rSlash - r/Murderedbywords + r/Choosingbeggars

Episode Date: July 24, 2019

🛒 My merch: http://bit.ly/rSlashMerch r/Murderedbywords Have you ever seen someone get murdered by words? This video has some of the most vicious comebacks and hilarious insults that the internet has to offer. Somebody needs to call an ambulance, because this is an absolute massacre! If you enjoyed my r/murderedbywords video, hit the subscribe button and like this video! 💗 Support Me: http://bit.ly/supportRSLASH 😈 r/Murderedbywords - "At least I'm not famous for EATING MY OWN TAMPON" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EQrfTgCNjEw&list=PLQWFBACAObMj6W6NyJvSBp_kj2HI33iXN&index=151 🔔 Subscribe! https://bit.ly/2E3A8i6 👍 Like this video if you want to see more! 💬 Join my Discord: https://discord.gg/Rtwc9ZC 🐦 Follow me on Twitter: https://twitter.com/rslashyt 🔊 Listen to my Podcasts: http://bit.ly/rSlashPodcast 🎧 My Podcasts on Spotify: http://bit.ly/rSlashSpotify "Sneaky Snitch" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) License: CC By Attribution 3.0 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

You're flying to meet with a new supplier to keep your business growing. And with the business platinum card from American Express, you can earn $820 in new value and more, which includes a $200 travel credit toward your flight. Now, boarding business class. American Express, don't do business without it. Terms and conditions apply as at mx.ca-slashbusinessplatinum. Welcome to our slash murdered by words, where sticks and stones can break your bones, but words

can commit first to green manslaughter. Honestly, climate change scares the heck out of me, and it makes me so sad to see what we're losing because of it. It seems like more than that would be overkill at this point. And if you like that pose, I highly recommend checking out our slash Don't You Know Who I Am, which has posed a people unwittingly talking to absolute world experts in whatever they're trashing. There's nothing more satisfying than being prettier than your ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. The fact that he's not going for just looks anymore means you taught him a valuable lesson. I feel like as far as dating warning signs go, a girl who calls herself Queen Ben Laden is pretty high up there.

Being a heterosexual during a hashtag Pride Month is like being a Jew back in Nazi Germany. They're applied from gait off shitler. It's true. A sympathetic gait couple have sheltered me in their attic for the last five days. The gait stoppo came yesterday and interrogated my benefactors, but they didn't search the house. At least not this time. I'm putting them in terrible danger, but I don't know what else to do. I know what happens to those who protect breeders.

They know it too. How long will they be willing to risk their lives for me? I trust them. I have to. What happens when the closet police come back though? What happens when they're forced to choose between their safety and mine? I pray it doesn't come to that. A crowd was marching in the street today. I could hear them chanting, yes, queen, yes, queen, through the walls of my hiding place. I can't tell if it's the stomp of their thigh high boots or my own shaking, but it feels like an earthquake,

an earthquake inside my own head. My god, there's so many of them. I need to stay positive, but I can feel the spidery threat of hope slipping through my fingers. Why didn't I listen after hominact? I could have left. There was still time, but I didn't listen. There's no escaping now. Only hiding, hiding, and waiting for Pride Month to be over. Hahaha.

And this comment from Theo and Dari down in the comments, I've spent about 10 minutes just wondering how amazing the gay stoppos uniform would be. This next post is from recovering H2O addict and it's about the failed Dallas shooter who didn't kill anyone. Look at this freaking dork. Hey moron, you're dead and everyone is digging through your posts and making fun of you. You didn't kill anybody and got domed by a security guard. It rules that you're dead. Normally, it's a bad thing when the media pays attention to mass

shooters because that's what they wanted originally. But I love that this is this guy's legacy. He's just a stupid dork. Man, dude, I got into a huge argument over at R-Slash Vegan over this just two days ago. I don't eat meat, but I will not look at my dog and be so up my own butt about my lifestyle choice that I'd put it on her. Dogs are animals, and it's in their nature to hunt, have a prey drive, run with a pack, and eat freaking meat. Depriving them of that is abuse.

