rSlash - r/Maliciouscompliance Yell at Me? Enjoy an Angry Swarm of Wasps!

Episode Date: November 22, 2021

r/Maliciouscompliance In today's episode, OP is stuck in the middle of a vicious parking dispute between two tenants at an apartment complex where he works. One of the tenants makes the terrible mistake of screaming at OP, so he happily maliciously complies by moving their parking space next to a dumpster surrounded by an angry cloud of wasps. Enjoy getting stung every time you go to your car, jerkface! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to R-Slash, a podcast where I read the best posts from across Reddit. Today's subreddit is R-Slash malicious compliance, where OPEE complies with an angry cloud of wasps. Our next reddit post is from Bag of Tigers. While I was attending university, I was working in a popular supermarket chain as a team leader. I worked evenings, so this meant that I was essentially in charge of the checkouts because there were no managers in. I wore a head set, and if the cashiers needed assistance, they would buzz me and I would go to help them. The system wouldn't say what type of help was needed on the headset, just which number check out to go to. One night, I'm in the middle of the store putting away some abandoned items, and my headset tells me check out for needs help.

On it. As I'm walking over, check out 8 also buzzes in. Fine, I'll go there next. It takes a good couple of minutes before I get to check out 4. Some discounted items weren't going through and I had to authorize something. It took about 3 minutes to put through all the items the customer wanted and then I make my way over to check out 8. As I approach, I can hear this customer causing a scene.

He's moaning about how long I'm taking and how incompetent we clearly are. As I get closer, I see this middle-aged man with his arms in the air in a come-on gesture, complaining at the cashier that he's been on his feet all day, and all he effing once is another box of eggs. I'm super polite and I ask how I can help. He turns on me with the biggest frown, and I fully expect him to write me a new one, but alas, he suddenly looks sheepish, and his body visibly shrinks in with shame. You see, redditors, I was eight months pregnant at the time, and I was as big as a house. The cashier explains that the ex-man chose her broken and he needs a new box. Immediately he says,

Oh, um, I can go get them. There wasn't even a line behind him. He could have gone and gotten them himself at any point. I say, no, that's okay sir. You've been on your feet all day. Let me go get your eggs. I waddled away and I took my time. Our next reddit posted some crack snap. When I was like 13 or 14, I decided that I wanted a PS3. My dad refused to buy me one and my uncle

made me an offer that I couldn't refuse. He said that if I worked at a sweet shop for the two months of summer break, he would buy me a PS3 and some games and lieu of payments. For teenage me with no commitments, this seemed fantastic! My uncle sold a kind of specialty snack known as a mini-Samosa in a shop. They're like Samosas, but smaller, about 3.5 to 4 centimeters in size. That's about 1,2286 of a football field for my American friends. They were sold by weight and sealed packs of 250 grams and 500 grams because these were the most common amounts that people bought.

Making these packages turned out to be my job. You see, my uncle realized that 250 grams was roughly the weight of 28 mini-semosas, and thus, 56 mini-semosas were 500 grams. So, instead of weighing each packet, I was told to just pack by counting individual items, which was easier and save time. We also sold them individually for people who wanted larger, smaller, or unusual amounts. This was also around the time when our government started airing customer awareness PSAs. Jaggo-Gurak Jaggo for my fellow Indians. Basically, they were just telling customers to look out for fraudulent business people. This is relevant. So, one particularly hot afternoon, it was just me and my uncle at the shop.

In India, frequent power cuts were very common during summers, and thus, there were no fans or AC running. Temperers and temperatures were both running high at the shop that day. It was then that the villain of our story, Mr. Kron, made his entry. He was a local resident and a regular. He seemed angry from the onset when he barged into the shop. He took a look at the fans, saw they weren't running, then angrily picked up a 500 gram pack of Samoza's and said, how many Samoza's are in this thing? That's 500 grams, I said.

