rSlash - r/Maliciouscompliance You Wanna Fight with the US Military? OK!

Episode Date: June 12, 2026

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free of charge. BetMGM operates pursuant to an operating agreement with Eye Gaming Ontario. What happens when two people who grew up in a very strange corner of Los Angeles look back and realize just how bizarre their upbringings really were? They start a podcast, of course. I'm Ashley Johnson. And I'm Talas and Jaffe. Before we became the internet people we are today,

we spent our childhoods as working actors, appearing in shows like growing pains and films like Mr. Mom. And our podcast, Weird Kids, we're diving deep into our unique upbringings, our friendship with each other, all the delightfully odd interests we still carry with us today. In each episode, we get to share stories of our youth, the things that bring us joy, the problems that we face,

and occasionally the friends we've collected along the way. If you're a misfit, an outcast, or just a weirdo who loves all things nostalgic and unconventional, come take a seat at our table. Each week, we'll be releasing previously members-only episodes on YouTube and all major podcast platforms, with new episodes dropping exclusively and ad-free on Beacon.com. Welcome to R-Slasish Compliance, where someone decides to pick a fight with the United States military. Our next Reddit post is from Jenfield Marshall. This is a story from my time in the Air Force. We took part in an international exercise in Spain. For this, we deployed several aircraft and around 200

personnel to a Spanish air base. I myself was there ahead of the main contingent with a small advance party of about 15 men to prepare everything for their arrival. One of our tasks was to register roughly 50 rented vehicles at the base gate and bring them onto the base. To do this, the Spanish authorities introduced a rule that each of us could only register five vehicles under our name. So we drove the vehicles up to the gate and then each of us gradually brought in three to five cars, including registering them in our names, which was noted on the vehicle's access pass. At first, this went smoothly and we were able to hand over the vehicle keys to our comrades arriving later. However, after two or three days, problem started. Unofficial notice was issued stating that from

now on, each person was only allowed to have one vehicle registered under their name. So we gathered additional people and drove to the gate to transfer the excess vehicles from one person to another. This whole process took about two hours, but eventually it was done. That arrangement lasted for about a week. Then, suddenly, cars trying to leave the base were being turned back. The guards would no longer let them leave unless the person under whose name the car was registered was actually sitting in the vehicle. We then sought talks with the local authorities and explained that we assigned vehicles according to current operational needs and that it was impossible to comply with this new rule. However, we were dismissed rather smugly with the explanation that if it was absolutely necessary,

the vehicle could simply be re-registered. From that point on, it very much felt like deliberate harassment to me. But we still had good old malicious compliance. We instructed all soldiers that whenever time allowed, they should drive to the gate in pairs and have vehicles re-registered. Either from a person who already had a car to someone without one, or if both already had a registered vehicle, simply swap them around. Within a very short time, the guard office was completely clogged up, and the person working there probably had to process around 50 vehicle registration changes a day. And what can I say, after two days of the guard office being blocked by endless vehicle re-registrations,

it suddenly no longer mattered whether the registered person was sitting in the car or not. Well, it's like they say, one of the best ways to solve your problem is to make it someone else's problem. Our next Reddit post is from General Field Marshal. For this story, I need to provide a bit of background about some standard fighter jet operating procedures that become important later on. This was part of an international military exercise hosted on a Spanish air base. Several nations deployed their fighter aircraft there in order to train together in various combat scenarios. Our own contingent consisted of roughly 20 fighter jets and 200 personnel. Since an exercise of this scale requires considerable logistical planning, there's something called a site survey.

About six months before the exercise, a small delegation of ours traveled to the Spanish base for several days to inspect the facility, and coordinate procedures. Topics included things like, where will our aircraft be parked? Which rooms can we use for our equipment? What are the emergency procedures? And among many other things, how does refueling and defueling of the jets work?