Suck my dick, yes it is. If you say otherwise, you probably don't even own a dog and only think of these things when trying to sleep at night, and all of a sudden you're an expert, a fricking Caesar Milan of dog nutrition. You can tell any carnivore by looking at their teeth. Their teeth are made up so that they can tear apart a living creature while it's alive and struggling to get away. They tried throwing the, uh, look at hippos teeth, they're herbivores at me, but newsflash morons, they were proven omnivores a long time ago, and are well known for cannibalizing each other.

I'm vegan, but holy freak, do I hate other vegans with a burning passion? You don't eat meat, cool. Couldn't have been able to tell that without that huge meaty dick in all of your mouths. Edit, here they come out of the woodwork. Before we're applying with whatever knee jerk reaction you're having, ask yourself this. Do you have a dog? If you do, is it currently on a vegan diet? Didn't think so. Shut up. Edit to how dare you say that about hippos. Whaaah. Here's a video of hippos eating a zebra.

Shut up. Don't you love it when people post video evidence showing just how wrong they are? I'm glad when I used to skate as a kid, my parents didn't make me look like a dork by wearing some pointin' with helmet. Generations snowflake strikes again. Imagine how nice you would have been without all the head injuries. Or maybe the parents of the guy in the first post didn't make him use a helmet because they were kind of hoping that he would fall and they wouldn't have to have such a stupid kid

anymore. Do you accept insult? You absolute buffoon! Top definition in Urban Dictionary. Buffoon. A moron who thinks he's smarter than others, but cannot spell the word buffoon. Oh no. Imagine knowing a guy that can solve all your financial problems without asking for passion at hugging. His name is employment. That girl from the first post is just one broken

condom away from showing up in an entitled parent's post. Let me get this straight. You're asking me what has gotten better with the current generation, the generation that snorts condoms and eats tide pods. As opposed to the generation that made black people use separate water fountains and fired folks for being gay. I'll take the condom trick any day. Foxes are Lupine, not K9, completely different species. The problem with putting more effort into sounding authoritative than being accurate is you reveal that you are an idiot. K9 is a layman term for all animals in the family canadai, which includes every animal in this

list plus a few more, like the bush dog and the raccoon dog. The problem with putting more effort into sounding smug than being accurate is that you reveal that you're not only an idiot, but also a jerk. Oh, and furthermore, Lupine means wolf-like, not fox-like. The term you were looking for is vulpine. Foxes are both vulpine and canine, but they are distinctly not lupine. Jessica Beal is getting bashed, hated, and canceled, because she doesn't believe in vaccinations. This toxic outrage behavior shouldn't be acceptable. It's disgusting.

It's okay to have beliefs. Repeat. It's okay to have different beliefs. Everyone is entitled to freedom of speech by right. However, freedom of speech does not mean freedom from consequences due to exercising that freedom of speech. You say things that endanger children, people will criticize you harshly as well they should. Also, can I point out the irony of the first poster criticizing people for exercising

their right to criticize people? Are you not aware that you're actually using the thing that you say shouldn't exist? I just stopped at the newly remodeled McDonald's in Blink, very nice job. I was looking around and noticed the flagpole was gone. When I inquired whether or not they were putting it back up, I was told, no, so goodbye goodbye, blank McDonald's. My business will go elsewhere from now on. Where they are not afraid to let our flag wave proudly. Stand up for America.

Put our flag back and wave it proudly. To me, every business should have the American flag on display. For flips sake, it's a flag at McDonald's. You probably asked a kid behind the counter who probably has no idea what the flip you're talking about and just said no. Or more likely, it's just a freaking McDonald's which isn't a US Embassy, Postal Office, Courthouse, etc. It doesn't need a flag outside of it. When will people in Carroll County grow the heck up and realize that your backwoods way

of doing things is the reason that this country is dying, except for the oil which even that is fading away? The fact that you let weather or not a flag is outside an establishment, dictate what greasy and calorie loaded garbage you shove in your face is actually adorable. Grow up. Go experience something other than Carol County because a bunch of 30 to 50 year olds complaining in all caps about how they won't buy a 99 cent cheeseburger just because they disrespected our right to be patriotic and fat at the same time is honestly embarrassing.