I said how many, not how much? Mr. Karan literally screamed, again, how many in this? 56, I replied immediately, since, you know, I packed them. How can you be so sure? You didn't even count them. Are you trying to cheat me? Mr. Karan was now in full scale Karen mode. I demand that you pack me 500 grams of the individual ones and don't you dare cheat

me again. I looked over at my uncle, who was wet with sweat, fanning himself with yesterday's newspaper. He slowly nodded. I gave him a huge smile, sure sir, whatever you want. So I took a bag, picked up some semoses, and started putting them on the balance. I kept counting semoses as I put them in until they were a little over 500 grams. Then I removed the last semosa, and the weight fell just below 500 grams.

Now, while maintaining eye contact with Mr. Kuran, I crushed the last semosa and started putting its powdery remains in the bag until it was exactly 500 grams. But wait, there's more! Mr. Kuran apparently didn't seem to mind powdered semosa, but instead asked Mugli, so how many semoses are there now? 48, I claim triumphantly. You see, sometime in the past, my uncle's old chef retired, and the new chef made Samosas with a little bit more filling in them. They looked the same size on the outside, and they only weighed a couple of more grams each. But those couple of grams

added up on mass orders, and that's what Mr. Karan found out the hard way. Mr. Karan looked sheepishly at his prepack semosis, and then had his new package, and asked if he could buy the former instead. My uncle said, no, my nephew made a package specifically for you at your own requests, so that's what you have to buy. Mr. Karan silently took the smaller pack, paid, and left. Mr. Karan was a lot more respectful during his subsequent visits. Oh, yeah. I'm imagining you just staring into this guy's eyes as you grab this some most in your hand and crush it into dust and stuffed it into the bag as the back as the back is like crinkling and everyone staring at you watching

you do it in complete silence. Oh that just seems so funny to me. Our next reddit post is from Doriantilus. I grew up on a dairy farm struggling every day, 365 days a year to help my family live. About 10 years in, the farmer's land next to us had a single house built onto a small plot near the irrigation riser, and a younger family from the city moved into that house for a quiet life in the country. Over the next year, cops were at our place dozens of times about smell complaints, noise complaints, and other complaints about anything that family could think of. Basically, they were trying to get a shutdown for existing outside the bounds of their

imagined country life. In the winter, my dad would drive our tractor around to all the neighborhood houses and dig the snow out of their driveway so they could drive to work. This was a costly and time consuming endeavor, but it was one of the main things a farmer could do to gain praise and feel good every day. Well, about three weeks into winter, this guy from the new house shows up early at our door, asking us to not do his driveway so early in the morning because it was waking him up.

My dad explained that he had to do it before 5am because he did it before he started other chores which took hours. The neighbor insisted that he do it later or not at all, so that was the last time my dad did his driveway. It turns out you have to wake up at about 5am to use your snowblower to dig out your car if you want to get to work on time. Down in the comments we have this way from NC Gritz. This reminds me of a friend who had a new neighbor move in.

This guy had never lived out in the country before. And after a few days he came over to complain that my friends' birds were in his yard and she had to come get them. These were wild birds, not escaped chickens or something like that, and their houses were a quarter mile apart. Our next reddit post is from Juzyt Fruit. I'm a building manager, and I took over two residential apartment blocks. Part of my duties include assigning parking spots.

Due to the incompetence and neglect of the previous management company, I inherited a parking lot which was a complete organizational disaster. Multiple tenants believing they'd been assigned the same spot, tenants parking in spots but not paying, etc. And of course, the parking map, which is supposed to be regularly updated, hadn't been updated in almost 16 months. A situation arose where two tenants were fighting over the same parking spots. Instead of coming to management to resolve the issue, they engaged in a nasty war that

consisted of them leaving me notes on each other's car. Eventually this disputes spilled over, and I was contacted by one of them. Our conversation was pretty simple. I expressed understanding about their frustration, and I asked specific questions to help figure out who was originally assigned that parking spot. I explained how previous management failed to maintain order in the parking map and that I would happily resolve the issue. Instead of replying to my simple questions, they sent me an all-caps email which in part read,

I do not have to answer any questions, and I expect this parking situation to be resolved immediately with no more emails or text messages. Well, if they had just answered my questions, then I could have resolved the situation. I suspected they were the original tenant assigned the spot, and it was indeed theirs. But since they wouldn't answer my question and insisted on resolution immediately, I did what I could. I assigned the other tenant that spot, and I replied, in order to resolve this issue without communication, you are now assigned spot number 64.