Everyone understands that aircraft need to be refueled. This is usually done immediately after landing because the danger comes primarily from fuel vapors, not the liquid fuel itself. A fully fueled aircraft is therefore actually much safe, safer than one with nearly empty tanks full of combustible vapors. However, it sometimes happens that faults are discovered only after refueling, faults that may require removing fuel lines or other components during repairs. For that reason, there's a procedure called defueling, where the fuel

is pumped back from the aircraft into a tanker truck. During the site survey, this was approved without issue. We were simply told to notify them, and a specialized fuel truck would come over and recover the fuel. Fast forward to a day during the exercise, we'd already been flying successful missions alongside the other nations for several days. The aircraft landed and were refueled as usual. Afterwards, while downloading the flight data, one aircraft reported an electrical fault in one of its external fuel tanks mounted beneath the wings to extend range and endurance. After some troubleshooting, it became clear that the external tank had to be replaced and repaired in the workshop. Under normal circumstances, this is not a major job. The tank is defueled through the aircraft,

removed, a replacement tank is installed, and then the jet is refueled again. Usually a 25-minute task, or so we thought. When we requested the defueling truck, as previously agreed during the site survey, we were suddenly told things were no longer that simple. First, a specialist would have to take a fuel sample from the aircraft. The sample would then be sent to a laboratory, And once the results arrived, several days later, we could finally receive the tanker truck for defueling. For us, this was completely unacceptable, and entirely contrary to the agreements made beforehand. Losing the aircraft for several days would have been a significant setback since several pilots would have been unable to participate in the exercise. When we complained, every reasonable compromise was rejected, and the discussion ended with the rather snarky remarks.

Then just burn the fuel if it's that important. We didn't need to be told twice. Next morning, 5.30 a.m. The official exercise schedule for the day would not begin until 10 a.m. Long live Spanish snugness. And there was barely any activity on the base. A light haze hung over the airfield, and almost no sound disturbed the silence of the Spanish plateau.

Yet four people were already awake. casually walking along the line of parked jets on the apron. Morning Dew covered the aircraft with a dull shimmer while dawn slowly prepared to give way to sunrise. It was a peaceful moment. Right until two jet engines suddenly roared to life. We applied as much thrust as the brakes could physically hold. The asphalt behind the aircraft dried almost instantly, and beyond it lay a strip of dry earth.

sand, dust, dead vegetation, and small stones were blasted into the air, forming a massive cloud of debris that drifted roughly a hundred meters straight into an open Spanish Air Force shelter. It took about 25 minutes to burn through 1,700 kilograms of jet fuel. Shortly afterwards, the external tank was replaced, and by around 7 a.m., we were able to report the aircraft fully mission-capable again so the pilots could plan their sorties for the day. That same morning, our commanding officer was spontaneously invited to meet the Spanish base commander to explain who had woken them up so early and why. Meanwhile, Spanish personnel spent a full two hours sweeping all the dirt and debris back out of the shelter. After we explained the situation, we were informed that from that point

onward, we would be allowed to use the defueling truck without prior fuel sampling. Unfortunately, we never needed the procedure again before the exercise ended. However, the liaison officer who had suggested that we just burn the fuel, was later observed attending a rather lengthy meeting with the base commander himself. And had there not been aircraft launching in the meantime, you probably could have heard the commander yelling all the way to the runway. Well, I'm probably going to sound really patriotic when I say this, but maybe don't pick fights with the United States military. Kind of asking for trouble. We've got a pretty rough reputation, you know.

Our next Reddit post is from Branigan's Law. A buddy of mine works in IT and has a manager who has fully drank the AI Kool-Aid. He's been a pain, forcing the staff to use AI whenever possible, even when it doesn't make sense. The mandate is, even if it's faster to do it manually than with Klaude, get clawed to do it. The staff is demoralized and quiet quitting, and the manager is oblivious as to why. The malicious compliance comes in when the manager told the IT staff, get creative with using AI for other tasks. It doesn't just have to be with coding. The company writes HIPAA compliance software, so the staff has to take those dumb online courses that force you to watch videos and do quizzes that are super boring.