Grow up and visit a place that isn't living in 1953. A while back, I heard my friend, a male, insult another dude by saying, you look like the kind of guy who wouldn't go to Walmart to buy his girlfriend a box of tampons. And I still think about that crowning insult sometimes. My dad once called another guy, someone who thinks loading the dishwasher once in a while makes him less of a man. I like your dad already. One time, my dad's boss was giving him flak for always leaving work early, so he could get home and help my mom with me when I was a newborn.

And his boss said, I've never changed a diaper in my life, really proudly. And my dad responded, I'd be ashamed to ever admit I was that worthless of a husband. Oh wow. So in this next post, an anti-vaxxer called out a pro-vaxxer for being a shield for corporations, then the pro-vaxxer responds with this. Because someone being employed by a corporation obviously invalidates their opinion. To all the anti-vaccine moms out there, keep it up.

Go ahead and dress your unvaccinated children in their baby gap clothes and make sure you load them safely into their grey co-car seats. Then go ahead and drive them to your whole foods, where you buy their organic Vegicids Baby Food in your Lulumon Yoga Pans. When you're done, make sure you load it all into your BMW SUV and drive home, listening to Taylor Swift or Adam Levine feeling good about how you're sticking it to the man and leading your independent, corporate free lifestyle. Maybe work out a little bit with your crossfit personal trainer while waiting for your

husband to get home from his board executive job at Comcast. So we can take you out on a nice dinner at Gordon Ramsay's Hell Kitchen where the two of you can talk about how you're making such edgy choices. Like keeping your minds, bodies, and lives free from corporate agendas while padding each other on the back. When you get home and pay Consuela for her babysitting and then send her home with 30 bucks to her immunocompromised child that she's trying to make extra money

to cover the medical bills for. If she's lucky, she's completely disinfected herself before leaving your house where your child, who was unknown to you, exposed to the measles virus on your whole food strip was sleeping. If she's unlucky, she didn't realize, and now her child is infected as well. So tell me, will you send flowers to her child's funeral before or after you log onto your Comcast Internet account?

And post about your holistic life choices on your anti-vaccination message boards so you have some kind of positive affirmation of your terrible life choices and false sense of due goodery. Also worth pointing out that this was posted on Facebook, which is one of the largest corporations on planet Earth. At this point, there's no excuse for baby boomers still in the workforce to be technologically inept anymore. It's just willful ignorance.

This stuff is not flipping hard. Why is it asking for a password? Because you're logging into something, Martha. That's how it's been for the last 20 freaking years. How can I do this? Can you show me? No, Jeb, you can Google it like the rest of us. You've been an engineer and working with computers

for 35 years. Why would I waste time when some 12-year-old Indian kid on YouTube can walk you through it far more clearly? It requires one-have exposure to the concept of Googling to understand how it works. Your generation was smart enough to create a giant hole in the ozone, but not smart enough to realize you have the near entirety of human knowledge at your disposal, just by typing in a few words. Give me a break. I'm just not tech savvy.

No, you just refuse to learn despite most modern software being idiot proof. Stuck in your ways out of entitlement. The worst part is, after you help out an old person, nine times out of ten, they'll give you some BS passive aggressive thank you, out an old person, 9 times out of 10 they'll give you some BS passive aggressive thank you, along the lines of, oh I guess you young people have to know something about those phones you're always on huh. Give me a freaking break Greg, maybe we're staring at them because it's less depressing to be distracted, instead of coming to terms with the fact our planet is literally dying.