If you continue to park in spot 35, you'll be towed immediately because it's now assigned to a different tenant. I gave that tenant the spot right next to the dumpsters. So now they can enjoy the stench of rotting garbage and a cloud of wasps every time they go to the car, which is also a hundred meters further away from the doors. Two days later the tenant approached me in person and apologized for their behavior. I said, nah, no worries, I don't hold grudges. Then they asked if I could reassign them their old spot. Nope. Our next reddit posted from JC Mason.

A long time ago. I mean something like 35 years ago, I was 15 and a bit of a smart. I worked at the local pizza place, and I generally liked my job. My manager was a young 18 year old woman who would get high and drunk with the team after work, and typically she just hung out and partied

all the time at her apartment. Well, the owner decided that she was a bit too young to be manager, so he demoted her to assistant and hired a new general manager. We'll call him Mr. Smith. Mr. Smith ended the employee discount for food, and ended our perk of getting to eat messed up orders because he thought that we messed them up all the time on purpose. Plus, he liked to eat anchovies right out of the can. Gross. So he was all around not very popular with the staff, including me.

Another role that he put in place was that during our breaks, we couldn't sit at any of the tables in the dining area unless we were eating something. But he never specified what we had to eat. Cue the malicious compliance. At this point in history, Domino's opened up a test pizza delivery place called Pizza Dispatch. This was just a test to see if people would still like their pizzas but under a different name. The pizzas were 100% identical. The ingredients even had the original chain's name on the boxes. So one night, during a really busy shift, I was told to go on break in 15 minutes. So I went to the pay phone. We weren't allowed to use a store phone, and I called up Pizza

Dispatch. They took my order, and they didn't believe that I wanted to deliver to a different pizza place, but after I explained the situation, they were game. The guy probably didn't believe me, but they still delivered. They even expedited it for me. So 15 minutes go by, I go on break, and I sit in the closet that we had for a break area until I hear Mr. Smith ask someone, what the f are you doing in here? The delivery guy reaching to his bag and said, uh, I have a delivery for OP. I stepped out. I stepped out and said, that's me under the blistering stare of Mr. Smith. I paid for the pizza, gave a very healthy tip for the speed.

Then I went and sat down at a dining room table. I opened my box of pizza and Mr. Smith came up to me and tried to make me eat somewhere else. I told him, you said that we could only sit in the dining room on our breaks if we were eating. You bring your lunch every day, and today I brought mine. He got pretty mad, but I didn't push him far enough to get fired. But what did happen is that employees got our discount back.

We were able to eat messed up orders, and Mr. Smith ended up teaching me a lot about work ethic, how to run a small business, complete inventory, and compute the profit and loss statement each month. This was in the mid 80s, so we didn't have computers in the stores, we did it all on paper. I ended up working for him the entire time that he was manager at our small restaurant, and I even followed him to another chain later on. I still think about him in the lessons he taught me from time to time. While he wasn't a great manager at the beginning, he ended up being

a great leader and mentor. Done in the comments, I'm going to read this post from NIO by Illuminal. I appreciate how Mr. Smith was like, you little s**t. Let's be allies. That was our slash malicious compliance, and if you like this content, be sure to follow my podcast because I put on your Reddit podcast episodes every single day. That was our slash malicious compliance, and if you like this content, be sure to follow my podcast because I put on your Reddit podcast episodes every single day.