oh, and since my specialty now has a bus factor of one, and my new supervisors have been unable to staff the open positions, it was very unlucky that I felt ill at a time when I had to submit paperwork for a research grant, costing the institution $30,000 in lost research funds. Our next bread posted from Lunatic 976. When I was a college sophomore, we had this professor

Mrs. Wing and religious studies who would act like her subject should be our top priority. Although we came from different majors, religion studies is just a filler subject needed for students in our Catholic college. She wanted us to come to every meeting because attendance is part of the grade, which was fine by me. But she would give us too many research assignments for so little time. This class is a Tuesday, Thursday, one, so if she gave us three research assignments on Tuesday, she was expecting us to submit the assignments by Thursday the same week. This created a problem for all of us since we have a lot of things to do for our other

classes. But it would be a hassle to fail a subject like this. Retaking a major subject is acceptable, but retaking a filler subject is annoying. One Tuesday she gave us an assignment. A 4,000 word essay to be submitted on Thursday. 4,000 is a lot for us given the time frame. And that was the week before midterm, so it gave us a hard time. But here's the catch.

She wanted our essay on a single sheet of short bond paper. It's literally impossible to fit a 4,000 word essay on one page. A classmate of mine, Nathan, asked Mrs. Wing about the single page saying, Nathan asked if we could submit multiple pages to accommodate the 4,000 word essay. Here I'll stop her. 4,000 word essay on a single page. It's that simple. Mrs. Wing was in her early 60s at the time, so I don't think she had an idea of what a compressed 4,000 word essay would look like on a single page when printed. For every subject, we have a Facebook group for announcements, discussion between classmates

and no-charing. In some subjects, the teacher was usually the administrator of the group. But since Mrs. Wing was not due fond of Facebook, one of our classmates volunteered to create the group for us. The night before the submission, we were having a problem with our essays. Some classmates who were done with our essay tried to print it out, and the font was too small, even though they adjusted the margins. Here comes the malicious compliance.

Nathan, who was still a little pissed about the whole situation, posted a status on our group. Let's give her what she wants, 4,000 words in a single page. The comments were blowing up. Some said they were thinking of doing the same thing and others were laughing. Back then, the ha ha ha reaction button was still a thing, so ha ha ha's were filling up the comments. The next day, we were all excited about our plan. One by one, we placed our papers on our desk. As she was scanning the papers, she

went ballistic. Why are there words on these so small? Nathan raised his hand. Ma'am, you were clear about a 4,000 word essay on a single page. That's what it looks like. Mrs. Wayne couldn't contain her anger. She realized she was wrong. Instead of apologizing, she just told us to reprint our essays

and submit them on Tuesday next week. We all agreed. And then OP shares another short story. There was this one time misswing so a classmate who died her hair red, not totally red, but a natural looking red, and commented, Satan likes to prey on people who color their hair. That was our slash malicious compliance, and if you liked this content, check out my Patreon where I publish extra episodes. Also, be sure to follow this podcast because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day.

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