It's not my fault your wife hasn't passionately hugged you since 2006, go away. And another thing that just gets my blood boiling is their ability to get into their settings, completely mess things up, and then manage to develop total amnesia about how it happened. What do you mean you set your phone to Japanese on accident, Deborah? There's like 15 separate menus you have to navigate through to get there. I think it's because I got a virus. No Arthur, it's not a virus. The only viruses here are your rampant stupidity and the deadly pathogens carried

by your unvaccinated and probably ugly grandchildren. I just absolutely loathe that the people who decide if women should be executed for having abortions or not are the same people who can't figure out how to work a blue-ray player with the instructions right in front of them. These side marios all you can eat is all you can munch a soup, sell it, and garlic homo! Oh my god, me! I'm gonna move out of here! It's hockey season and you can get anything you need delivered with Uber Eats. Well, almost, almost anything. So no, you can't get a nice drink on Uber Eats.

But iced tea, ice cream, or just plain ol' ice? Yes, we deliver those. Gold tenders, no. But chicken tenders, yes. Because those are groceries, and we deliver those too. Along with your favorite restaurant food, alcohol, and other everyday essentials. Order Uber Eats, no. For alcohol, you must be legal drinking age.

Please enjoy responsibly. Product availability varies by region. See out for details. True fact, I once had an older generation person that I know call me on the phone because there was a little red circle with a number one over their settings icon on their iPhone. And they were worried about what it meant.

And I needed to walk them through the process of running an iPhone automatic update. That was R-Slash Murted By Words, and if you enjoy my content, please hit that subscribe button and like the video as well, because it really, truly does help me out. We'll be back with more R-Slash content right after this short break. Welcome to R-Slash Choosing Beggars, where strangers expect you to buy them free HD TVs. Our next Reddit post is from deleted. Is the Ford still available? Yes it is.

Would you like to come by and take a look at it? I would. Are you firm on the price? I can offer 1800. 1800. Are you serious? Yes, that is a generous offer You said the lock on the sleeper shell is broken with that in mind. I want to offer less The list price was for 3,800 though the truck's value is for 5,000 so it's already severely discounted. I can't take less than 3,800.

Come on, please. Your truck isn't worth that much. I can do 1950. That's all the money I have. Please, I really need a truck. Your truck isn't worth 3, hello. I can do 1950. It's for my son. He needs a truck for college. Text me back. Geez, I was driving. Look, I can't go below asking. I'm selling my car for what I owe on it, so that's the lowest I can sell for. Well, just give the bank the 1800 and you can keep making payments on it. Just so it's clear, you want me to give the bank 1800, give you the truck and keep making payments on a truck that I no longer have?

Yes, please, can you? Absolutely not. That's not how any of this works. You realize you wouldn't receive your title if you did that? Wait, why not? Oh my god, look, you should go talk to a bank and learn a basic understanding about how car loans work I'm gonna refuse your offer, but thank you for showing interest in my truck. I hope you have a wonderful day But how will my son get to school? Hey, I can do 2000. Fine, jerk, only Vajongos drive automatics anyway. And then we have this contribution from the same, but better, down in the comments.

In the UK, mail order catalogs used to offer a commission scheme. People could order on your account and you earned between 10 and 20% commission as cashback. You would collect the payments from the people who ordered stuff and pass payments onto the catalog. A friend of mine wanted to buy some fishing gear, so I said sure. He got the gear, but then refused to make payments. I told the catalog who had a process in place for such occurrences, and they sent dead collectors after him. His mother came to my door, screaming at me, demanding to know why I didn't tell him that he was responsible for making the payments.

I did try and tell her that, yes, he did sign a form, and I did explain that he had to make the payments each month, but she responded by shouting, why can't you pay for him? He was 24 years old, and he genuinely believed he could order several hundred pounds worth of stuff, and that I would have to put the bill for it. 24 years old, his mother came to yell at you? What the f? I know a guy in the US that is 34. He's lost four jobs in the past five years because his mother goes into have a talk with his bosses when he goes home and complains about how things are going at work.

Until reading this post, I literally didn't know that mothers like this existed. I mean sure, I've read a lot of entitled parents posts. But there are honestly mothers who go and yell at bosses? Like what? Our next read at Post is from Deleted. Hi Blink, will you make me one of these? I'm sorry, but I don't understand what you mean. I want what you created.