So my friend had an idea. He pointed Claude at the site, logged in for, and got the AI to do the course for him. It used Puppeteer, a framework for pressing buttons and navigating web pages and code like a human would. To go through the test, watch all the videos, and take the test at the end, all while my friends sat back and watched. During the bi-weekly scrum, the manager asked the staff how they were able to creatively use AI outside of their coding tasks. And my friend proudly announced that he got his AI to do his HIPAA compliance test for him. The rest of the team laughed, and the manager ate his own words having to admit that there

are some things he doesn't want AI doing for the team. The best part is the online course provider charges by the number of students who take the course. So the manager would have to lose face by buying another seat, so my friend is free and clear and doesn't have to take the certification again till next year. I like this top comment from Perfect Scene, I never heard this quote before. Quote from the mythical man month. No matter how many women you put on the job, it takes nine months to make a baby.

Some things need to be done by humans. Our next Reddit post is from Cyberbike. I work in a small town convenience store in the Midwest many years ago. It was part of a chain based out of Ames, Iowa. One night, as it was getting close to closing, a customer who had finished pumping gas came in to pay. He immediately started saying that he wasn't paying for the last gallon of gas because the pump had not shut off properly. I looked out and I could see a small puddle of gas, maybe four ounces worth.

I informed him of all the signs informing the users that they were responsible for what they pumped. He got Asinine and asked me what I was going to do about it. He refused to pay the full amount. Without saying a word, I stepped out from behind the counter, walked around the pizza cook, another employee, and hid it for the pay phone next to the door. Mr. Asinine asked me what I thought I was doing and I informed him that I was calling 911 for attempted theft. He told me to get back to the register and he would pay the full amount, which he did while calling me every name in the book. I didn't respond, which made him even matter. Once the transaction was complete, he pulled a little notebook and pin out of his pocket and gave me a really snide look as he told me,

I want you to give me the president's address now. Cue malicious compliance. Yes, sir, I told him, it's 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, Washington, D.C. I don't know the zip code offhand, sorry. For all my international listeners out there, that is famously the address of the White House. He's so mad that he doesn't realize what I've given him. He's just scribbling it down as fast as he can. Once he finishes writing it down,

he closes his little notepad, pockets it and his pen, and tells me that I'll be hearing from the home office once they receive his letter. As he's walking out the door, I raise my voice and say, Sir! He stops, turns around, and growls back,

What? I answer as sweetly as I can. Have a nice night. I could see the vein on his forehead pop up before he turned and stormed across the lot to his car. The pizza cook, who was watching the whole thing, tells me, dude, you're cold. Which part, I ask him.

Telling him to have a nice night, that was cold. I tried to explain to the cook what the address was that I gave to Mr. Asinine. he'd completely missed it. I've often wondered how far that guy made it before he realized what I'd done. Still tickles me over 30 years later. Down in the comments, we have this story from D. King. I was pumping gas one night into an old Suzuki motorcycle that I had. It literally had a one or two-gallon tank. About five seconds into pumping, gas just starts flowing out the side of the pump where the hose was connected. The pump said that I pumped 10 gallons. I go inside and tell the clerk what happened, and the the clerk starts berating me for dumping fuel everywhere and she wouldn't listen to what I was saying.

I told her I was not going to pay and she should call the cops and I'll wait. Officer shows up and talks to the clerk. Then he comes to talk to me. He says, here's the deal. I'm going to start filling my cruiser and if there's no issue, you pay your fuel plus mine. I said, go for it. The officer starts pumping and fuel just goes everywhere. So instead of listening to me, maybe looking at a video and shutting down one pump, the fire department came and shut down the entire station of 12 pumps. And no one was allowed into the store since they blocked everything. That was our slash malicious compliance.

And if you like this content, be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day. Hey, y'all, it's Kelly Clarkson with Wayfair. Ever order furniture online and wonder, what if? Like, what if it doesn't hold up? That sofa was four days old. You should have ordered from Wayfair. With Wayfair, there's no wayfair. what if. Just style you love and quality you can trust. Visit wayfair.ca.

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