I want a picture of me in the middle with all my characters from the stories I write. If you want a collage like that, I feel like it'd be easier for you to create it yourself. I do not draw. I need you to do that. I am a different kind of artist. My words and stories are arts. I want you to draw my characters and make it look like the picture I sent you. It could be a big opportunity for you to do this because people will see your art through

mine. I'm sorry, but I can't do that. I don't do free work and commissions are difficult to do at the moment because my art tablet is broken. You have made a massive mistake. Doing this for me would have made you a symbol in the world of intellect and literature. It is so typical for someone like you to use abbreviated words. I was prepared to open your world to my knowledge and share my stories, my art with you. You will forever regret the choice

you just made. So I will offer to let you do this project again. If you do not, she will have to face the consequences. It would have been a funny plot twist if this was like JK Rowling trying to find the artist for her book cover. Our next reddit post is from Bunchan. My sister, Unqualified, is looking for a job. She's open to anything. She's broke, hasn't paid her rent in a month, and is borrowing money from my mother, which she has no way of paying back.

I know there's a few openings available at work, so I speak to the CEO and put in a good word in the hope she will get a job and stop taking money from my mother. My sister gets offered a community-based job full-time, 40 hours, paying about 24 bucks an hour, above average wage in my country. She's offered flexible hours to work around her kids, and she can bring them to work after school so she doesn't have to pay childcare. Free healthcare is also included as there is a clinic on site. Amongst other perks, overall a great place to work. In true form, my sister questions the salary and requests an hourly rate of between 30 to

36 bucks per hour. As working in the community is a hard job. This is more than even my boss gets paid. She then requests to work only 6 hour days instead of 8 hour days because she doesn't think she can make full time hours work. The CEO declines her requests. She emails him saying she feels she is worth more and has other opportunities elsewhere. She still hasn't got a job. I'm humiliated that I put my name out there for it, and that despite her begging for any

good job opportunity, she still managed to eff it up. Is anyone else like deeply depressed that this choosing beggar turn down what is essentially a dream job for an unqualified anyone, for an unqualified anyone. 24 bucks an hour full time, you can bring your kids into work with flexible hours and an on-site clinic? I personally know people who would leap at the opportunity for this job. Our next Reddit post is from CyriBral Spinal Druid, and on this post, this is a set of messages from someone who hacked OPs PlayStation account. Bro, I used to have your account for almost a year and a half, and I really liked your games, so can you be nice and share your password with me?

Please, I know it's awkward! The only thing that could have made this better is if the kids mom got on here and sent threatening messages to call the police. TV wanted 55 inches or bigger. Hey guys, I'm looking for a big screen TV if anyone wants to get rid of one for free. Must be name brand, 55 inches or bigger. No rubbish, please. You deliver or I can send truck if you pay for gas.

Must be LED or prefer OLED and less than 3 years old. Who is this imaginary person out there who's drowning in TVs, especially OLED TVs like please take these TVs off my hands? Our next Reddit post is from Idris. Hi Blank, I was wondering if I would be able to use your staff discount for Evans. Hi, I'm sorry, but I get a yearly cap for my staff discount and was planning on using it soon and really don't have much left. If you have a yearly cap on it and don't have much left, that means that you've used it loads already, and I find it very inconsiderate that you would keep it to yourself.

You should treat a family friend better. I'll make sure to remember this. What's with choosing beggars ending conversations like they're making a vow to get revenge? Like lady chill, it's like a 10% discount or something. Our next Reddit post is from Fitspecial. Hello, I must say I'm quite upset. I have been using images from your site on my website for a long time now and suddenly they are gone.

And I am concerned. I am using my website to build up my business which is not easy and you change the location or deleted them or something. My concern is that if you do not upload the images again, I might have to contact my lawyer as I am using these images for the purpose of advertising and this sudden change without warning means I have to find where you have moved them to and get them working again. Why would you do such a thing? I am an honest businessman and small businesses like mine never get respect.

I hope you realize it took me a long time to find images I liked. Now I have to find your images again. Please put them back right away. I don't think you want me to call my lawyer about this. Please contact me either at this email or at Blank to resolve this matter. Sincerely Blank. Opie, I think the best solution here is to swap out all the images of your website with

giant hairy dogs. See what that guy says then. Our next reddit posted from Gotha Goldfish. Hey man, I got a free trial membership from Crunchyroll if you want it. You're the only person I know that really watches anime. I already have Crunchyroll. Okay, no worries, I'll give it to someone else. How about a Netflix membership instead?

Sorry dude, all I have is the Crunchyroll one. I'd settle for a Nell TV. or you could just let me use your Netflix. How about our slash choosing beggars? FU! Why offer something if you're not going to give people what they ask for? Guess I've learned my lesson. I promise never to offer you something again. EFF!

Oof. Our next red appost is from Arman's copy of Swink. Hey man, love the record crate you posted. Would you be able to print me one? Hi, thanks. I'm not sure. They take a while to print and are pretty big, so it may be too difficult to ship. I can pay for shipping.

Give me your PayPal and I'll send you $5 to cover it. I really want one. I think it's awesome. Thanks, but I'm in the UK, so shipping it to you would probably cost at least 20 bucks, especially considering the size. I don't think it's feasible, sorry. Dang man, fine. I really want one, so I'll pay 20 bucks, send me your paypal.

20 bucks is just what it costs to ship it. There's other costs involved too. Tell you what, call it 50 bucks all in and I'll make you one since you like it so much. WTF man, I looked online how much that printer plastic costs and it's like $15 for a huge amount. You could probably make 50 crates for that.

Don't try and scam me. I'm not. There's other costs involved than just the plastic. I thought 50 bucks was a fair deal. Especially considering I wasn't even selling anything and you approached me to request something. Whatever, dickhead! There's no way you could justify $50 when you've already said that shipping was 20 and the plastic is dirt cheap.

You're right, I think I made a calculation error. Bear with me Asak and I'll give you a more accurate price. I'm guessing you don't have any of this stuff already, and would have to buy it all in order to make one yourself, so I factor that into the costs. Also, it seems shipping was a little cheaper than I expected, so apologies for that. I've included the cheaper costs in the revised calculation below. One kilogram of printer plastic, 18 poundsbs, shipping 10 lbs, shipping materials 2 lbs, 50 lbs, sandpaper of various grits, 6 lbs, primer 8 lbs, lacquer 8 lbs, acrylic paint 3 colors, 3 lbs, tube

times 3, acrylic paint thinner, 6 lbs, bottle, airbrush 25 lbs, airbrush compressorbrush compressor 60 pounds, 3d printer 160 pounds, 18 hour printer time at 8 pounds an hour 144 pounds, since I will regularly have to check on it and it will also take up 18 hours of printer time that could be used for other projects. 6 hours spent designing the 3d model at 12 pounds an hour, 72 pounds. My 15 years of design experience that allowed me to think of the idea and make it reality, 300 pounds. Petrol costs to go to the post office, 2 pounds. An hour out of my day to go to the post office, 10 pounds. Electricity to run a printer for 18 hours. Probably not much, so this one's on the house because I'm feeling generous. That makes a total of 840 pounds and 50

cents, but let's just call it an even 840. My PayPal is blank. I'll get it sent out within a couple of days of you sending the payment. Thanks so much for being supportive. It's always great to hear that people like things you created. Mm-hmm. Ha-ha. Ha-ha. This reply from Littie.

You should print a massive tick with go app yourself, fretting on the side and send it to him, just for the lulls. Ha-ha. OP, I will pay you 50 pounds myself for you to do this. Please send this to this guy. That was our slash choosing beggars, and just a reminder for those of you out there who prefer to listen to my content in podcast format.

I do have a podcast available. The links to my podcast are down in the video description. Thanks to my podcast are down in the video description.